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Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 4:46pm On Apr 30, 2013
Tpia, the only Nairalander who preaches and curses concurrently.cheesy
Thumbs up o!!

2 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Apr 30, 2013
debrief08: In the same section some are justifying the reasons why a man can sleep with his househelp yet getting high blood pressure and throwing curses on a s3xually frustrated woman sleeping with someone else.
So a man can sleep with a maid because she cooks for him and is there when his wife isn't and a woman whose husband has hurt her and destroyed her mentally can't seek s3xual gratification else where. Lol. Get uses to it oh, this is the reality, man cheats wife cheats more people prefer to pretend than to actually be happy
Enjoy the society we have created with our hypocricy


Even on this thread, there are the ones (at least one guy) that won't entertain this woman if she talks of divorce to regain her sanity and happiness. She should endure, buy a di*ldo blah blah blah. Yet she is the spawn of satan and the husband is angel Gabriel.

2 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 4:52pm On Apr 30, 2013
coogar:

ileobatojo's long-winded missive is filled with hypocrisy.

she cannot judge this woman because if the woman's conscience is right with what she's doing then who is ileoba to judge her? this would have been a good point had ileoba not judged hundreds of men in the past with the same infidelity act. did she check their conscience before judging them?

what peeves me about this section is the bias against the men. when a man misbehaves, nobody tends to blame his partner for it. he's a man and he should shoulder his responsibilities. however, when a woman misbehaves - the accusing finger points straight to her husband. all manners of excuses and conjectures would be thrown in the air. the husband must have done something to make the wife misbehave is just a truckload of bullshyte!



whatever this means has been reconfigured and directed to every human being older than me in your household. i know it's a blessing so consider it a privilege!

You can't be serious.
When a man cheats, LOTS OF PEOPLE will ask where the woman went wrong.
When a woman cheats, she will be stoned to death but first disgraced and disowned, even of her own children.

1 Like

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 4:53pm On Apr 30, 2013
There is this old saying that a Man needs an opportunity to cheat but a woman needs a REASON to.
@OP to attempt to answer your question, it's a no. Not common for married women to cheat but i think it has started happening in this morally corrupt generation.
One thing however that you can be certain of is that no woman married to a "sensible" man will cheat back on him (even if has made a mistake in the past)Married women who cheat are ofetntimes married to reckless men.
The woman in question is cheating back cos it makes her happy and has porobably brought her some sanity she might have lost due to her husband's reckless nature, who im i to castigate her? Something else would probably make another woman happy like a vacation or sort.
To each it's own but i think men should also realise that the world is changing, even married women now faces temptation and are regularly being "hit on" by other guys.
If a man sows fidelity, let him by all means reap same, but no errant guy should start expecting to reap flowers where he sowed banana abeg.

3 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 4:55pm On Apr 30, 2013
coogar:

ileobatojo's long-winded missive is filled with hypocrisy.

she cannot judge this woman because if the woman's conscience is right with what she's doing then who is ileoba to judge her? this would have been a good point ha ileoba not judged hundreds of men in the past with the same infidelity act.

what peeves me about this section is the bias against the men. when a man misbehaves, nobody tends to blame his partner for it. he's a man and he should shoulder his responsibilities. however, when a woman misbehaves - the accusing finger points straight to her husband. all manners of excuses and conjectures would be thrown in the air. the husband must have done something to make the wife misbehave is just a truckload of bullshyte!



whatever this means has be reconfigured and directed to every human being older than me in your household. i know it's a blessing so consider it a privilege!

well maybe she has an history of judging men harshly but we have to judge her based on her post today
I agree with this statement It is not right for society to expect women to be the moral compass while men throw caution to the winds
However the reality is that when women commit adultery the impact is felt much more through out the society hence the seeming unforgiving stance towards the women folk
It still does not justify either gender

1 Like

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by coogar: 4:57pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:

well maybe she has an history of judging men harshly but we have to judge her based on her post today
I agree with this statement It is not right for society to expect women to be the moral compass while men throw caution to the winds
However the reality is that when women commit adultery the impact is felt much more through out the society hence the seeming unforgiving stance towards the women folk
It still does not justify either gender

which is exactly what i have done - she's a fat hypocrite!
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by SisiKill1: 4:58pm On Apr 30, 2013
Hehehehehe....Coogar made a funny!!! cheesy cheesy

Oh women would be so lucky if the bias against them was only on the section of some obscure website, won't they?

I'm laughing at comments about what cheating women will tell their children and blah blah. Yeah, the mother is the ONLY moral compass a child needs, he can watch his father change women like hairstyles and treat his mommma like crap....that's not damaging at all oh because his daddy kukuma has no influence on him (which makes me wonder why they then say stay for the kiddies but that's a story for another day) but his momma going with other men. . .well open the psychiatric wards doors because it's about to rain mentalos!!!!

Lmao!! All sorts I tells ya!

By the way, Ile...1 million thumbs up. kiss kiss kiss

4 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:04pm On Apr 30, 2013
mrs flawless:
If a man sows fidelity, let him by all means reap same, but no errant guy should start expecting to reap flowers where he sowed banana abeg.

God bless you very much for this! It would be good for them if all unrepentant, shameless, disrespectful, serial cheaters like the man in the story if they end up with wives just like this woman!

1 Like

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:04pm On Apr 30, 2013
Sisi_Kill: Hehehehehe....Coogar made a funny!!! cheesy cheesy

Oh women would be so lucky if the bias against them was only on the section of some obscure website, won't they?

I'm laughing at comments about what cheating women will tell their children and blah blah. Yeah, the mother is the ONLY moral compass a child needs, he can watch his father change women like hairstyles and treat his mommma like crap....that's not damaging at all oh because his daddy kukuma has no influence on him (which makes me wonder why they then say stay for the kiddies but that's a story for another day) but his momma going with other men. . .[b]well open the psychiatric wards doors because it's about to rain mentalo[/b]s!!!!

Lmao!! All sorts I tells ya!

By the way, Ile...1 million thumbs up. kiss kiss kiss

Yep you got that ^^ right undecided
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:05pm On Apr 30, 2013
ileobatojo:

God bless you very much for this! It would be good for them if all unrepentant, shameless, disrespectful, serial cheaters like the man in the story if they end up with wives just like this woman!

Amin Ashe
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:08pm On Apr 30, 2013
coogar:

which is exactly what i have done - she's a fat hypocrite!

well...

If a man sows fidelity, let him by all means reap same, but no errant guy should start expecting to reap flowers where he sowed banana abeg

it does not always work like that though women will like it for thunder and brimstone to fall
i know a guy that took his wife in after she messed up maybe due to the kids... but he is an exception
will i do same.. i dont know

Do i expect my wife to leave me if i transgress.. she may she may not
God knows but i dont want to try it

I have a question for the women in the house

Are these sins the same to yo, rate in order of 'worst-ness'
1. A man has a fling once
2. A man has a steady mistress and does not neglect his home duties
3. A serial philanderer like the man in the post

Will you throw away your marriage because of these
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by coogar: 5:09pm On Apr 30, 2013
Sisi_Kill: Hehehehehe....Coogar made a funny!!! cheesy cheesy

Oh women would be so lucky if the bias against them was only on the section of some obscure website, won't they?

I'm laughing at comments about what cheating women will tell their children and blah blah. Yeah, the mother is the ONLY moral compass a child needs, he can watch his father change women like hairstyles and treat his mommma like crap....that's not damaging at all oh because his daddy kukuma has no influence on him (which makes me wonder why they then say stay for the kiddies but that's a story for another day) but his momma going with other men. . .well open the psychiatric wards doors because it's about to rain mentalos!!!!

Lmao!! All sorts I tells ya!
By the way, Ile...1 million thumbs up. kiss kiss kiss

hahahaha
sisikill, but it's not the same. let's look at the extremes of infidelity in both cases. the worst that can happen to the man is knocking one of his girlfriends up and having a baby out of wedlock. in the woman's case - if she gets pregnant from one of her lovers, she would name her husband as the father of the bastärd!

i ask again - are the 2 cases the same?
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:12pm On Apr 30, 2013
coogar:

hahahaha
sisikill, but it's not the same. let's look at the extremes of infidelity in both cases. the worst that can happen to the man is knocking one of his girlfriends up and having a baby out of wedlock. in the woman's case - if she gets pregnant from one of her lovers, she would name her husband as the father of the bastärd!

i ask again - are the 2 cases the same?

i get why some men wil do DNA test for their kids
They DOnt wanna raise no others man's kid

I aint that baby's daddy.. sometimes i sit and wonder how can i father another man's son- wyclef
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by coogar: 5:21pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:
i get why some men wil do DNA test for their kids
They DOnt wanna raise no others man's kid

I aint that baby's daddy.. sometimes i sit and wonder how can i father another man's son- wyclef

absolutely.....
as long as a man cannot bring his love child home and claim it's his wifey's biological child then infidelity in men and women are not and can never be the same thing.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 5:22pm On Apr 30, 2013
I thought this thread was about cheating in retaliation in which case both husband and wife don't mind each others excapades anymore not analysing and debating worse case scenarios infidelity can birth.

However,a man who sires a bastard outside the home and the woman who brings a bastard home to her husband are the same IMO.None is worse than the other.It makes no sense to compartmentalize.

2 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:24pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:


I have a question for the women in the house

Are these sins the same to yo, rate in order of 'worst-ness'
1. A man has a fling once
2. A man has a steady mistress and does not neglect his home duties
3. A serial philanderer like the man in the post



3, 2, 1. 3 leads 2 only by a whisker.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:29pm On Apr 30, 2013
ileobatojo:

God bless you very much for this! It would be good for them if all unrepentant, shameless, disrespectful, serial cheaters like the man in the story if they end up with wives just like this woman!


Amen jare. I might not have the liver to cheat back on an unfaithful spouse but honestly, my kudos to those who can do it and not not feel guilty about it. What is good for the goose.......
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:33pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem: I thought this thread was about cheating in retaliation in which case both husband and wife don't mind each others excapades anymore not analysing and debating worse case scenarios infidelity can birth.

However,a man who sires a bastard outside the home and the woman who brings a bastard home to her husband are the same IMO.None is worse than the other.It makes no sense to compartmentalize.

slimyem.


my bastard is MY BASTARD.. my wifes bastard is another MAN's seed
To a woman,,, they may come from the same place but mehnnnnnn.. they are different
two different things.. dont ever compare

ileobatojo:


3, 2, 1. 3 leads 2 only by a whisker.

thanks.. 3 leads 2 interesting
But is 2 enough for a woman to end her marriage.. Ladies over to you
Cos what i am hearing is that a man in scenario 2 should divorce his wife to have his mistress
What if he loves his wife and remembers theyve been through a lot together

In old age. physicality is not an issue but rather companionship
David had Abishag to warm his bed but his soulmate was bathsheba


1 Kings 1
Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat.

2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat.

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 5:35pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:
I have a question for the women in the house

Are these sins the same to yo, rate in order of 'worst-ness'
1. A man has a fling once
2. A man has a steady mistress and does not neglect his home duties
3. A serial philanderer like the man in the post

Will you throw away your marriage because of these
Its all infidelity.Only number 1 is forgivable if there's true remorse and a "promise" it won't happen again.
2 and 3 are in the same category and as per the question....lipsrsealed

What is "throwing your marriage away"? Opting for this woman's choice or walking away?

1 Like

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by coogar: 5:38pm On Apr 30, 2013
mrs flawless:
Amen jare. I might not have the liver to cheat back on an unfaithful spouse but honestly, my kudos to those who can do it and not not feel guilty about it. What is good for the goose.......

those who can do it are sluts - period!
these people deserve each other - a morally-bankrupt man and a cheap slut in a holy matrimony.....
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:40pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem: Its all infidelity.Only number 1 is forgivable if there's true remorse and a "promise" it won't happen again.
2 and 3 are in the same category and as per the question....lipsrsealed

What is "throwing your marriage away"? Opting for this woman's choice or walking away?

throwing your marriage away is what it is,.. seperation or divorce
so if your pouse committed 2 or 3, you would walk out of the union?



Second question

What if he loves his wife and remembers theyve been through a lot together and wants to stay for the friendship, kids etc

In old age. physicality is not an issue but rather companionship
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 5:44pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:

slimyem.


my bastard is MY BASTARD.. my wifes bastard is another MAN's seed
To a woman,,, they may come from the same place but mehnnnnnn.. they are different
two different things.. dont ever compare

Your opinion bro.
If i were to judge,i'd judge both equally.
Pity the woman who doesn't deserve that her husband cheats on her and sires kids outside.
Pity the man who doesn't deserve it but gets to raise a bastard anyways.
The same way its not fair to the woman is the same way its not fair to the man.Its a crazy world.
End of!
Back to topic.cool

2 Likes

Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:51pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem: Your opinion bro.
If i were to judge,i'd judge both equally.
Pity the woman who doesn't deserve that her husband cheats on her and sires kids outside.
Pity the man who doesn't deserve it but gets to raise a bastard anyways.
The same way its not fair to the woman is the same way its not fair to the man.Its a crazy world.
End of!
Back to topic.cool

you'd judge equally because you are a woman and to you they are all your children. fair enough
To a man they are not the same

you may be thinking of fairness and equity but they are not the same


Back to topic cool

It has been from time immemorial..

For fans of Games of Thrones, Cercei Lannister killed King Robert's Barrathian bastards as they had more royal blood than Geoffrey Barathion who is a product of incest
all are bastards but some are more equal than others
LOL
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 5:51pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:

throwing your marriage away is what it is,.. seperation or divorce
so if your pouse committed 2 or 3, you would walk out of the union?
probably.

Second question

What if he loves his wife and remembers theyve been through a lot together and wants to stay for the friendship, kids etc
....and also wants to keep doing his offside runs?
Is that what you are saying?

In old age. physicality is not an issue but rather companionship


true.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 5:53pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem:
....and also wants to keep doing his offside runs?
Is that what you are saying? true.

good response.... that means infidelity to a woman's mind translates to the fact that the man hates her
interesting...
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by Nobody: 5:54pm On Apr 30, 2013
Biola,

Once a cheater always a cheater, a stray cat that already tasted the neighbour's food will definitely try it again.
No matter how you pamper/baby/care for a useless man, he will still go back into the gutter be belongs.

It's now up to the woman to know how to fill that void and deal with it undecided

It takes great courage , respect and self discipline for a good man to dedicate his life / commitment to his family and that's why a long term courtship is very important before marriage.

I don't believe in one time cheater, and that goes to all my friends circle .

The horrendous behaviour of some men are mind boggling undecided like cc always say you can get all the goodies in a marriage as a single fella as long as you're loaded.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 6:00pm On Apr 30, 2013
jidegirl12: Biola,

Once a cheater always a cheater, a stray cat that already tasted the neighbour's food will definitely try it again.
No matter how you pamper/baby/care for a useless man, he will still go back into the gutter be belongs.

It's now up to the woman to know how to fill that void and deal with it undecided

It takes great courage , respect and self discipline for a good man to dedicate his life / commitment to his family and that's why a long term courtship is very important before marriage.

I don't believe in one time cheater, and that goes to all my friends circle .

The horrendous behaviour of some men are mind boggling undecided like cc always say you can get all the goodies in a marriage as a single fella as long as you're loaded.

Another interesting comment.. so if in an alternate universe
You would walk of the union.. yes?

Also what other xteristics would you term these useless men.. stealing from their wives, drugs, alcohol etc

will men who are like three baby daddies be useless or will they be useful since they are not married to any of their baby mamas.. (akata men)
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 6:01pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:

you'd judge equally because you are a woman and to you they are all your children. fair enough

To a man they are not the same
...because they are HIS BASTARD(S) too or ain't that right? cheesy
you may be thinking of fairness and equity but they are not the same
keep rationalizing right and wrong cool


For fans of Games of Thrones, Cercei Lannister killed King Robert's Barrathian bastards as they had more royal blood than Geoffrey Barathion who is a product of incest
all are bastards but some are more equal than others
LOL


Watching GOT too but haven't seen this part.don't spoil the suspense for me.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by slimyem: 6:05pm On Apr 30, 2013
biolabee:

good response.... that means infidelity to a woman's mind translates to the fact that the man hates her
interesting...

Nope.It translates to the fact that he has no respect for her and/or for his family.
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 6:05pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem: rationalising...

Sorry .. thought u were on the GOT thread and thus on Season 3
I am waiting for all of season 3 before i watch once and for all.. i am on vampire diaries now

back to topic

only a rare man would raise another child as his, moreso if he knows
if he does not know and finds out late in life, it is a rarer man that will continue raising that child

we all agree.. society seems the same thing through different lens
one is a minor trespass and the other is a violation or taboo...

id like to know how women see it hence my questions..
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by biolabee(m): 6:06pm On Apr 30, 2013
slimyem: Nope.It translates to the fact that he has no respect for her and/or for his family.

Thanks.. this disrespect as you term it.
is it enough to end the union...
Re: Is This Common Amongst Nigerian Married Women? by mawuqueyan(f): 6:13pm On Apr 30, 2013
Never jugde a man until you av walked a mile in his shoes...
Father Ȋ̝̊̅§ a dog already, now mother Ȋ̝̊̅§ turning †̥☺ a bitch (sorry †̥☺ say) what example Ȋ̝̊̅§ she setting for her kids
God help them.

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