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An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) - Literature (14) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) (320945 Views)

Tarasha - (An Action Thriller) - Story Of The Month - January 2016 / The Adjacent. A Crime Thriller / All In A Circle.....(A crime story) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kunlesehan(m): 12:55am On Sep 19, 2013
the mod is so carried away by your story that he has forgotten to put it on frontpage ... lol

1 Like

Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by frank317: 5:56am On Sep 19, 2013
Okay, this is beautiful had to wake up so early to finish it up. Nice power of imagination u gat there. Have ever thought of being a detective?
U succeded in distracting me from workin on my own thread, i cant allow u get me, never!!!

MeanwhiLe why did u suddenly change sean's narration style, pls try and Be consistent with that. I mean, we started with reaing sean's side of the story from sean himself, why did that change?

Further, pls try and Indicate an end to a scene with more than just a space, use *** if possible. This is for dull readers like me not to get confused.

Over all, u are doing a very great work.

1 Like

Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 6:05am On Sep 19, 2013
@frank, what an honor it is to have u read and comment. Glad I could distract you.

Abt the change of perspective, it was a mistake. I had started narrating Sean's scenes from his own side using a first person style, but got carried away with using second person narration for him. I hoped no one wld notice. You did. Thanks. I'm more comfortable this way jare. I'll think abt editing Sean's scenes when I'm done.

Abt the indication for change of scenes, noted sir! Tonight's update will have the changes.

Frank, thanks a lot. These sort of criticisms are priceless.

Thanks so much. If u run from here ehn! I go....
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Nduking92(m): 6:48am On Sep 19, 2013
Kay,gudmorning sir.i think u know why enough comment aint coming,not dat am complaining though
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 7:12am On Sep 19, 2013
Pls can you tell me? Why aint they coming?
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by gosifechris: 12:55pm On Sep 19, 2013
Incredible.me:
Am begining to lyk dis sophie, very sophisticated bitch.
Reminds me of AMANDA in d tv series NIKITA

yap same here, she iz more like alex

d sexy new gal although not ish
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by ugonnah(m): 2:17pm On Sep 19, 2013
Kayemjay...dis is pure talent at its best!...21 gun salute for you!!!
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Incredibleme: 3:56pm On Sep 19, 2013
gosifechris:

yap same here, she iz more like alex

d sexy new gal although not ish
xactly. I meant to say alex. Bt alex iz wit d gud guys na.
Amanda z more like a serpent, which describes sophie
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Incredibleme: 3:58pm On Sep 19, 2013
Bro kay, more ororo to ur bones, nd more mb to ur pc or waeva u use.
*thumps up*
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by gosifechris: 5:06pm On Sep 19, 2013
Incredible.me:

xactly. I meant to say alex. Bt alex iz wit d gud guys na.
Amanda z more like a serpent, which describes sophie

yap,you are right but when on mission,she can be naughty like sophia but yea again,she iz like amanda due to their roles as super agent,lieutenants or wateva unlike alex,who is more like sean
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 5:25pm On Sep 19, 2013
I think I need to see this Nikita movie
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Kslib(m): 5:28pm On Sep 19, 2013
kayemjay: I think I need to see this Nikita movie
If you haven't,then dont.. If you do,it might influence the way you'll be writing this story henceforth..
.. Na series E be sha, not just a movie..
..
All izz well!
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by pwettytemmy(f): 5:34pm On Sep 19, 2013
OMG, I can't do this anymore, I can't continue to chop and clean mouth. You're just too good. More ink to ur pen. Waiting patiently for 8 to nack.

1 Like

Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 5:56pm On Sep 19, 2013
@kslib, ooooshey!

@pwetty temmy, Thanks hun.

Action continues @ 8pm.

The plot thickens.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 6:03pm On Sep 19, 2013
ugonnah: Kayemjay...dis is pure talent at its best!...21 gun salute for you!!!
Thanks bro.

@mutaino, @olushola, I see you guys. Thanks.

Na wetin I dey talk so. Una comments just dey make my head swell. Luv u guys die.

The rest of the 'chop and clean mouthers', I dey wait una o.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 8:02pm On Sep 19, 2013
The Colonel sat in the living room, scrutinizing the sim cards that the detective had just gotten. With his personal phone, he called Customer Care and complained that his number was not going through. He could not make calls neither could he receive calls. He was asked to call the digits of his phone number so that they could help ascertain what the issue was. He called the digits on the new sim and was put on hold. After a while of holding on, he was told that the number was not in use. It could be a new number or an incorrect number.

“How long have you been using this line please?” the Call center agent asked pleasantly.

He hung up.

He tore the sim from its pack. He was going to insert it into Ahmed’s phone later, probably at midnight. He relaxed on the couch and touched his groin, rubbing his ball5 gently. The kick Ahmed gave him had hurt. He was surprised himself at how he was able to fake the absence of pain. But such sacrifices were necessary. He needed Ahmed to be ready. There was still a lot of work to be done. The Colonel’s eyes moved to the small table in the center of the room. The bugs he had taken out of Ahmed’s bedroom and also the ones he took out from the living room lay scattered all over. He had forgotten about them.

The bugs were powerful high functioning cameras. But they could only be deployed and monitored over a 200 meter radius. The Colonel was in deep thought. This meant that whoever was watching Ahmed had to be close by. Very close. He had not seen or heard any strange sounds in the house. This meant that the control device was not there. Ahmed walked lazily into the sitting room, holding his waist. He sat on another couch, a considerable distance away from the Colonel. He did not want another lesson so soon.

“Son, have you noticed anything strange or out of place in the attitude of your neighbors? Or estate residents?” The Colonel asked.

Ahmed almost asked why but thought better.

“I have not Uncle. I do not have the time to monitor my neighbors. I don’t speak to anyone. The Old woman who lives two houses away says a greeting every time I drive by. I always murmur a reply. I barely hear myself. I am not concerned about their affairs.” Ahmed replied.

“Detective Ahmed Haruna! Don’t just say whatever comes to your head boy! Think! Have you noticed anything strange lately?” The Colonel insisted.

“If I had said the first thing that came to my head, we would be having another fight by now.” Ahmed thought to himself.

“Uncle, nothing strange has happened. Believe me, I would know. Other than a new resident moving in the next house beside us, and then the reconstruction of the drainage system, nothing has happened over the past 7 weeks.”

“You have a new neighbor? Since when?” The Colonel asked suddenly very interested.

“I don’t know. A couple of days back or so. I was coming home from work and a truck blocked half of my gate because it was trying to off load furniture into the new house. I asked for the owner of the house but whoever it was wasn’t available. I haven’t seen or heard anything since then.” Ahmed finished.

The Colonel’s brain was at super speed. He was thinking deep and trying to draw logical conclusions. Patterns formed in his subconscious. Ahmed watched his with keen interest as the Colonel drummed his fingers on the table.

“From the moment you heard the gunshot and the moment you got to the veranda, how much time do you figure had passed?” The Colonel asked.

“About two to three minutes. I even checked the streets. There was no sign of any one. It seemed like they just disappeared into thin air.” Ahmed said.


He was thinking in the same direction as the Colonel now. The escape was too quick and perfect. It must have been planned and properly rehearsed. His assailants had to be close. Perhaps, too close.

“There is only one way to find out. My guts tell me they are the occupants of that building. We will have to draw them out. This is what we will do. You are going to make a call with your old sim. Let us hope it is still being monitored. You will call Sheila. Tell her you were attacked. Your dogs were killed. You went out today and you noticed suspicious men trailing you. You shook them off. You know where their hideout is and you will need backup to take them out.” The Colonel said.

“How does draw them out sir?” Ahmed asked.

“These people have a zero tolerance for failure. The only reason they are called The Ghosts is because they do not exist. They leave no trails, no clues, and no souvenirs. The do not make mistakes. They are thorough and highly trained. The best part is, they do not respond well to threats. If they sense a threat, it is quickly neutralized.” The Colonel said.

“And my call to Sheila is a threat they will not be willing to let lie fallow, thus bringing them out and then we nab them?” Ahmed asked.

“Exactly, my boy!!! The phone call to Sheila is a threat. They will make a move after your call. Now this is the detective I know!” The Colonel answered happily.

“I will send a cryptic message to Sheila after you call her, telling her not to respond to your phone call. We are on a trip together and we just decided to play a fast one on her. We will laugh over it. I have already ‘photoshoped’ you into a picture I took during my visit to Massachusetts, USA. I will send it to her as proof to calm her.” The Colonel said.

“I still do not understand sir. When are we doing all this?” Ahmed asked.

“You will call her two hours from now. I will send the message immediately after. Any moment from then, we should expect company.” The colonel finished.

“How many agents are they likely to send?” Ahmed asked suddenly jittery.

“They are silent assassins. They do not draw attention. Maybe one or two. They would want to act quickly before Sheila’s fake backup arrives. Then, we’ll have them for dinner!” The Colonel finished and showed his spotless white teeth.

Ahmed did not have cause to smile. The very thought of the assassins coming to get him made him shudder with fear. The Colonel noticed this.

“Suck it up boy. I did not raise a coward! Be ready when I ask you to.” The Colonel scolded.

Ahmed could only nod.

*****************************************

Bruno was sleeping on the chair in the bungalow when Tawo called. He acknowledged Tawo’s orders and dropped his phone on the table after he hung up. He had underestimated the detective. His men had lost the detective for over an hour and saw him later when he approached the estate gate. Where he was and what he went to do was a mystery. Bruno did not like mysteries. He was still pondering how he was going to unravel the detective’s past hour off the radar when Tawo called telling him to ready himself for the kill. He woke Marshal and told him to get himself ready to take out the detective. Marshal grinned. He had not killed anyone in a while. He was really happy he finally had a chance to. When Tawo ordered for the trigger to be readied, it did not take long before the target was wiped out. The longest it ever took was 18 hours.

Bruno relaxed in his chair and noticed a red indicator on his transmitting device. Ahmed was making a call. He quickly plugged in the earphones and listened to Ahmed’s voice.

“…found out their hideout. It is beside my compound here. I cannot say for sure how many they are. Send backup just in case so we can move in tonight. 2 hours. Good. I’m ready. Bye.” He heard Ahmed finish and hang up.


How the heck did this happen? How did Ahmed know? Bruno was never one to throw blames. He now needed to act. And fast! He checked the time. 8:14pm. Marshal was fixing the silencer to his .45 automatic pistol. He called Tawo. It rang for a while and there was no response. He tried to call Shina. It was switched off.

This was his call. If he decided to wait, the whole operation would be blown. If he decided to flee, he would be ‘discharged’ by the Ghosts. He had only one option. He had to take out the detective.

He got his gun from a hostler strapped to his waist. He fastened a silencer to the gun and put the gun in his trouser by his waist and covered it with his shirt. He picked his phone and sent a text to Tawo.

“Operation at risk. New development. Moving to take out target.”

He waited for the message to deliver. He put off his phone.

Marshal was so happy. He would finally get to shoot and kill someone. He was ecstatic. He grinned at Bruno. Bruno’s mind was racing. This could be the end of them. It could as well be the best move he could take. But he could not afford to sit idly by or to flee. It was against The Code.

“It’s going to be a clean sweep. Get in, get out. No trace. No mistake. Copy?” Bruno asked.

Marshal nodded.

They packed their bags, wore their gloves and got out of the bungalow.

10 Likes

Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Parisfran(f): 8:05pm On Sep 19, 2013
hey!!! 1st to comment. Very lovely story you have hear. But in the name of God abeg finish it. Most of your other treads just dried up.

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Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Sexitee03(f): 8:07pm On Sep 19, 2013
Oh baby, hmmmmm. Some people will die..... And only I know who they are... angry shocked cry good job.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by MedKen: 8:21pm On Sep 19, 2013
Speechless.......
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Yettocome(m): 8:35pm On Sep 19, 2013
Boss. Once again, you are da bomb. I still learn from you. Welldone :d
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by JeffreyJamez(m): 8:50pm On Sep 19, 2013
Ahh!!!!! So na so Marshal and Bruno (abi na shina) take off!!!! Eiyah.......

Oga Kay........my belle dey ground....too much suspense!!!
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by rapmike(m): 8:52pm On Sep 19, 2013
This is War!!
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Nobody: 8:56pm On Sep 19, 2013
Great job Kay.. Amazing too..
One thing I respect about you.. You are humble enough to respond to positive criticisms, work out †ђε rough edges as suggested and come out better.. You rock, you know u do. You also take time to respond to your fans as respectfully as you can. You're so †ђε bestest! Big hugs..
See you tomorrow wink
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Kslib(m): 9:03pm On Sep 19, 2013
Kaye,you too much joor..
Tomorrow go be the bomb.. I cant wait oo.... cry cry
..
All izz well!
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by ugonnah(m): 10:18pm On Sep 19, 2013
Kaye,why!...why!!...why na!!...give us more!more,MORE!!...am addicted...lol.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by adisa204(m): 10:32pm On Sep 19, 2013
U re d'best bro keep it going.Well sha please now i read the update in less than 5minutes and have to wait till tomorrow to read another wonderful piece.But sha tank u for this piece
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Madawaki01(m): 7:06am On Sep 20, 2013
I'm enjoyin dis action film.,thumbs up kay
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by plainmirror(m): 8:43am On Sep 20, 2013
Bravo bravo !!
Very intruiging piece of write-up
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Shuq29(f): 10:06am On Sep 20, 2013
Nice one bro..................bt am afraid dat i will soon av heart attack o
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Teespice(f): 11:50am On Sep 20, 2013
One word: intriguing.

Nice piece of work you got. Thumbs up.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by Nobody: 8:00pm On Sep 20, 2013
Nice one again bro.
Re: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by kayemjay(m): 8:27pm On Sep 20, 2013
UPDATE DELETED

Visit www.amazingkevinjohn.

Thank you

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