This issue has been on mind though am not yet a father. I really get mad wen I see children being bullied by their age mates, especially the ones that are of the same size wit them. If the bullied kid is mine, I'll sure train him to defend himself against such......wld even send him to a martial art school if I have to.

D on point matta is i wud make him fight back if he not strong enough i wud cane an train him to b strong, an not feeble in dis survival of the fittest 21century world of our.... Bravery stand tall among equals

There is a little "ajebota" terrorist in my baby class and she always come home reporting him, to an extent my baby said she's not going to the school again.i told her to beat him back and she came home the next day "mummy ayo is just big for nothing i beat him today" . since then she hasn't report him again.
They need to learn how to defend themselves!and it helps alot in future{being able to stand up to challenges)

I'll support my kid 2 fight back if he is being bullied by either his age mate or class mate....it wouldn't sound 9ce while reporting 2 me dat he's being bullied by his class mate without fighting he or she back

Its a capital YES for me o,in fact if my son comes home crying and tells me he was bullied in school,I will personally beat him for not defending himself. He has to defend himself o that's why he is a man, then let his teacher come face me,I will ask him or her if he or she took sleeping pills while kids were being bullied in her class. Mi o bimo ode.

I sure support the 'beat your own back' cliche but i dont support it if its my kid that started the fight,i hweva want to ask that some kids are quite bigger than some smaller ones is it still advisable to tell them to fight back as it may lead to a bigger fight?

It is the right thing to do. That's how they learn to defend themselves. Once a bully knows you can defend yourself, he's lost his hold.
Or what would you rather have the child do? Do nothing and choose the oppressed side?
Bullies are never happy until they've pushed the bullied to the ground. So its better to tell your child to have the courage to stand his/her ground and not give any bully the time of day. Fighting back is power that should never be given away.

In an ideal world I guess, easier said than done but then again it actually works at times

fighting back may not be possible, unless you are ready to see your child coming back home with a black eye every now and then.
i'd rather teach my children to STAND THEIR GROUND, rather than fight back, as there will always be a stronger kid out there.

I would do like my parents did. Meet the bully's parents and discus the issue . If that doesn't work, teach my child fighting techniques or get a younger cousin from my kin to bully the bully! And if that doesnt work an na legal action straight! I no get child wen person go make miserable/suicidal . Lai lai! I no gree!

Ayab1203: I would do like my parents did. Meet the bully's parents and discus the issue . If that doesn't work, teach my child fighting techniques or get a younger cousin from my kin to bully the bully! And if that doesnt work an na legal action straight! I no get child wen person go make miserable/suicidal . Lai lai! I no gree!

This can sometimes make the bullying worse

ibkaye:
This can sometimes make the bullying worse

Dats why i have other options. Though this approach worked wen my brother was bcomin a bully in his class. My Dad warned him sternly after d meeting wit d oda kid's parents.

Ayab1203: I would do like my parents did. Meet the bully's parents and discus the issue . If that doesn't work, teach my child fighting techniques or get a younger cousin from my kin to bully the bully! And if that doesnt work an na legal action straight! I no get child wen person go make miserable/suicidal . Lai lai! I no gree!

Funny as it seems, you make sense here so i will vote for your opinion

Yes o I do tell my kids to fight back when beaten. My neighbor's daughters made my kids miserable and they kept reporting to their Nana who in turn complained to their mum to no avail. They just won't stop until I encouraged my boys to fight back and stop reporting. The day they fought back those girls saw hell. Their mum came to complain and I told her off.

No it is not.
If your child wins the fight one day. . .HE OR SHE MIGHT GET AMBUSHED BY A GANG AND GET MAIMED OR KILLED!
It only provokes the bullies to escalate their murderous rampage. . .ESPECIALLY IN A PACK OF ILL-BRED RIFF-RAFFS!
I teach them to report all episodes as children. . . I TAKE IT UP FROM THERE. . .WITH THEIR PARENTS!

As an adult. . .Yes! But as children. . . NO!
They might get lured by so-called 'friends of enemies' to their deaths. . . THEY MAY NOT BE WISE ENOUGH TO SEPARATE FRIENDS FROM FOES. . . . OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!

ALWAYS TEACH THEM TO REPORT ANY FORM OF BULLYING!

It is a PARENT'S war. . .not a child's war!

Even at home. . .I tell them to report the FIRST AGGRESSORS. . .I deal ruthlessly with such offenders! They have come to realize that 'retaliation' is not necessary!

Amen!

Instruction on ''How to Respond To A Bully'' is inscribed ( with pics) on every institution walls here.

1. Look bully straight in the eye and tell him how you feel.
( don't talk to me like that I don't appreciate it, blah blah)

2. Walk Away

3. Report to the Teacher/ Authority.

Teaching your Kids to retaliate is same as what a Bully does .... In other words y'all teaching your kids how to be a bully. Lobatan

By the way, why can't y'all people eradicate smacking, spanking and pain inflicting ways from y'all mentality already, I see it keeps y'all blood flowing,

Violence beget violence don't y'all think??

Jagidijagan sha!

mgbeketoto: No it is not.
If your child wins the fight one day. . .HE OR SHE MIGHT GET AMBUSHED BY A GANG AND GET MAIMED OR KILLED!
It only provokes the bullies to escalate their murderous rampage. . .ESPECIALLY IN A PACK OF ILL-BRED RIFF-RAFFS!
I teach them to report all episodes as children. . . I TAKE IT UP FROM THERE. . .WITH THEIR PARENTS!

As an adult. . .Yes! But as children. . . NO!
They might get lured by so-called 'friends of enemies' to their deaths. . . THEY MAY NOT BE WISE ENOUGH TO SEPARATE FRIENDS FROM FOES. . . . OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!

ALWAYS TEACH THEM TO REPORT ANY FORM OF BULLYING!

It is a PARENT'S war. . .not a child's war!

Even at home. . .I tell them to report the FIRST AGGRESSORS. . .I deal ruthlessly with such offenders! They have come to realize that 'retaliation' is not necessary!

Amen!

1000 likes!
Not only that,children learn very quickly.sooner,they will start thinking that its only tru fighting u settle quarrels.they will get used to d power associated with winning(this time d wrong way) and start abusing it.
Don't forget that u didn't teach him defence tactics too for blows that will come his way.
God forbid something happen along the way.
Teach them to stand up to the guy.
If it didn't work,report d case to u as the parent.u will handle it from there.they r children not adolescents.
We continue to recyle the same thing.too bad

Ayab1203:

Dats why i have other options. Though this approach worked wen my brother was bcomin a bully in his class. My Dad warned him sternly after d meeting wit d oda kid's parents.

Kudos to your Dad, If only all parents of a bully could be like your dad.

Nip it in the bud!

Nothing wrong in giving ur kid a self defense lesson, however violence should not begat violence

I agree with MBJ teach your child to stand his/her ground. There are so many bullies in this world, not just physical it could be mental or emotional bullying.

Kung fu fighting ain't going to work all the time!

jidegirl12: Instruction on ''How to Respond To A Bully'' is inscribed ( with pics) on every institution walls here.

1. Look bully straight in the eye and tell him how you feel.
( don't talk to me like that I don't appreciate it, blah blah)

2. Walk Away

3. Report to the Teacher/ Authority.

Teaching your Kids to retaliate is same as what a Bully does .... In other words y'all teaching your kids how to be a bully. Lobatan

By the way, why can't y'all people eradicate smacking, spanking and pain inflicting ways from y'all mentality already, I see it keeps y'all blood flowing,

Violence beget violence don't y'all think??

Jagidijagan sha!

I will equally vote for your opinion my dear.

Saw this yesterday but had no time to respond/contribute. My answer ie YES. Just yesterday I my daughter of almost 6yrs (who looks 10) NEVER to allow me hear she was bullied in any way or any where or else I`ll give her the beating of a lifetime. Told her walk up to any bully and tear the bully a dirty slap the 1st time it happens. That way, the bully will stay clear of her.

Stand up to any bully

It depends tbh. If the bully in question is of the same age or class as my child then YES however we know in NAIJA that more often than not not the case. It's usually one of those agbaya Senior Boyz

I was bullied as a child in school and at home. Not sure how I survived.

In boarding school, I would do things like urinate in peoples water. Take a dump, put feaces in people's food, clothes....

They deserved it. I was always happy seeing them eat my sh,.it

obowunmi: I was bullied as a child in school and at home. Not sure how I survived.

Very typical of those agbayas called senior boys.

chic2pimp: If the bully in question is of the same age or class as my child then YES

You are right.

I think parents should instill confidence in their children. That confidence would ensure the child defends herself with words or some form of retaliation. I couldn't even be bullied in school and I was one of the tiniest. Look for my trouble and I retaliated or reported to the teacher. Simple!

chic2pimp:

Very typical of those agbayas called senior boys.

I don't get....

stillwater: I think parents should instill confidence in their children. That confidence would ensure the child defends herself with words or some form of retaliation. I couldn't even be bullied in school and I was one of the tiniest. Look for my trouble and I retaliated or reported to the teacher. Simple!

Teach the child what is right and ask him to always do what is right everytime, if it's right to pick up a brick and hit it on the bully's head,well glory be to God, If it's right to plank the guy,so be it.and if its right to walk away he should do just that. Johnny depp has a video about this on youtube

I will teach him to say "If you ever touch me again, i will come to school with my daddy's bodyguard and he will beat you with a whip"
Of course, to make sure that message is effective, i will have to pick him up the following day at school with a mai-guard wearing a military uniform and probably with my huge rottweilers in the car.


Another thing is to personally threaten the bully in the presence of his parents. - Make sure you are visibly angry when doing this, and if his parents intervene, make sure you bully the bully's parents in presence of the bully.

So after we teach our children that violence is the answer to everything then we come back and cry at how bad society is and blame western influence.
I see adults supposedly responsible removing ties and fighting over accidents that can be resolved through peace.
No child should be a walk over but teach them to use their brains rather than their fists.
See violent people all over beating and killing any and everyone they are more powerful than.
Parents beating their children and step children like cows.
Women beating their maids
Men beating their wives and security men
Everybody beating everybody because they have been taught that using the fist is a way to resolve conflicts.

When do we start engaging our brains? And our kids to find reasonable proactive solutions?

We can't even be rational, someone is suspected of stealing the answer is not to carefully reason but to get tyres and burn them.

I will teach my son to report to the right channels, stand his grounds with his mouth and brains not fists.
That bullying child is copying from a violent parent, his father and I are not violent people why should we teach our son to be?

Teaching a son that being a "Man" is about how quick he can resort to violence or respond to violence, beating him for reporting to you as he should rightly do and hoping you as an adult will know how to apply a mature mind to solve the situation only to resort to more violence on him and a lecture that beating someone else is the sign of his being a "man"

I understand what you mean debrief. However i don't completely agree that teaching your child to self defend with his fist when necessary is teaching him or her violence. I'm all for finding diplomatic peaceful means to resolving situations, however, diplomatic efforts without the backing of a real bite or consequence is only as useful as a chocolate teapot. - Additionally, let's face it, you can't really teach a 4 year old to use his brain to resolve a conflict. This outcome rests on the assumption that the other kid in the picture will act maturely which 9 out of 10 times will not likely be the case. A child must be taught to face his or her worst nightmare and to protect himself or herself from it by EVERY means possible!


Reporting a bully to a higher authority is an ideal thing to do, this however does not stop the behavior in most cases. The best result you will hope for is that the bully gets reprimanded by that person of higher authority, but this won't stop the child from being afraid of the bully. The worst thing that can happen to a child's development is having fear instilled in them at a very young age, especially by their peers. In some cases, this affects the child's self esteem and he may start thinking of himself as "weak" and the other person as "strong" - i would rather my child hit his bully with a stone than have him go through this.

A child must be brought up to achieve a "balanced" upbringing - without illusions of a peaceful perfect world. He must be made to understand that there wouldn't always be an authority to report to and his parents wouldn't always be there to protect him, many of the battles he will face in his adult life will have to be won by him -

The rules will be made simple enough for the child to understand.

1) Don't ever beat or hit another child that has done you no wrong
2) Don't ever laugh at or make fun of another child because of the way they look or the clothes they wear
3) If another child beats or hits you, make sure you beat him back immediately. Don't wait for your Aunty before you do this.
4) If another child threatens you, tell them you will bring your big dog to school the following day unless he or she says "sorry"
5) if anyone beats you or threatens you, you must tell me about it everyday when you get back from school