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Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? - Romance - Nairaland

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Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by andrewozed: 7:06pm On Apr 11, 2013
I met this young pretty lady in my church and she is intelligent and everything I want in a woman. I recently asked her to date me which she agreed to and I want to propse for marriage immeditely because I don't want a long relationship. But the problem is she is yoruba and during interraction with my friends they adviced me that I can go ahead if I really love her but I should bear in mind the following issues perculiar to yoruba women:
1. A married yoruba lady will eventually have a younger boyfriend outside marriage.
2. A yoruba married lady that can afford it will purchase properties and build houses without the husband's knowledge or approval.
3. A yoruba married lady doesn't like cooking for her husband or children, they prefer buying food outside for the husband and children to eat and even when they cook their food is usually stew based. Eg yam and stew, amala, ewedu and stew, egusi soup mixed with stew, etc

Please I need your response, are these things true? Because these things are taboo in my state where I come from. I need to be sure she won't keep extra marital affairs after we get married for long, though she is educated.
Constructive comments please
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by kishy53(f): 7:24pm On Apr 11, 2013
Definitely these things are not true, although some may women may behave like that but it is not perculiar to yourba women, this is where individual differences comes in, study her well to knw her charater, then go ahead with ur proposal if you pleased with her. Pls nt all yourba women act the same way.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by repogirl(f): 7:37pm On Apr 11, 2013
Wow, na wa o, all this stereotyping. Being a yOruba girl myself married to an ibo man, if my husband had heard all this one, he would have run o.
I advice you to court for atleast 6 mnths abeg, u might not know everything but some things might stand out. Marriage is however totally different from courtship and it helps if you get to know each other quite well and even your families' so you might have an idea of what you are getting into.

That's all I have for now.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by aadetoyin(f): 7:58pm On Apr 11, 2013
Oga, pls what planet are u from?

U said she will cheat wit a younger man who told u dat its only yoruba women that cheat?
U have been watching too much movies o. Only a woman that doesn't respect herself and doesn't take her marital vows seriously will cheat on her man!

Secondly, u said she will buy properties without the husband knowing, I feel that is a result of insecurity, if she feels her hubby has kids outside and wants her children to have something,then she might do that. Of which I prefer if u buy properties together in ur children's name there's no point hiding ur assets from ur partner. And even some men are guilty of hiding assets.

Finally, u said she wouldn't want to cook? I totally disagree. Only a lazy woman wouldn't want to cook for her family. I grew up in a home that it is forbidden to eat outside neither can u bring take away from parties into my parents house.
I know some people do not cook in their house but its usually those market women that come home so late so u should only be worried if ur wife is a market woman and if she doesn't return on time.

Its a pity u categorized YORUBA women like that sha cos this issues u listed are individual things that people do regardleSs of their tribe.

1 Like

Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by bigt2(m): 8:53pm On Apr 11, 2013
*opens thread and switches to music player....humming Dbanj- Oyato!* all them say, all na fallacy, wetin them talk e no matter @ all, wat God has done no man can destroy......... wink
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Nobody: 8:55pm On Apr 11, 2013
Ignoratio blenchi...fallacy of irrelevant conclusion.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Nobody: 11:35pm On Apr 11, 2013
They aren't true.

Your friends don't know her personally, so don't trust what they say. At the same time, it's a great idea to know someone well first before marrying them. You want to propose for marriage immediately because you don't want a long relationship. This'll be a mistake on your part.
Don't rush into marriage. Get to know each other well first.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by MrCork17: 12:13am On Apr 12, 2013
andrewozed: I met this young pretty lady in my church and she is intelligent and everything I want in a woman. I recently asked her to date me which she agreed to and I want to propse for marriage immeditely because I don't want a long relationship. But the problem is she is yoruba and during interraction with my friends they adviced me that I can go ahead if I really love her but I should bear in mind the following issues perculiar to yoruba women:
1. A married yoruba lady will eventually have a younger boyfriend outside marriage.
2. A yoruba married lady that can afford it will purchase properties and build houses without the husband's knowledge or approval.
3. A yoruba married lady doesn't like cooking for her husband or children, they prefer buying food outside for the husband and children to eat and even when they cook their food is usually stew based. Eg yam and stew, amala, ewedu and stew, egusi soup mixed with stew, etc

Please I need your response, are these things true? Because these things are taboo in my state where I come from. I need to be sure she won't keep extra marital affairs after we get married for long, though she is educated.
Constructive comments please


...big misstake...juss make sure she white or half cast! angry
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Mustay(m): 4:29am On Apr 12, 2013
I usually don't ask such questions but Oga op, how old are you? With such stereotypes, you do need a counsellor. Unfortunately, show me your friends and I will tell which you are seems to be ringing a bell here.

All dis kain thing wey you put up there, na small Pikin talk make I no lie. I no even need to start with any advice.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by SimplYeahmee(m): 5:12am On Apr 12, 2013
What nonsense questions are these?
Your friends advising you, are they married to Yoruba wives?
Whc properly trained yoruba girl will say she prefers fast food to cooking in ha own kitchen?
It is only women who are not enjoying their husbands wud seek for anoda partner outside d marriage
As for that of owning land nd houses without the husband's awareness is solely based on trust, any lady dat can't trust her husband wud do dis nd worse.

Pls nd pls, dnt propose after 2wks of knowing ha. Court her for atleast 6mnths b4 you pop the question. But if you think you can't wait dat long go ahead and propose,
Whatever ur eye see for there na ur own o. No come bck here come complain o.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by andrewozed: 6:13am On Apr 12, 2013
Moderator pls this needs to be in front page so that we can get broader views from more people. Thanks
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by pomporiking: 8:23am On Apr 12, 2013
What rubbish.this is just another jab by the keyboard warriors at yoruba people what a load of nonsense if anyone believes his friends said all that.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by NoQualms1(f): 1:53pm On Apr 12, 2013
repogirl: Wow, na wa o, all this stereotyping. Being a yOruba girl myself married to an ibo man, if my husband had heard all this one, he would have run o.
I advice you to court for atleast 6 mnths abeg, u might not know everything but some things might stand out. Marriage is however totally different from courtship and it helps if you get to know each other quite well and even your families' so you might have an idea of what you are getting into.

That's all I have for now.

Interesting. How have you been coping with his culture, language, foods, etc.

Were you sent to his village after your wedding to learn his culture? I learnt that is the norm.

Thank you.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by sluvy4tune(m): 2:18pm On Apr 12, 2013
Yoruba women are dirty by default
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by sparko1(m): 2:20pm On Apr 12, 2013
Well i can't talk about the others but no 3. Is as true as it can get. I have been in lagos for some time now and i have seen brothers and friend go that road and trust me 'who no go no know'.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by sparko1(m): 2:25pm On Apr 12, 2013
sluvy4tune: Yoruba women are dirty by default
not just women o, even men or should i say guys as well. Where you see a 23 year old guy in the versity using kpoo. grin
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Scarpon(m): 3:33pm On Apr 12, 2013
if she got the quality's then put a ring on it
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by raphroye: 3:51pm On Apr 12, 2013
everybody dey comment nobody dey like am, if ti say na igbo dis yeye guy insult you go see how den go dey like comments....Mtcheeeew
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by repogirl(f): 3:52pm On Apr 12, 2013
No Qualms:

Interesting. How have you been coping with his culture, language, foods, etc.

Were you sent to his village after your wedding to learn his culture? I learnt that is the norm.

Thank you.

I schooled in the east for about 5 years so I learnt a bit. I learnt ibo language a bit, I can understand a little but we speak English to each other and the kids. I did learn a lot of their soups in school, oha and onugbu happen to be my favorite grin and the one I didn't know, I learnt from him. As for culture, I'm learning that as we go along.

I didn't have to spend time with his family, I don't know if they still do that these days but I did meet his family during d courtship and they were really okay.
That's it. BTW, we were friends for a year, courted for four (on and off) and have been happily married for almost four now. It's God's doing sha.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by awesomeme2: 4:34pm On Apr 12, 2013
andrewozed: I met this young pretty lady in my church and she is intelligent and everything I want in a woman. I recently asked her to date me which she agreed to and I want to propse for marriage immeditely because I don't want a long relationship. But the problem is she is yoruba and during interraction with my friends they adviced me that I can go ahead if I really love her but I should bear in mind the following issues perculiar to yoruba women:
1. A married yoruba lady will eventually have a younger boyfriend outside marriage.
2. A yoruba married lady that can afford it will purchase properties and build houses without the husband's knowledge or approval.
3. A yoruba married lady doesn't like cooking for her husband or children, they prefer buying food outside for the husband and children to eat and even when they cook their food is usually stew based. Eg yam and stew, amala, ewedu and stew, egusi soup mixed with stew, etc

Please I need your response, are these things true? Because these things are taboo in my state where I come from. I need to be sure she won't keep extra marital affairs after we get married for long, though she is educated.
Constructive comments please

mtcheeeew....Ask d lady ur many questions na!
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by mike404(m): 4:53pm On Apr 12, 2013
repogirl:

I schooled in the east for about 5 years so I learnt a bit. I learnt ibo language a bit, I can understand a little but we speak English to each other and the kids. I did learn a lot of their soups in school, oha and onugbu happen to be my favorite grin and the one I didn't know, I learnt from him. As for culture, I'm learning that as we go along.

I didn't have to spend time with his family, I don't know if they still do that these days but I did meet his family during d courtship and they were really okay.
That's it. BTW, we were friends for a year, courted for four (on and off) and have been happily married for almost four now. It's God's doing sha.
God bless your union
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by onila(f): 4:58pm On Apr 12, 2013
grin
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Azedplus(m): 5:08pm On Apr 12, 2013
Its quite obvious the reason why your friends are sterotyping you at your age, @ Mr. Cork next time u dont hv to quote an op
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by boron10(m): 5:34pm On Apr 12, 2013
1 may not be true. But 2, and 3 are spot on.

1 Like

Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by NoQualms1(f): 6:58pm On Apr 12, 2013
repogirl:

I schooled in the east for about 5 years so I learnt a bit. I learnt ibo language a bit, I can understand a little but we speak English to each other and the kids. I did learn a lot of their soups in school, oha and onugbu happen to be my favorite grin and the one I didn't know, I learnt from him. As for culture, I'm learning that as we go along.

I didn't have to spend time with his family, I don't know if they still do that these days but I did meet his family during d courtship and they were really okay.
That's it. BTW, we were friends for a year, courted for four (on and off) and have been happily married for almost four now. It's God's doing sha.
Re: Help! Should I Marry My Yoruba Friend? by Suchie(m): 7:39pm On Apr 12, 2013
andrewozed: I met this young pretty lady in my church and she is intelligent and everything I want in a woman. I recently asked her to date me which she agreed to and I want to propse for marriage immeditely because I don't want a long relationship. But the problem is she is yoruba and during interraction with my friends they adviced me that I can go ahead if I really love her but I should bear in mind the following issues perculiar to yoruba women:
1. A married yoruba lady will eventually have a younger boyfriend outside m
2. A yoruba married lady that can afford it will purchase properties and build houses without the husband's knowledge or approval.
3. A yoruba married lady doesn't like cooking for her husband or children, they prefer buying food outside for the husband and children to eat and even when they cook their food is usually stew based. Eg yam and stew, amala, ewedu and stew, egusi soup mixed with stew, etc

Please I need your response, are these things true? Because these things are taboo in my state where I come from. I need to be sure se won't keep extra marital affairs after we get m
arried for long, though she is educated.
Constructive comments please

1 and 3 i dnt knw but 2 is very true have witnessed dat so many times.Choose wisely

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