Hello, You have been dating this gentleman for 10 years now? Wow, I too am dating a Nigerian gentleman, but I would never consider dating ANYONE (American or not) for that length of time. Have you and your son met his family? Has he ever mentioned having anything more than dating (like marriage perhaps)? I think any relationship has it's issues, and the success of the relationship will depend on whether you are equally committed to being in the relationship. I happen to believe that whatever is meant to be will be, I hope everything works out for you,

@jazzyred you said the sex is great. Have you anything else to say apart from sex and that you are a good cook! you really make a scandal out of white women because there are some dirty white sluts out there tht think sex is sooo important! well not to me and I would keep thinkgsl ike thats personal-as any decent respectable woman would. I am white/western myself but pleae, think before you speak. and you are wrong when you say that naija men marry older ladies for papers what anothe rignorant statement. Reality is sweetie. some of them would marry absolutely anyone for papers no matter what shape, age or size. Well, good luck with your efforts, I hope they will succ ;Deed.

oh tbowens 10 years! are you not married? why? and why is it that when a naija man meets a lady that he is serious about he marries her after as in a few months after or a year or two NOT TEN

Leilah,
You obviously have my posts confused with someone else, so I would suggest you read all of the posts in their entirety before responding and criticizing. First of all, I am an African American woman, I am not white! I only agreed with another post about the sex being great, and I only commented "hmmm" to the other person who made the statement about Naija men marrying older women. I would never say that, as I have no experience on that subject. My man has his papers. I could go on and on about the positive aspects of my relationship with my man, as there are many other things to say. For one he is extremely intelligent, ambitious and focused; something I rarely find in men period. We both have advanced degrees and I am currently pursuing my PhD. He encourages me constantly, and motivates me to the best me I can be. We have similar ideas about the type of life and lifestyle we would like to share. We can talk about anything on most any level, and I can't say that for a lot of men. He makes me laugh, and he really makes me feel like the woman I am. We enjoy each other's company whether we're relaxing at home or going out for the evening. We take exotic vacations together and he really likes to show me he values me as a person and the relationship that we have. Yes, I am a great cook, a fact I am very proud of. I didn't know how to cook these dishes, but I learned and that says a lot. Many non-African women do not take the time to embrace the Nigerian culture (which includes learning to cook the foods), and they wonder why these relationships do not work out. Whether you choose to believe it or not, cooking is very important, as well as nurturing your family in general. Sex is not everything, however, it too is an important aspect of any relationship and marriage. This is an open forum, and EVERYONE should feel free to express themselves without being criticized. I thought that was the whole purpose of the forum. Just so you know I am a very decent, educated, strong, black sista, and I ALWAYS think before I speak.

Yes well good luck to you. I am white and I can say in sincerety that I have embracred all aspetcs of nigerian culture and I know for a fact that if a nigerian man meets someone that he is really serious about he would want to marry her given his culture. This is not a colour complex. Women who speak openly abot sex are not respected. Simple but understandable. Good luck in your road jazzy. But really, make him marry you

Advancing the Kingdom!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the encouragement tnikkibowens! I will certainly communicate with you on Yahoo. This will actually be my last post in this forum,

thank god!!!

No i do not mean good ridance. I was not referring to culture I simply think 'dating' for ten year is hideous. But fair play to her for ebign so patient. I didn't mean to be cold hearted and its nothing to do with colour for heavens sake. Sure I'm not fully white myself (check my profile)

I didn't mean to push anyone away I'm so sorry jazzyred and NikkiTBowens. I guess some naija men really get on my nerves. As I have said its not about colour I am more like a white person but it doesn't matter. I;m sure your partners appreciate your interested in their culture (unlike mine)

Yes, you are so right, I actually am here to learn about the nigerian culture.

Thank you tbowens and SwtNsoFlyy! I really appreciate you! I joined Nairaland to learn more about the Nigerian culture. Unfortunately, I have encountered people like Leilah, who take the enjoyment out of the experience. I guess it's true, Misery really does like company.

It has been interesting reading these posts.

I am an Aussie girl who is serious about a Nigerian guy. I have known him for over 2 years now but we only got close early last year. We have never met but hopefully we will be able to do so this year. He has never asked me for anything. He actually helped me during a time I was scammed.

I have joined this site so I can hopefully understand more of about African culture. My man is from Edo.

He is a hardworking man. A person I really respect.

When he first won my heart he spent a lot of time with me and welcomed phone calls no matter what time it was. But now he is busy all the time with his business trying to earn enough money he says to be with me. We hardly spend any time together now. I do not believe any other woman is involved - I believe it is exactly as he says.

Is this typical behaviour of a Nigerian man? Once he has secured his love he then decides that he needs to works so much to provide for our future? Now I don't have any problem with hardworking people - I just wonder if it is normal to make such a sudden change like this. It is hard for me to understand. He always says that he loves me and he is doing this for us.

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks

For @CathiDee, this applies to any foreign women other than American women who is currently dating/marrying to Nigerian men at below:

Go look at existing Nairaland Family/Romance/Culture threads you will find many American Women date/marry Nigerian Men issues on the following links provided at below:

1. Why Do Singles In the US/UK Still Prefers To Go And Marry From Naija
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-39615.0.html

2. Is It Possible To Marry And Genuinely Love A White Lady?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-94894.0.html

3. American Women That Marry Nigerian Men
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13194.0.html

4. Nigerian Men & African-American Women
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-406.0.html

5. Why Am I Often Approached By African Men? (An African-American woman)
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-10421.0.html

6. Do African Women Dislike Black American Women?
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-21388.32.html

7. What's Expected Of Nigerian Women?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-65395.0.html

8. Are You In Black and White Marriage Or Relationship? How Are You Finding It?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-96888.0.html

9. Nigerian Love
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-98635.0.html

10. Interracial Relationships Are You For, Against, or Indifferent?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-98030.0.html

11. American and Nigerian Love
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-99477.0.html

---

HOTTEST TIPS: How to bring your Fiancee/Married Nigeran Men entering USA visa:

1. Information For An American Coming to Nigeria To Get Married
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-97494.0.html

2. Going through the immigrant process to bring Nigerian husband to the US
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-63879.0.html

---

Powerful helpful relationship tools:

Please so kindly to read the following existing topics to refresh your new next steps---
forget about the color, nationality, and major generalizations you heard at below:

7 Reasons Why Females Get Hurt In Relationship
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-94423.0.html

10 Insights You should take steps into serious relationship before you get marry her/him

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-95533.0.html

quite explicit

i met a guy who told me he would only marry an american for visa and i know a guy who really loves his american girlfriend.
i also know a guy who actually married an american for visa. he got his green card and is currently going through divorce processes (he has wife nd kids back home in naija). i don't know him personally though he's just a friend of my dad.
you just have to find the right one i guess.
goodluck in your searches.

NJean,
I appreciate you.
A typical Nigeria guy is caring,warm,affectionate and homely.
Most times,it's not because of what they want from you but just being with you.
However,the buzz sentence is deeper than whatever you can imagin.
Once a guy is ok with you,it can only get better.
I'm a married man and O know how it feels.
Enjoy your guy and wishing you the very best.

Hello Lucieo,

I am just browsing about nigerian men coz i happened to have a chatmate from Yoruban tribe of Nigeria.  I became interested in you upon reading all the info about your nigerian fiance.  I am just curious coz some of the details u said corresponds to the person i am chatting with now.  Are u still in contact with that african man?  Do u have pictures of him?  If you have can u send it to me.  I am not concluding that he may be the same person i met but i just want to make sure and clear my doubting minds now.  Thanks.

CathiDee:

It has been interesting reading these posts.

I am an Aussie girl who is serious about a Nigerian guy. I have known him for over 2 years now but we only got close early last year. We have never met but hopefully we will be able to do so this year. He has never asked me for anything. He actually helped me during a time I was scammed.

I have joined this site so I can hopefully understand more of about African culture. My man is from Edo.

He is a hardworking man. A person I really respect.

When he first won my heart he spent a lot of time with me and welcomed phone calls no matter what time it was. But now he is busy all the time with his business trying to earn enough money he says to be with me. We hardly spend any time together now. I do not believe any other woman is involved - I believe it is exactly as he says.

Is this typical behaviour of a Nigerian man? Once he has secured his love he then decides that he needs to works so much to provide for our future? Now I don't have any problem with hardworking people - I just wonder if it is normal to make such a sudden change like this. It is hard for me to understand. He always says that he loves me and he is doing this for us.

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks

Is there no man in Australia? A man won your heart when you have never never even met him?

such bollocks jare

Sweetie007:

Hello Lucieo,

I am just browsing about nigerian men because i happened to have a chatmate from Yoruban tribe of Nigeria. I became interested in you upon reading all the info about your nigerian fiance. I am just curious because some of the details u said corresponds to the person i am chatting with now. Are u still in contact with that african man? Do u have pictures of him? If you have can u send it to me. I am not concluding that he may be the same person i met but i just want to make sure and clear my doubting minds now. Thanks.

A chatmate says it all, doesn't it?

Marry someone you love and who makes you happy.

Hello all,
I'm a young, physically fit, african american woman in my twenties living in the united states. I don't consider myself to be desperate or lonely, but I do believe that I have fallen in love with a man who is my age from Nigeria. He is from Akwa Ibom State but currently lives in Lagos. He is the sweetest, most intelligent, caring, and understanding man I have ever met and at this point in our relationship he gives me no reason not to trust him or doubt his feelings for me. I truly do believe he cares for me because he does all he can to make me happy without asking for anything in return. He has never asked me for money or anything to make me suspect that he is a scammer. However, I have read countless stories on the web about Nigerian scammers who prey on the hearts of women in the US and these stories have raised fears within me. The stories I have heard about are endless and they say that Nigeria is the number one country of men who scam american women. This has also caused me to become paranoid and doubt his love for me. Lately I have been asking him so many questions and even though he answers them all, I can tell that he is hurt by my sudden lack of trust in him. I have known him less than a year and we are already talking about marriage in our future and he wants me to come and meet his parents. After that he wants to come here on his visa and start a life and a family with me. He assures me that he is not interested in me for green card purposes and that he can come over as a visitor and keep renewing the visa he already has. I have never been in this situation before but my heart and mind both are telling me that he is a good man. I don't want my fears to drive him away especially if he is indeed the good man that I really feel he is. So I need to know your thoughts and opinions.

Heavensnt:

Hello all,
I'm a young, physically fit, african american woman in my twenties living in the united states. I don't consider myself to be desperate or lonely, but I do believe that I have fallen in love with a man who is my age from Nigeria. He is from Akwa Ibom State but currently lives in Lagos. He is the sweetest, most intelligent, caring, and understanding man I have ever met and at this point in our relationship he gives me no reason not to trust him or doubt his feelings for me. I truly do believe he cares for me because he does all he can to make me happy without asking for anything in return. He has never asked me for money or anything to make me suspect that he is a scammer.

However, I have read countless stories on the web about Nigerian scammers who prey on the hearts of women in the US and these stories have raised fears within me. The stories I have heard about are endless and they say that Nigeria is the number one country of men who scam american women. This has also caused me to become paranoid and doubt his love for me. Lately I have been asking him so many questions and even though he answers them all, I can tell that he is hurt by my sudden lack of trust in him. I have known him less than a year and we are already talking about marriage in our future and he wants me to come and meet his parents.

After that he wants to come here on his visa and start a life and a family with me. He assures me that he is not interested in me for green card purposes and that he can come over as a visitor and keep renewing the visa he already has. I have never been in this situation before but my heart and mind both are telling me that he is a good man. I don't want my fears to drive him away especially if he is indeed the good man that I really feel he is. So I need to know your thoughts and opinions.

He lives in Nigeria and you live in the US?  How did you guys get to know eachother?

Heavensnt:

Hello all,
I'm a young, physically fit, african american woman in my twenties living in the united states. I don't consider myself to be desperate or lonely, but I do believe that I have fallen in love with a man who is my age from Nigeria. He is from Akwa Ibom State but currently lives in Lagos. He is the sweetest, most intelligent, caring, and understanding man I have ever met and at this point in our relationship he gives me no reason not to trust him or doubt his feelings for me. I truly do believe he cares for me because he does all he can to make me happy without asking for anything in return. He has never asked me for money or anything to make me suspect that he is a scammer. However, I have read countless stories on the web about Nigerian scammers who prey on the hearts of women in the US and these stories have raised fears within me. The stories I have heard about are endless and they say that Nigeria is the number one country of men who scam american women. This has also caused me to become paranoid and doubt his love for me. Lately I have been asking him so many questions and even though he answers them all, I can tell that he is hurt by my sudden lack of trust in him. I have known him less than a year and we are already talking about marriage in our future and he wants me to come and meet his parents. After that he wants to come here on his visa and start a life and a family with me. He assures me that he is not interested in me for green card purposes and that he can come over as a visitor and keep renewing the visa he already has. I have never been in this situation before but my heart and mind both are telling me that he is a good man. I don't want my fears to drive him away especially if he is indeed the good man that I really feel he is. So I need to know your thoughts and opinions.

You know so much about a man you've never met

Almond Joy and Blatant,

The answer to your questions are that I met him online (myspace), and No, I do not claim to know everything about him. I only stated what he has told me about himself and that as of right now, he gives me no reason to think he is being dishonest about anything. He has been a gentlemen and completely unselfish, and has never asked me for anything besides my love. I know that there are alot of cold-hearted scammers and believe me I have been keeping my eyes and ears open with him but honestly I don't see him as being that way. We talk everyday via mobile phone, text messages, emails, and webcam. He has a visa already so I don't think his interest in me is about papers. However, we did happen to fall in love somewhat quickly are we are talking about marriage and starting a family but I have now become stressed and doubtful due to the many stories I have read about women who were in my situation with stories that started out as beautifully as mine but it ended terribly each time.

Heavensnt:

He is the sweetest, most intelligent, caring, and understanding man I have ever met and at this point in our relationship he gives me no reason not to trust him or doubt his feelings for me. I truly do believe he cares for me because he does all he can to make me happy without asking for anything in return.

I hear you

Foreign women never learn.
Later they will have very bad things to say about naija guys.

Blatant,

You say foreign women never learn, so are you saying that american women should never date a Nigerian guy because they are ALL bad? If that is in fact what you are saying then that is really sad. There are scammers, gamers, users, and abusers in EVERY country, state, city, and town all over the WORLD, and not only in Nigeria. I cannot and will not accept that 100% nigerian men are scammers. That is not fair to say. There are scammers right here in the united states. And for those who ask why I don't just simply date an american man, well it's because I have had my fair share of heartbreak from men right here in the good ol' US and I am ready for a change. African men intrigue me and I find them to be very interesting. I am an african american woman and the decendant of slaves as well so we all are not too different from eachother other than accent and geographic location because in the united states there is poverty, sickness, crime, struggle, racism, and discrimination as well. But to get back on topic, the man in my life right now is the first Nigerian and foreigner I have wanted to be in a relationship with and yes I met him online which raises concerns for some, however he lives in Nigeria and I live here in the US so where else would I have met him? Nigeria is not around the corner. Now I'm not defending the men who have scammed american women by saying this, but to be honest with you, the women were the ones that sent money over there and engaged in illegal activities for these scammers so you can't blame only the scammers and some of these women have to take responsibility for their actions as well. It goes both ways. If my nigerian man was always asking me for money or for me to make huge sacrifices then I would know he is a fraud. But he has not asked me for anything. I think this is a good discussion and I would like to hear from all of you. I just never knew that Nigerian men had such a bad reputation until recently.

Please dont get me wrong: I have not said he's a scammer.

African men intrigue me and I find them to be very interesting

Great reason to want to get married

All the best