SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Lovers help each other UnCloth before
s(e)x.
However after s(e)x, they always dress
on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps
you once you're scre:wed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends
touch the stomach and say,
"Congrats."
But, none of them touch the man's
p(eni)s and say, "Good job."
Moral of the story: Quality work is
never appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but
it's more comfortable to cry in a
Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember
the *******'s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in
trouble, they will remember you when
they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because
it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any
problems, but then neither does milk.
Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe
s(e)x. A friend of mine was wearing one,
when he was shot by the woman's
husband.

#justathought#
Even if women came with instructions,
men still wouldn't read them..

Nice piece.
But why post it in the joke section this are true facts of life bro!!

A professor stood before his
philosophy class and had some items
in front of him. When the class began,
he wordlessly picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and
proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He
then asked the students if the jar was
full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of
pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles
rolled into the open areas between the
golf balls. He then asked the students
again if the jar was full. They agreed it
was.
The professor next picked up a box of
sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything
else. He asked once more if the jar was
full.. The students responded with a
unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two
Beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar
effectively filling the empty space
between the sand.The students
laughed..
‘Now,’ said the professor as the
laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your
life. The golf balls are the important
things—-your family, your children,
your health, your friends and your
favorite passions—-and if everything
else was lost and only they remained,
your life would still be full. The pebbles
are the other things that matter like
your job, your house and your car..
The sand is everything else—-the small
stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he
continued, ‘there is no room for the
pebbles or the golf balls. The same
goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy
on the small stuff you will never have
room for the things that are important
to you.
Pay attention to the things that are
critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children. Spend
time with your parents. Visit your
grandparents. Take your spouse out to
dinner. Play another 18. There will
always be time to clean the house and
mow the lawn. Take care of the golf
balls first—-the things that really
matter. Set your priorities. The rest is
just sand.
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the Beer
represented. The professor smiled and
said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just
shows you that no matter how full
your life may seem, there’s always
room for a couple of beers with a
friend.

An atheist was seated next to a little
girl on an airplane and he turned to
her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow
passenger."
The little girl, who had just started
to read her book, replied to the
total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
" Oh, I don't know," said the
atheist. "How about why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be
interesting topics but let me ask you a
question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow
turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the
little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do
you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.