Now, before you christ sheeple start getting worked up, my story has nothing to do with your god, Jesus Christ, the son of the living god who in his infinite mercy came and died for your sins so that you may be saved and spend eternity with him in paradise. No. Not him at all.

This story is of another man that claimed he was a doG. His real name was Yeshua but he asked his followers to call him Jizz-Us. He has many worshippers including my very alter ego self.
This thread is dedicated to him. He is foolish but we love him. You will learn a lot about him here.

Click "follow" and wait for updates.

..

following

We call him 'Yah-zeus' in my ministry.

aManFromMars: ..

someone should get me laser......must get this alien down before they invade us.

#musk?

FOLYKAZE:

someone should get me laser......must get this alien down before they invade us.

#musk?

Yeah. Lol.

To understand this foolish man, you have to understand where he came from. His mum. Her name is Mmeri. She was a local girl that peddled herself out to sex starved roman soldiers in order to make ends meet. One day, a hard working carpenter came and paid her bride price. But instead of closing her legs, decided to have a one last farewell romp with her roman lover, Gabriellus Maximus. And she became pregnant. That was how Jizz-Us was born. An illegitimate bastard of italian descent.

At first, they told him that Yosephus, the carpenter husband of her ashawo mum was his dad. He even went and worked with him at his workshop. Yosephus knew he was not his child and after a few years, could no longer stand the sight of a roman bastard in his house. He sent him away. The poor boy wandered around and out of hopelessness, joined a prayer group. His mum panicked and was searching for him, thinking he has been kidnapped. She later found him at the temple but fear of his step dad wouldn't let him follow his mum back to their house. He felt safer at the temple.

He started learning temple pastor babalawo tricks. And he was good. Many people came to listen to his stories.

At age 16, he realised that he was gay. That bothered him a lot as he knew he would be lynched if people found out. So he left his community and travelled to north india where he learnt magic tricks.

But he was in love with a childhood friend called Johnny. So at the age of 30, he came back to his country and started his ministry.

(TBC)

Waiting ....

This is very offensive. What do you strive to achieve with this?
Tomorrow now y'all will start crying mistreatment from the religious! Why should you ridicle someones belief in such manner? Whatever happened to construtive critism?

Indeed the problem of the Nigerian is his mindset not RELIGION. Never was religion always was MESSED UP MINDS

Stories belong in the literature section, since your narrating, I will move it to the appropriate section.

So long...btw the section is that way ------------»

*THE GREAT ALFA* *SERVANT TO THE DARK ONE* *LORD TO THE HELM OF THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS* I HAIL YOU..... BACK TO THE TOPIC, I KNEW JIZZ-US, BEFORE HE BECOME A PETTY CRIMINAL POOR JIZZ-US. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HumbledbYGrace: Stories belong in the literature section, since your narrating, I will move it to the appropriate section.

So long...btw the section is that way ------------»

I am talking about the god of many people. It is religion. Not literature.

Alfa Seltzer:

I am talking about the god of many people. It is religion. Not literature.

Doesn't matter who your talking about, it is a story, now shift and let me do my job

Remember we had an agreement that we shouldn't quote each other?

Why did u quote me?

HumbledbYGrace: Doesn't matter who your talking about, it is a story, now shift and let me do my job

Remember we had an agreement that we shouldn't quote each other?

Why did u quote me?

Then move the story about Satan by Ajibam to litterature section as well.

https://www.nairaland.com/1413128/why-devil-hates-how-response#17828988

HumbledbYGrace:
Remember we had an agreement that we shouldn't quote each other?

Why did u quote me?

Which agreement? How can you enter an agreement with an agent of Satan? Are you sure you are a christian?

Alfa Seltzer:

Then move the story about Satan by Ajibam to litterature section as well.

https://www.nairaland.com/1413128/why-devil-hates-how-response#17828988

that's not a story..can u define a story in ur understanding

Alfa Seltzer:

Which agreement? How can you enter an agreement with an agent of Satan? Are you sure you are a christian?

DONT MIND HER, INTOLERANT KWISTENS. MTCHEEEEW

Alfa Seltzer:

Which agreement? How can you enter an agreement with an agent of Satan? Are you sure you are a christian?

whicheva u like, I said u should stop quoting me

HumbledbYGrace: that's not a story..can u define a story in ur understanding

Read the bible. It's full of stories.

HumbledbYGrace: that's not a story..can u define a story in ur understanding

YOU HATE ALFA AND THE SATANIC MINISTRY, HOW DOES THE DISPROVE OF JIZZ-US LOOK LIKE A STORY. SMH

HumbledbYGrace: whicheva u like, I said u should stop quoting me

Until Seun makes a rule against quoting someone you are responding to, I am sorry I have to keep quoting you for clarity purposes.

Alfa Seltzer:

Read the bible. It's full of stories.

still your not defining a story, want me to lock this your thread Either I lock it or I move it to the lit section. Your choice

HumbledbYGrace: still your not defining a story, want me to lock this your thread Either I lock it or I move it to the lit section. Your choice

Here's another story:

https://www.nairaland.com/1422308/instruction-bible-jonah


If you start with my threads, you have to react to others as well.

satanist: HUMBLEDBYGRACE YOU ARE DERAILING AND THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES.

But my posts are related to the topic

SCORE BOARD ||ALFA-10 PTS||**||HUMBLEDBYGRACE-0||

HumbledbYGrace: still your not defining a story, want me to lock this your thread Either I lock it or I move it to the lit section. Your choice

You have to justify whatever action you take. Move or lock all other story threads here as well. Or tell me which rule my thread broke.

Alfa Seltzer:

Here's another story:

https://www.nairaland.com/1422308/instruction-bible-jonah


If you start with my threads, you have to react to others as well.

I wasn't a mod then

Alfa Seltzer:

You have to justify whatever action you take. Move or lock all other story threads here as well. Or tell me which rule my thread broke.

Rule#8. Don't post false information on Nairaland

HumbledbYGrace: I wasn't a mod then

So why should a thread insulting My Master be allowed here while mine that was talking about our own personal man-god should be banished?

HumbledbYGrace: Rule#8. Don't post false information on Nairaland

I didn't. Jizz-Us is our man-god and we are his followers.

HumbledbYGrace: Rule#8. Don't post false information on Nairaland

You might as well lock the religious section because if only 1 religion is true, then 99.9% of posts here fall foul of rule 8.