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What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? - Family - Nairaland

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What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bolorunfem(f): 4:39pm On May 16, 2008
When some of us were growing up, we were familiar with  negative words (like Ori-e-o-dara, olosi, fool, idiot, ode, omo jati-jati, see your head like coconut, your eyes are like those of shrimps (oloju-ede shocked) bastard etc  by way of rebuke when we erred. Thanks to pentecostalism and better understanding of the Word of God, such words are being eradicated. Today's parents (esp mothers) now use less terrible words. That means our children will become better and happier adults with brighter future. Adults that won't be going from one church to another seeking deliverance from parental curse (albeit inadvertently placed). That was one EXTREME.

The other extreme is the way today's mothers have so much watered down the words they use in rebuking their kids such that the effect is lost on the innocent (or deliberately delinquent) youngsters. Imagine a scenario where a mother says to an erring child 'Timmy, if you throw that stone it will not be well with your enemy' "see your head like Jesus' head" grin (true, Ive heard it before),  or 'Am I the one you are looking at like that, ehn? if I catch you your enemy will cry!' "your enemy's head is not correct", Weeetin? What has the enemy got to do with your child's recklessness? Why not let a silly child know how he is and what his silliness will fetch him in terms of punishment?

Don't misunderstand me please, am NOT in support of using negative words, either to oneself or children. What am saying is that parents should let their rebuke be direct, unambigous and hence effective. Gone were the days when you'd tell a child to put a plate of food on your head (when you meant on the table) and the child  would decode it correctly. Today's kid will do your bid exactly or tell you 'mummy, you are funny o'. My question now is 'What words can parents use that will achieve desired result and without any untold negative effect on the child's emotion now or in future'. Your comments are welcome.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by 4Him1(m): 4:42pm On May 16, 2008
Our incessant use of negative words is the reason why your average Nigerian 10yr old is no where near the confidence and maturity your average American 10yr old kid displays.
Scolding a child and is different from verbal abuse. Such words have long term effects on how a child percieves himself.

If a child cant be bold enough to make mistakes in his home, he wont suddenly pluck the boldness from the tree when he needs it outside.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bolorunfem(f): 4:44pm On May 16, 2008
Good talk. So, how would you scold your erring child?
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by 4Him1(m): 5:03pm On May 16, 2008
I dont have one yet but i certainly will not withold the rod when he/she needs it.
correcting a child means making it abundantly clear WHAT the child did wrong, WHY it is wrong and WHAT the consequences of wrong doing is. Most Nigerian parents merely rain abuses.

Talk to your child, they may not be old enough to understand everything you say but it builds a certain level of trust. When a child loves and trusts you unconditionally they will do everything they can not to hurt you. Let them be bold enough to know they can tell you everything right or wrong and you wont simply go into a rage and bash their head against the wall.

On rare occassions when you absolutely need the cane, dont hesitate to use it. The key is to raise a responsible member of society not another servant for you to abuse as you wish.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bolorunfem(f): 5:15pm On May 16, 2008
Thanks, 4Him. Wishing you a blissful future fatherhood. cheesy Mothers, where are you nah?
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bigfather(m): 7:33pm On May 16, 2008
Though she is still a baby but i don't hesistate to correct her when she goes wrong ! grin
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by ifyalways(f): 10:06pm On May 16, 2008
bolorunfem:

Thanks, 4Him. Wishing you a blissful future fatherhood. cheesy Mothers, where are you nah?
they have gone to the farm cheesy
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by Uche2nna(m): 10:13pm On May 16, 2008
Calling kids names is a favorite past time of not only Nigerian parents but also guardians.

I remenber visiting my cousin on a Sunday and he was raining abuses on one of his siblings.

U foolish boy , how many times would I have to tell U not to call ur junior sister an idiot shocked

I was like "dude, how can U correct him when U are also guilty of the same stuff" undecided
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by Nobody: 3:06am On May 17, 2008
You foolish boy , how many times would I have to tell You not to call your junior sister an idiot


That was hilarious but so true.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by amsky(m): 9:07pm On May 17, 2008
I scold my 5yr old boy when he gets naughty,sometimes,it is accompanied by a smack .I rarely use words such as idiot, mumu etc.The dat i mistakenly said to him ''don't be stupid''. he replied 'mom dont use that word.It is bad and i'll tell daddy''. I felt ashamed of myself and to apologise.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by mamaput(f): 9:58pm On May 17, 2008
non.
i did not give birth to idiots or coconutheads etc.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bigfather(m): 6:45pm On May 18, 2008
mamaput:

non.
i did not give birth to idiots or coconutheads etc.

So your children don't get naughty at all ? undecided
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by mamaput(f): 9:10pm On May 18, 2008
please drop that knife you can cut your self badly with it and we will end up spending the whole day in the hospital.


you foolish idiot common drop that knife see your useless head like coconut?
please come off it . why do i have to insult my children they are not fools or coconut heds ugly monky etc.
i loved them from the day i had them and i respect them.
you can tell a child off with out insult.

please be quiet i want to hear the news.
could you please get me that glass of water now!!!!please stop fighting
you did not learn for this test did you. do you really expect me to sign that i saw this nasty test, if you bring home a test like this again i will not sign it then you can explain to your teacher why.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by mamaput(f): 9:12pm On May 18, 2008
abusive words i may tell someone i hate on the street that will even lead to fight. and i should use these words on my kids?
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by elizabetta(f): 4:13pm On May 19, 2008
Advice and punishment
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by sistajay(f): 7:45pm On May 19, 2008
Names calling is not my kinda thing.
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bigfather(m): 7:50pm On May 20, 2008
mamaput:


you foolish idiot common drop that knife see your useless head like coconut?
please come off it . why do i have to insult my children they are not fools or coconut heds ugly monky etc.
i loved them from the day i had them and i respect them.
you can tell a child off with out insult.



Of course i wouldn't go out of my way to say that to my child not even the house maid ! grin
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by Xiomarra: 9:13am On May 22, 2008
Anything that will make him or her get the message goooooooooood! Including profanities! cool
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by bolorunfem(f): 10:54am On May 23, 2008
Xiomarra:

Anything that will make him or her get the message goooooooooood! Including profanities! cool

shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked poor kids!!! embarassed cry cry
Re: What Words Do You Use When Scolding Your Erring Child? by gbengaza: 5:40pm On May 23, 2008
when correcting children we should have a correcting rather than a punitive approach,cursing the childs enemy is just as worse as cursing the child ,you are teaching the child how to curse.When a child does errs decide what punishment should be applied and let the child realise why and for what he/she is been punished for.www.achieversideas.com

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