4 Him:

Its not love, yet, but you wait . . . it wont be long before you begin to look forward to those emails and to more intimate contact with the person at the end of them.

yea. . .

4 Him:

there's a nice tshirt for u. at least i don over try.

ehrrrm, just a tshirt?
you berra go back and bring me sth else!

4Him and Rampant get a room!  

To the OP
this is tricky you obviously have started to like him more than a friend thats why this thought has crossed your mind. He probably doesnt see a problem with it because he has no feelings and no intention of leaving his wife and running off into the sunset with you.

Break it off while you can.  It will really be painful when you realise you actually want more and he turns around and tells you "I thought we were just friends" and how he could not leave his wife because there is nothing wrong with their relationship and all this crap.

Nothing wrong with men and women being friends
emailing calling and texting but when you start feeling like you miss him and can't bare not to hear from him.
You have fallen for him

Do not misconstrue this case. . . .The poster never said she is in love. . .ha ha!

The Sly:

Do not misconstrue this case. . . .The poster never said she is in love. . .ha ha!

You dnt have to say "I love. . .". . .for someone to know that you love. . .

LadyT:


Nothing wrong with men and women being friendsemailing calling and texting but when you start feeling like you miss him and can't bare not to hear from him.
You have fallen for him

Very sensible!!!!

The Sly:

Do not misconstrue this case. . . .The poster never said she is in love. . .ha ha!

Touche.

RampantT:

read the whole story or sharrap jare

try to analyze the poster's feelings, can you not tell she's in love with this guy by what she wrote and how she's describing the situation?

How can i tell she's in love with what she wrote? Are people this fickle?
Nigerians and the way they think. . . . . .a trip to the movies means LOVE to some people.
Tsssssssssssssk. . . . . .tssssk!!!!!

LadyT:

4Him and Rampant get a room!

how did you know what i was seriously planning towards?

You dnt have to say "I love. . .". . .for someone to know that you love. . .

tell them

4 Him:

how did you know what i was seriously planning towards?

Not with you and I, after what I saw on the other thread

Xerxes.:

How can i tell she's in love with what she wrote? Are people this fickle?
Nigerians and the way they think. . . . . .a trip to the movies means LOVE to some people.
Tsssssssssssssk. . . . . .tssssk!!!!!

Yes, Nigerian and their mentality. , you've got your own., so siddon and let me explain. . .

wait, how can you tell she's not inlove? Just by what she wrote?
do you really know the whole situation with her and the married man?
Have you witnessed her body lang. with him? The way she talks to him or act around him?
No? I guess none of us can really know if its an affair or not

The Sly:

Do not misconstrue this case. . . .The poster never said she is in love. . .ha ha!

@rampant- i think u already sum up the situation too soon, clearly the guy is likeable and thats why she clearly kept on the friendship, it could translate to love over time but its not a certainty. i guess thats why the poster is concerned.

RampantT:

wait, how can you tell she's not inlove? Just by what she wrote?
do you really know the whole situation with her and the married man?
Have you witnessed her body lang. with him? The way she talks to him or act around him?
No? I guess none of us can really know if its an affair or not

Why not give her the benefit of doubt then?
Innocent until proven guilty, ehhhhh.

innocent?innocent that she felt so guilty dat she had to create a thread for it?

Xerxes.:

Why not give her the benefit of doubt then?
Innocent until proven guilty, ehhhhh.

hmmmmmmmm!
But what if she really does like this guy more than as a friend?

2dye4:

@rampant- i think u already sum up the situation too soon, clearly the guy is likeable and thats why she clearly kept on the friendship, it could translate to love over time but its not a certainty. i guess thats why the poster is concerned.

You never know. . I'll never know. . . If you're right there

@4Him, I thought you said you had stopped this mindless sex. Hmmm,

Thanks Xerxes for being so gracious in your defence.

Thanks y'all for all your replies. This thing had been bothering me and now that I've put it out here it puts everything into perspective. I was actually afraid of the whole Nigerian way of thinking that two people can't be friends if they are of the opposite sex. I'll make sure to define a few things with my friend and according to what you said, 4Him, I'll find out the nature of his relationship with his wife, cos I don't normally ask beyond the basics of how is your family etc.

I know for certain I'm not in love with this guy. I like him and he's a good friend. I'll cut down the amount of communication like someone said, KISS.

Xerxes.:

Why not give her the benefit of doubt then?
Innocent until proven guilty, ehhhhh.

precisely.

jennykadry:

innocent?innocent that she felt so guilty that she had to create a thread for it?

Yes!!!! There's nuthing to suggest the poster is in LOVE!!!!

RampantT:

hmmmmmmmm!
But what if she really does like this guy more than as a friend?
You never know. . I'll never know. . . If you're right there

Is that how u pick ur guys? Chat for 3 days and u fall in LOVE?
No wonder Vivaladiva spews mud on Nigerian ladies.
I am beginning to read a pattern here.

@poster

don't get me wrong,sorry if im rude but im just saying d truth here,even though we can't be truthful to eachother here,but there's no doubt that u have some kind of feelings for him,and that is y u opened this thread

I know for certain I'm not in love with this guy. I like him and he's a good friend. I'll cut down the amount of communication like someone said, KISS.

Kisses for you too

Xerxes.:

Is that how u pick your guys? Chat for 3 days and u fall in LOVE?
No wonder Vivaladiva spews mud on Nigerian ladies.
I am beginning to read a pattern here.

Did the poster mention 3 days? If I do recount, she never mentioned time and how long.

And trust me, if I was really in love within three days of my chatting with anyone, I'll be inlove with more than 5 people.
yes, I've made the mistake of confusing friendship with love, but 3 days of love? it wnt work hon.
Me, if our friendship last for more than 3 months and it gets stronger. . ok, it might work, but until then no.
So dnt put words in my mouth, or is it hand?

RampantT:

Did the poster mention 3 days? If I do recount, she never mentioned time and how long.

And trust me, if I was really in love within three days of my chatting with anyone, I'll be inlove with more than 5 people.
yes, I've made the mistake of confusing friendship with love, but 3 days of love? it wnt work hon.
Me, if our friendship last for more than 3 months and it gets stronger. . ok, it might work, but until then no.
So dnt put words in my mouth, or is it hand?

The 1st 2 sentences are kinda contradictory.

annamaria:

@4Him, I thought you said you had stopped this mindless sex. Hmmm,

Thanks Xerxes for being so gracious in your defence.

Thanks y'all for all your replies. This thing had been bothering me and now that I've put it out here it puts everything into perspective. I was actually afraid of the whole Nigerian way of thinking that two people can't be friends if they are of the opposite sex. I'll make sure to define a few things with my friend and according to what you said, 4Him, I'll find out the nature of his relationship with his wife, because I don't normally ask beyond the basics of how is your family etc.

I know for certain I'm not in love with this guy. I like him and he's a good friend. I'll cut down the amount of communication like someone said, KISS.

dear, however u choose to do it, just let him down gently. all d best.

annamaria:

I know for certain I'm not in love with this guy. I like him and he's a good friend. I'll cut down the amount of communication like someone said, KISS.

This is it. . . . .

They way some people judge things is off-the cuff.

Had it been that the guy in question was the one who came here to write all that up and then asks for advise
I am 100% sure these very same people would be the first to say. . . .
NO!!! They girl is just your friend. . .Get ur mind Outta the gutter. . .she's not in love with you. . .
I wonder why you Naija men believes that when a girl winks at you. . .that means she's in love with you. .

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . . .

Xerxes.:

The 1st 2 sentences are kind of contradictory.

"really" in love and confusing love with friendship are two different things.

If I really love someone, it wnt be within 3 days

I might have confused friendship with love, meaning, there really was no love.

clear? _{Did your buddy asked you to ask? lmao!!}

@poster
if my post to you might haver sound rude, I apologize. I say things the way I view them. . I dnt sugar-coat the truth.

by the way, I still think there's more than friendship here

@Xerxes, many babies running around on nairaland; should at best be left with their childish pranks.

annamaria:

@Xerxes, many babies running around on nairaland; should at best be left with their childish pranks.

Not everyone can suga-coat the truth
You dnt always hear what you want

Had it been that the guy in question was the one who came here to write all that up and then asks for advise
I am 100% sure these very same people would be the first to say. . . .
NO!!! They girl is just your friend. . .Get your mind Outta the gutter. . .she's not in love with you. . .
I wonder why you Naija men believes that when a girl winks at you. . .that means she's in love with you. .

Lol

RampantT:

"really" in love and confusing love with friendship are two different things.

If I really love someone, it wnt be within 3 days

I might have confused friendship with love, meaning, there really was no love.

clear? _{Did your buddy asked you to ask? lmao!!}

U are hurling buffoonery. . . . .
Why should i be bovvered with ur life? I don't give a toss if u are happy or sad o. Don't mix me up with the pussy-lickers of NL.
I am a rare breed.

annamaria:

@Xerxes, many babies running around on nairaland; should at best be left with their childish pranks.

U are not far from the truth. . . . .The main aggressor is actually 15.

I work in the same organisation with this guy but we're not in the same office. We got to know each other at a church function and started emailing, very casual stuff in the beginning. I know his wife and kid. [b]The thing now is no day passes without either seeing or calling or emailing or YIMing. It used to be only Monday to Friday but now, even weekends, we exchange quite a lot of emails, usually general stuff, jokes, current issues etc etc. I enjoy talking to him and his friendship means a lot to me. [/b]He advises me a lot about relationships and is quite protective of me, more like a big brother.

In this day of technology, when do you know when you have crossed the line from casual friendship into a full blown affair even though you've not been intimate with the other person. (I mean, there's never been any kissing, inappropriate touching apart from the ocassional hug, no overt 'I love yous' etc etc).

Please help me out here. Have we crossed the line already?

weneva i read stories here,i read d inside and d outside,and i will always tell d truth,y didnt d poster slow d pace when d guy started emailing her every weekends?she had d right to do that?y would she be emailing a married man everyday monday to friday?even if its just on a friendship level like she said,u people should leave this friendship of a thing abeg,we r all human beings wt blood flowing through our veins,for them to be mailing each other even on weekends,na na na na,how can she not be in love when no day goes by wtout her seeing him [b]even though [/b]she said they don't work in d same office

The Sly:

This is it. . . . .

They way some people judge things is off-the cuff.

Had it been that the guy in question was the one who came here to write all that up and then asks for advise
I am 100% sure these very same people would be the first to say. . . .
NO!!! They girl is just your friend. . .Get your mind Outta the gutter. . .she's not in love with you. . .
I wonder why you Naija men believes that when a girl winks at you. . .that means she's in love with you. .

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . . .

lmao!!
but he didn't so you'll never know

Xerxes.:

You are hurling buffoonery. . . . .
Why should i be bovvered with your life? I don't give a toss if u are happy or sad o. Don't mix me up with the pussy-lickers of Nairaland.
I am a rare breed.

you berra chill the hell out and calm down.
where did you get all that sh*t from. . .

Here am trying to explain sth and you're hurling insults? nna nawa o. .

jennykadry:

weneva i read stories here,i read d inside and d outside,and i will always tell d truth,y didnt d poster slow d pace when d guy started emailing her every weekends?she had d right to do that?y would she be emailing a married man everyday monday to friday?even if its just on a friendship level like she said,u people should leave this friendship of a thing abeg,we r all human beings wt blood flowing through our veins,for them to be mailing each other even on weekends,na na na na,how can she not be in love when no day I'm jobless wtout her seeing him [b]even though [/b]she said they don't work in d same office

This is the hypocrisy i can't stand with y'all women.
I have guys/chics i email/YIM/txt/call everyday to diss and brag about our different clubs in the Premiership.
Does it mean an affair has to develop in that? Why are girls so screwed to the fact that once a man calls twice, then LOVE has to be in it!!!!!
It's a very wrong perception and this is why most people see Nigerian chics as bush girls.

Xerxes.:

It's a very wrong perception and this is why most people see Nigerian chics as bush girls.

And I hope you also know why ppl see Nigerian men as bushmen