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How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? / Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? / My Husbands Brother Is Breaking My Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Home Is Breaking by EfemenaXY: 6:48pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: Choi!! All that for Oga biolabee? |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by tellwisdom: 7:11pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page. He's afraid u might be linked to Al Qaeda |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by biolabee(m): 8:16pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Haba efexyz Those were illustrations of what modern courting entails Serious lifelong issues like religion, financial habits are all relegated to the background You get? Efemena_xy: |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by EfemenaXY: 8:21pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
^^ Okay |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 8:23pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: Chei madam,abeg o! Na illustration naw! Iya beji! 1 Like |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Beetle: 10:34pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Your fault sister, A muslim woman is not meant to marry a Christian man. I'm sorry you only have only yourself to blame. You've laid your bed, you've to lie on it. I'm sorry I'm a bit harsh but TRUTH HURTS!!! You have to follow him to church if you don't want to end up breaking your home. A woman goes with the religion of the man of the house! 1 Like |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by plaetton: 10:53pm On Jul 16, 2013 |
Billionaires: There are more reasons you should change to Christianity, but it has to be your choice finally, one can only advise.Am quite surprised to see this from you. How does a rational human, in this age of enlightenment, be forced to convert to a religion for which she has no faith? I can never understand this bandage call religion. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by ameenahz(f): 6:59am On Jul 17, 2013 |
obowunmi: Seriously is it by force to marry? You married him knowing that he's Christian Sir, i think the same thing applies to the man. He married her knowing she was a muslim. Why didnt HE marry one of his kind? And why didnt he strive to convert her BEFORE marrying her? @OP, it is too late to say this, but i'll say it anyway: you guys shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. A muslim woman shouldnt marry a non muslim man. A (an African) woman doesnt 'really' have a choice in issues like this. You should have known that. That said, to me, it's too late to convince your husband to allow you practise your religion. Besides, no (African) man will watch/allow you practise a different religion, so you have two choices: It's either your home or your religion (invariably, your eternity). Obviously, one is more important. Set your priorities right and make a choice. I pray God guides you to make the right choice. 1 Like |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by EfemenaXY: 7:15am On Jul 17, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: Okay...okay... I get you now |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by damiso(f): 9:18am On Jul 17, 2013 |
ameenahz: Not absolutely true Hard esp due to raising kids in a confusing way.I do know an older aunt who is an assistant pastor in RCCG and her husband is still a Muslims.I don't live with them but as far as I know they don't see it as an issue.Not ideal as I know it makes what religion the children will practise awkward but its possible with communication and understanding. Even the kids sef that I think its an issue na God o. .I was raised in baba alhaji alhaja home, as we had school lesson teacher we had ustaz for Quran and if not that I was unserious I almost had my Walimaat at 13.I was Amirah(female president) of MSS (muslim students society) in secondary school and I actually used to wear hijab. But today I am a Christian |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 9:38am On Jul 17, 2013 |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Bebetter: 10:09am On Jul 17, 2013 |
The man "was" ok with his wife being a muslim but now he does not want his child to take to his. Mothers faith o! PrecAutionary measures, besides its no hidden fact that now adays most. Muslims are terrorists. So simple, start going to church or let him.know that the child we be folowing him to church as he gets a bit older and u will not coerce the child to muslim faith. Chikena! |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by greatgod2012(f): 10:26am On Jul 17, 2013 |
Sincerely, if it wasnt a big deal before you guys got married, i wonder why it has suddenly become an issue/a big deal now. And the fact is that, none of you really took your religion serious before your marriage, if not so, the two of you wouldnt have married each other in the first instance, i think one should know and be firm with what he/she wants in the opposite se..x before such a person can be considered marriageable, well, the bed has been laid............it has to be lied on the way its been laid. May God uphold your home. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by ameenahz(f): 2:43pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
damiso: Ha, madam, it is always a big issue o. Even if they dont make much noise about it, you cannot know the wounds/regrets either of them is secretly nursing in their hearts/home. I know and have spoken with muslim men who were married to christians and agreed during courtship only to become uncomfortable after 2 kids. Some of them ended up getting divorced. The people you see, semingly ok with their spouses' religion, you will discover a lot of 'grudges' when you sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them. The ones that truly dont care and dont complain are either liberalists or 'unserious' (most times, both) and are very few. And by the way, madam, i have questions for you o. Can i send u PMs? |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by dayokanu(m): 2:59pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
Marry close to your culture and religion |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 3:38pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
Your Husband has probably been preached to by some people and believes this is how to exercise authority. Or could be there is a way you go about somethings that is pushing him to suddenly want to hand down laws and orders. There is always a trigger in this kind of situations. When you understand the trigger you will know how to handle the situation. Win your husband with your attitude no need to go into fighting mode. Its your marriage, when people tell you to pack up and go start elsewhere remember they don't know what you saw in him that made you choose him. He should know that he cannot force you he can only tell you about the gospel and then he should go on being a good husband to you. Just don't go into the my religion is better than yours mode there is always a better way to address issues like this that will make all of you happy, when spouses enter competition mode they both lose at the end of the day. You are the one who wants to stop further conflicts then be wise. 3 Likes |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by damiso(f): 3:54pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
ameenahz: True that often its difficult for a strong spirikoko Christian or muslim to marry outside.I had actually converted before I met my husband so my case is slightly different.As for PM's I cant remember my NL email password.Really private |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by ameenahz(f): 4:56pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
damiso: Awww, why now? The questions are private and i dont want to derail the thread. Issorai. No probs. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by damiso(f): 7:07pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
ameenahz:Are they very very private? .i.e.concerning my off NL life .If not, you can ask on a thread I opened so as not to derail this OP thread. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by nat138: 8:51pm On Jul 17, 2013 |
It is quite annoying when people bring serious issues on here and then disappear. OP sought for advise which she has been given and very serious questions have been asked but she is no where to provide answers to them na wa o. As one poster said 'I wonder what people discuss during courtship these days'. You would imagine that the issue of religion will be top priority but well deed has been done already. The Op's hubby probably didnt bother all this time because there were no kids in the picture, now with the arrival of baby Kate, it has become a worry to him as to which religion his daughter as well as subsequent children will follow. Will the kids go to the mosque with mummy on friday and then follow daddy to church on Sunday? I have a friend whose dad was a muslim and their mom christian, the father had no issue with all the kids going to church with their mom but there was a condition for the only boy among the kids, he followed his dad ti the mosque as well and had to participate in other islamic activites as well as going to church and also participating in christian activities. It had its fair share of confusion for the little boy. Well their dad finally became a christian down the line. So am sure this is the kind of situation op's hubby is weighing. I really dont know what to advise because whatever we are going to say here, you probably heard much more while preparing for your wedding. The ball is in your court, My concern is not even about you and hubby but about the spiritual upbringing of your children. Op it is time you and hubby go back to the drawing board and redraw the omitted bits you guys ignored while dating and chart a course forward. Cheers |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by mgbeketoto: 2:32am On Jul 18, 2013 |
He has asked you to change to XTIANITY. If the answer is NO. . . get ready for his reaction which is one of 2 options. 1. Separation or DIVORCE. 2. You stay the same till one person DIES of High Blood Pressure or STROKE. Simple! There is no wrong or right to 'SWITCHING' religions or FAITH/BELIEF SYSTEMS. If I were you. . . .I WOULD NOT!. . .He is only looking for an excuse. . .to WANDER OFF. . .as usual. HE CAN TAKE A HIKE. . . . |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Sweetmom115: 9:48am On Jul 18, 2013 |
nat138: It is quite annoying when people bring serious issues on here and then disappear. Sorry I Couldn't update my thread...I sincerely appreciate everyone advice on this issue, my hubby Cldnt give me a good reason I should change my religion but ""it's important for a wife to practice her hubby religion. I don't want to divorce him because I found everytin I could ever imagine in a man "true love, honesty etc" |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Sweetmom115: 9:49am On Jul 18, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: He has asked you to change to XTIANITY. He's main reason was because of our daughter I believe. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by mgbeketoto: 9:59am On Jul 18, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: YOUR DAUGHTER WILL FIND HER OWN WAY. . .Good news, she will have the rich variety to choose from! Like I stated earlier. . . He is only looking for an excuse. He married you A MUSLIM. . . .Good enough FOR BETTER FOR WORSE! If you wanno change religions. . . your choice! I WOULD NOT! You need to choose what is more important to you. . .YOUR MARRIAGE. . .or YOUR SELF-ESTEEM! Simple! 1 Like |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by tng(f): 3:05pm On Jul 18, 2013 |
my advise for you is to pray, but wait is there anything bad in practicing your hubby's religion @sexymomma I hope you would say the same when reverse is the case. 2 Likes |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by dare2think: 4:04pm On Jul 18, 2013 |
Princess zoe: [b]THIS IS ALMOST THE SAME ISSUE WE WERE DISCUSSING ON THE OTHER THREAD. A MAN ASKING HIS WIFE TO STOP WEARING TROUSERS. SINGLE PEOPLE SHOULD BE CAREFUL TO OPEN THEIR EYES WIDE DURING COURTSHIP. ANYTHING YOU SAW DURING COURTSHIP AND IGNORED WILL BE DIFFICULT TO AMEND AFTER WEDDING. ANY MAN THAT COMES HOME AND START GIVING A COMMAND TO THE WIFE ASKING HER TO CHANGE FROM WHAT HE KNEW THAT HAS BEEN SINCE THE DAY OF THEIR COURTSHIP IS SELFISH. YOU NEED TO APPLY LOVE, LOVE AND MORE LOVE BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR FAULT AT THE FIRST PLACE SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WENT UP TO HER FOR MARRIAGE KNOWING QUITE WELL THAT SHE HAS BEEN THAT WAY. YOU DON'T GIVE COMMAND OR MAKE DEMANDS ON THIS TYPE OF ISSUE BECAUSE IS A HARSH WAY TO GO ABOUT SUCH ISSUE WHICH IS VERY SENSITIVE. BIBLICALLY A WOMAN IS MEANT TO BE SUBMISSIVE(IN THE LORD AND NOT IN SELFISHNESS) WHILE THE MAN IS MEANT TO LOVE LIKE HIS BODY. BUT SOME MEN DO NOT KNOWN THAT ONE CAN ACTUALLY BE SUBMISSIVE WITHOUT LOVING AND ALSO THAT SUBMISSIVENESS IS ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS OF LOVE. WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY? IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO JUST GO AHEAD AND AGREE IN SUBMISSION IN EVERYTHING YOU DEMAND(WHICH IS HARSH) SHE MIGHT DO THAT AS A SERVANT AND NOT AS YOUR PARTNER(BECAUSE PARTNERS DO NOT USE COMMAND NOR FORCE, THEY USE SUGGESTIONS AND EXERCISE PATIENCE) A SERVANT WILL BE SUBMISSIVE TO THE OGA BUT HE STEALS FROM HIM. A SERVANT WILL BE SUBMISSIVE TO HIS OGA BUT HE CAN BE SLEEPING WITH OGA'S WIFE. A SERVANT CAN ALSO BE SUBMISSIVE TO OGA BUT CAN USE CHARMS ON HIS OGA. REMEMBER WE ARE DEALING ON SUBMISSIVENESS AS A SERVANT HERE.BUT SUBMISSIVENESS BY LOVE AND BY WILLINGNESS CAN NOT AND WILL NOT BE HARMFUL. THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU DO NOT ORDER YOUR WIFE OR DEMAND FROM HER OF A CHANGE BECAUSE IT IS HARSH. THE MAN WAS ASKED TO LOVE HIS WIFE LIKE HIS BODY. NOW IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN BODY, YOU WILL BE SOMEHOW SUBMISSIVE TO HER WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IT. LOVE IS WHERE THE WHOLE WORK LIES YET SOME MEN DO NOT KNOW THIS. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT, LOVE ENDURES,LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE DOES NOT SEEK HIS OWN (I.E DEMANDING THINGS FOR HIS OWN REASONS OR PLEASE HIMSELF), LOVE FORGIVES ALL THINGS, IN FACT BIBLE LISTED A LOT OF QUALITIES OF LOVE WHICH AUTOMATICALLY PLACES THE MAN AS A GATHERER AND AN ENDURING AND MORE FORGIVING IMAGE. KNOWLEDGE THEY SAY IS POWER. SINGLE LADIES SHOULD MAKE SURE THEY MARRY A MAN THAT UNDERSTANDS THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO HUSBANDS AND WIVES BY GOD AND ALSO KNOWS THE RIGHT INTERPRETATION TO IT IN WHICH THE HOLY SPIRIT IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE ONE SHEDDING THE LIGHT OF INTERPRETATION. OP CHRISTIANITY IS THE BEST THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. JUST GET A GOOD BIBLE AND START STUDYING, THE LIGHT OF GOD WILL SHINE INTO YOUR HEART TO EXPLAIN MORE TO YOU.[/b][/color] 99.9% of viewers did not read your post because of an inevitable headache. My Advice: whilst typing away, leave paragraghs for breaks and clarity so as to pass your point across effectively. Princess zoe: ^ Now, its readable. 2 Likes |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Olowojegure: 9:41pm On Jul 18, 2013 |
Ponder over this verse from the Noble Quran: 2:221"Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slavewoman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you.Nor marry (your girls)to unbelieversuntil they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise." 3 Likes |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Princesszoe: 10:54pm On Jul 18, 2013 |
dare2think:Thank you. I will try next time. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by samyan12: 5:50am On Jul 19, 2013 |
Bebetter: The man "was" ok with his wife being a muslim but now he does not want his child to take to his. Mothers faith o! PrecAutionary measures, besides its no hidden fact that now adays most. Muslims are terrorists. So simple, start going to church or let him.know that the child we be folowing him to church as he gets a bit older and u will not coerce the child to muslim faith. Chikena! This is a stupid and ignorant comment to make. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by thorpido(m): 6:37am On Jul 19, 2013 |
You've got more eternally worthy reasons to believe in Jesus Christ beyond marital reasons. Didn't you and your husband discuss this before your marriage?It's always important for a couple to go in the same direction.The bible says,can two work together except they be agreed?'. Both of you should have a discussion and reach a compromise.You also should have a lot of patience.The man is the head of the home. |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by cycline404(m): 3:00pm On Jul 20, 2013 |
Your husband will just frustrate himself trying to change u.... He cant do that rather what he has to do is to pray to God that he should show u the light and the right path to follow.... Even during courtship that should have been his major prayer point. Thus my sister tell him to relax and pray not to do it by himself ... There is freedom of religion.. and he can't change u only God can.... 1 Like |
Re: My Home Is Breaking by Nobody: 9:49am On Aug 16, 2013 |
Sweetmom115: My husband & I are based in hull United Kingdom & we love one another dearly during our dating time he knew I was a Muslim, we had our first baby (Kate) only recently he started actin cold towards me insisting I've 2change to Christian I was vry angry about it. I was angry because he never discuss this with me in the beginning, I need your sincere advice towards this issue HOUSE. Is it important for a wife to practice her husband religion at all?. Also I would be glad if this make it to the front page.am surprised u called urself a muslim, go back to islamic teachings on a muslim woman marrying a non-muslim and u will knw that u made a mistake abnitio. |
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