[CHocolaTE:
]

Women benefit from marriages, fine. But men benefit more. Up to 80% more than women and I explained this in the OP.
Secondly, I never said all men abuse their wives so I don't know why you brought it up.

Wow! Men benefit more? Seriously? Okay o. Just by the way side, i think the problem we have in this part of the world with respect to marriage is our general perception of it. Marriage here is seen as a means to have children and little emphasis is placed on the companionship aspect or partnership aspect of it. That is why we see a lot of arranged marriages here and there. What about marrying a friend, knowing someone before marrying him/her? No. Many men here also see their wives as possessions, semi maids and breeding machine. This is very WRONG.

^OK, noted.

[CHocolaTE:
]SERIOUSLY? WHY?

Why on earth do you people think that women will keel over and die if they don't get married?
Why do you think women are just dying to get married or get you hooked?

Day after day on Nairaland I see posts by men that talk about how some female celebrity is approaching her 30's and is not married or how some other ladies will never get married because of one reason or another as if these women told you that their lives cannot continue without marriage.

Why on earth do you people think Nigerian women are desperate to get married to you?
See eh, the reason why majority of women seek marriage is because of societal pressure from people that cannot mind their business and because they want to have kids that will not be called bastards so you better understand that fact.

Marriage hardly benefits women (except the very few lucky ones that married considerate men) so why do you think they are dying for it?
Husbands come home from work and expect a hot/good meal which the wife is supposed to have prepared; it is hardly ever the other way round and it is very rare for a woman to come home and meet that her husband has prepared something for her to eat yet this is something men enjoy all the time.
Men just stay by the side and watch while their wives whine in pregnancy pains and face the pains of being pregnant for months; imagine the struggles of getting the kids ready for school while fighting early morning sickness.

She works to assist you and must still submit to your whims because society expects her to, and you still expect sexxual gratification when you come home not considering that she is probably exhausted.
Also, after marriage the husband clearly enjoys his life and freedom more than the woman. he can close from work and 'hang out with the boys' instead of going home and nobody queries him, but his wife can never try such, she goes home straight to take care of children, does the cooking and cleaning and what not. She even has to take a break from work sometimes to pick the kids from school and drop them at home then go back to work before finally returning home at the end of the day to carry house work solely on her head because the majority of Nigerian men are lazy asses that think that helping their wives at home is an abomination.

After all the stress of doing housework on her own and taking care of children on her own she starts to look old and tired and her husband complains that she is now too old and unattractive and without thinking twice, he begins to look outside at younger women because his wife is no longer attractive to him.
The worst part is that the children the women is taking care of, the children that she got so stressed for and losses her beauty after birthing are bearing the man's name. The children bear his name and not hers and yet the men will have the effrontery to say that their wife is no longer attractive after bearing these kids so they want to chase other women.

What do women even gain from marriages for heavens sake?
People expects them give up your identity and start bearing their husbands' name, the kids you spend your life taking care of bear his name and claim his home town when they are asked where they come from, the man is very very likely to cheat on his wife and maybe infect her with some STD or another and he will more likely than not, turn her into his slave by refusing to assist with house work while expecting her to contribute financially to the upkeep of the house.
In fact, if not that religions make childbearing outside marriage a sin and society(mostly men) treat unmarried girls like outcasts, I'm sure many women will not get married, who in their right senses will want to marry an overbearing, unhelpful, slave driving no-good lazy ass; which majority of men are, when they can just have their kids in peace and not have to worry about taking care of him?

All of you can relax, eh kwa?
Women are not in any hurry to become your slaves.
Enough of the marriage this and marriage talk you keep disturbing our ears with.


Lastly, I know that not all married men think that women are on earth to be their slaves, I know that some kind and thoughtful men still exist there so this message does not apply to them.
Kudos to the 2% of Nigerian men that still have respect for women and consider their feelings after marriage.
I salute you.

I didn't read your lengthy post but I think it the other way around. Most women actually think their lives wouldn't go on without marriage!

n.oxide:

I didn't read your lengthy post but I think it the other way around. Most women actually think their lives wouldn't go on without marriage!

Na lie. It's men that like hyping themselves to believe that all women need them to continue existing.

[CHocolaTE:
]

Na lie. It's men that like hyping themselves to believe that all women need them to continue existing.

OK

Interesting thread

I see the news, I hear gists;
This marriage thingy...

My mum has started raising prayer points on my behalf lol
She's like "How will this my daughter be saying marriage is not compulsory" lol
Meanwhile Me I was just joking
But of course, my "joke" stemmed from deep thought on the subject

I'm still looking sha o
In the meantime, I am putting Myself First

First, I'd like to say that i respect everyone's opinion and and that this topic is a serious one and is a major reason why a lot of people, men and women alike live unhappy together
Marriage is the union between a man and a woman to become husband and wife. So what the gay people are doing now isn't marriage - I just wanted to clear the air on that.

I quite frankly believe that if a man truely loves his wife, he won't have issues helping her out at home irrespective of what his family or friends make of it. Helping your wife makes you more of a man and not less, as most men erroneously believe.

The problem starts with us as people not having the right values. Men and women alike make bad choices in marriage. Most guys are stuck on women's physical appearance and think little of anything else and a lot of women are stuck on guys' wealth and good looks. One must really know whom one is marrying. A guy that yells at his girlfriend habitrarily while you are dating is most likely going to be abusive in marriage. Similarly a lady that nags isn't going to automatically stop cos she's gotten married - she gets worse.

The bottom line is there is lack of consideration for one another, in most cases on the part of the man towards the woman; there's superiority complex, again from the man to the woman in most cases; and let us not forget that in most cases people get into marriage for what they can get out of it and not what they can put into it. If a man treats his wife less than a partner simply because he is the primary bread winner, then he lacks wisdom because there have series of instances where the table turned and the woman became the bread winner. Likewise, if a woman mistreats her husband because he lost his job/business and hers is thriving, she lacks wisdom... Men are known to cheat at will, this is wrong, whatever problems you have with your wife that is sexual, stick with her and sort it out as I guarantee that the gains far outweigh the work required. So also it is no news that so many men these days are raising children that are not biologically theirs without their knowledge, this is Ludacris and utmost wickedness. So many things are wrong in marriages these days and they can all be traced to the following:
- cultural differences
- getting married for the wrong reasons
- deceit (e.g. a man presenting himself as wealthy just to marry a woman only for the woman to fine out otherwise after the wedding)
- always comparing one's partner with others
- lack of or inadequate communication
- boredo, m/inactivity
- disrespect for either of the other's family members
- family interference
- lack of finance/mismanagement of funds
- secrets
- improperly managed stress
- impatience in choosing a partner
- lack of trust
- excessive jealousy
- unsatisfied sexual needs of either of the couple
- lack of appreciation
- lack of forgiveness
- insighting children against their father/mother

In all of these, to get a partner that though isn't perfect but would do all in his/her power to make you happy, try and do this: make sure the person you want to marry is going to help you know God, love God, serve God and be with God in eternity.
Any person that would seriously assist his/her partner in achieving the above is sure to be good to go. The other things are minor.

As for the issue of a woman/man willfully deciding not to marry, there's no issue with that. The only challenge is that any such person has to be celibate or otherwise commits fornication - according to Christian teaching and I assume the Muslims teach likewise, but we all know that a lot of people just want to be free to have sex with whomever they so please without consequence. That is that, we are free to choose our own paths.

Look with keen eyes for your partner with prayers and you are sure not to err. Don't overlook warning signs when courting. Discuss everything possible before getting into marriage.

Finally, marriage is the only school where U get your certificate before you begin and it is for life. It is a lot of work and don't give in at the slightest show of trouble. There are pointers to how to spot a genuine man/woman that would truely love you, all you need do is look out for them.

CHoccolaTE:
SERIOUSLY? WHY?

Why on earth do you people think that women will keel over and die if they don't get married?
Why do you think women are just dying to get married or get you hooked?

Day after day on Nairaland I see posts by men that talk about how some female celebrity is approaching her 30's and is not married or how some other ladies will never get married because of one reason or another as if these women told you that their lives cannot continue without marriage.

Why on earth do you people think Nigerian women are desperate to get married to you?
See eh, the reason why majority of women seek marriage is because of societal pressure from people that cannot mind their business and because they want to have kids that will not be called bastards so you better understand that fact.

Marriage hardly benefits women (except the very few lucky ones that married considerate men) so why do you think they are dying for it?
Husbands come home from work and expect a hot/good meal which the wife is supposed to have prepared; it is hardly ever the other way round and it is very rare for a woman to come home and meet that her husband has prepared something for her to eat yet this is something men enjoy all the time.
Men just stay by the side and watch while their wives whine in pregnancy pains and face the pains of being pregnant for months; imagine the struggles of getting the kids ready for school while fighting early morning sickness.

She works to assist you and must still submit to your whims because society expects her to, and you still expect sexxual gratification when you come home not considering that she is probably exhausted.
Also, after marriage the husband clearly enjoys his life and freedom more than the woman. he can close from work and 'hang out with the boys' instead of going home and nobody queries him, but his wife can never try such, she goes home straight to take care of children, does the cooking and cleaning and what not. She even has to take a break from work sometimes to pick the kids from school and drop them at home then go back to work before finally returning home at the end of the day to carry house work solely on her head because the majority of Nigerian men are lazy asses that think that helping their wives at home is an abomination.

After all the stress of doing housework on her own and taking care of children on her own she starts to look old and tired and her husband complains that she is now too old and unattractive and without thinking twice, he begins to look outside at younger women because his wife is no longer attractive to him.
The worst part is that the children the women is taking care of, the children that she got so stressed for and losses her beauty after birthing are bearing the man's name. The children bear his name and not hers and yet the men will have the effrontery to say that their wife is no longer attractive after bearing these kids so they want to chase other women.

What do women even gain from marriages for heavens sake?
People expects them give up your identity and start bearing their husbands' name, the kids you spend your life taking care of bear his name and claim his home town when they are asked where they come from, the man is very very likely to cheat on his wife and maybe infect her with some STD or another and he will more likely than not, turn her into his slave by refusing to assist with house work while expecting her to contribute financially to the upkeep of the house.
In fact, if not that religions make childbearing outside marriage a sin and society(mostly men) treat unmarried girls like outcasts, I'm sure many women will not get married, who in their right senses will want to marry an overbearing, unhelpful, slave driving no-good lazy ass; which majority of men are, when they can just have their kids in peace and not have to worry about taking care of him?

All of you can relax, eh kwa?
Women are not in any hurry to become your slaves.
Enough of the marriage this and marriage talk you keep disturbing our ears with.


Lastly, I know that not all married men think that women are on earth to be their slaves, I know that some kind and thoughtful men still exist there so this message does not apply to them.
Kudos to the 2% of Nigerian men that still have respect for women and consider their feelings after marriage.
I salute you.

The truth of the matter is, society placed alot of burden on women. I thank God that my girls aren't gonna be raised in that environment. Women this and that, the aspect that pains me so much, is the fact that a woman who only bears xx chromosomes will give birth to girls and the same man who bears Xy chromosomes will still crucify her for giving birth to female children. Nigerian men get wahala seriously. This is the aspect that usually blow my head. No doubt that men enjoys the marriage more than women infact. U marry, wahala because u are afraid of not giving birth to only female children because if it happens, that ur husband will quickly go outside and start impregnating anything on skirt. You no marry, that one na war from the societal pressure.

Hmnnn...

Here's the truth.

The woman was created for the Man. And so it's really hard for a woman to live outside this purpose.

Just as a Man was created by God to dominate the earth, it's really hard for a man who is not living within purpose i.e making money and all.

If you dont get married. Can u truly and sincerely still do without a Man at all?

Dont let feminism drive you down a path you will regret. It's what it is. Somethings cant change till the end of time