The stats of women and ladies who have been abused keep growing. This abuse usually takes the shape of battery and sexual assault. When it involves a husband and his wife,you find husbands pointing fingers at the woman as being the source of provocation. Other times,the wife accuses her husband of beating her up with little or no provocation. Violence and abuse against ladies transcends married women,girls are also involved. Tradition and religious bodies seem to lend little or no voice to curbing this situation. What is the way out?

I prefer the term "Violence against Persons", not only women are abused, men are physically abused too, children are abued, House helps are abused, its a culture of violence that needs to stop not just violence against women.
Our quest to belittle, mal treat and dimish others is mind blowing. We insult at the slightest provacation and get violent with others at the slightest provacation.
Anyone we have power over we abuse, we need to redefine that culture first. If we are to win the war against violence then we need to stop acts of violence against all people not just women.
Men get their heads broken with bottles, stabbed and burnt by jealous angry wives, children especially househelps and domestic helps are slapped at will.
Verbal abuse is also horrible, while I was away a collegues child committed suicide over harsh verbally abusive words. Words hurt people too and that's abuse.
So when we objectively identify all forms of abuse and acts of violence against vulnerable people we will be closer to a solution.

Abuse knows no gender, age or race, anyone can be abused and anyone can be abusive.

In as much as i would want couples to work out differences in their relationships,i really want to hear from you guys if it involves a man beating his wife.
There's a woman on admission in the hospital where I work with a swollen face from battering by the husband.I don't know what to tell her.

All you can do is talk with her.
Find out what happened, listened and understand her mindset, refer her to project alert, there are trained counselors to speak with her, google the number.
Let her know she has options and she may need to speak with someone who will help them if they are ready work through their issues.
Help her understand that no one deserves violence and there are steps to work on a violence free relationship if both of them are ready to

debrief08: All you can do is talk with her.
Find out what happened, listened and understand her mindset, refer her to project alert, there are trained counselors to speak with her, google the number.
Let her know she has options and she may need to speak with someone who will help them if they are ready work through their issues.
Help her understand that no one deserves violence and there are steps to work on a violence free relationship if both of them are ready to

alright i'll speak with her and refer her to project alert.

@debrief08...welcome back o...being a while. Am a great fan of yours madam!!
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@topic....from a man's point of view...I would categorically state that violence against women is a capital NO for me!
But I will highlight some points which can reduce provocation that leads to battery in homes!!
1..Inability of some women to read moods. A man comes in already looking angry & sad, and the woman decides its the right time to accuse him of some misdemeanour!!
2..A hungry man is an angry man!! Reality, most domestic violence occurs over issues bothering about meals. Maybe the choice of meal...or otherwise!!
3..Lack of good communication skills.!! Sometimes a woman might not have good way of presenting her case before the man. Atimes when a woman speaks authoritatively & saucy in her replies, a man tends to feel challenged. Most men are less verbal and more physical.
These few points are my thoughts
note...am not and never will be in support of battery of women, under any guise.!!!
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Olorun a ma ran wa l'owo o

great063: The stats of women and ladies who have been abused keep growing. This abuse usually takes the shape of battery and sexual assault. When it involves a husband and his wife,you find husbands pointing fingers at the woman as being the source of provocation. Other times,the wife accuses her husband of beating her up with little or no provocation. Violence and abuse against ladies transcends married women,girls are also involved. Tradition and religious bodies seem to lend little or no voice to curbing this situation. What is the way out?

the way out is for everyone to treat others the way one would like to be treated, which is....all of us to sincerely love one another.........when there is genuine love for one another, wives will not provcoke her hubby, husbands will tolerate their wives more, children will be obedient to their parents, parents will not provoke their children, friends will not provoke one another, neighbours will live in peace with one another, masters will treat their househelps with love, househelps will honour their masters accordingly, everybody will be at peace with one another, everybody will be happy with one another, and violence becomes non-existent, peace reigns and no one will have cause to be violent.
May God help us all.

thorpido: In as much as i would want couples to work out differences in their relationships,i really want to hear from you guys if it involves a man beating his wife.
There's a woman on admission in the hospital where I work with a swollen face from battering by the husband.I don't know what to tell her.

From the experience I have garnered,men who beat up their wives started such an act even before they got married. It is pretty difficult for such a man to stop it. Counsel from folks(relations and friends)rarely work if the man has not genuinely seen the need to control his temper,treat his wife properly and follow this thought decisively. To the lady who got abused,in as much as I don't support divorce or separation when couples wrangle. I'll advise her to take out some time,weigh the pros and cons,make every effort to make the marriage work with her husband. If the man is unwilling to change,she should take a leave from the marriage while she still has her life intact. Lastly,like debrief has suggested she should also go for professional counselling.

chaircover:

You missed out Sexx.

A sexually fulfilled man is a pussy cat

just passing o!. . . jeje lo'mo eko mi n'lo

. . .but seriously something has to be done. There is no excuse to batter your wife or anyone for that matter. We are not animals. . .heck even animals dont batter their mates.

Hahaha....truely said....SEX is also a determining factor!!!
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Pele o....omo Eko jeje...ba mi ki Fashola o.....lollz

Happy to see chaircover and debrief back to this section...

@OP...mine is just that divorce should be a thing of last resort oo to things like this. In as much as the woman/ the victim of the abuse is trying to save her life, children from broken homes may become another set of abusers in the future since they lacked some vital parts of either fatherly or motherly care...

Though, I may be wrong...

Shola thank you for the warm welcome.
I disagree a little. Children raised in abusive homes tend to reproduce same results.
A boy will see beating his wife as the answer to disputes and a girl will accept being beaten as the norm.

A girl whose mother jerks the collar of her father and runs him down with bad words will likely do same.
We don't protect children by raising them in a violent unhappy home.
Sadly, I see that we prefer dead spouses or to become murderers than to raise kids as single parents.
The recent happenings where women have now turned crazy stabbing, using acid on cheating spouses and burning them scars me.
To their minds its better to kill their spouses than stay alone or start all over. We have promoted a culture of do or die.
I saw a horrible thread where a lady bathed her boyfriend with acid because he cheated on her, as painful as it is, its just beyond my imagination that instead of leaving and building her life she prefered to be barbaric and end up a prisioner.
I am really getting extremely worried

debrief08: Shola thank you for the warm welcome.
I disagree a little. Children raised in abusive homes tend to reproduce same results.
A boy will see beating his wife as the answer to disputes and a girl will accept being beaten as the norm.

A girl whose mother jerks the collar of her father and runs him down with bad words will likely do same.
We don't protect children by raising them in a violent unhappy home.
Sadly, I see that we prefer dead spouses or to become murderers than to raise kids as single parents.
The recent happenings where women have now turned crazy stabbing, using acid on cheating spouses and burning them scars me.
To their minds its better to kill their spouses than stay alone or start all over. We have promoted a culture of do or die.
I saw a horrible thread where a lady bathed her boyfriend with acid because he cheated on her, as painful as it is, its just beyond my imagination that instead of leaving and building her life she prefered to be barbaric and end up a prisioner.
I am really getting extremely worried

Hmm...you are right sha. Debrief...always on point. By the way, what inspired your username- Debrief? It sounds funny. Anoda one is 'Chaircover'...uhn uhn...Tablecloth ni...lol

Na my friend register the I.d oh, I really don't know what she had in mind