I stopped hanging out with nigerians because some of them think like 2nd tier animals. Seriously. I read this piece

I got a job in New York City a few years ago. I was new to the American North; I still reeked of the South. Pillsbury biscuits, Georgian peaches and Jiffy cornbread with a dollop of Daisy. Chick-Fil-A, Bojangles’ and Piggly Wiggly. I was a Southern American, in many ways. Cheerful, trusting, polite, Bible-wielding, slow-talkin’, Southern. South of the Potomac, East of the Mississippi. Paisley print blouses, plastic sunflowers hot glued on Payless Shoes open-toe rubber sandals. But I was all right, I guess. Perhaps a bit wide-eyed, gap-tooth grinning, but I was all right.
The job was with a news media outfit that covers Africa and the affairs of the black Diaspora. It was fashionable, in every sense, that media company. Funded by big-name multinationals, Third World saviors, it sought to tackle malfeasance and corruption with heavy handed, not always credible citizen reportage. The company had made its name among particular Westerners and Fela-loving expatriate Africans, students of the school of thought that says African governments need a total sociopolitical upheaval to weed out the kleptocrats before anything substantial can be planted, plug in the former student union grassroots activists who give a care about the proletariat, slum dwellers, retired civil servants, and unemployed twenty somethings. A single-handed crusade propelled by American dollars and mercenary Africaphiles, this media company had recruited a handful of passionate, impressionable youngsters with a compelling allegiance to Africa. Aluta Continua! Help the motherland. We thought, or at least I did.

So I went to work. My title was a new one. Within that role, I initiated new projects, helped revive slumbering ventures, planned and promoted the awesomeness of the company — what we were doing and where we hoped to go. I tuned in, excited about every single part of the job. Everything seemed fine in the beginning.

I went out with the boss one evening to hang out after work. I was still new to the North, still new to the city. A Nigerian immigrant in his early 40s, the boss had a hip rugged fashion aesthetic, quintessentially urban: distressed brown jackets and boots, a hefty brown backpack. He was the rebel with a cause, a card-carrying activist. Encrusted in the syrupy coos of his admirers, he has fans on both sides of the Atlantic. He was charisma defined.

He’d been nice to me thus far, a listening ear for my Southerner’s rants and observations on northern culture. We walked around the street corner to a swanky new spot with a shiny glass exterior and perfumed-scented, dimly lit interior. Good living people in stiletto pumps and crisp blazers, leather and lace, hung there. He led me to a couch in the corner where we sat down. I don’t drink, so I didn’t order. We chit chatted pleasantly about school, guys, Africa, Nigerians, our past, our future.

When we get up to leave, he grabs my waist. He pulls me to his chest. He leans in for a kiss. My stunned mind stops thinking. It shuts down; I hurry to turn it back on. Easy, Chika. Don’t embarrass the man. Take it easy. I slide out of his arms with a surprising calm. I’m just not interested. I say his name for effect. It works. He gets the point, yet the perplexity in his eyes remains. I never bring it up. It’s like it never happened. It never happened again.

As time goes on, I grew in confidence at work as I befriended my fellow colleagues and further solidified my commitment to “the Africa cause” and to excel in my job performance. I began expressing my opinions about the way things were done, and offering suggestions on how I thought we could improve in production quality and efficiency. The boss welcomed the suggestions, in the beginning, but only to a certain extent.

Time after time, I begin to notice a pattern: he seemed to have issues with women, especially expressive women with a backbone.

“She’s arrogant,” he would often say with a sneer and a dismissive shrug whenever I would mention names of high-profile successful women I admired. Whether it was author Chimamanda Adichie, or a well-known female journalist, or a female politician, it seemed all successful women were inherently arrogant to him.

Eventually, my efforts at work never seem good enough. The boss is known to be hot-tempered and I was often on the receiving end of his sarcastic remarks, his angst, his frustration, and disapproval. Any gaps from my colleagues, anything they failed to do, it was usually my fault. I was the office scapegoat. Some of my colleagues noticed this. They’d throw me sympathetic glances or they’d simply try to ignore the situation and keep their eyes glued to their computer screens. After such occurred not once or twice or thrice but on multiple instances, I soon became aware of the hierarchy. My male colleagues seldom received the boss’s butchering complaints. I’d arrive to work and the boss would remain silent to my greetings. My male colleagues would arrive and the boss would say hey what’s up man and crack jokes with them and have a jolly good time. He had a propensity to engage in sex jokes with my male colleagues, the kind of lewd comedy high school boys often entertain.

My female colleagues usually fulfilled the boss’s wishes without much objection, but on the whole, it looked to me like the guys were coasting.

In my role at work, I was frequently undermined. He’d constantly override decisions I had already made with his prior authorization. He’d demean my work in the presence of others. He’d sometimes shut down my attempts to join the staff in their friendly, office banter. He rarely expressed gratitude about my initiatives and strategies that were clearly having a positive effect on the company.
“Do you really think you’re directing anything?” A colleague once asked me.
The situation deteriorated. I pushed myself harder, completing massive amounts of work by staying late into the night when everyone else had gone home. Graveyard shifting, early mornings. He began shouting at me in the workplace in front of my colleagues. My cheerful, trusting, polite, Bible-wielding, slow-talkin’, Southern mannerisms were dissipating. The city was taking its toll on me. I felt like discarded mush. I planned my exit. Looked for another job.

One day he called me to meet him in the office. In the meeting, he said the company is losing money, said he had to let me go. Though I was the one who was suddenly unemployed, it was his emotions and composure that began to unravel as I fought to keep the work I had produced – works that were mine. The payment I was promised because I was not given notice of my termination in advance, he didn’t pay me anywhere near half of it. He lied and said I was never even employed, said I was just a contractor, a freelancer or something like that. My work agreement had conveniently disappeared from where I had placed it inside my work desk months ago. The intervention meeting we were supposed to have where we were supposed to present our cases before two or three mediators, well, that was conveniently cancelled. A male colleague and a prominent columnist with the company intervened, but nothing much came out of it. Perhaps, they – both guys – ended up siding with the boss.
Because the boss had already depicted me as “one of those” power-hungry, erratic, opinionated, overly assertive, selfish girls, one who eagerly challenged his authority. That false image suited his chauvinistic motives.
“You like attention,” he once told me.
Wrong. I’m actually as shy as a kiwi bird.
“You’re a career woman,” he once told me. It came out as a judgmental scoff. He’s a career man himself, but because it’s more socially acceptable for men to devote much time and energy to their professional lives, the term “career man” is seldom used.
In the workplace, women often work twice as hard as their male colleagues, yet still face the brunt of disapproval when things don’t go right, while male colleagues seem to get by. We put in overtime – a 2013 study from the Ponemon Institute revealed that women employees “work harder and longer” than men do. Another 2013 study from Edith Cowan University and the University of New England found that “women experience more rude and disrespectful behavior in the workplace, but they tolerated it more.” We continuously strive to be on the good side of the boss. Women seem to always be compensating for something. Their womanhood?
Most of the women who worked at that company hardly objected or posed a challenge to my former boss’s sugarcoated slurs and sly insolence. But I had an opinion and I voiced it. My opinions, my free-willed spirit and intolerance for nonsense cost me my job… for that I am grateful.
My former boss’s attitude toward women is not unique.

I had a conversation with a gentleman here in Nigeria who said women in positions of power always become over-bearing, whereas men know how to handle leadership and success with humility.
“It gets to their heads,” he said of women in management roles.
Looking back, I realize that my experience at that New York City-based media company was not atypical. I wrote this piece “It Happened To Me” bolstered by the courage I summoned immediately after reading a blog post a few days ago (read here) entitled “The White Savior Industrial Complex & Sexual Harassment of African Female Aid Workers” by Lesley Agams. Agams vividly describes an assault by a male colleague while working as the Nigeria country director for the renown Oxfam GB. After the assault, the man in question handed her a contract termination letter. Many of my fellow women have confided in me, sharing harrowing real-life tales of near-rape incidents in the workplace, cases where they were told to sleep with the boss to get a promotion, and aggressive intimidation by male supervisors.
And it’s not only the overtly patriarchal, “man-is-the-head” types who are committing this abuse.
It’s also the hash-tagging, progressive, left-winged liberals garbed in trendy activist attire: thick soled boots and dashikis, plaid button-downs and worn blue jeans with worn sneakers, or cropped blazers over cotton shirts without neckties. These activists are too often propped up in a righteous spotlight. They march on as darlings of the revolution, unexamined. Their act-ivism is unstoppable… their acts, unstoppable.
I met one of these young self-titled human rights activist types. He was among those arrested for protesting during the 2012 Occupy Nigeria rallies. This guy picks and chooses his causes and apparently the advancement of women is not one of them. In his mind, women’s rights are not important enough. After I voiced my opposition to his foul groping and leering sexual advances on me, he told me “women’s rights are not human rights.”
Even the Pan-African activist revolutionary himself, Fela Kuti once sang, “When I say woman na mattress I no lie.”
Confiding in others about incidents of workplace harassment and intimidation often backfires. Some employees get terminated. Others stay in those toxic work environments after they are made to doubt their own perceptions.
Relax, calm down, maybe it’s your imagination, it’s no big deal, maybe you’re just stressed out, well you know you’re very pretty, he didn’t mean it that way, dress more conservatively, forget about it, maybe you led him on, well… ignore it, just pray about it, you can be very emotional, you’re being dramatic, um…stop working late hours in the office, say no next time, these things happen, you’re overreacting, are you sure?
Yes, I am sure.
Harassment is still harassment whether in the form of intimidation in the workplace, sexual propositions or subtle or obvious oppression.
In his 1,621-word editorial, (which you can read here) Los Angeles-based social commentator Yashar Ali compares the emotional manipulation and harassment of women to gaslighting, a coined term referencing the 1944 feature movie in which Charles Boyer’s character employs wily strategies to make his wife, played by Ingrid Bergman, believe she is crazy. Off the Hollywood production sets, real life is full of cases where women, distressed in the workplace, keep quiet for fear of being labeled troublesome. Or crazy. They allow perpetrators to go free, especially when the perpetrator is a popular man.

If we share our experiences collectively, we can break down the wall of silence.
It’s time to tell our stories.

And here is what a "Nigerian man" had to say

olu: Women of these days tire me I beg.
If you are not really interested in your boss, what did you decided to hang out with him for?
In your own words, you wrote that you decided to hang out in a bar with your boss after work. What kind of messages or vibes do you think you were passing on to this your 'boss'?
What kind of women hangs out with their bosses after work? Was hanging out with your boss after work part of your work schedule?
I bet you knew that man was happily married and u still decided to go to a club or bar with him and now you are claiming ignorance and innocence after being tossed like a rotten milkshake.

If you have a boyfriend at that time, dont u think your boyfriend would have felt offended by u hanging out with men after work? What do you think your boyfriend would have thought of you for that singular act?
They lured a man on and once the man makes his move, they now start claiming sexual molestation.

This is becoming too ridiculous. Every little thing is now sexual harassment.
Meanwhile all the women at my work-place, both married and unmarried keeps on wearing tight pants, showing off their booties' in front of me all the time.
Maybe I should file complaints of sexual harassment against all of them. At times I wonder what kinds of men allowed their wives to dress so revealing.
One can't even concentrate at work with all these Bs and Hs all over with their cleavages poking at you.

Why do women acts like this? If you don't like a guy, don't entertain him, period. Don't give him audience. Let him realize that you are unavailable upfront. Don't start wearing miniskirts and very tight pants in front of him, shaking your Yansh front left to back right, only for you to start feeling cheap and offended when the man respond by making moves on you.

You better beg for forgiveness from God and repent so that you can get a real man who will wife u up after all your escapades with men both married and unmarried all over the places you have worked.
I rest my case.
olu@atlanta.

Seriously, did a breathing human being just reason like a BIG FOOL? Nigerian men, when will you all stop thinking like simple idiots. I'm sure some retards will say the piece is too long but will hurriedly post on non-beneficial articles about "wizkid" stupid nigerians.

^^Silly Nigerians?
With everything I just read, me no fit take you serious!
I think #Olu gave it to you as it is.

But seriously, are SOME women not mattresses?

And yes, it goes both ways, some men are public taps.

I have no opinion about the write up yet, until i know where this is going.

Birds of a feather.
The article was written by Chika Oduah not me retard

kwangi: ^^Silly Nigerians?
With everything I just read, me no fit take you serious!
I think #Olu gave it to you as it is.

Of course, yet the idiot says that it is the WOMAN's FAULT she is harassed because she dresses in skirts? REALLY?

tpia@:
But seriously, are SOME women not mattresses?

And yes, it goes both ways, some men are public taps.

I have no opinion about the write up yet, until i know where this is going.

ozo_emeka: Birds of a feather.
The article was written by Chika Oduah not me retard

How old are you?
And why the paranoia?

paranoia of what? Just turned 21 - why?

Nigerian men and their insecurities. Why are you guys so insecure that you have to WANT TO control women? You can't be a man and have a woman naturally follow?

kwangi: How old are you?
And why the paranoia?

Chick-Fil-A, Bojangles’

they have some good food!

Dis Chika Oduah never talk the true koko of the story -- that is where she got d*cked down by the boss and was left high and dry with no more supply of the agba because the boss had several options to choose from.

Whatever happened to eating a bowl of ice cream to move on? E be writing sob stories all over the internet na dey reign now. Everybody wanna be a blogger.

really?

eziza: Dis Chika Oduah never talk the true koko of the story -- that is where she got d*cked down by the boss and was left high and dry with no more supply of the agba because the boss had several options to choose from.

Whatever happened to eating a bowl of ice cream to move on? E be writing sob stories all over the internet na dey reign now. Everybody wanna be a blogger.

I think OLU made more sense than that Odua of woman..I don't really understand what she is trying to say.
So now there are PURE NIGERIANS and UNPURE NIGERIANS..haha ok.

"pure" - born, 100% genetic , raised etc

thoth: I think OLU made more sense than that Odua of woman..I don't really understand what she is trying to say.
So now there are PURE NIGERIANS and UNPURE NIGERIANS..haha ok.

there are 6 Nigerians , all 6 of them are 45 years old, can you tell us which one is a pure Nigerian according to your definition.

1: Born in Nigeria,left Nigeria before 18 years to USA.
2: Born in USA , left USA before 18 to Nigeria.
3:Born in Nigeria and raised in Nigeria, Mother is a white British woman.
4:Born in Nigeria, left Nigeria after 18 years.
5:Born in Cameroun and raised in Cameroun.
6;Born in USA and left USA for Nigeria after 18 years.

1, 4 now behaviorally 2, 3* may act like one

thoth: there are 6 Nigerians , all 6 of them are 45 years old, can you tell us which one is a pure Nigerian according to your definition.


1: Born in Nigeria,left Nigeria before 18 years to USA.
2: Born in USA , left USA before 18 to Nigeria.
3:Born in Nigeria and raised in Nigeria, Mother is a white British woman.
4:Born in Nigeria, left Nigeria after 18 years.
5:Born in Cameroun and raised in Cameroun.
6;Born in USA and left USA for Nigeria after 18 years.

ozo_emeka: 1, 4 now behaviorally 2, 3* may act like one

Shame , you know when i read your post i know you are probably suffering from a serious complex, i deliberately added number 3 as a trap and you fell for it. so 3 MAY act like one just because he was raised by a white woman ?
I think you and chika should marry some white man and leave us and our mothers who could not raise us well alone. nobody will really notice.

Lollllllllll. Ozoemeka, for once a male is talking. I am proud of you. There is actually a harassment-fest going on in Nigeria. So it is like a culture to them, hence the response. The nigerian male approach to women is disgusting. That is why they are likely to be jailed for sexual harassment or rape when they travel out of Nigeria. I understand what you mean by the pure ones, rotflmao, those 'thoroughbreds' that even if they travel overseas you can still smell the stench on them.

stillwater: That is why they are likely to be jailed for sexual harassment

So if Chika Oduah actually believed she was sexually harassed, why didn't she report the case to the police instead of blogging about it? The whole story is a figment of her imagination and I doubt ozoemeka is male.

My advice to Chika Oduah as a "pure Nigerian" man is:

1) Stop sharing the kongo anyhow. After you don share the kongo to dem broke azz nigguhs wey no get work but to f*ck all day and dem don slacken the thing finish, you come dey expect make a pure Nigerian man wey be oga to take am seriously? You must be dreaming.

2) Use alum to wash the kongo to tighten it up and I reiterate, stop sharing it anyhow coz Lord knows you bible-wielding conservative haux are very liberal with the pucci.

^^^Lol, ozoemeka, now that is a pure Nigerian. Dirty and uncouth in manner of speech.

^
And nothing stimulates the brain of the Nigerian female (pure or diluted) quicker than lowbrow conversations and before you know it the panties don drop.

Dem dey craze! : )

MAY...... ACT LIKE A NIGERIAN

You forgot to emphasize that. Besides Obama was raised by a white woman? Have you noticed oBama acting "Black" or should I say "Kenyan". I'm waiting for your very erudite reply

thoth:
Shame , you know when i read your post i know you are probably suffering from a serious complex, i deliberately added number 3 as a trap and you fell for it. so 3 MAY act like one just because he was raised by a white woman ?
I think you and chika should marry some white man and leave us and our mothers who could not raise us well alone. nobody will really notice.

The nigerian male approach to women is disgusting.

Even here, once I had a nigerian friend, we were talking about Lil Wayne sleeping with a 15 year old and his answer shocked life out of me. He said
" 9ussy na 9ussy, if the girl come open for you you dey tell me you no go gree, abeg if she look like she old pass am and she no talk about am I go knack"

I was 19 btw and this guy was 27.

I understand what you mean by the pure ones, rotflmao, those 'thoroughbreds' that even if they travel overseas you can still smell the stench on them.

LOL Yes, those OVERTYPICAL "nigerian guys" like chill with your Nigerianness...lol.

I am and unfortunately for you I don't have to have a Pig misogynistic view of women. They love me naturally, I love them. So why do I need to "want to display dominance" I am a man, I should naturally be dominant and just be confident and in charge. Males who want to show "manhood' are insecure weaklings, which unfortunately a bulk of Nigerian men fall into, the same friend I know accused me of "loving confident girls" he says confident girls tend to have an opinion of their own and that he'd rather have a wife he can tell to sit and do things and she will obey. I asked him to get a slave rather than a wife.

If she reported to the police they reason like you. They will also tell her that she must be lying and that she must have wanted to sleep with him. Why don't all guys get it? A girl can smile at you and not be even remotely attracted to you. Am I wrong ladies?

eziza:

So if Chika Oduah actually believed she was sexually harassed, why didn't she report the case to the police instead of blogging about it? The whole story is a figment of her imagination and I doubt ozoemeka is male.

eziza: Lord knows you bible-wielding conservative haux are very liberal with the pucci.

ozo_emeka: I am

Well, the Gay Agenda and all sorts of backward behaviours are thriving in the West. And who knows, you may be one of those confused lot who believe they are females trapped in a male's body and are fighting desperately so that they will be able to use the female restrooms like other naturally born females so that you can be sitting down to take a piss instead of standing up like a man.

ozo_emeka: I don't have to have a Pig misogynistic view of women.

ozo_emeka:

I am a man, I should naturally be dominant and just be confident and in charge.

Go tell that to the feminist and they will call you a misogynist. I can see you are contradicting yourself and you don't know where you stand especially with women. My dear, go use the women's restroom and call it a day.

ozo_emeka:
If she reported to the police they reason like you. They will also tell her that she must be lying and that she must have wanted to sleep with him.

Why would the police assume that without an investigation, and to hear the other side of the story? But you no see you now, even in Nigeria such cases are dealt with at least to hear both sides of the story and this was supposed to happen in the good ol' US of A where women can file sexual harassment cases so easily and the cases are taken seriously and not swept under the carpet. But your Chika Oduah could not report it after she believed she was sexually harassed? But could find solace in a blog? Why? Is it because she is a Nigerian woman who loves taking it with a smile from their pure Nigerian men? Taking it from the back that is! : )

ozo_emeka: Makes your calibre of women very clear. Low brow easy women.

And even if your conclusion is true, it wouldn't make me less of a man.

ozo_emeka:

Besides she never slept with the man, you assume ALL FEMALE EMPLOYEES want to sleep with their boss? You watch a lot of movies.

So how do you know she did not sleep with him? Were you there when it all went down? And no, all female employees do not want to sleep with their boss neither do all bosses want to sleep with their female employees. However, I do believe Chika Oduah took some nuts on her face consensually. From the boss that is.

ozo_emeka: MAY...... ACT LIKE A NIGERIAN

You forgot to emphasize that. Besides Obama was raised by a white woman? Have you noticed oBama acting "Black" or should I say "Kenyan". I'm waiting for your very erudite reply

if writing MAY in capital letters does not give it enough empahsis then i don't know how else to put it...maybe it is just my Nigerianess at it again.

Classic. Throw the gay joke once a guy doesn't want to stick his d1ck in everything. That I have class, decorum and CHOOSE who gets to sit on my D1ck doesn't = less man. Males stick their d1cks anywhere, MEN are selective. So if I said, YES let's r@pe Chika and every girl in the office wants to be f-ckd then I will be cheered on as a man? See how retarded your thinking is?

Try
The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood by William J Bennett

I did not contradict myself - A man should be STRONG, DOMINANT (of MY environ), CONFIDENT and IN CHARGE (of HIMSELF, his Actions, etc)

vs

A misogynistic view - a MALE who wants to be IN CHARGE (of everything and everyone around him) to this one DOMINANCE of EVERYONE is his way of spearheading. These are the guys that WANT to be SEEN as in charge, with all the posses.. This sounds like what you want to be or your IDEAL. This is the majority of Nigerian men. Unfortunately


When was the last time you saw Obama TRYING to be/to be seen as DOMINANT, or even "dominating" a conversation? YET he is indeed DOMINANT, he gives the AURA of Confidence, Power, Dominance and Strength, THAT is a man.

Clear?

Chika told YOU that she took it from the back? She didn't? I guess then you would do best to shut up and shut your imagination along with it.

eziza:

Well, the Gay Agenda and all sorts of backward behaviours are thriving in the West. And who knows, you may be one of those confused lot who believe they are females trapped in a male's body and are fighting desperately so that they will be able to use the female restrooms like other naturally born females so that you can be sitting down to take a piss instead of standing up like a man.





Go tell that to the feminist and they will call you a misogynist. I can see you are contradicting yourself and you don't know where you stand especially with women. My dear, go use the women's restroom and call it a day.



Why would the police assume that without an investigation, and to hear the other side of the story? But you no see you now, even in Nigeria such cases are dealt with at least to hear both sides of the story and this was supposed to happen in the good ol' US of A where women can file sexual harassment cases so easily and the cases are taken seriously and not swept under the carpet. But your Chika Oduah could not report it after she believed she was sexually harassed? But could find solace in a blog? Why? Is it because she is a Nigerian woman who loves taking it with a smile from their pure Nigerian men? Taking it from the back that is! : )

I see the type of person I am talking to.

FYI: It does. MEN do not sleep with everything running around in a skirt. You are the type to sleep with the help, or a 12 year old and claim - she has a pu-ssy. Sleeping around DOES not make you a man - at all. Sex is easy to get, way too easy.

eziza:

And even if your conclusion is true, it wouldn't make me less of a man.




So how do you know she did not sleep with him? Were you there when it all went down? And no, all female employees do not want to sleep with their boss neither do all bosses want to sleep with their female employees. However, I do believe Chika Oduah took some nuts on her face consensually. From the boss that is.

maybe

thoth:
if writing MAY in capital letters does not give it enough empahsis then i don't know how else to put it...maybe it is just my Nigerianess at it again.