Nduking92: Aro flowey u and my brother(mbaise)brainbox no try for dis one.una suppose giv d children smal,make sure they chop am finish for una face b4 leavin,anyway Innachesta innacosta innabruta all barga mind are not d same.flavour n'abania beg me make i yarn u "fire d go,flowey oku"

make una come oh! Flavour brother nahim be Nduking oh! Come to think of it, all these our celebreties and their relatives, are they not in Nairaland?


As for me, i be TUPAC mama, brother, uncle, friend, sister pekin wey come stay for naija. Or so i tot.

What of you?

Ms_ShaQ: =))•´¨) 
¸.•´ ¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.• =)) нaнaнa...=))•´¨) 
Now I knw y dey say derez a thin line btw sanity nd insanity......flow ur tory go jus dey mk me laff any aw pple around me go dey wonda if all is well! Surely ur writing is superb *thumbs up*

saw ur PM but dont really know how to reply, but this is my email incase u want to contact me xtfranks005@yahoo.com, thanks

Flow wait oo, i wan ask u sumtin So u wan tell me say u fine pass Man wey dey reason, & brainbox? Why e b say na u d woman see, cum say mke u cum sleep wit her. Talk truth, 4una 3wey dey do kponkpon, who fine pass?

Daniel and David got close to their house, stopped abruptly, and yelled, "Man wey dey thief fowl". Man looked at them and smiled. But when they yelled, "Brainbox wey dey thief fowl", Brainbox stood up and chased them. They ran into thier house and locked the door.

I quickly took some chunks of meat from Brainbox's plate of chicken pepper soup.

As i turned to see if Brainbox was coming, i saw him doing something else.


He was "Flatscreening". He was peeping through the window of Mama and Papa Ejima's bathroom, viewing Mama Ejima as she was taking her bath.

The "left" side of my mind told me to go join him, while the "right" side of my mind warned me against going. "go watch free b'lue film na" the left side of my mind suggested, "no go oh, what of if Papa Ejima come back, u know say na by dis time him dey come back" the right side of my mind warned. "shebi if him dey come, u go hear him motor noise, go jor" the left side of my mind told me.

I fought the temptation fiercely. I won the battle

Even though i had a crush on Mama Ejima.

It seemed Brainbox was watching Part 1 and Part 2 of the B'lue film, because he was taking so long. Not knowing the B'lue film he was watching on "flatscreen" would soon turn horror film.


Papa Ejima arrived without his car. And Brother Brainbox was still peeping Mama Ejima.

I felt like shouting, "Brainbox comot there!!!" but everything happened too sudden. Morealso, Papa Ejima was walking very fast. With every step Papa Ejima took, i wept for Brainbox.


"what are u doing standing close to my Bathroom window?" Papa Ejima queried, "eeehnnnn! ehnnn! Na Lizard i dey pursue, ehnnn! ehnn! the Lizard don enter ur bathroom" Brainbox stammered.

Papa Ejima noticed his wife was in the bathroom, he said, "so u are peeping my wife as she is taking her bath ehnnnn?" Papa Ejima grabbed Brainbox's shirt, i could see Papa Ejima's face spelt fury, "ehnnnnn I no look ur wife oh, i close my eye when i dey pursue the Lizard, so i no see anything" Brainbox cried out.


Once a boxer, always a boxer.


Papa Ejima clinged his fist and landed a punch to Brainbox's chest. The punch was as heavy as the punch of Mike Tyson and Evander Hollifield put together.

Brainbox fell to the ground convulsing, with a foamy substance coming out of his mouth.


We all came closer to meet Brainbox shaking like a Jelly fish on the ground. "u don kill am oh" Man said, "na because him dey look ur wife wey dey baf" Snoop said, "na only u get wife wey fine?" Bigie said.

As they were all raining abuses on Papa Ejima, i couldn't find my speech, "so na like dis Brainbox my guy take go? My guy! My man! My nigga! My pardy" I was lost in my tots.

At that moment, Mama Ejima came out with a towel covering her body. She came to meet the u'gly scene.


Tears came running down my cheek for the first time in a long while.

"make we rush am go hospital, where ur motor na?" Man queried Papa Ejima. "my car is with the mechanic, that is why i came home on foot" Papa Ejima replied. Papa Ejima was fidgety, i saw "Fear" written all over him. "since the hospital no far, make i carry am for my shoulder na" Snoop suggested f'oolishly, but i wouldn't blame him, he just wanted to save a dying friend.


"make una put am for my motor, make we carry am go hospital before him go die" Haruna who just drove in offered. They all managed to enter the car except Me and Baba jay. I just couldn't go with them, because my whole body was stiff. I couldn't move.

As Haruna's car zoomed off, i couldn't help but cried. They say; "Big boys don't cry", but not when the Big boy's best friend was about dying.

Wizee: Flow wait oo, i wan ask u sumtin So u wan tell me say u fine pass Man wey dey reason, & brainbox? Why e b say na u d woman see, cum say mke u cum sleep wit her. Talk truth, 4una 3wey dey do kponkpon, who fine pass?

Haba Wizee why u dey yan like dis? Man wey black like "back of pot" nahim u wan compare with me?

If ur sister sees me, she will leave her present boyfriend for me, because am not only fine facially. I am a defination of S E X Y.

Continue jawe

Well done bro,following keenly

brainbox nawaooo,so na like dis u wan take go because of Ukwu sara mbara?anyway mayb na Ife ina eri.Flow my man keep sailing wosky and yaga
yaga bcouz couty couty an shuty shuty
is ur duty.luv u man

flow1759:

Haba Wizee why u dey yan like dis? Man wey black like "back of pot" nahim u wan compare with me?

If ur sister sees me, she will leave her present boyfriend for me, because am not only fine facially. I am a defination of S E X Y.

LOL, so u wan tell me say u be dis camelo abi

Gud post bro. But him go fit tell baba God waitin him eyes see now

Wizee: LOL, so u wan tell me say u be dis camelo abi

camelo no fine na, Flowey fine pass am.

Where this man?

Flow flow cum continue dis flows o

Foxy_Ultimate: Where this man?

Foxy why you no wan update for the detection thread nau? Na waa for you oh!

Flow baba, continue thy good works. You too much!

for ur mind

Baba flow ehn, i've done a careful analysis on all your stories on NL, and arrived at the conclusion that ur "John Thomas" has lost its right to be regarded as "Private Part" but now should be referred to as "Public Tool"

Wizee: for ur mind

or so he tot

Ezeebube2: Baba flow ehn, i've done a careful analysis on all your stories on NL, and arrived at the conclusion that ur "John Thomas" has lost its right to be regarded as "Private Part" but now should be referred to as "Public Tool"

.

why you dey yan like this na, john thomas is my priceless asset

Foxy_Ultimate: Where this man?

foxy i go s'hit for bush,i dey s'hit, if i s'hit finish i go update

Wizee: for ur mind

you think say i dey lie? ask foxy

Ezeebube2: Baba flow ehn, i've done a careful analysis on all your stories on NL, and arrived at the conclusion that ur "John Thomas" has lost its right to be regarded as "Private Part" but now should be referred to as "Public Tool"

Truth

"Flow, i don comot for house oh, i no want make police come arrest me say i dey here when them Kill Brainbox oh" Baba jay said to me as i was lying on the bed. "haba!! Baba jay why u dey yan like dis, Brainbox never die na" I replied, "i don tell u my own, i don comot for house" Baba jay said and left the room.

Like they say; "A friend in need is a friend indeed", i couldn't imagine myself saying what Baba jay said. How could i leave when Brainbox needed me the most? Well, Baba jay lived like an island, he cared about no one but himself, when he was actually living at the mercies of the rest of us.

"if Police like make them come, i ready to go police station because of my guy Brainbox" i tot.

I could even take a bullet for Brainbox, or so i tot.


As i lay on the bed, sleep came and i slept off. I had a horrible dream, "Flow!! Help me, help me!!" Brainbox cried out for help as we were swimming in Otammiri river. I swam so fast combining butterfly stroke and back stroke, still i couldn't get to Brainbox fast enough. The water current was moving fast, and Brainbox was trying his best to swim, but he couldn't because the current was against him, "Brainbox!! try swim na!!" I shouted, "Flow i no sabi swim na" Brainbox cried. The water current was carrying him gradually, gradually, and gone. Brainbox was gone. Otammiri had carried him.

"Brainbox!! Brainbox!! Brainbox!!" i shouted at the top of my voice.


I was brought back to reality from dreamland by the ringing of my phone. I recieved the call from my Mum, she just wanted to know how i fared.

"which kin dream be dis? Me wey no sabi swim, na me com dey wan help Brainbox wey sabi swim, wetin dis dream mean na?" I pondered.

I could suddenly feel that my bladder was full, and about to burst. It was as if i drank the whole water in Otammiri River in my dream.


As i stood up to go ease myself in the toilet, i heard, "Gbaaam!! Gbaaaam! Gbaaaaam!! Open dis door!!" someone was knocking hard on the door, "walahi if u no open dis door ehnnn?" i realized it was Haruna.

"wetin Haruna want na? Abi him wan tell me say Brainbox don die?" the tot of this sent goose pimples all over my body.


I wanted to go ease myself first before i get the door, but as he continued knocking hard, i had no choice but to get the door.


The first thing i saw as i opened the door was a curved dagger.

"u see dis dagger? Nahim i go use kill all of una wey chop my fowl, as una take cut my fowl neck naso i go cut una neck, after i kill una finish i go use una do suya" Haruna threatened with a stony face.

As i saw the glittering dagger coming close to me, i caught instant cold.


Before i knew it, urine had started flowing out of my p''enis. I had peed on my trousers.


"i dey come back for una" Haruna said bringing the dagger close to my stomach, very close. I tot he wanted to stab me, so the speed at which urine gushed out of my p''enis increased, and it gushed as fast as water gushing from a tap.

Haruna left me in a pool of my urine. The whole room was flooded, not with water but with urine.

HahhAhahahha yepa.
Flow don piss for body o.

flow nah wa 4 u oh,u no just get liver at all...see as u piss 4 body cos of dagger,if nah gun unkor??

deesnipes: HahhAhahahha yepa.
Flow don piss for body o.

na bad condition cause am

beycitee: flow nah wa 4 u oh,u no just get liver at all...see as u piss 4 body cos of dagger,if nah gun unkor??

people wey dey talk like u, na them dey fear death pass. Make i form "Superman" for person wey hold dagger abi?

See ehnn, if you talk of HARD man, then i am the real defination? Added to the fact that i was a cultist, was the fact that i was/am a Martial artist. So i have seen it all.

Lolzzz he no easy mehn seen death face 2
Face how come u no poo join am laughing in
Flowey accent or so i tot

Alryt. I jus replied u wt a msg pls check ur mail

frank3.16:


saw ur PM but dont really know how to reply, but this is my email incase u want to contact me xtfranks005@yahoo.com, thanks

Baba flow, dnt mind dem jare, if na dem nko

The next day, Brainbox was discharged from the hospital.

"e get as dis house dey smell since yesterday oh" Man said. "na true talk oh" Snoop added.

"maybe na dat dustbin wey dey outside" I said. "no be dustbin jor, the thing dey smell like piss, abi person piss for our rug?" Man inquired. "maybe na Daniel and David" I said.

At that moment, Bigie came in, "Bigie where tupac na?" Man asked, "him go gym for Tony side" Bigie replied, "ehenn! Make we go gym na, e don tay wey i gym sef" Man said. "who be Tony?" I intentionally asked knowing what would be Man's response, "when we reach there, you go see am" He replied.

"i go follow una go gym oh" Brainbox said. "ehnnn! U wan die? e be like say life no dey sweat you again? U just dey come back from hospital because of blow wey Papa Ejima blow you for chest, u wan com follow us go gym" I said.


I, Man, Bigie and Snoop were off to Tony's place, which was the next compound.

We got to the shanty looking hostel and we walked straight to the backyard, where the gym was.

Tony's gym was equiped with two barbells and four dumb-bells.

We met Tupac alone working out. He wasn't only working out, he "garnished" it with igboh.

My oh my!! How i loved working out and smoking at the same time. It reminded me of a place called "Sokoto". Sokoto was a bush path in the barracks where we gathered every evening to smoke weed. And at the back of Sokoto was a local gym constructed by a member of Sokoto.

I was displaying the stuff i was made of. I was displaying my "gyming skill", when a guy came, "whooooooooo beeeeee this?" I tot he was singing, "Tuuuuuupaaaac, i saaaaaaay whoooo beee this?" He said stamping his foot on the ground, i tot he was dancing.

He wasn't Singing, neither was he dancing. He was a heavy stammerer. And his name was "Toooooony". My bad! Tony.

"na my guy be dis, him name na Flow" Tupac introduced me to Tony. "ooooookay, Flooooooow hoooow far?" Tony said giving me a handshake.

Mehn! Tony was going through Hell as a stammerer. Although, stamping his foot on the floor seemed like he was dancing "Atilogu", he did so to ease the stammering.

Since i was born, i had never seen such a stammerer. His stammering sounded more like rap music. Hard core rap music.

Since we were smoking and at the same time working out, we never saw Time flew.

Darkness came gradually, and soon it was night.

After working out and smoking, what comes to mind? Food! Food! and Food!

It was Baba jay's turn to cook, so we got home to meet a delicious Okro soup.

It was my turn to lie on the floor that night.

That night i called Florence. I had earlier told her on phone that i would give her a mid night call. because it was free. She bought the idea anyways.

I was lying on the floor "Jejely" making my call and using sweat words to woo Florence, when i heard a thundering b''ang on our door. I stood up to see who was the f'ool b''anging at our door at such an unholy hour.

It was no f''ool, it was the Wise ones.

The gentlemen in black.