Idowuogbo:
Sharrap! U Monkey! I buy my own kits...I mean listen to ur m0ronic self, y date a lady if u eventually going to eliminate her due to d no sex rule? U a wot? U a blawwwdy HIM-becile.

wareva

Yomii: Just like what the other person said, it is men't for kids. What is the essense of ultimatum when mutual understanding exist? the reason why two different people can come together, live together and so on is simply because they have what i call mutual understanding. Like he said, ultimatum is for Children and not for real being.

u guys shld stp dis children thing u say... Ultimatum is a diplomatic word nd children dnt evn knw wht it means

vivian chinaza: Good day all.

I just want us to talk about ultimatums in relationships and how we handle them.
Ultimatum is a final, uncompromising demand or set of terms issued by a party to a dispute, the rejection of which may lead to a severance of relationship. This is a strategy used by many of us which can make or mar our relationships.
Often times when we are given ultimatum, it paralyses us, and we fight back for the wrong reasons. Maybe to show that we are in control, to prove that we are not weak, etc.
Personally I believe ultimatum mars a relationship more than it makes it. So many relationship break ups can be attributed to ultimatums, either the we you give or the ones we receive.
I also personally think that if we understand how to handle ultimatums by sharing ideas, it will help us a great deal in our various relationships. This relationship is not restricted to that of man/woman only, no, it cuts across every aspect.

So ladies and gentlemen, how do you handle ultimatums in your various relationships? Do you give ultimatums? If yes, why? Do you think it is the best strategy? Do you fight back when given ultimatum? What impact does fighting/rejecting ultimatum have on your relationship?

Let's live and learn.

Evrybdy is condemin ultimatum completely... Bt dat shldnt b I think. Smtymz in relatnshps, ultimatums cn b used 2 ascertain wht ur partner cn do 4 u. 4 instance, ur woman goes 2 a nyt party, if u tel her 2stp it or lose ur relatnshp, is dat a big deal? If she refuses 2 quit an ordinary party 2kip ur relatnshp, dn dat relatnshp is nt worth existin. Dat is hw positive an utimatum cn b

Ultimatum to happen in a relationship if is meant to pave ways for better things btw the partners involve,some of us are just defining ULTIMATUM n CONDITION with same definition in which they are not.

it is only when there is a breach of 'contractual' agreement that one can talk about Ultimatum.

in r/ships, what you have is love bond and not some forms of contract.

Ultimatum is neccessary,

Its sometimes comes across as selfish, but it can serve a good purpose.

Everyone should understand that its the abuse of any process that makes it evil.

Ultimatums should only be given as a last resort to solving a very serious issue, when it is clear that one partner is being unrealistic and extremely unreasonable.

In most relationships we either give ultimatums to ourselves(silent), or to our partners (vocally). It all depends on the scenario.

Take this scenario, a lady constantly gets abused by the boy friend, after a couple of warnings she might decide to issue an Ultimatum; 'if you touch me again I will leave you' at this point if the guy truly loves her but have anger issues, the ultimatum might serve to help bring him back to reality....and make him seek help. On the other hand if he isn't ready to change, the ultimatum helps the woman escape such battering for ever.

She could also say in her heart 'the next time he hits me I am done' either way she has issued an ultimatum. Now ask yourself which would be better, saying it out loud for the benefit of your partner or making up your mind without giving the benefit of 'possible change'

So let me correct the notion that ultimatum is for kids, it is not, rather those who abuse the process are kids.



To buttress my point further,
Sex is good in a relationship, but the abuse of it destroys any relationship.
A kid says if you love me you will sleep with me,
An adult says because I love you, let's wait till you are emotionally ready, or more preferably 'married'

A matured individual knows that a blackberry, an Iphone, A tablet etc re useful and productive tools,

A kid believes that all these gadgets are symbols of success or social status.

The list goes on....

At the end of the day, its not giving ultimatums that matters, its the reason, and the method of delivery that makes all the difference.

It depends on how u see ultimatum.personaly i dont tink its right but sumtimes necessary. Imagine a gurl/guy keeps doin sum thing wrong repeatedly.for instance, getting drunk every time he or she is cuming 2 ur house,or keeps using a particular fowl language at u always. Wat do yhu do. Ultimatum can sumhow intend to make us. Think bout it

Kingsleyinfo: Ultimatum is neccessary,

Its sometimes comes across as selfish, but it can serve a good purpose.

Everyone should understand that its the abuse of any process that makes it evil.

Ultimatums should only be given as a last resort to solving a very serious issue, when it is clear that one partner is being unrealistic and extremely unreasonable.

In most relationships we either give ultimatums to ourselves(silent), or to our partners (vocally). It all depends on the scenario.

Take this scenario, a lady constantly gets abused by the boy friend, after a couple of warnings she might decide to issue an Ultimatum; 'if you touch me again I will leave you' at this point if the guy truly loves her but have anger issues, the ultimatum might serve to help bring him back to reality....and make him seek help. On the other hand if he isn't ready to change, the ultimatum helps the woman escape such battering for ever.

She could also say in her heart 'the next time he hits me I am done' either way she has issued an ultimatum. Now ask yourself which would be better, saying it out loud for the benefit of your partner or making up your mind without giving the benefit of 'possible change'

So let me correct the notion that ultimatum is for kids, it is not, rather those who abuse the process are kids.



To buttress my point further,
Sex is good in a relationship, but the abuse of it destroys any relationship.
A kid says if you love me you will sleep with me,
An adult says because I love you, let's wait till you are emotionally ready, or more preferably 'married'

A matured individual knows that a blackberry, an Iphone, A tablet etc re useful and productive tools,

A kid believes that all these gadgets are symbols of success or social status.

The list goes on....

At the end of the day, its not giving ultimatums that matters, its the reason, and the method of delivery that makes all the difference.

its a gud one! U ar indeed very right! Ultimatum can b positive and can hav its negativity too,it depends on hw one uses it! It shd b wtout selfish interest of either of them!

Not all ultimatums are bad. People use ultimatums to stabilize their relationships most times, especially when the other party cheats or is not serious with the relationship.

'Ultimatum' on what ground, why and what for would you place moi on such treatment. Anyway, setting ultimatum is no different to setting boundaries btw you both.

Majorly, the guy telling his gurl nt to dare touch his fone likewise d gurl cos of trust ishus. Can I even think of setting boundaries, the ans is NO, would I ever tot of ultimatum in relationship same NO.

The ultimatum u receive @d office is quite diff frm this cos yu kno it wud profit the firm and reduce some burdens off ya neck next time u ask for a brk

mirob: What of if the guy gives you an ultimatum not †̥☹ touch his phone or go through it, how will you feel in that relationship?

altimatum not to touch fone? Duh! I guess u a learner.

Wot α nice thrend!

michealwilliam: Wot α nice thrend!

In my own case,afta ∂ reconcialiatn of α short misundastandin btw ι and my gf...she den gav me an ultimatum dt henceforth ι shdn't touch her fone,access her fb,bear woteva she does 2 me...givin ∂ rson dt pple advices her dt it ws bcus she gav me access 2 al dt made me 2 treat her wrong...wich ws actually nt true!

My questn nw is dt 'shd ι adhere 2 dis or nt'...pls advice

Story one-sided.

Even God gives ultimatums, repent or perish. We give ultimatums all the time, in various ways. lets not lie. We give ultimatums to our kids." If You dont do your assignments no dinner" The only caveats though should be that whatever ultimatums should not jeopadize our marriages!

Vivanc, gone too soon.
Just heard about the demise this evening.
Rest in Peace.

daik: Vivanc, gone too soon.
Just heard about the demise this evening.
Rest in Peace.

What? Pls, what exactly do u mean?

chikk:

What? Pls, what exactly do u mean?

the OP is late.

Yeah, She is late,
Died last year.
So painful.
RIP.......... VIVANC.

RIP Vivian Chinaza. May your soul and the soul of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in perfect peace Amen.

nwababy: RIP Vivian Chinaza. May your soul and the soul of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in perfect peace Amen.

Amen!