i am a young man married with 2 kids. i lost my job sometimes ago and i've been trying to cope.i've done the following. 1. move to a smaller accomodation. 2. change my son's school to a cheaper one though not satisfied with the quality 3. take up a teaching job after searching for another job without much success(i'm a graduate and the pay is quite low 18kabt 120dollar per month but what option do i have at the moment) 4.prayers among others. i believe in being a responsible family man, also my wife has shown understanding for sometimes now and has been supportive. lately inability to meet some of my obligations as a father and husband has been causing sleepless nights for me. pls i need advice/help if you have ever been in this situation. do you know what i can do to get out of the situation?

Very normal to have sleepless nights with such a predicament.
DOUBLE YOUR EFFORTS.
Use your vehicle. . . to drive TAXI IN THE EVENING TO MAKE QUICK EXTRA MONEY. . . .

YOUR WIFE SHOULD ALSO DOUBLE HER EFFORTS TOO!

You have to do WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. . . TILL THINGS IMPROVE!
Your wife can only be supportive for 'so long'. . . .
THIS IS NO TIME TO POSE!
Children do not care to know the 'excuses' why they can't EAT or GO TO SCHOOL!

Op,I feel u.
R u good in some handiwork? Can u learn any?Do u hv a car so u can use it for part time taxi
Can u trade or must it be white collar job?

@mgbeketoto. thanks very much. i don't know how to drive and do not have a driving license.

@poster double ur effort in doing somestuff that will bring extral income...keep praying and keep sending ur CV out...may the almighty God see you throught

simple2004: @mgbeketoto. thanks very much. i don't know how to drive and do not have a driving license.

Well. . . . .Is is gonna be difficult!
All da best.
You must go learn how to drive. . . AIRPORT TAXI CABBIES MAKE A LOT OF MONEY!

@yellowpawpaw. i'm grateful. i've considered that too. but that will means i have to leave my current job because its a private school and i resume by 7:30am and closes by 4:30pm get home around 6-7pm cos i 've to trek when i have no tp. i used to work in one of my lecturer's business centre while in school i learnt book binding but with the situation on ground where do i get the pay to set up such now.anyway thanks for your advice

@webcam. thanks i will

i need more advice. people should pls offer suggestions. i don't want the problem to degenerate further

Sorry for all d ?s. Its just that I'm so bothered. Is ur wife'job good enuf? Can she foot d bill for some months alone? Be clear enuf so pple will know what to advice u on and if possible help. Pls where do u live.

As you are a teacher, you can advertise to do evening,weekend or holiday lessons for students in school,home or at their homes.that is gold mine for any teacher. you can also organise exam specific lessons with other teachers .

@OP
although you should find a way to get out of your predicament, you should also SAVE money in the future, as such situation that happened to you can happen again. put some money aside every month for rainy days. its ok to live life to the fullest but you have to have a safety net, especially if your wife is NOT working.

your wife should show understanding and support for as long as it will take you guys to get back on your feet. marriage is for better or worse, this is not YOUR problem, this is the FAMILY problem.....so i suggest you communicate and share some of the burden with her, instead of stressing yourself by putting it all on your head.

@yellowpawpaw. if leaving for sometime will bring relief in the long the she will cope though it will be difficult. her pay is around 12k. i lives in lagos
@obua thanks for the insightful advice. ive been doing some private lesson sort of. still trying to get some. but some of this private schools could be funny atimes. i was doing lesson during break bt the school administrator said all lessons should be after school my students said they can't wait students close by 4:00pm while teachers 4:30. i will double my efforts
@mrbrownjay i 've some savings when i lost the job, but it was due to the fact that i have to get an accomodation around the time i lost my job that makes things a little bit difficult. with my current pay i'm still trying to see how i can save some amount considering tranport fare, feeding for 4 of us, PHCN bills, school fees for two children and other sundry expenses.hmmm,God is in control. i'm not trying to justify myself but i tried to live within my means,i don't drink, smoke or do such thing. thanks for your advice and contributions. why i'm a bit disturbed is that her mum is not seeing things the way we are seing it .she thinks her daughter is now suffering. before now my mil was my best friend but time and people changes.

^^^bro this is life for you.......you dont judge true friends and people's character when you are UP, you judge it when you are DOWN, as this is the only time when you will see their true self.
forget about your MIL for the time being, and so long as wifey is by your side, then it is all good. your wife must have seen the sacrifices that you guys have done, and thus understand that you are trying your hardest.

how long as it been since you lost that job?!

MRbrownJAY: ^^^bro this is life for you.......you dont judge true friends and people's character when you are UP, you judge it when you are DOWN, as this is the only time when you will see their true self.
forget about your MIL for the time being, and so long as wifey is by your side, then it is all good. your wife must have seen the sacrifices that you guys have done, and thus understand that you are trying your hardest.

how long as it been since you lost that job?!

almost two years now but started teaching early this year

that is a LOOOOONG time, and maybe you should start to accept the fact that this is life now, instead of day dreaming about the past. the faster you accept who you are today, is the faster you will live a better life (and if you get a better job then it will only be a bonus to your new life)..... but you certainly shouldnt stop yourself from having a happy family life (as hard as it may seem).

have your wife go and look for a job and bring her share of the money, there is no shame in asking for help. the least person that would look down on you should be her. its not that you CANT adapt to the situation, it looks like you DONT WANT to because of remembrance of how you used to live.

MRbrownJAY: that is a LOOOOONG time, and maybe you should start to accept the fact that this is life now, instead of day dreaming about the past. the faster you accept who you are today, is the faster you will live a better life (and if you get a better job then it will only be a bonus to your new life)..... but you certainly shouldnt stop yourself from having a happy family life (as hard as it may seem).

have your wife go and look for a job and bring her share of the money, there is no shame in asking for help. the least person that would look down on you should be her. its not that you CANT adapt to the situation, it looks like you DONT WANT to because of remembrance of how you used to live.

i never imaging it could take this long to get back to my feet. but im still believing things will change for the better
yes, she is currently working somewhere but her pay is low and she is also responsible for brother though that will be off her neck by september thanks for your concern bro

many people fail to enjoy life because they are running after a certain status that they may (or not) ever get. your wife is there, your family is there, and there is much you guys can do to turn this bad situation into an ok one. no matter what happened, dont let days/months go by without enjoying the joy of having your family around you.

you would be surprised how many married couple dream of having what you have......... happy and healthy children, an understanding wife and both of you having a JOB (however small the salary may be)
shiiit, you should log off and go play with them kids right now.......REJOICE BRO!

MRbrownJAY: many people fail to enjoy life because they are running after a certain status that they may (or not) ever get. your wife is there, your family is there, and there is much you guys can do to turn this bad situation into an ok one. no matter what happened, dont let days/months go by without enjoying the joy of having your family around you.

you would be surprised how many married couple dream of having what you have......... happy and healthy children, an understanding wife and both of you having a JOB (however small the salary may be)
shiiit, you should log off and go play with them kids right now.......REJOICE BRO!

U hv spoken like an insightful one mrbj.always enjoy ur posts.

What kind of school do you teach in? Why cant your son attend that school for free or at the most at a cheaper rate. I know schools do this for their teachers. At least it will cut down cost of transportation (you will lap him/her home) and school fees. Talk to the parents of your students and let them know you offer weekend lessons, especially for the ones weak in your subject. You can also start looking for something better in a private school, which will pay more. What other costs do you think you can cut down? Is your other kid still at home? What kind of job does your wife do? Can she instead start a neighborhood day care. There she stays at home to take care of the kid and makes more money. 12k is rather low. Also on weekends, is there another job she is willing to do? Look around and see what kind of business is profitable in your area. Does your area have traffic? Look well and think about it. Then use the lesson fees to save for that business. So that when the baby at home is older, wifey can move to that business and maybe employ people to manage the day care. You and your wife have to struggle, that is what will make you appreciate marriage much more. And when you want to misbehave when things get better, what you have been through will always humble you. This too shall pass. Everyone has ups and downs in life.

@baby123. my kids can't go 2 d schl bc i may leave soon. they ar both in schl.wife is an office asst. bt want 2 b selling foodstuffs or start daycare bt finance a hurdle at present. im searching 4 other schul that pays better.

simple2004: @baby123. my kids can't go 2 d schl bc i may leave soon. they ar both in schl.wife is an office asst. bt want 2 b selling foodstuffs or start daycare bt finance a hurdle at present. im searching 4 other schul that pays better.

Daycare doesnt take anything. As long as you have a clean home, and you are sure your wife is a very careful person. because taking care of people's kids is a big responsibility. She cannot be the lazy type. Just spread word around that she can take care of kids for mothers who are working at a price per kid. Maybe 200 a day with their lunch being their mothers responsibility, and nothing must happen to them otherwise na serious gobe o. If she gets 5, that is 1k = 30k a month. Much better than 12k a month. Then when it grows, you can register it and get a business location. You have to start small, you dont need money to buy a complex.

she is hardworking and neat. we've thought of dat bt d chalenge w that is our landlord's dogs. they'll litter everywhere w faeces and they ar scary we've complained to no avail. im lifted by ur encouragement thanks

mrbrown jay n baby123 have given you great advice.

I know what you might be passing through but this too shall pass. Thr was a tym in my marriage that money was so tight I thought I was living in a nightmare always wishing to wake up.

Keep positive and ENJOY YOUR FAMILY TELL YOIR KIDS STORIES AND MAKE THEM LAUGH. childrens laughter is infectious, u are blessed to jave them.

Everybody carries their pillow of suffering at some point in life.

I think selling food is always good business if she bakes she can do all these small snacks n distribute. A familly frnd of ours sells smoked fish that she mixes wit pepper and onions she packs it in those small takaway plasticks n sells in offices even the bank she used to work at. she makes a lot of money from it, Afterall how much is smoked fish?and it gives her time for her kids.


Daycare is cool but if she is doing it alone i wonder how she will cope.

pls sleep at night n dnt think too much so that u will b strong for ur family. Sow gud seeds u will reap them in time to come.

@parisienne. thank so much for ur advice. i'm praying things should get normal asap.

simple2004: @yellowpawpaw. if leaving for sometime will bring relief in the long the she will cope though it will be difficult. her pay is around 12k. i lives in lagos
@obua thanks for the insightful advice. ive been doing some private lesson sort of. still trying to get some. but some of this private schools could be funny atimes. i was doing lesson during break bt the school administrator said all lessons should be after school my students said they can't wait students close by 4:00pm while teachers 4:30. i will double my efforts
@mrbrownjay i 've some savings when i lost the job, but it was due to the fact that i have to get an accomodation around the time i lost my job that makes things a little bit difficult. with my current pay i'm still trying to see how i can save some amount considering tranport fare, feeding for 4 of us, PHCN bills, school fees for two children and other sundry expenses.hmmm,God is in control. i'm not trying to justify myself but i tried to live within my means,i don't drink, smoke or do such thing. thanks for your advice and contributions. why i'm a bit disturbed is that her mum is not seeing things the way we are seing it .she thinks her daughter is now suffering. before now my mil was my best friend but time and people changes.

Ok why not try being a home lesson teacher? My niece had a teacher and he was paid 30k monthly. The other day this guy made copies of his cv and a cover letter requesting to be a home lessonn teacher. He shared it all around the area and my neighbour wants him to come and teach his sons for 20k. You can try that and pls stop trekking.

@daresh. thanx 4 d advice, i've not being able to get one that'll pay up to 10k maybe due to my location. i will step up advertising or can u or anybody in the house assist me in getting one with reasonable pay? pls im waiting 4 replies

I have been there.

First of all, I would like you to understand that there is nothing you can do that can give you a good job. It is all by GOD's grace. Hardwork is encouraged but it is still GOD that crowns effects with success.

Many people have done diverse things to make ends meet but to no avail. Many intelligent and deligent folks are without jobs. So don't cause more harm to yourself. Thinking can never solve your problem. The main thing is as you make every effort humanly possible, the hallmark must be faith in GOD through CHRIST. Ask HIM for a break through. Continue to steadfastly submit your cv and do the much you can.

Remember that it is by HIS grace: the race is neither to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Ask GOD for HIS grace, mercy and favour. Do your part and allow GOD to do HIS part.

@jurradical thanks and join me in prayer bc hope defered makes the heart faint

simple2004: @daresh. thanx 4 d advice, i've not being able to get one that'll pay up to 10k maybe due to my location. i will step up advertising or can u or anybody in the house assist me in getting one with reasonable pay? pls im waiting 4 replies

Where do you live?

ikotun, lagos state

jusRadical: I have been there.

First of all, I would like you to understand that there is nothing you can do that can give you a good job. It is all by GOD's grace. Hardwork is encouraged but it is still GOD that crowns effects with success.

Many people have done diverse things to make ends meet but to no avail. Many intelligent and deligent folks are without jobs. So don't cause more harm to yourself. Thinking can never solve your problem. The main thing is as you make every effort humanly possible, the hallmark must be faith in GOD through CHRIST. Ask HIM for a break through. Continue to steadfastly submit your cv and do the much you can.

Remember that it is by HIS grace: the race is neither to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Ask GOD for HIS grace, mercy and favour. Do your part and allow GOD to do HIS part.

Preacher man, pray tell, what does doing your part in practical terms entail for the OP?