Pls nairalanders i need help,it seems am loosing my mind,i find it hard to concentrate at work.I and my boyfriend started dating from 2009 when i was in year 1 in the University while he works.In march 2012 he started acting strange,he hadly picks my calls giving excuses of being busy,around April 2012 he broke up with me saying that he needed space.i found it difficult to concentrate in my exams,i fell sick.In June we made up and he told me that he wanted us to reduce they way we had quarrels over his constant late night calls,he told me that they were friends and business partners.By June this years i saw a pix of a half cast on his fb wall i asked him who the person is and he told me that the girl is the cousin,he has over 10 of her pix on his fb wall.He even said that the girl lives in Germany and sometimes last year he told me he would travel out.3 weeks back i called him and asked why he is making me feel sad by uploading the pix,he told me i should stop asking him since he has tld me who she is.I have been so unhappy since then,cry almost every day,i have made a decision not to cal him anylonger since he doesnt cal me.i have never cheated on him,pls fellow nairalanders,how do i overcome this trauma because this is the only guy i have truely loved.i doubt if i can ever love again

From what I deduced from your post, your guy is not being sincere with you. Aside the other girl's picture on his facebook wall, does he have your pictures there too? I strongly believe he has something under his sleeves and the sooner you wake up to reality, the better for you. Is not a crime to love someone but then when is one sided, then it becomes pointless to carry on. Let him go. If he is yours, he will come back.

2goodbobo: From what I deduced from your post, your guy is not being sincere with you. Aside the other girl's picture on his facebook wall, does he have your pictures there too? I strongly believe he has something under his sleeves and the sooner you wake up to reality, the better for you. Is not a crime to love someone but then when is one sided, then it becomes pointless to carry on. Let him go. If he is yours, he will come back.

And if he comes back she should accept him?

Try this post ur mind will come back https://www.nairaland.com/1370593/man-45-nabbed-molesting-16-yr-old#17004322

@2goodbobo,he doesnt av my pix on his wall.i forgot 2 add that he pixmix the girl's pix wit his then deleted the pixmix picture when i quarelled with him over the picture.This is the 3rd girl picture he has uploaded and told me one is a family friend and the other is the niece bt deleted theirs b4 uploading the halfcast picture.

doris4u: @2goodbobo,he doesnt av my pix on his wall.i forgot 2 add that he pixmix the girl's pix wit his then deleted the pixmix picture when i quarelled with him over the picture.This is the 3rd girl picture he has uploaded and told me one is a family friend and the other is the niece bt deleted theirs b4 uploading the halfcast picture.

Your boyfriend is a serial cheat. He doesnt know your worth, therefore he doesnt deserve you. It will take sometime to heal the wound but the one who values u will come for u soon. Life goes on

let go of him and continue wit ur life, cos wat wil b wil b

xynerise:
And if he comes back she should accept him?

Well is up to her to decide if such situation arises. Don't forget she underlined she love him very much. However, people react differently. The way you will react in that situation might be different with others. Is just my own opinion sha and is not like is a law. Anyways thank you for the observation.

doris4u: @2goodbobo,he doesnt av my pix on his wall.i forgot 2 add that he pixmix the girl's pix wit his then deleted the pixmix picture when i quarelled with him over the picture.This is the 3rd girl picture he has uploaded and told me one is a family friend and the other is the niece bt deleted theirs b4 uploading the halfcast picture.

Gurl that's enough reason to let him go since he can't show you to the world but instead does so to the other girl. Is better you back out now so you can start your healing process now than to prolong it and still be hopeful in such a hopeless situation.

#truelovewillfindyou# your happiness is not tied to him.

doris4u: Pls nairalanders i need help,it seems am loosing my mind,i find it hard to concentrate at work.I and my boyfriend started dating from 2009 when i was in year 1 in the University while he works.In march 2012 he started acting strange,he hadly picks my calls giving excuses of being busy,around April 2012 he broke up with me saying that he needed space.i found it difficult to concentrate in my exams,i fell sick.In June we made up and he told me that he wanted us to reduce they way we had quarrels over his constant late night calls,he told me that they were friends and business partners.By June this years i saw a pix of a half cast on his fb wall i asked him who the person is and he told me that the girl is the cousin,he has over 10 of her pix on his fb wall.He even said that the girl lives in Germany and sometimes last year he told me he would travel out.3 weeks back i called him and asked why he is making me feel sad by uploading the pix,he told me i should stop asking him since he has tld me who she is.I have been so unhappy since then,cry almost every day,i have made a decision not to cal him anylonger since he doesnt cal me.i have never cheated on him,pls fellow nairalanders,how do i overcome this trauma because this is the only guy i have truely loved.i doubt if i can ever love again

Guys are naturally promiscuous dear...e hard for man to eat only 'egwusi' for three years Oº°˚˚°º....stop killin ur sef joooor....move on!

chidindufrank: Try this post ur mind will come back https://www.nairaland.com/1370593/man-45-nabbed-molesting-16-yr-old#17004322

why are posting this disgusting news on every thread?! what the hell are you up to?!!!

Hey, I dnt mn to b uncrius bt, I don't mind dating u Sha... Am soo lonely right now. ..

doris4u: Pls nairalanders i need help,it seems am loosing my mind,i find it hard to concentrate at work.I and my boyfriend started dating from 2009 when i was in year 1 in the University while he works.In march 2012 he started acting strange,he hadly picks my calls giving excuses of being busy,around April 2012 he broke up with me saying that he needed space.i found it difficult to concentrate in my exams,i fell sick.In June we made up and he told me that he wanted us to reduce they way we had quarrels over his constant late night calls,he told me that they were friends and business partners.By June this years i saw a pix of a half cast on his fb wall i asked him who the person is and he told me that the girl is the cousin,he has over 10 of her pix on his fb wall.He even said that the girl lives in Germany and sometimes last year he told me he would travel out.3 weeks back i called him and asked why he is making me feel sad by uploading the pix,he told me i should stop asking him since he has tld me who she is.I have been so unhappy since then,cry almost every day,i have made a decision not to cal him anylonger since he doesnt cal me.i have never cheated on him,pls fellow nairalanders,how do i overcome this trauma because this is the only guy i have truely loved.i doubt if i can ever love again

he dosent know your worth! please dont play second fiddle (spare tyre) to/for anybody...you can love again if the right person comes, dont let past hurt cheat you from your future HAPPINESS!

Y can't u love again?Be strong girl,it's unfortunate that yr love was not returned.Keep moving on!

It's gonna be very hard for U to forget and heal at this moment in time. My only advise for you is to be prayerful. u seem to be in love, as in U head over heels in love.. Just be prayerful. I was once in your shoes. Send me a pm

can u imagine wat he did to u? dat ur boyfriend is nothing but a heartbreaker. he doesn't love you anymore so better move on with ur life & focus on ur advancement. all these men will just come & go leaving u in pain. seek Gods grace to get over him & socialize wit other pple in ur life dat care abt ur happiness

sanniemoe: It's gonna be very hard for U to forget and heal at this moment in time. My only advise for you is to be prayerful. u seem to be in love, as in U head over heels in love.. Just be prayerful. I was once in your shoes. Send me a pm

Pray over what? @ op, never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

xavipedro:


Pray over what? @ op, never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

It's very easy to quote all these oyinbo for her but I tell U that's the best for her. To be prayerful that the hurt goes away and she heals fast.. Have u ever been heart broken,shattered? Would have told her to try out dope or codeine but drug isn't gonna be the best for her so prayer is next..GBAM!!!!!

@sanniemoe,am nt on BB.thnks

Do yourself a favour and forget his sorry ass. It seems obvious from your comments that he has no respect for you.. Why should you give your heart to somebody who doesn't respect you

D guy don tire for ur kitty, did he disV u?

doris4u: @sanniemoe,am nt on BB.thnks

Email me at muther63@yahoo.co.uk

SniperInADiaper: Do yourself a favour and forget his sorry ass. It seems obvious from your comments that he has no respect for you.. Why should you give your heart to somebody who doesn't respect you

It's a tale of love gone sour. It's apparent the Op is still very much in love with her man,forgetting him would take a lot of courage,strength and sacrifice. The process would hurt and might break her completely..she needs a support system,a friend,and encouraging words.. Besides,I wouldn't conclude the man is tired of her. U kno men could be such a toddler attimes,he might be confused too and all she needs to do is to play a game to make him come begging on his knees.. U dig??

@op. Never say u wont love again,you are responsible for your own happiness.
You can't force pple to love you. Identify ur limit and when u have gotten to that,let it go, hes nt for u.

sanniemoe:

It's a tale of love gone sour. It's apparent the Op is still very much in love with her man,forgetting him would take a lot of courage,strength and sacrifice. The process would hurt and might break her completely..she needs a support system,a friend,and encouraging words.. Besides,I wouldn't conclude the man is tired of her. U kno men could be such a toddler attimes,he might be confused too and all she needs to do is to play a game to make him come begging on his knees.. U dig??

Playing some game to make a man come crawling back reeks of desperation.. YOU are a wiser man than this. Don't give her shady advice ok. Tell her to just forget this guy and find somebody better... perhaps you

SniperInADiaper:

Playing some game to make a man come crawling back reeks of desperation.. YOU are a wiser man than this. Don't give her shady advice ok. Tell her to just forget this guy and find somebody better... perhaps you

Sniper!!! !! No,let her give her love a chance. Love needs to be given another chance till it fades totally.. That man might be confused.. If she can act like she don't care for a minute,put up an attitude that would make her seem like the happiest woman on earth.. He might have a rethink.. 2 things are involved here.. If she tries this,she'd see how much joy that resides within her and learn to be independent of her man emotionally... 2nd,she most likely might have her man do a U turn and crawl back in his knees asking to be forgiven... I know how this thing works..

Let me tell you first that I feel for you! I am really sorry. Heartache can be really bad, I have been there and it takes time to overcome a broken heart. You will need time to heal but you first need to make a decision. Do you want to remain in this relationship the way it is now? I don't think so. So tell your boyfriend that you are not going to put up with what he is putting you through and no matter how hard it seems to be, don't allow ANYBODY treat you this way. This is truly humiliating. Don't be a victim, be strong and put an end to it. From then on, it will take time to get better but you finally will. Many People have been there and have overcome it. Just think of all the sad love songs, they were all inspired by this Kind of experience you are going through now. But please believe me, better days will come and you will love again, hopefully a much better man who deserves all your love. You Need time, don't put yourself under any pressure, it's time to mourn now. Let the pain out, let your tears flow and clean you from inside. Worse things than that happen in life and people have to cope with it and overcome it, so will you. Take your time and don't think that the end of a relationship will make you unhappy for life. It's just another expperience and no matter how painful, you can go through it and become even stronger. Always remember that what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. Sweetie ... dust yourself off and face the pain, go through it and you will be a better and stronger woman at the end. Take good care of yourself, do whatever is good for you, spoil yourself, meet friends, visit relatives in other cities, get a new haircut, Party. Do whatever makes you feel good. He will one day regret what he has done to you, I promise you. Most importnatly, NEVER and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES neglect your education, let alone fail your exams because of heartache. Always remember that letting yourself go because of a failed relationship will make matters worse. So be a fighter!! And you will be very proud of yourself one day!

*hug*

@carefreewannababe,thnks 4 ur advice i do appreciate.uv really inspired me

Love is always two sided if u wanna stay happy, any love datz nt reciprocated is a facade....Gurl, step out n 4get d past,no luv lost btw u n yhu bf, he's nt d ryt niggur 4 u,just riding u like a horse n playing wt yhu emotions. 4get d fact datz he's older dan u n working, he's still immature 2 undastnd yhu luv language,believe u me, its gud he has shown such behaviour.

doris4u: @2goodbobo,he doesnt av my pix on his wall.i forgot 2 add that he pixmix the girl's pix wit his then deleted the pixmix picture when i quarelled with him over the picture.This is the 3rd girl picture he has uploaded and told me one is a family friend and the other is the niece bt deleted theirs b4 uploading the halfcast picture.

lemme tell yuo the truth and give you answers........
dude is playing a game with your head, this is an old trick i used to use when i was still in the game and welll.....immature, this is fact
1. a cheating guy will try as much as possible to keep his tracks clean
2. posting a pic where he knows you will see it is a game plan

why then is he posting the pic?
its the mixed message signal game plan, you tell a girl you love her, keep her by the side the leave traces that you can get hotter girls by the side,...now this generates a feeling of not being good enuf, guilt (sometimes), the girl tries to please, gives more attention and lastly becomes very weak and vulnerable, ......you call her to come, she comes, spread your....she does that...she will do just about anything to get back the guys attention.

there is also a very slim chance he is cheating and playing this game to keep you on the side

solution
whatever his reasons are, you dont deserve such treatment (some girls do)

now the game paln you will play is called the mirror effect.

look for a good pic of a guy, (good looking, tall and all that shiiii, can send you mine ).......just joking...an ok guy will do...then post it on your wall, you can also customise the pic with letterings like...hapi birthday!...using your phone or pc, prepare for the best or the worst, he is definitely gonna call attention to it, now the masters of this mirror effect game play it cool, never get personal, angry or use an accusatory tone, just tell him he is a good friend or some wonderfull dude you met online...now list the qualities you want in him and attribute it to the guy, tell him how funny and happy the guy makes you feel, but insist he doesnt really mean anything to you, dont say he absolutell doesnt mean anything...give urself elbow room, am just watch his thoughts go mentally haywire. what ever actions he takes remember to play it cool, dont show excess emotion.

ps
1.the last thing you want to do in this condition is give him attention. you a falling into his harem gameplan and feeding his ego
2. if u stay with a guy like this without thinking yourself..you will end up being one ore more of the following, a fvck doll, lady atm, wife material GF while he toys around with the naughty girls, side chick or footmat, or rebound lady to call when the naughty girls fianlly leaves him
3. the worst thing that can happen is to love and marry him in this condition, you will end up with a low self esteem, permanently bruised ego and marital heartbreak,....but he is gonna keep having his fun..........dont try to change him with words, actions speak louder and the time is now, when you are married.......well lets just say there will be more reasons why you will be helpless.

dont be taken for granted
whatever happens is for the best, you will have learnt an invaluable lesson

doris4u: @2goodbobo,he doesnt av my pix on his wall.i forgot 2 add that he pixmix the girl's pix wit his then deleted the pixmix picture when i quarelled with him over the picture.This is the 3rd girl picture he has uploaded and told me one is a family friend and the other is the niece bt deleted theirs b4 uploading the halfcast picture.

lemme tell yuo the truth and give you answers........
dude is playing a game with your head, this is an old trick i used to use when i was still in the game and welll.....immature, this is fact
1. a cheating guy will try as much as possible to keep his tracks clean
2. posting a pic where he knows you will see it is a game plan

why then is he posting the pic?
its the mixed message signal game plan, you tell a girl you love her, keep her by the side the leave traces that you can get hotter girls by the side,...now this generates a feeling of not being good enuf, guilt (sometimes), the girl tries to please, gives more attention and lastly becomes very weak and vulnerable, ......you call her to come, she comes, spread your....she does that...she will do just about anything to get back the guys attention.

there is also a very slim chance he is cheating and playing this game to keep you on the side

solution
whatever his reasons are, you dont deserve such treatment (some girls do)

now the game paln you will play is called the mirror effect.

look for a good pic of a guy, (good looking, tall and all that shiiii, can send you mine ).......just joking...an ok guy will do...then post it on your wall, you can also customise the pic with letterings like...hapi birthday!...using your phone or pc, prepare for the best or the worst, he is definitely gonna call attention to it, now the masters of this mirror effect game play it cool, never get personal, angry or use an accusatory tone, just tell him he is a good friend or some wonderfull dude you met online...now list the qualities you want in him and attribute it to the guy, tell him how funny and happy the guy makes you feel, but insist he doesnt really mean anything to you, dont say he absolutell doesnt mean anything...give urself elbow room, am just watch his thoughts go mentally haywire. what ever actions he takes remember to play it cool, dont show excess emotion.

ps
1.the last thing you want to do in this condition is give him attention. you a falling into his harem gameplan and feeding his ego
2. if u stay with a guy like this without thinking yourself..you will end up being one ore more of the following, a fvck doll, lady atm, wife material GF while he toys around with the naughty girls, side chick or footmat, or rebound lady to call when the naughty girls fianlly leaves him
3. the worst thing that can happen is to love and marry him in this condition, you will end up with a low self esteem, permanently bruised ego and marital heartbreak,....but he is gonna keep having his fun..........dont try to change him with words, actions speak louder and the time is now, when you are married.......well lets just say there will be more reasons why you will be helpless.

dont be taken for granted
whatever happens is for the best, you will have learnt an invaluable lesson

Move on..............
She is apparently more beautiful than you are [size=5pt]in his eyes[/size].
So when he sees another that is more beautiful than she is,..., it goes on and on like a ferris wheel
But karma is a b**** though, when it catches up with him, oh ishh!!!!