Hello Guys

I intend to enter a committed relationship soon and stop been on the sidelines, courtesy my parents reminding me I should soon start getting ready. But I have one weakness I am easily attracted to different women at once and I easily get tired of a particular lady after a short while. Currently there are 5 ladies, 2 younger and 3 older than me, very beautiful in their own way and quite intelligent... i like the 5 of them in different ways. I am not that extremely good looking, Rich or have the best of character irrespective of this 4 of them is giving me strong positive signals, making it hard to choose whom to pursue to start a relationsip with the 5th is give me signal but not so strong.

Looking at threads here, I know cheating is a big deal... Given the havoc it can wreck in a relationship and i for one detest it.

I really don't want to enter a relationship and break a lady's heart by cheating, or dumping her with no solid reason. I believe in treating a lady right, the way I want someone to treat my sister, treating her as my queen, my one and only with love care and respect.. with a razor sharp like focus with no side chick distracting me from her...

How do one avoid cheating in marriage or a relationship?
Have you ever been attracted to more than one person how did you handle it, and decide on the right one?
Am I going through a phase that will pass away with time?
Should i wait till i am ready to really commit

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful responses.
#Matthew Briggs

Dude, i was!
And God, i didn't handle it, it nearly handled me!

The situation tried mixing hypertension plus stroke say make i swallow, i refused!

When d second lady stopped callin cos she was out of town to take on a new job and has found another guy she goes out with, i was so happy i almost gave a testimony at the curch!

I swear.

Hello. How are you doing ?

A good book on avoiding cheating is 'Finishing Strong' by Steve Farrar. A nice read. Farrar advises one to be honest with the spouse not only about finances and trivialities but also about his feelings for other women. Emphasis is placed on watching your thoughts: one shouldn't, for instance, fantasize about a lady's body.

I think being attracted to other ladies will be a part of someone. At the very least, expect you'll appreciate a lady's physical features/talents/character. It's possible aging can make one less prone to being attracted to the opposite sex but I don't think it applies to all aged persons. If I'm faced with choosing out of a group of ladies I find equally attractive I'll pick one with the best balance of beauty and personality.

Of course, I'm attracted to more than one lady. 3 in particular have made a huge mark. The first a pretty Yoruba chic called Ariyo, the second a fair Edo girl called Gift and the last a sweet girl called Efe. I expect other males will confirm that males are attracted to more than one woman.

It is all about being determined,committed and objective ------Having some morals and manners,core-values,inner conviction and zeal that I have a wife @home and she is my wife and my life---despite her shortcomings (No man is perfect) !!!


All the above do not stop the brain/mind to wander,ability to control oneself when faced with such adversary is what makes a MAN(one who can stand his ground on his core values) !!!

Uyi Iredia: Hello. How are you doing ?

A good book on avoiding cheating is 'Finishing Strong' by Steve Farrar. A nice read. Farrar advises one to be honest with the spouse not only about finances and trivialities but also about his feelings for other women. Emphasis is placed on watching your thoughts: one shouldn't, for instance, fantasize about a lady's body.

Of course, I'm attracted to more than one lady. 3 in particular have made a huge mark. The first a pretty Yoruba chic called Ariyo, the second a fair Edo girl called Gift and the last a sweet girl called Efe. I expect other males will confirm that males are attracted to more than one woman.

I will definitely go get the book. Glad to know u are going through the same thing., how did you choose the right one?... thanks man.

donroxy: It is all about being determined,committed and objective ------Having some morals and manners,core-values,inner conviction and zeal that I have a wife @home and she is my wife and my life---despite her shortcomings (No man is perfect) !!!


All the above do not stop the brain/mind to wander,ability to control oneself when faced with such adversary is what makes a MAN(one who can stand his ground on his core values) !!!

Donroxy I by default see my self as a determined, committed and objective person.... but the last thread about a man who had an emotional affairs and the comments that followed, made me ponder on this issue... maybe I need to work on my mind again.

You are on point with this statement "Real man is one who can stand his ground on his core value."..


@Slide waxie you gave testimony that was serious...

When u're attracted to two or more persons at the same time, then something is wrong. It simply means you don't know what you want and you can't prioritize your needs.

As a matter of fact, if u break up with someone you claim to love or have loved, it is only expected that you take a while before you start another one, the lessons learnt from the previous should guide you and make u wiser in the next relationship!

That's why it bothers me when people say they've been in three, four or more relationships before!

It's a shame when you're beaten once and you're not shy at all.

swtchicgurl: When u're attracted to two or more persons at the same time, then something is wrong. It simply means you don't know what you want and you can't prioritize your needs.

As a matter of fact, if u break up with someone you claim to love or have loved, it is only expected that you take a while before you start another one, the lessons learnt from the previous should guide you and make u wiser in the next relationship!

That's why it bothers me when people say they've been in three, four or more relationships before!

It's a shame when you're beaten once and you're not shy at all.

That's the weird part, I know what I want.... the 5 of them have my dream quality at varying degrees...
I really agree with you with the break up part... I wouldn't want that to happen to me or cause someone to experience such because of me.
Thanks for your input "sweet chic girl"

190: im been attracted to several women at the same time

how did you handle it, and decide on the right one.
How do one avoid cheating in marriage or a relationship?

Matthew briggs:

I will definitely go get the book. Glad to know u are going through the same thing., how did you choose the right one?... thanks man.

Yeah. It's a nice book with lots of interesting anecdotes. I haven't chosen anyone since marriage isn't my priority now. They all remain friends. But if I was to choose, it'll be Efe. I think she best samples the said balance I'm looking for.

swtchicgurl: When u're attracted to two or more persons at the same time, then something is wrong. It simply means you don't know what you want and you can't prioritize your needs.

As a matter of fact, if u break up with someone you claim to love or have loved, it is only expected that you take a while before you start another one, the lessons learnt from the previous should guide you and make u wiser in the next relationship!

That's why it bothers me when people say they've been in three, four or more relationships before!

It's a shame when you're beaten once and you're not shy at all.

Since you imply it's wrong to have an attraction for multiple ladies/men (as the case may be); lemme not catch you saying you like 2 or male Nairalanders, 2 or more females, 2 or more phones . . . catch my drift !

Matthew briggs:

That's the weird part, I know what I want.... the 5 of them have my dream quality at varying degrees...
I really agree with you with the break up part... I wouldn't want that to happen to me or cause someone to experience such because of me.
Thanks for your input "sweet chic girl"

Let ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ make an illustration:
After an interview session, the panel shortlists a panel of four or five potential candidates for a job position. These canditates have met the technical requirements, but they can only take one of them. Then they consider other less-important things like marital status, sex, confidence, even religion, depending on job, just to create a narrow advantage.

So, look closely at the five of them, little details count.

Uyi Iredia:

Since you imply it's wrong to have an attraction for multiple ladies/men (as the case may be); lemme not catch you saying you like 2 or male Nairalanders, 2 or more females, 2 or more phones . . . catch my drift !

Lol, I agree with u. I have one of somethings. Most importantly, even one God, the Almighty, Father of ♍Ɣ Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

swtchicgurl:

Let ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ make an illustration:
After an interview session, the panel shortlists a panel of four or five potential candidates for a job position. These canditates have met the technical requirements, but they can only take one of them. Then they consider other less-important things like marital status, sex, confidence, even religion, depending on job, just to create a narrow advantage.

So, look closely at the five of them, little details count.

^^^^ I get ur point, will definitely keep that in mind.

Matthew briggs:

^^^^ I get ur point, will definitely keep that in mind.

ok

@mathew briggs welcome !!!

swtchicgurl: When u're attracted to two or more persons at the same time, then something is wrong. It simply means you don't know what you want and you can't prioritize your needs.

As a matter of fact, if u break up with someone you claim to love or have loved, it is only expected that you take a while before you start another one, the lessons learnt from the previous should guide you and make u wiser in the next relationship!

That's why it bothers me when people say they've been in three, four or more relationships before!

It's a shame when you're beaten once and you're not shy at all.

There is nothing wrong in being attracted to two or more ladies @ the same time ......absolutely nothing,we re humanbeing we fancy varieties ...........


.... U can't be eating same rice,cooked same way for one week without getting bored ........ But when it comes to humanbeing which is a living thing,the emotional consequence of one's action on the other party must be considered .........

Thats why we implore our men/women to diversify,learn how to initiate/create new things .....



And no matter how much u think u have learnt in ur previous relationsip tis never enough to ensure success in ur present one .......What u would have gained is just maturity and diversity(how to manage varieties of issues as they come ) .......Ur hubby/wiffy are humanbeing thus bound to change @ any fuc.king moment !!!

Mathewe briggs;

As for who to choose among ur GFs .....Prioritised ur expected desired characteristics ur woman should possessed,then cross-check ur lists with individual xtics of each girl ......


The one u assumed has a maximum score is ur woman to marry .......and whatever shortcomings that occurs therefore must be endured by U !!!


U have made ur decisions !!!

#inConnormeads' voice in Ghost of girlfriends past ''am not a woman hater,i love women; only dat i love 'em all

donroxy: @mathew briggs welcome !!!There is nothing wrong in being attracted to two or more ladies @ the same time ......absolutely nothing,we re humanbeing we fancy varieties ...........


.... U can't be eating same rice,cooked same way for one week without getting bored ........ But when it comes to humanbeing which is a living thing,the emotional consequence of one's action on the other party must be considered .........

Thats why we implore our men/women to diversify,learn how to initiate/create new things .....



And no matter how much u think u have learnt in ur previous relationsip tis never enough to ensure success in ur present one .......What u would have gained is just maturity and diversity(how to manage varieties of issues as they come ) .......Ur hubby/wiffy are humanbeing thus bound to change @ any fuc.king moment !!!

Ok, go ahead and change partners like sanitary pads! It is well with you.

donroxy: Mathewe briggs;

As for who to choose among ur GFs .....Prioritised ur expected desired characteristics ur woman should possessed,then cross-check ur lists with individual xtics of each girl ......


The one u assumed has a maximum score is ur woman to marry .......and whatever shortcomings that occurs therefore must be endured by U !!!


U have made ur decisions !!!

Lol not thinking of marriage yet... and they are no my Gf's yet... but I get you point... thanks man

swtchicgurl:

Ok, go ahead and change partners like sanitary pads! It is well with you.

Momma,

it seems u don't comprehend easily anyhmmm sha No probs


Am Just being objective and holistic here ........
U have to endeavour to make ur man to love you viceversa NOT to put it out on him as ur primary right even when u do not deserved it !!!

It is well momma !!!

donroxy: Momma,

it seems u don't comprehend easily anyhmmm sha No probs


Am Just being objective and holistic here ........
U have to endeavour to make ur man to love you viceversa NOT to put it out on him as ur primary right even when u do not deserved it !!!

It is well momma !!!

Ok. Lol @momma. Abeg, I'm a young lady. Lol

I wonder what kinda advice the op would have got if he were to be a female with 5 different boyfriends at the same time.

Seriously, 5

alutacontinua: I wonder what kinda advice the op would have got if he were to be a female with 5 different boyfriends at the same time.

Seriously, 5

Lol... Never said they were my girl friends. They are just friends...
The Downside is that I Kind of like the 5 of Them. Reread my post for more insight.