What do you do when someone you know committed suicide?

When:
It's hard not to look at their pictures without crying and thinking of what you may have done to prevent it...
Thinking about all the good times you shared and past memories without smiling and crying at the same time...
Wondering what would have happened if you could have noticed how much this person was hurting inside, while smiling on the outside...
Pondering over why this person decided to take matters in their own hands and end things permanently...
Realising that you were not enough reason for this person to not take their life...

These thoughts make me really sad and I have not been able to sleep since I found out a dear friend of mine took her life. It is so painful and I can not function without thinking about her.

Please does anyone have any advice on how to get over this loss?

I've not experienced this but I lost a friend last year due to a pre-existing medial condition. Keep your head up, it gets better.

as hard as it may be, you have to understand that suicide is a very selfish act, and that this person had no care for the hurt and pain that they would inflict on so many people in their lives.....so therefore, you also must be selfish (for your own sanity) and regard such act as something negative that they did, and actually be somewhat upset at what he/she did.

only time can help you heal from the obvious loss, but make sure you come out in one piece, this is why (imho) you have to see their very negative act for what it really is. no matter how hard/difficult/down/lost that person or their life was, they had no RIGHT to inflict so much pain and sorrow on others like that. this is such a huge lack of respect for LIFE!

I'm sorry for your loss.

I do understand the pain of losing a loved one via sudden death cos I have lost a dear sibling in a glimpse of a mysterious car accident...I felt like joining him, I thought of all possible things I could have done to stop the accident- regretted travelling back and leaving him behind, cos I would have been the one to drive him and others to the airport on that faithful day if I were around...

In fact, my world got shattered, and even as I type, I still feel he is not dead yet cos I find it hard to believe, but time is the only sure healer of pains and issues like this...

Be strong, be prayerful (I have learnt to love, worship and trust only in God cos we are dust, maybe these words may be the last words I would type as human, it may be the last you may read as living human, which shows that we all are nothing but walking corpses, may God preserve our lives anyway, ) and give it time...you will heal gradually, that's all you can do- pray when the pain gets so strong, and give thanks.

Life is nothing but vanity if you understand it well. Take heart.

Sorry dude. What you see/think/feel intentionally should be forgotten (Jainism). Its hard to live free and to live your life as you want without regrets. Remember,this world is short lived. I thought I had a very strong threshold for pains not until I lost my brother a week before his birthday this year. Dont ask how to forget it,jast forget it.

it's happened to me.and sometimes I break down, cz he visited me on the day he did it.
cant describe the pain and thoughts but time heals.

MRbrownJAY: as hard as it may be, you have to understand that suicide is a very selfish act, and that this person had no care for the hurt and pain that they would inflict on so many people in their lives.....so therefore, you also must be selfish (for your own sanity) and regard such act as something negative that they did, and actually be somewhat upset at what he/she did.

only time can help you heal from the obvious loss, but make sure you come out in one piece, this is why (imho) you have to see their very negative act for what it really is. no matter how hard/difficult/down/lost that person or their life was, they had no RIGHT to inflict so much pain and sorrow on others like that. this is such a huge lack of respect for LIFE!

Most of the people who commit suicide do so because they feel helpless and unloved. They feel all alone, that nothing will save them and no one cares if they gone. Do not think it selfish of them: u don't know a lot of what passes through their minds.

Rather work towards preventing another in your life from committing suicide. The signs are always there, you might choose to ignore because you feel it isn't serious. A lot of people who commit suicide often discuss committing suicide before they carry it out.

@OP, wipe your tears the deed has been carried out without a choice of reversal. Research more on suicides and signs. And be alert to prevent another from going down that way.

All of you thanks so much for the advice. I feel a little better and I think I may seek some therapy though to help me through this tough time.
May God bless all of you.

Idowuogbo: Poster, drop in here.

https://www.nairaland.com/826801/feeling-suicidal-come-here-first/9

I am not feeling suicidal. I am just asking how to cope with suicide of a loved one. Did you read my post?

usmsam:

I am not feeling suicidal. I am just asking how to cope with suicide of a loved one. Did you read my post?

Ooopsi! My bad! I didn't really pay attention to d content of ur post, I worked with the title. Sowwrie!

Unfortunately you never get over it. The pain remains constant and certain memories will make it harder. People say it gets easier, but it doesnt. You just learn to cope better. The feelings of guilt and wanting to have done more will remain.
Hugs to you for having to deal with this too.

hmmmm

gbaky_floor: Most of the people who commit suicide do so because they feel helpless and unloved. They feel all alone, that nothing will save them and no one cares if they gone. Do not think it selfish of them: u don't know a lot of what passes through their minds.

as much as the above about how they felt may be true, i certainly believe that killing themselves and subsequently making OTHERS feel just the way they did, is wrong on all accounts and very selfish (they want to stop feeling the way they did so they do an act that will make OTHERS who love him/her dearly feel the same way?). whatever was going through their minds at the time, no matter how low they were at that point in their lives, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how helpless or unloved they "thought" they were, suicide was NOT the solution to their problem, but instead just any easy, cheap, and very selfish escape from weak people who lost their will to FIGHT FOR LIFE.....and anyone who believes otherwise is as deluded as the person who commit this insane act.

there is no justification for such act, NONE WHATSOEVER! you can come up with all you want, but at the end of the day it is simply a GRAVE DISRESPECT FOR LIFE.

MRbrownJAY:

as much as the above about how they felt may be true, i certainly believe that killing themselves and subsequently making OTHERS feel just the way they did, is wrong on all accounts and very selfish (they want to stop feeling the way they did so they do an act that will make OTHERS who love him/her dearly feel the same way?). whatever was going through their minds at the time, no matter how low they were at that point in their lives, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how helpless or unloved they "thought" they were, suicide was NOT the solution to their problem, but instead just any easy, cheap, and very selfish escape from weak people who lost their will to FIGHT FOR LIFE.....and anyone who believes otherwise is as deluded as the person who commit this insane act.

there is no justification for such act, NONE WHATSOEVER! you can come up with all you want, but at the end of the day it is simply a GRAVE DISRESPECT FOR LIFE.

@Oga MrBrownjay
I need your input on something important but i couldn't find your email. kindly respond to my mail on nairaland so i can mail you. thank you

I pray that God will comfort you. All u need to do is PRAY.