It often follows that once a man and woman are married, babies are expected to start dropping. 1 year passes without kids and family members start using style 2 ask when the baby is coming. 2 years and your mother-in-law demands to know if you are barren. 3 years and people are looking for pastor to deliver you. 4 years, aaaah I wont go there. But honestly what do you think about this tendency in the Nigerian society for family members to be in your business? I dont plan to have kids right away after marriage, maybe wait 2-3 yrs, tell me will I survive?

Sure u will survive it,

so far it is the agreement between you and your husband, just be ready to close ur ears to the noise around you concerning the issue and be focused.

The heat will definitely come, especially from your in laws, but jsut be prepared.

@poster
Its your marriage not your parents' nor yourv in-laws'
Waiting a little while longer before bearing kids is for both of you to decide.
Have a good reason , in agreement with your spouse and stick to it come hell or high water.
People get married for different reasons, so why did u get married?, answer the question and stick to it in your heart.

I have a friend who is married but mentioned to me that he would have loved to wait a little longer before having kids, because he wants to enjoy the 100% attention from his wife, !
So pal bottomline what do you want?

lol. Yes, our people are always like that.

You and your husband just have to explain to them that you are just taking your time, but I don't think
this would keep them from asking.

kola oloye:

It is not a must,just a matter of choice.

Easier said than done. The society we live in dosent give us much of a choice and thats the fact!! Its not compulsory, but its important.

babyx:

@poster
Its your marriage not your parents' nor yourv in-laws'
Waiting a little while longer before bearing kids is for both of you to decide.
Have a good reason , in agreement with your spouse and stick to it come hell or high water.
People get married for different reasons, so why did u get married?, answer the question and stick to it in your heart.

I have a friend who is married but mentioned to me that he would have loved to wait a little longer before having kids, because he wants to enjoy the 100% attention from his wife, !
So pal bottomline what do you want?

Yeah would definitely want to enjoy time alone with my husband and settle into married life first. Also finances must be sorted out before babies start coming. Is just that why can't people mind their own business and face their own marriages? And why is it the norm for people to have kids straight after marriage?

Ujujoan:

Easier said than done. The society we live in dosent give us much of a choice and thats the fact!! Its not compulsory, but its important.

Why do you say it is important? Please explain

Well, procreation is a divine order form God, Multiply, fill the Earth. The idea is that to procreate, you have to get married so as to avoid fornication. So why shd you then get married and decide not to have kids yet. Then why rush into the marriage?? why not wait till you are ready to have kids. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.

Ujujoan:

Well, procreation is a divine order form God, Multiply, fill the Earth. The idea is that to procreate, you have to get married so as to avoid fornication. So why should you then get married and decide not to have kids yet. Then why rush into the marriage?? why not wait till you are ready to have kids. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.

Have you forgotten that temptation is real? It is better to get married and stay as long
as you wish before having children than to be indulging in pre-marital sex.
What i will not support is the husband and wife going for abortion when "the unexpected" happens.

Ujujoan:

You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.

What order are you talking about?

Preferably before.  To make sure I don't have to change their names and my name just incase I choose not to get married.   Don't have to be married to have kids.  Not really related in this day and age!

That was old school. Not in vogue anymore.

I waited 3 years to take care of my first baby husband

No

is always good to wait to enjoy the marrage before baby  start to come , i got married 2004 and have my baby 2007  i told my family to mind their business is my live to live , having kids straight after wedding is not a must so do what you want not what their want you to do.

Ajebota:

Yeah would definitely want to enjoy time alone with my husband and settle into married life first. Also finances must be sorted out before babies start coming. Is just that why can't people mind their own business and face their own marriages? And why is it the norm for people to have kids straight after marriage?

Thank your stars you're too far away from prying eyes of extended family. You and your husband can sit down and plan your family the way you want it without interference.

Why will you force me to have my own kids?? They no born u well.

theoretically its not a must and no one can tell the couples what to do,but in reality its not that easy to discountenance parents,friend's concerns and questions,especially nigerian family

No.
I think it's best to enjoy your marriage and your husband, before thinking about having a kid.
Take some trips, enjoying being alone, being together without interruption.
Remember what they say, "Once you have children, it's not your life anymore."
Most of your time, you spend it to take care of the kids and make sure to teach them what's wrong ad what's right.
And don't forget, your husband came first. So you cannot forget to "baby" him and being a wife to him.

Personally I don't understand people who have kids immediately after the wedding. It's like DONT YOU WANNA ENJOY YOURSELF AND BREATHE? But hey that's their own business.

Before you have to run after rugrats and screaming your head off and gain stupid weight and all that nonsense. I think waiting a year or two amkes alot more sense.

if the whole family crap is the fear, then don't marry someone from an ignorant family. Simple

@topic,not a MUST.i personally wud want to stay 2 yrs after wedlock b4 having kids.Have fun,explore and erhmm a little adventure.

its not a must to have kids after the marriage as long as u and ur husband have agreed on when u want kids why not enjoy each other b4kids atart droppin and all that seems to e in ur mind and thanks to the Nigerian mentality ur in-laws n vn ur own mom will most certainly disturb u when dey dnt c kids after a year or two so be prepared n just do wat u v in mind. 'cos wen d kids start droppin they wnt vn remember u waited some years.

Its totally up 2u.