lasunray: After Helping Her To Find A Job She Boned Me

Hello Nairalanders,
Happy New Month,
I Helped a very close friend of mine to find a good job that pays close to hundred thousand naira, after her first pay she Just stopped calling, texting, keeping in touch as she does before. Its not that she is that busy because she does 2days off and 3days on (Mon to Fri).
I don't need her money; if she gives me any, I will definitely not collect.
I still try to keep in touch but she ain't reciprocating.
She gists me about the work place and other things but if I ask now, she always has nothing to say.

NB: Am still schooling.

How would you feel if you are in my shoes? I want to learn here so you candid advise will be appreciated.

u just have to move on bro..that is human being for u... Bro me too need job if u can help ...studied Accounting (2.1). Email - olaklives05@yahoo.com, facebook nickname-- ola aol

oyb:

also, op is a student. as a 'bigger girl' she can't be seen fraternizing with small boys on legedez benz , not when she is probably being toasted by bachelors with toyota camrys [ i hate all those bachelors in my office with free money to buy correct motoi etc ] - just sayin' - no offense intended

you may become even bigger when you get a job. na so cookie dey crumble

Lolz. No be every student dey use legedez benz naa

It's God that got her the job not you! When will Nigerians men start thinking with their head not there dicks.

This can never happen to me. anything i do for a woman; i do because and not "because". so guys do something for a woman because and not "because", so e nor go too pain you.lol

Afam4eva: I think we have to learn how to help people without expecting our gesture to be reciprocated.

he doesnt expect anything from her. he only feels she is now keeping a distance from him which is actually not good. they have been friends and suddenly she has turned the other way because levels don change courtesy of his assistance.

i think we should just learn to be reasonable in the ways we do our things cos if he sees a better opportunity he deems fot her, he will not be encouraged to give it ti her.

by the way, as a person, if anybody helps me get a job, it is good to come back and say ' please take this' as a show of appreciation. a yoruba axioms says he who appreciates a favour of yesterday will surely live to get a better one.

there is no body, and i say it again, no body will experience such a thing and not feel a lil bad about it. its human nature.

@op what has been the level of relationship between you too. is it one that you expect to later become something of an intimacy? you said you are still in school. in this part of the world, it is considered that her level don pass your own but oyinbo man life no be like that.

anyway pls continue to be who you are. please continue to derive pleasure in helping others. God's eyes see beyond us and everyman will be responsible for his deeds, both good and bad.

OP, what were you expecting from the lady? Do you have romantic interest in her. The lesson here is to do things because you want to not because you want people to be appreciative and grateful to you. Don't get me wrong- gratitude is expected of one you do good to but if you don't set your hopes on it, you won't be feeling the kind of disappointment you are having now.

lasunray:

Se.x is outta it

Dude so you just need a girl friend then right ?

lasunray: After Helping Her To Find A Job She Boned Me

Hello Nairalanders,
Happy New Month,
I Helped a very close friend of mine to find a good job that pays close to hundred thousand naira, after her first pay she Just stopped calling, texting, keeping in touch as she does before. Its not that she is that busy because she does 2days off and 3days on (Mon to Fri).
I don't need her money; if she gives me any, I will definitely not collect.
I still try to keep in touch but she ain't reciprocating.
She gists me about the work place and other things but if I ask now, she always has nothing to say.

NB: Am still schooling.

How would you feel if you are in my shoes? I want to learn here so you candid advise will be appreciated.

firstly, under wat agreement did u help her get d job? Is it on a condition that u wil marry her thereafter? If yes, keep pasuading her by way of sweet talks or tell ur best freind to assist u in talking sence into her mendula. But if ur answer is 'no', go ahead with ur life and continue to giv God the glory for atleast bringing a meaning into someones' life. Allow her to go with her conscience and i bet u, her conscience will continualy punish her til eternity unless she realize her wrong and ask 4 pardon.

caesaraba:

I don't think the O.P is talking about indebtedness or being paid back. You help your friend get a job, and he/she stops relating with you just like that? That's not how friendship works.

Anyway, thank your God because her true self has just been revealed.

P.s: To those who think one can't be friends with the opposite sex without expecting some form of sexual relationship to exist, my advice is that you should work on your social skills. Not everything is about pant, bra and bed.

The point I was tryin to bring out the other time was that; "my not making advances to her might also be a factor". I once had a friend like that, because I no ask her out she had to come out straight & say she can't be in such kind of friendship anymore.

The OP is disappointed and he is right to disappointed. He is also worried that he is losing a close friend, a friend he actually had to help find a job to an undisclosed reason. It is wrong for the lady to act that way, favors need to be reciprocated and is expected. The normal thing is to ignore her and move on, but my ways are abnormal mostly, for me, I prefer to call her and transfer negative energies to her and create a systematic imbalance on her life. Someone has to teach her lessons on appreciation.

oyb:

guy, sometimes a little bit of help [even if it is coaching for interview] can make a BIG difference, especially in naija where jobs are not lined up waiting for peeps.

and 100k per month is a big deal - just ask the grads in my neighbourhood who have been sitting at home for over 2 years. not everyone can get oil company job straight up

She Served last year batch B, She no even fine work at all.
Am not crucifying her, just that I think its not fair at all.

yeye4live: U neva se any ting guy, I gave my dying GF both of my kidney 2do her trasplant n wen she recoverd she left me, girls ve half brain If u dnt kno

Haaa!! your own case dey critical o

lasunray: After Helping Her To Find A Job She Boned Me

Hello Nairalanders,
Happy New Month,
I Helped a very close friend of mine to find a good job that pays close to hundred thousand naira, after her first pay she Just stopped calling, texting, keeping in touch as she does before. Its not that she is that busy because she does 2days off and 3days on (Mon to Fri).
I don't need her money; if she gives me any, I will definitely not collect.
I still try to keep in touch but she ain't reciprocating.
She gists me about the work place and other things but if I ask now, she always has nothing to say.

NB: Am still schooling.

How would you feel if you are in my shoes? I want to learn here so you candid advise will be appreciated.

MOVE ON!!!!!!!

for her mind u no be her level again. that a low thinker for u.hahaha

Monjerk: @ Op, I learnt u still planning 2 connect her 2 enter Chevron? Abeg help ur guy, I need job too,lol
Such is life, continue doing good 2 people, don't let her attitude put u off, some people are like that.

if I get Chevron connection, I go quit school my brother.

andyanders:


Listen, try make yourself comfortable and women will look for you. Yes, you have helped her but she must have kick started relationship at her work place, naybe the boss of the place she is working.
Before helping a woman, always try to make sure that you are comfortable because most ladies tend to forget too early when you help them stand. Also understand that someone who don't like you cannot love you out of sympathy. That is to say, because you helped me, let me continue with you. Its not good. Maybe she doesnt want you but needed an assistance from you and you dont have to force yourself on her. First say what you wanted from her was more than what she want from you

My exact thought. but I ve gat no exterior motives

@OP, i feel your pain. I once helped a close friend (female) to do her service year in Abuja cos i was close to Gen Tsiga's daughter. I assisted her without even collecting a dime. Na me even dey spend money sef...She got her callup and did her PA in National War College after which she landed a job in the Nigerian Customs Service thru a friend of mine that was working in her place of primary assignment. All these were courtesy of my efforts. Her salary is within the range of 155k now. But today, this same girl sees me on the road and does not even wave talkless of greeting me. That's how the female gender behaves...they tend to forget. I have learnt my lesson though...I'd rather help my fellow guy than a woman. because of that experience, i had to charge about 80k from a cousin to my collegue in the office who wanted to redeploy from Osun to Abuja. Never assist women without terms and conditions. That way, you have nothing to lose in the end

Nna girl!

Dyt: Ehn ehn
Dats good o
Help me find dat kind of job
I promise I won't bone u
Drop d mail I can send my cv to
Thnx in advance

Nuzo':
A friend of mine was dating this girl who had both bones on her legs fractured in an accident. She was abandoned by her family to the mercy of this guy.
Dude cleaned, wahsed, cooked and fed her for months. He also took care of the hospital bills.

When she got well, he helped her find another job.

To his surprise, the girl stopped picking his calls a month into her new job. The way the girl shuns him became so ridiculous.
Latest news is that the girl is in a serious marriage talks with another dude.

@ op

I feel the girl thinks you may want something more after the help. But at least, she should have waited for you to ask for such before being so cold towards you.

Forget her. She doesn't matter to you.

Whichever way, never grow weary in helping others. Nature has a way of paying back.

Seen these in films but didn't know it could be real

Except she suspects you have a sketchy character,I don't see the reason why she is ignoring you.Besides why is it so important to you to the extent that you are asking for public help?If you help someone out of free will,you don't need to be the person calling,texting,etc.It shows you are stalking her!!! She is meant to be the caller not you.You have done a good deed by getting her a job,leave her thé hell alone to work for her pay! Abi you won still help her for her shift? Friends with benefit I guess.

You do not really know the true nature of a person until certain situations arise.This your friend has now shown her true colours and there is nothing you can do to change the spots of this leopard.Why bother? Do you want to be deceived again? I advise you stop calling her period and if she does call keep the conversation as short as possible.Let this not stop you from helping others but pay closer attention to your so called friends.

Who da faaq cares!!!Sh*t happens get over it

slim fit :
It's God that got her the job not you! When will Nigerians men start thinking with their head not there dicks.

Mr Man. Helped Her! God Gave Her!!
besides I ve no hidden agenda!!!

slim fit :
It's God that got her the job not you! When will Nigerians men start thinking with their head not there dicks.

Mr Man. I Helped Her! God Gave Her!!
besides I ve no hidden agenda!!!

Op, the good thing about this thread is that you are intelligent and whatever you posted here could be true. Fact, is that women are like that... I had a gf in school whom always wanted money, but I kept on giving one excuse or the other even when I have it. She also have a roommate whom her boyfriend was a church "goer" and he kept praying with her all night and supplying all there needs. Three weeks after they packed into a new apartment, there caretaker took over the the girl and may be my gf as well. I was like..guy you are smart enough, i was happy with myself and took a walk. Whatever that is happening there now, I dont know. That is woman

juliluv: let her be,may be she feels u're becomming a thorn in her flesh,since she said nothing is wrong just allow her. dont even bother calling her again unless u hve another intention ,lolz

by their comments u ll no them. Op re u sure this is not the girl u re referring to, she sounds like her?

lynpetra: Except she suspects you have a sketchy character,I don't see the reason why she is ignoring you.Besides why is it so important to you to the extent that you are asking for public help?If you help someone out of free will,you don't need to be the person calling,texting,etc.It shows you are stalking her!!! She is meant to be the caller not you.You have done a good deed by getting her a job,leave her thé hell alone to work for her pay! Abi you won still help her for her shift? Friends with benefit I guess.

A very typical example of the kind of ladies that MEN SHOULD NEVER ASSIST! SMH

lasunray:

I believe "nobody is busy, Its a matter of priorities"

And it is obvious that you do not fall into the list of her priorities.

lasunray:
My exact thought. but I ve gat no exterior motives

Then why the calling texting etc....look I don't blame her.Men usually take advantage of the women they help! Myself when an helped by someone without any monetary payment,I don't get comfortable when he calls me as of wr are dating.I understand how that lady feels soy advice to you is to let her be because its obvious you are beginning to be a disturbance

Is only God dat will pay u back.don even call her,just ignore her.she will rememba u wen problems come.she thinks dat u r not her level.u gave her d ladder 2 climb up,now dat she is there she pushes it down.let see how she will come down.

@OP, tell us the honest truth, did u ever like her or want her beyond friendship?

Decryptor: @OP, i feel your pain. I once helped a close friend (female) to do her service year in Abuja cos i was close to Gen Tsiga's daughter. I assisted her without even collecting a dime. Na me even dey spend money sef...She got her callup and did her PA in National War College after which she landed a job in the Nigerian Customs Service thru a friend of mine that was working in her place of primary assignment. All these were courtesy of my efforts. Her salary is within the range of 155k now. But today, this same girl sees me on the road and does not even wave talkless of greeting me. That's how the female gender behaves...they tend to forget. I have learnt my lesson though...I'd rather help my fellow guy than a woman. because of that experience, i had to charge about 80k from a cousin to my collegue in the office who wanted to redeploy from Osun to Abuja. Never assist women without terms and conditions. That way, you have nothing to lose in the end

Case Closed! My own na small thing sef