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There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) - Literature (105) - Nairaland

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Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by cheruv: 11:18pm On Sep 15, 2013
Chai...maria fit be dey plan use tsibiy do juju but she forget say everybody get levels
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by eunisam: 11:20pm On Sep 15, 2013
For my mind oooh

3 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by shugarken(m): 11:33pm On Sep 15, 2013
01emek: Mr zubby,i must commend your hard work,i had being reading without a comment.you had made my day.i am also from Enugu state,from nkanu east local govt area! And Ugbawka town in particular.it's really nice meeting a brother on nairaland!
and I'm from ugbawka too...nice to meet a brother here
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by dandollaz: 4:53am On Sep 16, 2013
The eagle has landed finally. Zubby d' virus I hailed you baddo.
Have been following the story for dayz non stop very captivating one indeed.guy u too much at least flow1759 has a twins in NL now,the baddest guys.
But zubby the impression you made about anambra is partially true on the issue of thinking they are more smarter than other people.I'm from anambra and whenever I travel to onitsha they behave as if they know all but when you start speaking English they will give you gap because they can't operate at that ftequecy as Nwa pitakwa.
But the second tot u got ur smartness from onitsha and converted it to more suitable angel.becos I'm a traveller to around nija and some part of Enugu behave like Hausa people that is why the generalize the whole thing by calling them wawa as if they are inferior but those ones in Enugu town are typical anambra in nature.Thanks for making this my break which is ending the morning memorable one.soon be on chopper heading to deep blue ocean.ride on zubby d' virus,ozoigbondu na Berlin,zubby umunwa more aradite to your pen.
Still I ugobuzuo
dan$

3 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by SailorXY: 8:24am On Sep 16, 2013
Hmmm finally I made to the end #phew#
Oga Zubby, I must say I respect your moves & personality. It is not easy to survive on foreign soils, talk more of living well above average there! I must meet you one day Oga Zubby
#must thingz grin grin grin
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by temhab(f): 8:53am On Sep 16, 2013
Na by force to giv madam Comfort money Ride on jare Zubby
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Nduking92(m): 9:07am On Sep 16, 2013
Mazi Zubby.we ar waiting for u sir.
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by zanga420: 9:55am On Sep 16, 2013
dandollaz: The eagle has landed finally. Zubby d' virus I hailed you baddo.
Have been following the story for dayz non stop very captivating one indeed.guy u too much at least flow1759 has a twins in NL now,the baddest guys.
But zubby the impression you made about anambra is partially true on the issue of thinking they are more smarter than other people.I'm from anambra and whenever I travel to onitsha they behave as if they know all but when you start speaking English they will give you gap because they can't operate at that ftequecy as Nwa pitakwa.
But the second tot u got ur smartness from onitsha and converted it to more suitable angel.becos I'm a traveller to around nija and some part of Enugu behave like Hausa people that is why the generalize the whole thing by calling them wawa as if they are inferior but those ones in Enugu town are typical anambra in nature.Thanks for making this my break which is ending the morning memorable one.soon be on chopper heading to deep blue ocean.ride on zubby d' virus,ozoigbondu na Berlin,zubby umunwa more aradite to your pen.
Still I ugobuzuo
dan$
good analysis. Nice one
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by ZUBY77(m): 10:46am On Sep 16, 2013
Chapter 123.

There was a Police check point at the head of the Benin bypass. They stopped me and asked where I was going, where I was coming from and why I was where I was coming from.
Silly Questions.

I told them that I had come from Lagos the day before and that I was there for a visit.

After checking my papers, they begged that I find them something. Funny.
I gave the N500, and from their obvious victory waving, I knew that I gave them more than they expected.
On a high speed, I drove past Okada and the entire Edo state and slowed down a bit when I crossed Over that small bridge that demacated Edo and Ondo State.

I ate food at Ore and proceeded to Lagos. I believed that I had cunningly escaped a tragedy in Edo state. I was so convinced that Maria wanted me to give Madam Comfort money for a reason. I was also so sure that they had discussed me before we came to Benin. We lived in a terrible country. During the small time that I had driven on Nigerian Roads, I had seen numerous mad men and women who walked along the road daily. Some of them were not naturaly mad. Some where made mad by some mixture of events that went right or wrong depending on the intentions of the perpetrator.

As I drove home alone on that warn morning, I wondered what Maria had planned to do with me.
Was she planning to make me her husband by using charm made with my money? Things like that could go wrong and when it happen, one could become dead or mad or a puppet husband.

Was she planning to perform some kind of rituals with me?
I even wondered if she knew what I did with Madam Grace.
''In this World of uncertainties, the safest way to be safe is to suspect everything and trust nothing, don't even trust yourself''

Yes, I didn't trust myself too. That great book called Bible had given us an example of what a woman can do in the books of Judges chapter 16. It was a story of Samson And Delilah. Whether the story was true or not, we were supposed to learn something from it.

From that day, right inside my car, I decided that I would be dealing with women on my own terms.
( The last time I met with a Nairalander at Enugu, I had to walk around the premises where she directed me to come, had to check the place out first before calling her that I was there. No offence to the beautiful girl, It was just a policy).

The thing that helped me the most was that I suspected Maria of planning something before we went to Edo. She had started being such a nice and homely woman all of a sudden. That was a girl I met at the beach on a transparent swimming trunk sipping cocktail. That was a girl who initially went to night clubs everynight, even when we newly started seeing each other. How she turned to that nice home trained-house cleaning-wife material overnight was suspicious and I was a very sensitive person. Every single thing she did or said usually got scrutinized and analyzed by my brain quickly. She was an Edo girl who had conquered Europe like I did and returned without smelling the prison house. She should be considered dangerous and clever. ( No disrespect to Edo people. This is entirely my opinion and not general)

I got home and rested until the evening. Then I called Daisy.
I needed to be with her for a while. She was the only one whom I believed, had the purest of hearts among all the girls I had been with. She didn't pretend or tried to impress. She was just herself. She was the type that could be trusted to a higher degree but not entirely. She was the type who would be excited if you meet with her people. But as fate would have it, she was carrying the Osu tag. A tag that I could ignore and face the consequences but since I couldn't yet measure the level of the consequences that would follow her, I had decided to relax and stay on the background, Atleast for the time being.

'' Am angry with you'' she said as soon as she answered the call.
I didn't want to argue or ask questions, I just told her that I understood why and that I knew how she felt. She said she could come the next day but not sure.

As I awaited the return of Maria from the Edo state, I made a mental list of everything in my house. I wanted to make sure that nothing illegal or incriminating was there. There was non.
Maria could come with Police to claim one thing or the other. I knew how silly some women reason sometimes. It was important that I prepared for uncertainties.

I called Jude and asked him to meet with me the following day. It was time to talk about the Marijuana business in the Ondo forests.


" The one permanent emotion of the
inferior man is fear - fear of the
unknown, the complex, the
inexplicable. What he wants above
everything else is safety."

43 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by IdeeEsperanza(m): 11:25am On Sep 16, 2013
Nice one Mr. Zuby! Happy new week!! cool
btw, 1st to comment after today's 1st dose wink
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by eunisam: 11:27am On Sep 16, 2013
woooohsh
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Ofido(m): 11:28am On Sep 16, 2013
cant wait to read maria's explanation
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by achi4u(m): 11:41am On Sep 16, 2013
Alot of surprises.


I dey kampe
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Tinynita(f): 11:59am On Sep 16, 2013
Ofido: cant wait to read maria's explanation
u've been dreaming 4 too long...wakeup
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Laxy009(m): 12:04pm On Sep 16, 2013
Nice update oga zubby. More ink to ur pen. Tank God u finally conquered maria nd her plan attacks by ur smartness and cleverness.
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by adegwurulez(m): 1:03pm On Sep 16, 2013
"no offence to dey beautifull girl" dat should calm her nerves
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by adegwurulez(m): 1:07pm On Sep 16, 2013
no wonder, last tym i gave zubby #30 million he insisted we use 5k out of the money to buy drinks
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by cordss(m): 1:34pm On Sep 16, 2013
i really need to drastically reduce the way i trust people.....am learning!!!
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by achi4u(m): 1:46pm On Sep 16, 2013
cordss: i really need to drastically reduce the way i trust people.....am learning!!!
gringringrin

ok
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by achi4u(m): 1:47pm On Sep 16, 2013
cordss: i really need to drastically reduce the way i trust people.....am learning!!!
gringringrin

Are you a learner?
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by drnairalov: 1:57pm On Sep 16, 2013
E don tey wey Zubby bad uno, just got a pix of zubby wen he waz younger

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Ofido(m): 2:25pm On Sep 16, 2013
Tinynita: u've been dreaming 4 too long...wakeup

why e dey scratch you for too too?
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by FoxyFlow(m): 2:27pm On Sep 16, 2013
While we wait for Zubby.... Do this maths abeg

POLITICAL MATHS: (MTH419)
Show your workings:

If APGA+CPC+ANPP+ACN = APC
and EFCC+ICPC+GEJ+JEGA = PDP,

(a) Using Pythagoras theory prove that: PDP =APC.
(ii) Using Almighty Formula where JEGA is constant
what is the value of PDP?

(b) If Tinubu/Buhari/ Okorocha varies, what is
the coefficient of APC.

(c) If PDP is constant, what is the cube root of rigging
coefficient? Take pi=3.14

(d) Use Leibnitz theory & explain all the answers above before 2015.

NO CHEATING. Your time starts now....GOODLUCK...

7 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Datshyguy(m): 2:56pm On Sep 16, 2013
Foxy_Flow: While we wait for Zubby.... Do this maths abeg

POLITICAL MATHS: (MTH419)
Show your workings:

If APGA+CPC+ANPP+ACN = APC
and EFCC+ICPC+GEJ+JEGA = PDP,

(a) Using Pythagoras theory prove that: PDP =APC.
(ii) Using Almighty Formula where JEGA is constant
what is the value of PDP?

(b) If Tinubu/Buhari/ Okorocha varies, what is
the coefficient of APC.

(c) If PDP is constant, what is the cube root of rigging
coefficient? Take pi=3.14

(d) Use Leibnitz theory & explain all the answers above before 2015.

NO CHEATING. Your time starts now....GOODLUCK...
no b small thing o, did u compose dis too?
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by kentochi(m): 2:59pm On Sep 16, 2013
All i can sayoooooooo give us more update!
The BOSS you are doing nice work here thanks
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Datshyguy(m): 3:00pm On Sep 16, 2013
cool
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Tinynita(f): 3:19pm On Sep 16, 2013
Ofido:

why e dey scratch you for too too?
u sound mentally deranged....u need 2b locked up in a mental institution....yaba left is stil open so go back 2ur customized bedspace there

1 Like

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by FoxyFlow(m): 3:34pm On Sep 16, 2013
Datshyguy:
no b small thing o, did u compose dis too?

Nooo... I lifted it from a friend's status on facebook. If you dey wait for poem, you won't have to wait for long....
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by Sondy(f): 3:42pm On Sep 16, 2013
One thing I've noticed about Zubby is that...He hardly leaves him home without informing some1..either his brother or his cousin even in far away Germany.Which is a good trait,but unfortunately most Nigerians leave home without informing anybody sad

5 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by 01emek(m): 3:49pm On Sep 16, 2013
shugarken: and I'm from ugbawka too...nice to meet a brother here
nice one brother! Where in ugbawka are you?
Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by FoxyFlow(m): 3:59pm On Sep 16, 2013
WHO WAN READ MY OBITUARY

Na who dey shout there
Na who wan late me early
Na who no want make I sleep
Na who wan read my obituary
Questions flooded my tiny brain
My mind alerted by the changing weather
Nothing could kill a man quickly than himself
I for one would not want to die now
Not until I am eighty and beyond
With my dick being sucked by a bi’tch

Though my story be filled with travails
And thoughts of suicide once prevailed
My eyes opened wide to the crazy world
Trust stamped down as a forbidden word
What else would I want from people
Whose gaze alone made me jiggled
Though I kissed the night solemnly
And welcomed the day calmly
Na who no want make I sleep
Na who wan read my obituary

Fish wey net no catch na juju
Love without feeling is voodoo
Dog get reason to chase im tail
Ignoring my instinct makes me fail
Na early morning preek dey strong pass
From danger I always run fast
Teeth wey dog dey cari play e dey cari bite
I strategize before going for a fight
Without all this you won’t hear my story
All you will read is of my obituary (God forbid)



You know I was surprised when I saw the number of LIKES that trailed my last poem. I am really grateful. I am not seeking attention with my poems, just feel like dropping my own quota for the story. It only looks like some people are getting pissed off. No be my fault o. It is my own way of enjoying stories that I read. About that Cute Bliss ish, ehm, let's leave the matter for mathias.

Zuby, keep on writing, we are behind you! Solidly!!!

24 Likes

Re: There And Back On Time (Nairaland Best Story of all Time) by ZUBY77(m): 4:18pm On Sep 16, 2013
This next Chapter goes to Screwface. Mr Screwface never for once, hide his amazement at what he termed my "writing skills"

Skills i never knew i had until he said it.
Even up till now, i still believe that i am just telling my stories.

By the way Screwface, i m no longer dangerous. people offend me and go free these days.

8 Likes

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