I see there is an Ashi in the building.

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

Babe, u strong, u mature, u get mind. Let him without sin cast a stone. I'l advice u kip praying n have a change of friends, try avoid situations or friends that sold d idea of looking out(no beefing; safety first, safety always: all man for himself). Stay closer to ur guy. Jst keep trying as those wu gave dia best never regreted it. Sin no more.

igbo_barbie: I see there is an Ashi in the building.

My dear, na so me i see ooooo.
no be today nyash de for back, eee don tey

Since we are all in the confession mood and not the stoning phase I have something to say, that I have said before and will say it again here:

The best s3x I had was with a horse!

@ OP
Dont post any more comment here,just go back to the first page,read,read and read again,Ogugua's posts and come clean with your so-called boo who has been the victim of your indiscretion,lift the burden from your chest and be responsible

Clitorial.Dept.:
Since we are all in the confession mood and not the stoning phase I have something to say, that I have said before and will say it again here:

The best s3x I had was with a horse!

No surprises, we won't stone you, we would just re-decorate the barn, so you can enjoy the sex the more

Gosh!!! Why I stopped visiting this section and other social networks frequently so as to stop reading about all these infidelity on the part of women as it seems to be escalating daily. The stories I've been reading have been affecting me somehow and making me see almost every girl as a potential cheat. Today that I mistakenly stumbled on this section again,what stares me in the face is a thread on infidelity. I'm not the one you cheated on but I know how I'm feeling and just feel for the dude you're hurting. And I guess you're one of the many chicks I'd meet in public and possibly start liking... What's your excuse for cheating if I may ask? If your guy had done this to you,I'm sure all hell would have been let loose. Now that you're the culprit,you're tryna advice people to lower their views on infidelity to a level that you're comfortable with... I guess you want all of us to go and cheat too so we can understand your predicament and not judge because we've done it. You're like a bad student who has failed and you're giving excuses why you failed. The bible says "judge not that ye may not be judged" but you judged others before. Now that it's your turn,you're trying to soften things... Let me tell you what people with dignity do. They judge themselves with the same standard/measure they use for others,accept responsibility,take the insults that follows,tender unreserved apologies and learn from it. If truly you got any discipline and dignity in you,what you ought to do is report yourself to your man and ask for forgiveness. If he accepts,fine. If not,see it as the price you have to pay for being irresponsible. But telling him you need space when he has done you no wrong,is deciet. You're not being sincere and that not fair.

chronique: Gosh!!! Why I stopped visiting this section and other social networks frequently so as to stop reading about all these infidelity on the part of women as it seems to be escalating daily. The stories I've been reading have been affecting me somehow and making me see almost every girl as a potential cheat. Today that I mistakenly stumbled on this section again,what stares me in the face is a thread on infidelity. I'm not the one you cheated on but I know how I'm feeling and just feel for the dude you're hurting. And I guess you're one of the many chicks I'd meet in public and possibly start liking... What's your excuse for cheating if I may ask? If your guy had done this to you,I'm sure all hell would have been let loose. Now that you're the culprit,you're tryna advice people to lower their views on infidelity to a level that you're comfortable with... I guess you want all of us to go and cheat too so we can understand your predicament and not judge because we've done it. You're like a bad student who has failed and you're giving excuses why you failed. The bible says "judge not that ye may not be judged" but you judged others before. Now that it's your turn,you're trying to soften things... Let me tell you what people with dignity do. They judge themselves with the same standard/measure they use for others,accept responsibility,take the insults that follows,tender unreserved apologies and learn from it. If truly you got any discipline and dignity in you,what you ought to do is report yourself to your man and ask for forgiveness. If he accepts,fine. If not,see it as the price you have to pay for being irresponsible. But telling him you need space when he has done you no wrong,is deciet. You're not being sincere and that not fair.

A THOUSAND LIKES,BRO

It has happened already so all this is medicine after death but I must say it. You didn't do well at all. You knew the signs, saw them and thought you were strong enough. You relied on your own strength thinking you were on top meanwhile the more experienced predator is laughing inwardly knowing his plans are working. To ladies, there is a high potential of the grass being greener on the other side.

Go forth and sin no more. I do not believe in making peace with people by telling them how I have wronged them. It would cause too much trouble.

chronique: Gosh!!! Why I stopped visiting this section and other social networks frequently so as to stop reading about all these infidelity on the part of women as it seems to be escalating daily. The stories I've been reading have been affecting me somehow and making me see almost every girl as a potential cheat. Today that I mistakenly stumbled on this section again,what stares me in the face is a thread on infidelity. I'm not the one you cheated on but I know how I'm feeling and just feel for the dude you're hurting. And I guess you're one of the many chicks I'd meet in public and possibly start liking... What's your excuse for cheating if I may ask? If your guy had done this to you,I'm sure all hell would have been let loose. Now that you're the culprit,you're tryna advice people to lower their views on infidelity to a level that you're comfortable with... I guess you want all of us to go and cheat too so we can understand your predicament and not judge because we've done it. You're like a bad student who has failed and you're giving excuses why you failed. The bible says "judge not that ye may not be judged" but you judged others before. Now that it's your turn,you're trying to soften things... Let me tell you what people with dignity do. They judge themselves with the same standard/measure they use for others,accept responsibility,take the insults that follows,tender unreserved apologies and learn from it. If truly you got any discipline and dignity in you,what you ought to do is report yourself to your man and ask for forgiveness. If he accepts,fine. If not,see it as the price you have to pay for being irresponsible. But telling him you need space when he has done you no wrong,is deciet. You're not being sincere and that not fair.

Same here. Too much infidelity.

You already have two devils to handle here, one is your so called boy friend who enjoyed you free of charge without the knowledge of your parents, and the married man who also enjoy you based on his pocket, am sure of this, remenber any man and or woman, if married or not will one day became another man and woman partner, So don't deceive yourself that you are cheating on anyone, you are only cheating on yourself, how are you so sure that the so called boyfriend will ever marry you,The best best will be for you to stay out of trouble and wait on MR right, if you can't, continue on your trade but be extreme carefully, whatever one sow that he reaps, all sins has their punishment,no amount of repentance will exempt you from that................. Watch your back

ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break.

As far as I'm concerned, cheating is one of the worst forms of disrespect to a partner or spouse, and people who cheat are discontented and highly undisciplined human beings. There is such a thing as self-control. In your case, it's not that you lost control, but that you know what's right and wrong and have chosen to do wrong on more than one occasion. You are giving yourself to another woman's husband. What does marriage even mean to you, if anything at all? I'm assuming you want to get married one day. Isn't marriage a sacred union that people are supposed to hold at high regard? If you're disrespecting and desecrating another woman's union, what makes you think yours should even be average, let alone sweet?

How on earth could you even take a break with your boyfriend? If you loved him at all, you wouldn't even consider leaving him for another woman's husband. You told him you need a break as if you're the one that's being hurt. Add the word "selfish" along with discontented and highly undisciplined please.

You are not just wrong, but double wrong. If you have any ounce of morality left in you, come clean with your boyfriend and let him go. I wonder what he's done to deserve having an adulterer as a girlfriend.

And we wonder why STDs are rampant. Shey na 2013? Smh.[/size]

Guy, it is obvious that u did not read the purpose of the thread, which is to warn ppl(both guys and gals) that dont want to cheat that they should be careful. She is not endorsing cheating, she is just saying that[b]IF YOU DON'T CHECK UR EMOTIONS PROPERLY, U MAY CHEAT EVEN IF U FEEL THAT U CAN'T. SHE IS JUDT CAUTIONING THAT PPL SHOULD BE EXTRA DISCIPLINE WEN THEY REACHED THAT LEVEL[/b]

Its so sickening that people come on this forum and paint an "holier than thou" picture of themselves meanwhile they are worse off in reality! The lady came out to pour her heart out on what she knows she had done wrong and seeking ways to move on with her life. Next thing, hypocrites come from left right and center casting stones on her . . . . . Na wa o.

Dear Aloevera, learn from your mistakes and strive to live aright going forward, i wish you the strength to make things right with your boyfriend.

Dear Aloevera, u have been dating ur boyfriend for 4yrs without givin him kpekus, promising dat tis on ur day of wedding. But u carried ur kpekus n gave it to a married man meanwhl ur boyfriend dont know ha ur kpekus look like.. Too bad, I pity ur boyfriend. Indirectly calling ur boo a mugu

@Poster.
You are immature and insecure and will continue to cheat until you really overcome your immaturity and insecurity.
Anyway, you are not alone.
Just say you are one of them.

WackyJ1:
Except i purposely decide to cheat. I can never and will never.. Once i have said i won't cheat, i won't cheat, now assuming i am your boo have you given me reason to stick to my promise? Is what you did my reward for being faithful?

hoe aint loyal...no more good girls,the few good girls are bad girls not yet caught.

Aleovera:
Thank you all for sharing your opinions. For the very few who actually gave meaningful advice, it is highly apreciated. Someone (I think signalmind) mentioned that I intend to do right not because I love my boyfriend and that I was influenced by friends amongst other assumptions.

That's another wrong assumption. Cheating actually has nothing to do with falling out of love with ones current partner. I think I was weak and thoughtless. Also, I do not have friends with low maral standards and this is the reason I can't even share my experience with them but chose to come here.

As for all those who have cast stones, passed judgement and made silly assumptions, I am not in the least bit hurt by your words because you don't know my person and I understand that it is always easier to play self righteous!

shameless b!tch,you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Na wa o

I understand your point, the truth is that we can't fight temptation by our own strength but by the grace of God, and is what we think about that will happen, maybe you have one time or the other taught of sleeping with a married man and you wave it aside by not praying against it, the truth is, as Christians we will surely face persecutions but by the grace of God we will overcome, it's well.

Hmmmm, honestly its not advisable to cheat. But why cheat exactly when you're in a relationship?. It takes the grace of God and a special kinda love to forgive a cheating partner because there would be a breach of trust. And some guys can't even stand a cheating partner. Mind you, there are different kinds of cheating....yours is even worst because you had sex with another and worst of it all a married man. Work on yourself ma'am.

Lindalilian:
The girl I had plans to marry in 2016 cheated on me with a guy she met on social media

She admitted and confessed to me but refused to agree that they slept with each other, how else would you explain what she was doing in an hotel with the guy at obalende ??

I forgave her after much begging but deep down I'm not in for the relationship anymore

I forgave her cos I just wanted to keep on fuc***g her puna (most times she still beg me for cheating on me after each sex we have)

My trust for her dwindled after that moment of confession and I just want to Bleep her with anger and dump her at a time it will pain her just the same way it pained me, 6yrs relationship ain't a joke

So op accept your mistake and don't justify your cheating attitude , thank your star your guy ain't a guy like me.

I'll forgive you but.... Just for the fun of it, secretly I have my plans and you'll pay for it.

hello dear, I quite understand how you feel about your girl but why not quit the relationship instead of making her feel forgiven?I think it will be unfair to say u have forgiven someone whereby u have an ulterior motive for doing that..she did a whole lot of wrong, yes, but when bad things keeps circulating, an innocent person may get hurt in the process..pls think about it...hugs*

Be like say na to swallow redpill la las o. Thse hoes ain't loyal

but wait, could it have made u feel better if u had cheated with unmarried man? I don't understand this emphasis about the man being married....u cheated, that's the first offense before u talk of the marital status of the person....
I am not judging u cos we all have moments of weaknesses, but am really pitying the ur bf who's at the receiving end of ur little moment of debauchery...if really u have realized that the grass ain't greener on the other side, u don't have to confess to him, just make up ur mind that it won't happen again....but knowing u ladies, depending on the circumstances of ur fall, I don't really trust this ur moment of re-evaluation

I totally know you are coming from! I have asked for advice as well about that. I'm dating a super sweet guy for the past six months, however... there is the married man. I met him at work October 2019 and ever since then, we talk at least a few times a week. Sometimes it is less, but I am okay with it. I legitimately fell in love with him last year, but after realizing that the relationship would never be legit forced me to get the thought out of my head. Even to this day, I still deep down am in love with him or at least emotionally attached to him. We have come to a solution that we should be fwb at this point. We are both available to speak to each other at any time, but it definitely can be hard.

It's kind of hard for me to give solid advice since I am doing the same thing. He toyed with my heart for a year and I was too blinded by love to realize it. Knowing how he is has made it a lot easier for me the communication is much better and I know he'll always be here for me if I need him.
My boyfriend has no idea obviously and I sometimes have the thought in my head to tell him, but I at the same time can't since we all work at the same place... There's a lot of issues being attracted to a married man more than my own boyfriend, but we can't control our feelings sadly. There are days where I wish I never met him, but he still makes me happy despite all of the pain he caused for several months.

I feel like I'm not happy with my boyfriend emotionally and physically. Simply because he's not him. I am 22 and the married man is 33. My boyfriend is 20, so the age difference definitely sticks out for sure. I know how much he loves me and I don't want to hurt him, but I have had many people tell me to have a discussion with him, telling him that I've been cheating on him.

I guess the only advice I can give is go with your heart.