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|Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by ThugLife1(m): 12:24am On Mar 28, 2008|
1. "I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
2. "The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi."
3. "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
4. "I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now."
5. "A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
6. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
7. "What contemptible scroundrel stole the cork from my lunch?"
8. "I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping."
9. "What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others."
10. "I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."
|Re: Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by ThugLife1(m): 12:25am On Mar 28, 2008|
11. "The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
12. "I don't like people who take drugs, Customs men for example."
13. "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
14. "Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk."
15. "Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold."
16. "Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."
17. "The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV."
18. "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
19. "I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
20. "I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."
|Re: Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by TOYOSI20(f): 7:18am On Mar 28, 2008|
|Re: Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by gilgee(m): 10:08am On Mar 28, 2008|
All hail Thug the Agberu!
|Re: Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by clemcykul(f): 11:22am On Mar 28, 2008|
*goes off to mama kelechi for a bottle of whiskey/gulder*
|Re: Funny Quotes About Drinking & Drugs by gilgee(m): 11:48am On Mar 28, 2008|
**Flies inside her handbag. I no wan miss mama kelechi isi ewu**
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