In A ¤confused State¤ Plz I Need Advice

When i was little,i was a victim of sexual harrasment by both my uncle and my cousin..dis made me hate men so much and i
avoided relationships for a lng time..Now i fell in love with a very special man and i want be with him forever..but weneva we about to get intimate,scary images from d past just invade my thoughts which makes so scared of doing anything with.,most tyms he understands,but I feel bad 4 havin 2 do dis to him..i love him so so much..pls i need ur advice..thanks!!!

go for some therapy...
or google some info on how to overcome such thought..i hav a friend who went throught such, and worse...but she came thru...now she bleeps like hell
sorry for your pains tho

this must be so hard for you. i reall sympathise. Pray about it and give it to God. You're gonna have to let go of it little by little and its not going to be easy. Part of letting go is talking about it - to parents, family, friends and even confronting the uncle and cousin. Also get some therapy or medical help of some sort. You cant let the evil people who did this to you continue ruining your life till now. They cant win. Good luck.

I couldn't have said it better. Very good comments already. Need i say more?

Thanks alot people i really appreciate ur help Thanks alot people i really appreciate ur help

its22078: this must be so hard for you. i reall sympathise. Pray about it and give it to God. You're gonna have to let go of it little by little and its not going to be easy. Part of letting go is talking about it - to parents, family, friends and even confronting the uncle and cousin. Also get some therapy or medical help of some sort. You cant let the evil people who did this to you continue ruining your life till now. They cant win. Good luck.

OP, read this comment over and over again.
I relate with your state, and i understand (to an extent). It's not going to be easy but i need you to be determined and never give up.

Let the tears flow. Talk about it. Those times you hold your pillow tight and cry your eyes out...it's all going to be history soon.

Have fun and do things that'll make you laugh. I pray God will strengthen you and hold your hands as you come out of your shell.

maka why not!

My ppl said, "once bitten by snake runs before a lizard head"

then again, "if there's no solution for something, there's something for solution"

See a shrink

Caracta:
OP, read this comment over and over again.
I relate with your state, and i understand (to an extent). It's not going to be easy but i need you to be determined and never give up.

Let the tears flow. Talk about it. Those times you hold your pillow tight and cry your eyes out...it's all going to be history soon.

Have fun and do things that'll make you laugh. I pray God will strengthen you and hold your hands as you come out of your shell.

Thanks alot.i wil do my best

Mynd_44: See a shrink

Watz a 'shrink'?? :/

yes i also think you should see a pyschologist ( thats a shrink)

I think a therapy will help in a situation like this.

pHUCCCK!!!!

emmy nisaj:
Watz a 'shrink'?? :/

We should always consult google. Btw, thought it was supposed to be done after marriage. Except you trying to bend rules. Lol

Sorry for your troubles girl. You need help from a psychologist

FrontPageLawyer:

We should always consult google. Btw, thought it was supposed to be done after marriage. Except you trying bend rules. Lol

Sorry for your troubles girl. You need help from a psychologist

What if after marriage and the same problem persists? If you 're in her husband's shoes, will that be funny to you?

hmm.......a portion of Mazi Omenuko's PPA- place of promiscuous assignment- might help. But make sure u dont read dt thing too much o 4 u may go so gaga dt u might even scare off other other male mammals...
Premarital sex no good o!!!

emmy nisaj: In A ¤confused State¤ Plz I Need Advice

When i was little,i was a victim of sexual harrasment by both my uncle and my cousin..dis made me hate men so much and i
avoided relationships for a lng time..Now i fell in love with a very special man and i want be with him forever..but weneva we about to get intimate,scary images from d past just invade my thoughts which makes so scared of doing anything with.,most tyms he understands,but I feel bad 4 havin 2 do dis to him..i love him so so much..pls i need ur advice..thanks!!!

just follow your heart and dont ever decieved your self again

emmy nisaj: In A ¤confused State¤ Plz I Need Advice

When i was little,i was a victim of sexual harrasment by both my uncle and my cousin..dis made me hate men so much and i
avoided relationships for a lng time..Now i fell in love with a very special man and i want be with him forever..but weneva we about to get intimate,scary images from d past just invade my thoughts which makes so scared of doing anything with.,most tyms he understands,but I feel bad 4 havin 2 do dis to him..i love him so so much..pls i need ur advice..thanks!!!

What you're experiencing is sadly normal. If there is adequate therapy in your area i would go, and if it's beyond your area it's worth the journey because this issue can hold back your life.

I'm sorry that you suffered through what you've suffered. You're traumatized and haven't had the ability and help to deal with it in the proper way and until then the trauma will remain. The most important thing to do in my opinion is to remember

rape isn't sex.
what your boyfriend is trying to do with you may look similar to what your uncles/cousin did, but rape is an attack...it's more similar to beating someone mercilessly than having sex. Sex is a natural, normal and intimate thing you share with someone you love. It's very fun and innocent, it has nothing to do with what happened to you before. Your boyfriend is not your uncle, and you're with someone you cherish and KNOW will never do something like that to you because he loves you as well. I have to start realizing the differences between your uncle/cousin and boyfriend and most importantly the differences between rape and sex. Plantains and Bananas are said to look similar but are not the same at all (no pun intended)


ps: Be PATIENT with yourself! it's going to take you a long time to come to terms with your past, and it's going to be a long and grueling battle but if you're willing to take it on no matter how difficult it is, you will prevail!

₱®ÌИСΞ:
go for some therapy...
or google some info on how to overcome such thought..i hav a friend who went throught such, and worse...but she came thru... now she bleeps like hell
sorry for your pains tho

That's scary.

nbright: That's scary.

Imagine that Bleep like hell

emmy nisaj:
Watz a 'shrink'?? :/

a shrink is a device used to squezze things.

But I hv been told by someone that she has become addicted to sex cus of this same experience. Can someone separate the difference or substantiate any?

Your past is your past and should be in the past.
You dwelling on your past clearly shows you are not willing to live in
the present. (Remember, today is a gift that is why it is called - the present).
My advice:
Forget about your past - and I mean it seriously.
Learn to trust the one you love so that you will not end up driving him away.
Men process information differently from women.
I have been with friends who had girlfriends in similar position.
Some saw her as someone will be very unstable as a future wife
while other guys never knew their girlfriends had such troubling past
until later when she revealed it, but she never showed it or even gave a hint.
(That is clearly a woman who is focused and willing to live in the present and face the future)
Sorry I might sound harsh but its your life n future n happiness that we are talking about,
Don't ruin it.

Freiburger:
What if after narriage and the same problem persists? If you 're in her husband's shoes, will that be funny to you?

Where did i err? Just saying what a preacher would have told her, though m not a fan of sex before marriage

Do not be deceived: neither fornicators...will inherit the kingdom of God

1 Corinthians 6:9

U need therapy.