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How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by vanitty: 7:47am On Aug 23, 2013
Greatest respect accorded but the man is a fool. Simply because the pastor didn't mediate ( which is wrong) does not mean the wife is cheating with him, that is a very disrespectful and bullying tactics on the side of the man.
With his actions he is more or less ruining the church, the pastor's life and his life. I sure hope he can prove this allegation.

Mr Pastor, A Pastor that can't mediate shouldn't be one!
Been a pastor is more about preaching on the altar
A pastor should be able to counsel ANY of his congregation without fear

I actually feel sorry for the wife caught in the middle between pastor and hubby.
What we have to realise is the man has always allowed her excesses, this my pastor is always right can sometimes be psychological.
I know people that will defend their pastor to their last breath so I know of what I say!
Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by Nobody: 8:00am On Aug 23, 2013
Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by bellong: 8:22am On Aug 23, 2013
The funny thing is that some of these pastors can go to any length to start a church. I once had a priviledge to have assess to a case involving a pastor and a top executive in an international company. This top executive is a member of a prayer group that comprises of pastors.

One of the pastors in this group planned starting his own church but had no fund to start. He colluded with some boys to start placing threatening calls to the executive. Of course, he gave them all information about his family and because of this depth of information, the man feared for his life. He eventually succumbed to these threat calls and paid about Two million naira to them. After one month, they started the call again because they found an ATM machine in him. It was at this time the man reported to one of the law enforcement agencies.

The guys were caught and investigation revealed that it was the pastor who was behind the whole scenario. When the pastor was asked why he did it, he said because he wanted to buy land to start a church and he had no money so he had to do what he did.

People need to understand that you don't just hand over all your family's information and details to a pastor except you have the gift of discernment to know who is who. A word is enough for the wise and foolish alike..
Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by sugardaddy1(m): 9:38am On Aug 23, 2013
chaircover: Vanitty, this is one of the problems that many homes are facing

My pastor this, my pastor that. Daddy said this, daddy said that. Pastors are now second hand "husbands" in some womens homes.

Its all down to lazy Christianity. People who dont want to take the trouble to seek God themselves, but go through a middle man. A pastors job is to guide and teach. He is not the way to God. He is not the truth nor the light. Some people cant make simple simple decisions without taking their whole family to pastor. . . .a pastor who in many cases too is struggling with his own issues.

Its when you get close to pastors, that you will know that firstly they are human like everyone else. I always tell people not to be fooled. The days of men of God who really served God with all their heart and might have long gone. Today many are just in it due to joblessness and have a sweet tongue. How many churches were around during our parents and grandparents days? but today, every street has at least one church. Did God suddenly call all these people in 2010?

Some peoples homes have broken apart due to "pastors" and many are already in the process, but because people dont like mentioning men of God as the root cause, they blame it on something else. Not many men like the posters inlaw will come out and blatantly point a finger at a pastor. Men will always be men and no one wants to share his wife with anybody in any shape or form. he was seething with the late night phonecalls & his wifes closeness to the pastor but he didnt do anything about it because it was a pastor, until he couldnt bear it anymore and the while thing exploded. If the husband had dealt with it earlier, then they all wouldnt have been in this situation.

I pray that people will be wise and place the hope they have on their pastors on God Himself.

The bolded is the exact reason why this thread has been created because whether we like it or not, a man must be a man. If, as a man, you cannot protect your family, wife or marraige from any intruder of any guise, then frankly speaking, you are not man enough. But then again, you realize that these days, there are a whole lot of pastors, prophets, priests,evangelists, etc that we have to interact with in the coourse of our daily activities and these interactions are somweehat healthy or unhealthy for marriages, depending on how you manage them. As we cannot easiliy discern who is who among this category of people (the pastors), it is imprtant that all married couples know where to draw the boundary with such interactions.
Some salient points have been shared here so far notably that:-
1. A woman should look up to her husband as her spirirual head and not her pastor, evangelist, etc
2. No man should allow his wife to be unduly exposed to the excesses of these men of God for too long e.g. persistent late night calling of your wife by any pastor for whatever resaons.Let me also add here that my cousin's husband showed evidence of calls of up to 60-90mins almost on a daily basis between her and the said pastor spanning a period of over 3 months where the subject of the discussions still remains a mystery till this moment .
3. Pastors are humans and not some tin gods
I have shared some of the comments and views expressed on this thread with my cousin and suddenly, she seems alarmed at the gravity of the issue at hand.
Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by damiso(f): 11:35am On Aug 23, 2013
chaircover: Vanitty, this is one of the problems that many homes are facing

My pastor this, my pastor that. Daddy said this, daddy said that. Pastors are now second hand "husbands" in some womens homes.

Its all down to lazy Christianity. People who dont want to take the trouble to seek God themselves, but go through a middle man. A pastors job is to guide and teach. He is not the way to God. He is not the truth nor the light. Some people cant make simple simple decisions without taking their whole family to pastor. . . .a pastor who in many cases too is struggling with his own issues.

Its when you get close to pastors, that you will know that firstly they are human like everyone else. I always tell people not to be fooled. The days of men of God who really served God with all their heart and might have long gone. Today many are just in it due to joblessness and have a sweet tongue. How many churches were around during our parents and grandparents days? but today, every street has at least one church. Did God suddenly call all these people in 2010?

Some peoples homes have broken apart due to "pastors" and many are already in the process, but because people dont like mentioning men of God as the root cause, they blame it on something else. Not many men like the posters inlaw will come out and blatantly point a finger at a pastor. Men will always be men and no one wants to share his wife with anybody in any shape or form. he was seething with the late night phonecalls & his wifes closeness to the pastor but he didnt do anything about it because it was a pastor, until he couldnt bear it anymore and the while thing exploded. If the husband had dealt with it earlier, then they all wouldnt have been in this situation.

I pray that people will be wise and place the hope they have on their pastors on God Himself.

CC it really takes alot of discernment and wisdom in order to be able to keep a respectful distance and has you said (the bible as well when paul said will we continue to be babies to be tossed round by all doctrines) by choosing to seek God yourself.I can so personally relate to this topic (not that I think my pastor has any ulterior motive, I think he genuinely does care but sometimes can come across as being intrusive ) cos I had to caution myself in the past.He still finds it odd that I dont call him up everytime I have an issue but really I dont see the need.Some people call the pastor before they book a family holiday and am like WTH .Some people give some kain testimony eh, my manager was victimising me that I come to work late so I called pastor and we prayed now he has been transferred to another branch lipsrsealed embarassed.Am like if na me my first question would be why do you go to work late? undecided

Sometimes it's cos we are so caught up in the zeal to serve in His vineyard and then sometimes get caught up far deeper in religion rather than actually serving God.My pastor sometime this year said he wanted to nominate me from our parish to go for a pastoral course and I respectfully declined.He was upset that I was declining a call to serve but I told him I need conviction from God and my husband's approval before I could do it.Besides I dont think my actual ministry is really to be a pastor, so there undecided.
Re: How Close Should "Men Of God" Be To Married Couples? by sugardaddy1(m): 2:13pm On Aug 23, 2013
damiso:

CC it really takes alot of discernment and wisdom in order to be able to keep a respectful distance and has you said (the bible as well when paul said will we continue to be babies to be tossed round by all doctrines) by choosing to seek God yourself.I can so personally relate to this topic (not that I think my pastor has any ulterior motive, I think he genuinely does care but sometimes can come across as being intrusive ) cos I had to caution myself in the past.He still finds it odd that I dont call him up everytime I have an issue but really I dont see the need.Some people call the pastor before they book a family holiday and am like WTH .Some people give some kain testimony eh, my manager was victimising me that I come to work late so I called pastor and we prayed now he has been transferred to another branch lipsrsealed embarassed.Am like if na me my first question would be why do you go to work late? undecided

Sometimes it's cos we are so caught up in the zeal to serve in His vineyard and then sometimes get caught up far deeper in religion rather than actually serving God.My pastor sometime this year said he wanted to nominate me from our parish to go for a pastoral course and I respectfully declined.He was upset that I was declining a call to serve but I told him I need conviction from God and my husband's approval before I could do it.Besides I dont think my actual ministry is really to be a pastor, so there undecided.
You are a very wise woman.

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