Why must it be the men to always make the mistakes?
Y'all shouldn't even get me started here - I can't believe you guys are trying to be on the guy's side.
Y'all know that was an irresponsible mistake by both parents but the girl was strong enough not to have the abortion.
Please be unbiased for once

@ Akinagirl,

Unfortunately for the poster, she is in Nigeria. . . . .a male dominated society.
If the man goes to court, he would win the case hands down.

First all, he is now financially capable of giving more to the child than the mother. . . . .all he needs to say is HIS DAUGHTER DESERVES A MORE QUALITY LIFE and the court shall rule in his favour. . . . . .

This will break the mother's heart and she will be more hurt. . . .
To prevent this old age heart-break, she should mend fences with the man now and accept her fate.

eldee:

@Toyin and y'all ladies
There's bare sides to a coin
This is only the poster's side of the story we're hearing now.
We don't know the reason the dude really wants the child back

The fact that his XX is still staying there not knowing she has a dad is really bad for the kid
Give her the chance to grow up normally

Everyone makes mistakes, afterall The great Ghandi was once racist against Africans
He changed to become one of the most peaceloving freedom fighters the world has ever known.

Brilliantly said, but it still does not prevent me from being careful about the male species na

@post
Yes, there might be another side of the story that you're not telling, however from what I can sum up from your thread, the man is useless. He wan abort pikin, now he wants "his" child back because he doesn't have another child? I'll understand if he wants the child back because he knew he made a big mistake in the past, but the reason why he wants this child back is enough reason not to even allow him near the kid. My gosh, is there no limits to the ruthlessness of men?

Give her the chance to grow up normally

So children of widows are abnormal?

@ D-reloaded,

The child of a widow knows he/she has no father. . . . .
How do u explain to a child that u have a father but he is not here. . . . .
Every child will strive to know who their father is. . . . . It's a law of nature.
Whether he was a cruel, irresponsible and ill-mannered plonker is purely academic.

@LadyT
Yeah, I do say 'bare' in real life, bare just means 'many'
Forgive my UKglish, but come to think of it, we own the flipping language sis
Our slangs should rule too

LadyT:
Just because he is her biological father doesnt mean shit.  There are millions of children being bought up by OTHER men who are not their biological fathers.  I'm sure in time the child will know the father.  The kid has done very well without him so far.

You need to remember that the country we're talking about. Nigeria

It's very hard for a child to grow up normally without a father, there's always a little stereotype
Nigeria has not even learnt to accept divorce.

jackal: The poster said the man came back to BEG and ask for FORGIVENESS.
What else should he do? Kiss her toes?

By five cows and bury them alive to appease the spirits

eldee:

@LadyT
It's very hard for a child to grow up normally without a father, there's always a little stereotype

That's another thing. But a child that is well loved by his/her mother needs not worry about his/her shameless father. The thing is, it even makes the child stronger, seeing that his mother worked hard enough to care and provide for him. The child would be more careful, learning from experience, and atleast try to avoid the same situation.

doesnt work for black americans apparently

LOL@eldee

I live in the UK. I know what bare means! I just found it funny that you type that way too. I see you live in saff london
I dont do slang. I sound like a white gal I have been told whatever I say.

Your points are valid but I think the mother should think long and hard the guy sounds like a loser. I feel bad for his current wife.

This sounds like a Nollywood flick i saw last week or was it the one the week before or the week
before that, or ohhhhhhhh never mind

wait a minute jackal, how do you know that hes more fincially stable then the mother? I honestly do not think she should welcome his dumb ass back with open arms. He fkucd up!! He should have to work hard to gain trust back, as far as im concerend, the baby done well without him and will continue to do well without him in her life. I honestly think that this mans mother should have aborted his sawry ass.

"I told him then that i can't abort the baby but he refused, saying that he has a fiancee. He even gave me the money for the abortion".

Jackal, did you read this part of the story? Any responsible man will first of all accept his responsibilities before spewing his opinion regarding the matter. In this situation the reverse is the case.

Who told you the man wasn't financially capable at that time? And he had a fiancee and even gave her money to abort? Abi poor man deh engage too?

This dude came back to this chic 'cause he needed to meet a certain criteria which included his offspring to enable him secure the bloody title.
If his poor wife had children he wouldn't be begging this chic now for "forgivemyass". It's just so shameful that he'll even threaten her if he was denied the right to see his child. Pretty pathetic.
You think if they go to court he'll win the case? Hella NO! Na so them deh win case because they're in "a male dominated society". Kiss my ass! Male or animal dominated, shit is, dude's a loser! What d'u know about child custody?

The man will definitely get to know his child but not at this point if I were the one, anyway. I'm not being heartless but for that flamming title I'll so deny him any sight of my girl.

You men need serious handling. Ain't no pity for your cruel behaviour. You guys need to be set on track in and outside Nigeria.

By the way, where is the OP?? We need updates.

Thank you radiant, I said that before, but he wants to keep on defending this dude.

Jackal.:

@ Stillwater,

We don't know that, do we?

The man has tried all possible avenue to see his kid. . . . .The poster thwarted all his efforts. . . . .
I am quite sure the [b]title thingy was the man's way of pressuring the girl to give up the kid. [/b] There cannot be anything like that.
Do u know any title given out to men that breeds kids . . . What are these titles called? Highest kid breeder?

Men can be cruel, i agree.
However, no responsible man will completely neglect his kid when he is financially stable to take care of her.
As at the time the baby was conceived, our man was a bit struggling then. . . .Now, he wants to take responsibility.
Will u guys give him a chance to let him take care of his baby girl?

Lmao. . .oh come on! The title thingy is just a way to pressurize her?!! Seriously? Then he is a stupid, stupid man. Of all the things he could have said to appeal to  (pressurize. . .if you will) her emotional side, things like. . .

I was young are stupid then, please forgive me.
I never stopped thinking about you and our child.
There I’ve been times I thought of coming after you but my nerves failed me.
I just want to do what is best for my child.
Please let me correct the wrong.

Again of all the things he could have said, the title thingy was what he thought would do the trick? Help me out here, how does that put pressure on her? It’s his issue, she has nothing to lose or gain if he gets the title or not. It does not affect her in no way, shape or form. . .so why bring it up? Have I said he is stupid? Well it bears repeating…he is a stupid, stupid man.

Poor child, I hope she does not inherit the stupidity that seems to run rampant on her father’s side of the family .


Bringing up the title shows how incredibly arrogant he is. My God! He gets her pregnant, denies the baby, lets her take the rap alone, skips happily on to a happy, happy life but wait, there’s a bump on the road…he needs a child. What to do? What to do? Oh right…there’s that child he almost had killed before she had a chance to live. Thank goodness her mother did not listen to him. . .Whew! He really dodged the bullet on that one. Now he comes back to claim the child. . .as if!


@ Poster
If I were in your shoes, I’d tell him
“ Eeeya, the baby is not yours. The truth is when we were dating I was also seeing 2. . .3. . .4 other guys ^{Call me a LovePeddler, I don’t care. As long as he does not get his hands on my baby.} As a matter of fact, the period when she was conceived, you and I were not even intimate, so you see, as much as I wanted you to be the baby daddy, you aren’t and I’m sorta glad you rejected me back then because what I wanted to do to you…making you believe it was yours, was just evil. Forgive me? Okay bye bye then…best of luck in all your future endeavors”

Rad babe,

Jackal purposely ignored all that jare

LOL@Radiant "forgivemyass"  

Preach Sisikill!!

D-reloaded:

Rad babe,

Jackal purposely ignored all that jare

Then he's a joke himself.

_{How u deh jare?}

@ Radiant,

I know a lot about child custody and i also know CASH RULES EVERYTHING in Nigeria.
If that man goes to court. . . . he will win his case and prolly get a restraining order against the woman.
Nigeria is not New Orleans or Norway. . . . . . respect that!!!!!

Any loser can afford the funds required for an abortion. . . . .
Besides, the word fiancee is used loosely in Nigeria. . . . don't take it literally!!!!
Y'all need to understand that they were both responsible for this mess in the 1st place. . . . Both of em should be held accountable for having an unwanted pregnancy.

Granted, the man screwed her up but then shit happens!!!!
She should let the father see his kid, make up with him and live happily ever after.
Blimey. . . . You are one heartless woman . . . . .A bloody man-eater.

@ Sisikill,

You are smarter than that. . . .
Word of mouth does not prove/disprove paternity.
The dude in question is now very rich. . . . .He can ask the court to get some DNA testing done. . . So what happens?

I feel like strangling the man. If the man was serious he would have consulted the girl's parents by now who might help in speeding up the process of reconciliation but instead he's threatening her with yeye Nigerian police. Yeye man!!!!!

Jackal.:

@ Radiant,

I know a lot about child custody and i also know CASH RULES EVERYTHING in Nigeria.
If that man goes to court. . . . he will win his case and prolly get a restraining order against the woman.
Nigeria is not New Orleans or Norway. . . . . . respect that!!!!!

Jackal, I'm not a lawyer but trust me I know a thing or two about child custody and believe me this man stands no ground to claim custody.
Bring out your reasons and I'll set you straight. I don't care where these people live. Fact is, this dude will loose in court based on the story we have here.
Forget all this one weh you deh talk. Even in Nigeria there are people who know the right thing to do. Not everyone is a lost case like you.

Jackal.:

Any loser can afford the funds required for an abortion. . . . .
Besides, the word fiancee is used loosely in Nigeria. . . . don't take it literally!!!!
Y'all need to understand that they were both responsible for this mess in the 1st place. . . . Both of em should be held accountable for having an unwanted pregnancy.

Granted, the man screwed her up but then shit happens!!!!
She should let the father see his kid, make up with him and live happily ever after.
Blimey. . . . You are one heartless woman . . . . .A bloody man-eater.

Don't try to twist it now yea 'cause from what we've been told he eventually married his "fiancee". Ain't nothing loose about that fact. Read well, Jackal.

He will see his child but not now. Abi na you be the man? Ain't heartless. I already told you that

However, no responsible man will completely neglect his kid when he is financially stable to take care of her.

Oh I thought it's already been established that he is not a responsible man.

As at the time the baby was conceived, our man was a bit struggling then. . . .Now, he wants to take responsibility.

And you know this. . .how?

Will u guys give him a chance to let him take care of his baby girl?

Mmmm. . .nah, thanks but no thanks.

He has now realised his mistakes and wants to give his kid the best he can and people are saying NO?

No what he has realised is what his kid can give him. . .A freaking Title.

The man wants his kid now simply because he is now ready to shoulder his responsiblities as the father.

Again. . .NO. He wants the kid simple because it's the only way he can show that he has arrived.

Secondly, the man threatened to call the police because he is getting frustrated.

Hmmm, let's see getting pregnant at 19, abandoned by the father, getting thrown out of her parents house WITH beatings, sent to live in the village, struggling to finish her education. . .while taking care of her baby VS. Calling a few times and not getting the desired response. Oh yeah. . .yeah, he is wins this round hands down. She's even lucky he didn't call the CIA sef.


Haba Mr, Jackal. . .how can you say write these things with a straight face?

@Radiant
Fine, the dude might have been an outright shitbrain for trying to stop her from having the kid at first
But come to think of it, wasn't it for her own good?
Will it have been better if they had the kid together and then coming out five years later to say she was just a fling?
Forgive him for being Nostradumbass and not knowing he would need the kid later

Nigeria's not the US or the UK, money's caused sumn else
If he really wants his kid for the title, all he needs to do is pay some cops to arrest the woman
Get take the kid for the ceremony, bring back the kid and release the lady
Get my point, I'm not trying to say that is right, what I'm saying is that he's not as desperate as y'all think he is

But in my own opinion, it's not really advicable to let a kid grow up hating her dad, no matter what he's done
This is the same thing that happened to Jolie, it was recently she overcame that truama

LadyT: I live in the UK.  I know what bare means! I just found it funny that you type that way too.  I see you live in saff london  
I don't do slang.  I sound like a white girl I have been told whatever I say

Nah, sum slangs just manage to sneak into my nland vocab
That postcode should ring a bell if you watch BBC
BTW What end do you rep?

Thank you SKILLSKILL.

@ Stillwater,

Strangling?
For all u know, the man and the poster might be locked under a duvet as we speak. . . .
Choose ur words carefully.

@ Radiant,

There's no law in Nigeria. . . . . Its a different law for the RICH and anutha for the others.
This man can go to a court and get a decision to take custody of the child. . . . .I have heard of so many kangaroo court cases.
Of course, people know the right thing in Nigeria but the love of money is. . . . . . .

@ Sisikill,

Blimey. . . . . . this your analysis is making me heart quiver.

I am telling u this kid has no bearing on his title.
There's nuthing to suggest this man is now impotent. . . . He impregnated the poster in the first instance.
If he desperately needs a kid to front with. . . . .there are many lascivious women in Nigeria the guy can SCORE with.
Besides, there are many motherless babies' homes he can choose from to get a child and claim it was his long lost daughter.
This is Nigeria. . . . . .anything goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The issue of police threat bores down to his frustrations.
He never thunk the woman that gave him undiluted love 5 years ago can turn her back on him.
The man tried all methods and his efforts were futile. . . . what do u expect a man to do?
When dialogue fails, MEN go to war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still dont wanna heap blames on this man as this is still a one-sided story

@

Akinagirl:

Thank you radiant, I said that before, but he wants to keep on defending this dude.

Lol. . .I noticed that. I think he's just playing devils advocate ^{Something that's always fun to do especially on a friday evening} I'm familiar with some of his posts and he's usually on point. I'd hate to think he really believes half the things he's saying. So yep, I'm gonna go with the Devils Advocate thingy.

Dont you know that the world we live in now is full evil, to the extend that one can kill himself for what he want to get in life, Well,you been there and God has done well for you. What you have to do now is to stand and fight for your right. God be with u.

Jackal.:

@ Radiant,

There's no law in Nigeria. . . . . Its a different law for the RICH and anutha for the others.
This man can go to a court and get a decision to take custody of the child. . . . .I have heard of so many kangaroo court cases.
Of course, people know the right thing in Nigeria but the love of money is. . . . . . .

No baby. You'll be shocked at what the outcome will be if they ever step into a court. Of course if she meets a lawyer who knows what to do and not some junkie.

I will say it again, this man CAN NEVER take custody of this child, Jackal believe me. I know Nigeria is a mess but not everyone is messed up.

Eldee, just shut the hell up over there.

With God all things can be done if only she got faith and with our prayers,she can win it

Win what?

The case in the court of law

@ Radiant,

Babes, u must understand there's no legal aid in Nigeria.
This woman will be responsible for all the funds demanded to follow the case through. . . .Does she want all that stress for herself?
Like i have said, it's a country of the RICH.

If this had happened in the UK/US. . . .Of course, the man had no case but Nigeria is a different proposition.
U don't wanna break this woman's heart even more. . . . Pls join ma side of the debate and let her forgive and forget her baby daddy.
To err is human. . . to forgive is. . . .