cotton101: you made me laugh this afternoon - these are the same things my ex's sisters told me, i should just manage, don't leave or else he will bring one of his girlfriends into the home, i told them (at the airport) they should come and "enjoy" what i have been enjoying . chei so i wife beater is a good man cos he buys SUV - i laugh in german.

thank God for financial independence - at least one of the many things my father pumped iinto my head b4 passing away was to make sure all his daughters were on the right path to get educated and be financialy independent.

nobody is saying that my having your own money u should disrespect your husband but these women in the video are pathetic and shameful, instead of accepting it encourage an atmosphere where there is mutual respect so that children grow up and have healthy marriages.

Thank God for you and your Fathers teachings. Without the tools to get out most women in your shoes would have stayed and become punchbags and STD carriers especially in a society like Nigeria where there are no safety nets for such women

@Dayokanu am beginning to get a little bit confused with ur views. I quiet understand n agree with ur stand dat a woman should be financially independent n ve a source of income. But from ur last post are u saying dat a woman should not just make a living but must earn a particular amount of money b4 she can be respected and avoid abuse?
Looking at ur last analogy it is very possible for a woman to be abuse weather or not she earns an income, but she can only leave if she earns a substantial amount of income.......what really is ur point?

stillwater:

Mr man, respect is earned! Simple and short. Angela Merkel the German prime minister, no pe.nis. Are you more respected than her?

she respects her husband(who has a big pënis)! that's the crux of the matter!!!

lol, lmao @ pe.nises is not a ticket to respect

MMotimo: How many families living in Naija have only one income?

How many of the abused women have no income?

abi o, you hardly find a home where a woman is not working in Nigeria, selling pepper is work too.
yet those women are still being abused and cheated on.
Nig males are from another planet.

Men are chronic cheaters, so Divorce or no Divorce won't solve any problems, especially when you have kids. I agree with the respondents.

coogar:

she respects her husband(who has a big pënis)! that's the crux of the matter!!!

Lol. This guy is not serious honestly.
The husband respects her too FYI.

"How many of these abused women would stay married for Mrs tag to a broke man

Typically this is how the conversation goes

Woman: My Husband beats me and cheats on me

Friend:Sorry I feel for you, Does he provide for the family?

Woman: Yes he has been carrying the burden of my finances ever since, shopping in Dubai and London vacation, even just bought me a SUV

Friend: My sister You better stay there, You are lucky o, "Good men" like that are scarce, You just have to endure, All men cheat and beat their wives, You are even lucky he hasnt brought the other women home

Assume the first response was "he doesnt provide anything for the House , I am even the one fending for myself"

I am sure the friends response would have been "So what are you waiting for or why havent you left him"

(Quote) (Report) 3 Likes (Unlike)

While I agree with the above dialogue, i still believe majority will remain in their marriages, not because they love their husbands but because of their obsession with the institution called marriage.

So many cases abound of women solely providing for their families while still getting physically and emotionally abused by said husbands. Titi arowolo is a perfect example. She was earning a pretty good salary at skye bank and was the main provider in her household. Didnt she remain in her physically abusive marriage despite the fact that her Dad told her not to go back?

ileobatojo: I would recommend not wasting your time. He is not a credible holder of those views. The same person that says a woman and man must contribute their worth financially is the same one that will say "say wetin happen" when the wife asks him to soothe his own crying baby in the middle of the night. He is also the same one that sees the housework as the womans job mainly.

I am for each party contributing financially to the household

Also needs to be said that we should also know roles for genders differ.

If we cook 100 times in the house The woman would do majority of it and if we do fixing household appliances like spoilt bulb, Spoilt electrical appliance I do majority

If my wife resumes at 7am, I resume at 10am and baby crying at 3am, definitely I pick the baby.

stillwater:
Lol. This guy is not serious honestly.
The husband respects her too FYI.

and you know that, how?
hilary clinton is a powerful woman - what did she do when she learnt monica lewinsky was polishing her husband's knob? did she flee? that's a sensible woman you have there - a selfless woman. the woman put her family first before her own selfish pride!

zibiah: @Dayokanu am beginning to get a little bit confused with ur views. I quiet understand n agree with ur stand dat a woman should be financially independent n ve a source of income. But from ur last post are u saying dat a woman should not just make a living but must earn a particular amount of money b4 she can be respected and avoid abuse?
Looking at ur last analogy it is very possible for a woman to be abuse weather or not she earns an income, but she can only leave if she earns a substantial amount of income.......what really is ur point?

Your expenses fall within your income is the summary of that post

Not earn 70k and spend 300k a month. How can you support yourself alone without depending on another person?

If you earn 100k and already have a lifestyle of 300k Someone else has to support that, And that might be a reason for clinging on to abuse in marriage instead of leaving

Policewoman: Men are chronic cheaters, so Divorce or no Divorce won't solve any problems, especially when you have kids. I agree with the respondents.

i agree with them as well......
marriage is better for worse - women should learn to tolerate the chaff that gets mixed with the wheat once in a while.

you made me laugh this afternoon - these are the same things my ex's sisters told me, i should just manage, don't leave or else he will bring one of his girlfriends into the home, i told them (at the airport) they should come and "enjoy" what i have been enjoying . chei so i wife beater is a good man cos he buys SUV - i laugh in german.

thank God for financial independence - at least one of the many things my father pumped iinto my head b4 passing away was to make sure all his daughters were on the right path to get educated and be financialy independent.

nobody is saying that my having your own money u should disrespect your husband but these women in the video are pathetic and shameful, instead of accepting it encourage an atmosphere where there is mutual respect so that children grow up and have healthy marriages

touche! We need more women like you. I so much detest that line " Don't let another woman take over your home" Nonsense! Home that is already hell on earth. They should come and 'enjoy'.

Oh puhlease! There is little/no corelation between abuse and financial responsibility! You all make it seem like most women who are abused are not financially independent. Most women in nigeria work their butts off to contribute a significant quota to the finance of the home. Some are even the sole providers of their homes and still get abused.

An abusive man won't stop even if the woman is the main provider of the home. I've even come to realise that men who are not financially well off are usually the ones abusing their wives prolly cos of frustration from the fact that they are not "man enough".

Financial independence on the woman's part should be for other reasons like; helping out in the home, contributing for projects and saving for rainy days. Not necessarily to avoid abuse.

The story of that dead banker comes in handy here. She was said to be the sole provider of her home and yet was beaten to death by her husband.

Nevertheless, I agree that it is less difficult for a financially empowered woman to leave an abusive man than it is for unempowered one but disagree that financial independence on the woman's part can make the man to not abuse her.

Wow. I don't even know which one is more disturbing. The fact that some airheads in the video have been brainwashed into accepting dehumanizing treatment or the fact that some sadist men on this thread are encouraging women to accept dehumanizing treatment.
I can't wait for the time to come when women learn to fend for themselves and stop depending on men for anything.

and you know that, how?
hilary clinton is a powerful woman - what did she do when she learnt monica lewinsky was polishing her husband's knob? did she flee? that's a sensible woman you have there - a selfless woman. the woman put her family first before her own selfish pride!

I love it when men use Hillary Clinton as an example of a woman that 'endured' her marriage. . She put her family first?lol.Or she put her political ambitions first before her marriage. Hillary wo? Hillary knew where she was going and that was why she stayed.

50calibre:
I am in no way commending or advocating violence against women, that's for savages. What I'm against is this whole (fairly new) mentality of women feeling they are equal to men.
To be taken seriously as a feminist, you have to act like one. True feminists dont rely on anyone, they feel offended having a man buy them things, they are not ashamed to take a man on a date and pay for it unfortunately all Nigerian women see are the rebellious aspect and fail to rise to the challenge in other aspects.
Until Nigerian women learn to be independent Financially, mentally, psychologically, men will always be gods.

True

lady gogo: and you know that, how?
hilary clinton is a powerful woman - what did she do when she learnt monica lewinsky was polishing her husband's knob? did she flee? that's a sensible woman you have there - a selfless woman. the woman put her family first before her own selfish pride!

I love it when men use Hillary Clinton as an example of a woman that 'endured' her marriage. . She put her family first?lol.Or she put her political ambitions first before her marriage. Hillary wo? Hillary knew where she was going and that was why she stayed.

Lol
What are you saying? Dont you know that
Hilary stayed because men are superior to women lwkmd

While I agree with the above dialogue, i still believe majority will remain in their marriages, not because they love their husbands but because of their obsession with the institution called marriage.

So many cases abound of women solely providing for their families while still getting physically and emotionally abused by said husbands. Titi arowolo is a perfect example. She was earning a pretty good salary at skye bank and was the main provider in her household. Didnt she remain in her physically abusive marriage despite the fact that her Dad told her not to go back?[/quote]

Oohh, didn't even see this before I responded. Nice one.

maclatunji: These women are typical of majority of Nigerian women.

Our Nairaland feminist warriors have a long way to go. I dare say some of them take the things they claim they will [b]never accept online within the confines of their homes. [/b]

THis, my friend is why there are perfect marriages on NL


comedians comediennes .... (hope im correct cos of the spelling militia roving NL to enforce rule 21 )

lady gogo:
I love it when men use Hillary Clinton as an example of a woman that 'endured' her marriage. . She put her family first?lol.Or she put her political ambitions first before her marriage. Hillary wo? Hillary knew where she was going and that was why she stayed.

you mean she stood no chance to contest for a political post as a divorcee? does divorce strip a woman of her intelligence and leadership skills?

abeg, look for another excuse - she stayed in her marriage and that's the crux! she's not the only woman that stayed with a cheating husband. there are many others!

We need women's empowerment in Naija!

lepasharon: We need women's empowerment in Naija!

nope, you need better divorce laws......

maclatunji:

All you single ladies need to stop day-dreaming and face reality. It is your headiness that is preventing you from seeing the important things whilst you are single and leading you towards the men and marriages that you say you detest so much. These ones that are realistic have resigned to fate. However, those of you that claim to be "smarter and better" could end-up being deflated if you do not lay the proper foundation now that you have the chance.

The first thing a single lady should drill into her head is humility. No man no matter how accommodating, loving and caring will accept haughtiness from his wife.

true...

J12: Stupìd video with stupìd girls. I don't understand the unnecessary vexation over the video from the women here. If you ask your moms the same question, she'll definitely give the same answer the girls are giving.

pathethically true...

We need to start awarding some members certifictate

Nuzo':


I took off bro.

However, I had one when I was in school. She threatened to leave me if I don't give her hot slaps and bites whenever we were making love. I was much younger then...so I had to explore. I don't need to tell you the level of internal explossion and vibration she displays anytime a very hot slap lands on her face.

I had to leave later tho'. It was becoming traumatic for me instead.

you could not take it men .. some S & M ish ... damn that some gist for your kids when they gronn...


son.. there are crazy azz ladies out there
let me tell you about one in my yuppie days

this will pain me more than it pains you (holding whip)

* twock*
* twock*

yeah baby,,, more...

you mean she stood no chance to contest for a political post as a divorcee? does divorce strip a woman of her intelligence and leadership skills?

abeg, look for another excuse - she stayed in her marriage and that's the crux! she's not the only woman that stayed with a cheating husband. there are many others!

Of course she is allowed to contest as a divorcee, but would she have won(well she ended up not winning)let alone becoming their Secretary of State.i sure as hell dont think so.There would have been two strikes against her-Being a woman and a divorcee. Americans are still very conservative in their thinking. Dont be fooled. A lot of their political wives dont stay if there is nothing to benefit and it doesnt necessarily have to be economic.

^^ Condoleeza Rice was Secretary of State without ever being married

John McCain, Newt Gingrch were all divorcees

lady gogo:
Of course she is allowed to contest as a divorcee, but would she have won(well she ended up not winning)let alone becoming their Secretary of State.i sure as hell dont think so.There would have been two strikes against her-Being a woman and a divorcee. Americans are still very conservative in their thinking. Dont be fooled. A lot of their political wives dont stay if there is nothing to benefit and it doesnt necessarily have to be economic.

what political post was posh gunning for when she decided to stay in marriage with a cheating david beckham? prime minister?

Are u kidding me ? Kai kai kai , african women its high time they stood for wwht is right and not wht the society wd tink

dayokanu:

I am for each party contributing financially to the household

Also needs to be said that we should also know roles for genders differ.

That doesn't hold water because the man being the provider is one of the most notable gender role in marriage in our society. If you will unwaiveringly abolish that one and delegate your own primary role to be shared by both of you then it would be quite hypocritical of you to assign the vast majority of the household work to one person due to gender roles. If you plan to assign gender roles, then you must assign them across the board not changing things up as it suits you.

damilola_luv: why must you kill him? Why can"t you just leave him or rather go to the lawyers and get your share. Hmmm

The posts sounds anti-feminist to me... i thought the feminist mantra was marriage is not by force . I walk out once you go steppin'

50calibre:

I am in no way commending or advocating violence against women, that's for savages. What I'm against is this whole (fairly new) mentality of women feeling they are equal to men.

To be taken seriously as a feminist, you have to act like one. True feminists dont rely on anyone, they feel offended having a man buy them things, they are not ashamed to take a man on a date and pay for it unfortunately all Nigerian women see are the rebellious aspect and fail to rise to the challenge in other aspects.

Until Nigerian women learn to be independent Financially, mentally, psychologically, men will always be gods.

dayokanu:

When I told people that being abused in a marriage is related to lazy and women not being able to fend for themselves, Some people here raised voices.

now real people have spoken

As long as some women are lazy and still see marriage as a meal ticket, these abuse wont stop anytime soon

GBAM!!!

ileobatojo: Personally I'm tired of all these nairaland men that like to pretend as if they are too manly to take nonsense from their women when we know they are chopping shyte and chopping it in mounds by the day. They now come here and pretend they will never tolerate haughtiness from their women when it's all a big lie. Abeg drop the pretense and accept the reality of the situation on your ground.

You are wrong!! because its quite known that Nigerian men have zero tolerance for rebellion, a fact women here can attest to so whatever guys write here is most likely true.

What you said is ironical because its actually nigerian women who suffer abuse and still endure, the video on page 1 proves that, therefore all these no-nonsense rhetoric by some females here are most likely empty words.