Ialwaysask:
Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please advise.

ileobatojo:

Don't walk...RUN!!



*And never look back*

jennykadry:

After they will blame the devil.

ileobatojo:

My dear, na so o!

I can't stand such useless families. I have stood in the way of my loved ones entering into such relationships once I catch a whiff that they are these kinds of people.

OP, your husband clearly plans to tow the family line. So be rest assured that it won't get better.

As far as I'm concerned the only type of person that should marry this man is a hardened gold digger whose sole purpose in the marriage is to enjoy the wealth. Every other type of woman is on a long tin .

Ialwaysask:
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please advise.

Ialwaysask:
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please advise.

jidegirl12:


EbadubelleEjolosi

Ialwaysask:
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please advise.

I think you should run.

Should the bolded even be happening?

ileobatojo:

E wetin? There is absolutely nothing these sick bunch of people have that would attract my interest.

jidegirl12:

Yeah right.

Then Why your coarse temperament or should i say conspicuous attitude toward opinionated parents who chose to do things their own way?? ... I for one don't perceive any shady scheme here hence their thorough investigation...... calling them 'useless' and 'sick' people sounds like (you know).... Begrudging

I expected the Lady's family to request same from them too ( I like a challenge ) .... But , the razzo shitzo paranoia ' what do they take me for mentality' has clouded many minds into one way traffic dumb skulls....so they can't think straight but get stuck on that one question until they're 40!

Efemena_xy:

Choi!! You this woman, pity us na and speak simple Queen's English make we understand you.

Yes, it's good to run background checks on your potential spouse and their family, family history, etc...but it should be done with tact and decorum.

Having the boy's mother summon the girl's father to 'ask' him questions in such a demeaning way isn't nice, and paints the family in a bad light. Everyone deserves some personal dignity, whether poverty striken or outrageously wealthy. We are humans and need to treat each other with decency.

jidegirl12:

Sorry , i get carried away sometimes Razzo Shitzo is man made English ..., I have many Jide-made English in my archive I humor my kids with.

That being said, it's how you present yourself people will accept / respect you. Even though its a fictitious story , and agreeing with other posters here, the lady's family already fall for hand, even if you're koboless , his 50+ year old brain supposed to tell him he's not supposed to summon into any ridiculous invitation unless it's warranted, says a lot about him and money mongrel jumpy body.

jidegirl12:

Yeah right.

Then Why your coarse temperament or should i say conspicuous attitude toward opinionated parents who chose to do things their own way?? ... I for one don't perceive any shady scheme here hence their thorough investigation...... calling them 'useless' and 'sick' people sounds like (you know).... Begrudging

I expected the Lady's family to request same from them too ( I like a challenge ) .... But , the razzo shitzo paranoia ' what do they take me for mentality' has clouded many minds into one way traffic dumb skulls....so they can't think straight but get stuck on that one question until they're 40!

ileobatojo:

Yeepa, this Engrish haf kill me e!

Abeg did you read the post well at all? They are free to be opinionated but I'm also firmly of the opinion that they are sick in the head!

Here, let's recap the things you are supporting....
-Repeatedly summoning and humiliating the father in law to be (who also has a fault in this for subjecting himself to it not once but several times)

-Tell their married children what to do and make their decisions for them

-Unethically have your family doctor to obtain their confidential se*xual history and disclose that to you

-Force your child's wife to quit her job and become a stay at home mom.

And I'm the one with a coarse temperament?!

jidegirl12:

Anyways ...They are all hungry family for even heeding to such demeaning requests...

Again she's a mongrel and should be dropped like its hot for failing all the tests!

Yep! Harsh even, for calling them names.

WHy your dad sef go dey go answer silly questions

I think your dad made a mistake by going to meet your mother inlaw,that will give them a very wrong impression about your family. Its the husbands family that go to meet the wife family and not vice versa

What made your father go to answer your mother in law?
Its the other way round, the grooms family are the ones who go hand in cap to get a wife.
You and your family have already set yourself up for failure.

I think the girl made herself look like a church rat from the beginning because I don't understand why her dad responded to the summons. The girl's family needs to get some pride. They have presented themselves as dowdy creatures. You don't need money to ascertain you should be respected.

dayokanu: If you marry into this family then dont come back and blame devil oo

jennykadry:

After they will blame the devil.

taryour: If he supports his family and sees no wrong in these then my dear you never reach your bus top oo. You should take a break and if you don't see changes(which I doubt),my dear run as far as you can.

babyosisi: The answer here should be obvious
No?

Efemena_xy: but it should be done with tact and decorum.

Having the boy's mother summon the girl's father to 'ask' him questions in such a demeaning way isn't nice, and paints the family in a bad light. Everyone deserves some personal dignity, whether poverty striken or outrageously wealthy. We are humans and need to treat each other with decency.

Efemena_xy: Paranoid bunch of stuck up so-and-so's

damiso:

I understand where you are coming from regarding doing background checks into a family your child will marry into BUT this one is overboard.

Ialwaysask:
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please advise.