This story often summons a smile to my face. About
20 years ago, we took my little cousin, Motunrayo, to
a studio for a photo session. She sat in front of the
camera and we started applying some make-up to her
pretty face. Make-up done, lights on, camera ready,
preamble finished, she innocently stood up and
headed for the exit door. We laughed and informed
her that she was yet to do what we actually came for
– a photo shoot. The three-year-old girl probably
thought we only came to glamorise her face. This,
tearfully, reminds me of Nigerian politicians. They so
often fail to understand that the main reason for
getting political power is not the glamour of sirens
and convoys. Power is not an end in itself; it is, alas, a
means to an end.
While Nigerian governors were busy meeting and
strategising non-stop on who should be the next
chairman of the Political Billionaires’ Club, popularly
known as the Nigeria Governors Forum (NGF), the
Ruler of Dubai – a state in the United Arab Emirates –
was busy unveiling plans to build three world-class
hospitals and 40 new clinics to promote “medical
tourism”. His Highness Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid
Al Maktoum said the plan was to build hospitals
comparable to any medical facility anywhere in the
world. They will also build five-star hotels next door to
the facilities for the relatives of patients. The
objective is to add another dimension to the Dubai
story – trade, travel, real estate and now medical
tourism. That is vision. That is leadership.
About the same time in my dearly beloved country,
our multi-billionaire governors and other politicians
were meeting day and night and night and day over
who controls the meaningless Political Billionaires’
Club. Their disagreement was not about building
world-class hospitals and world-class schools. It was
not about fixing the potholes that litter our roads all
over the federation. It was not about ending infant and
maternal mortality. It was not about making Nigeria a
land of trade and tourism. It was not about turning
Nigeria to an exporter of mobile phones, like South
Korea, or dairy products, like the Netherlands. The
goal of political power, as far as they can see, is
intrigues. Politics starts and ends with elections.
Development is a distraction.
And we keep asking why Nigeria is like this.
I have been very amused – let me use the word
bemused – by the NGF intrigues. If you believe what
you are reading in the media, President Goodluck
Jonathan, who wants a second term in 2015, is trying
to stop Governor Rotimi Amaechi from getting a
second term as chairman of NGF. To complete the
irony, Amaechi, who is serving a second term as
governor of Rivers State and also seeking a second
term as NGF chairman, is against a second term for
Jonathan. And so a civil war has broken out. It has
now been presented to the gullible public as a fight
between democrats and dictators, a battle between
principled men and unprincipled men.
You believe that crap? So our politicians are now
symbols of credible elections and role models of
integrity? Seriously? Since when? Many Nigerians are
selling and buying that line. Have we been so
bewitched to forget that this fight is but a mere
disagreement between soul mates? These same
politicians will soon meet over bottles of expensive
champagne and thereafter announce to the world that
they have “resolved” their “differences” – while
millions of Nigerians will continue to wallow in poverty
and disease. Why do we always allow these politicians
to fool us? I hereby officially announce that I, Simon
Gbenga Kolawole, refuse to be hoodwinked. I have
seen all this drama before. I don’t know about you.
Instead of the rest of us to gather and pelt these
overfed politicians with rotten tomatoes for always
placing political intrigues above good governance, we
are taking sides. Can’t we all see that this NGF thing
is all politics? Can’t we see that this political game is
not about the progress of Nigeria? Why are we so
easily excited in this country? Why do we always allow
these politicians to distract our attention from the
purpose of politics? How I wish all the energy being
dissipated by these pot-bellied politicians was for the
comfort of Nigerians! How I wish it was about how to
provide safe water to the poor and jobs to the millions
of youths who are hopelessly and haplessly roaming
the streets! How I wish Nigerian politicians were
quarrelling over how to tackle guinea worm, malaria,
diabetes and kidney failures!
If these politicians devote just 10 per cent of their
intrigues to making our country a better place, I bet
Dubai would be like a ghetto compared to Nigeria.
With all the trillions of naira that the three tiers of
government have shared since 1999, we should not
be here lamenting about electricity, education and
health. But here we are, stuck with leaders who think
only for themselves, who think that getting political
power and playing high-wire politics are all that
should count. Of all the troubles afflicting Nigerians
today, NGF chairmanship and 2015 should be the
least of our worries. But our politicians, like my
innocent little cousin, like to adorn the make-up of
political power and then walk away when it comes to
the real reason they are in office – to turn Nigeria to a
civilised country.
Now, with all the emotion and passion being exerted
in the polity in the past few weeks over the NGF
election, I will not be surprised if many of these
politicians end up with high blood pressure and stroke
by 2015. Well, I’ve got news for them. By then, Dubai
will hopefully have opened one of their world-class
hospitals, complete with the best equipment and the
best medical personnel the world has to offer.
Nigerian politicians can go there to receive treatment
after the elections. With no world-class hospital in
Nigeria, Dubai will eagerly welcome our leaders with
open arms. After all, are these chubby-cheeked
politicians and their fronts not the ones buying up the
choice property in Dubai while millions of Nigerians
remain homeless?

And Four Other Things…


WAGING THE WAR


It’s a shame that Nigerians have spent more time discussing the minor rift among our multi-billionaire
governors, thereby relegating the more important issue of Boko Haram to the background. What we’ve
been hearing in the last few days is chilling. The army
authorities confirmed that some military insiders are
working for the insurgents and have often tipped them
off and put our soldiers’ lives at risk. There are
allegations that Hezbollah, the Lebanese group, has
links with Boko Haram. This raises more questions
about our border control. Did you hear the Boko
Haram leader, Abubakar Shekau, calling on Arabs to
team up with him in his war against Nigeria?


ALIYU THE JANUS
If there is one governor I have never been able to
understand since I was born, it is Dr. Mu’azu
Babangida Aliyu. The Janus-faced governor of Niger
State attended General Ibrahim Babangida’s
declaration of intent to run in the 2011 presidential
race. Shortly after, he was also at President Goodluck
Jonathan’s declaration. During the Nigeria Governors
Forum (NGF) chairmanship election, Aliyu was for both
Governors Rotimi Amaechi and David Jang. Then last
Tuesday, he shamelessly told Jonathan that all his
criticism of the president was meant to attract federal
projects to Niger State. And, by the way, this man has
a PhD.


ANGO MUST GO

Remember Professor Ango Abdullahi? He was Vice
Chancellor of Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. In 1986,
ABU students staged an “Ango Must Go” protest,
asking for his removal over his draconian rule. The
police moved in to quell the riot. Reports said dozens
of students died, but Professor Abdullahi infamously
said “only six students” were gunned down (none of
his children was among the dead, so you could
understand his use of “only”). Well, he is now the
spokesman of Northern elders. That is exactly the
kind of spokesmen and elders we need to transform
the North. Wayyo Allah na!


DEMOCRACY AT 14
At a public function recently, a professor from the
University of Ibadan bitterly lamented that Nigeria had
nothing to show for democracy. He listed a million
problems and two million challenges. He almost called
for the military to come back. The governor of
Anambra State, Mr. Peter Obi, who spoke shortly after
him, asked the professor not to take such a dim view
of things. “Prof,” Obi said, “the fact that you could say
what you have just said and there is no security
operative waiting outside the auditorium to arrest you
is a sign of progress.” Yesterday always looks better
than today. God has blessed human beings with the
ability not to retain memory of pain.



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