Picture this: He is about to erupt like a volcano. He’s been running around all day and he’s not yet had a chance to empty his swollen bladder. He finally makes it to the toilet and just barely manages to undo his jeans zip whilst stomping his feet like he’s been treading barefoot on hot coal. At this point his eyes are already firmly rolled to the back of his head as he positions himself to take aim into the toilet bowl below. He has already made up his mind to take a stand because in HIS mind he’s a sharp shooter. So he brandishes his ‘piss tool’, he aims, he shoots and to his surprise he misses… but the toilet seat gets it. This is a common phenomenon that has baffled women for centuries; not the fact that men miss but that they choose not to lift the toilet seat up. Now, I’m going to attempt approaching this sensitive topic as objectively as possible. There are 4 types of men that use the toilet:
a) The Lazy man:

This breed of man makes up close to 80 percent of the world’s population. They consist of those who are ready to take a piss just about anywhere in public. They urinate directly on the DO NOT URINATE HERE signs, at least in Nigeria. The toilet seat, in their eyes, is a 50 pound weight that requires brute strength in lifting. These amateur artists will turn any white canvas into a bed of yellow poker dots. And if you expect them to clean up after themselves then please revert to the type of man (in bold) being analyzed in point ‘a’.
b) The Proud man:

This type of man may not necessarily have anything to be proud of but certainly feels too big to bend over and touch a toilet seat, let alone lift it. He has more ‘important things’ to worry about. He thinks it’s someone else’s job to clean his mess up (it’s beneath him). He is often ready to criticize those that violate toilet seats and this makes him a Pharisee. He is usually the last person you would ever suspect of committing such atrocities. As far as he is concerned even his s*** doesn’t stink, but that’s another story so let’s stick with the subject.
c) The Inconsiderate man:

Commonly associated with men who are in relationships and are yet to be married. They seem to forget quite easily that there is another person living with them or who comes to visit them frequently. These men tend to be stuck in their ways and believe their partners should quit complaining and just adapt. If ‘she’ says to him ‘Lift before you pee’ then ‘his’ response would probably be ‘Wipe before you sit’. Men in this situation would agree that the toilet seat becomes one of the trivial issues that could ignite an argument, especially if some making up was in order the previous night.
d) The Gentleman:

All the ladies love this type of man. No matter how pressed he is he always manages to lift the toilet seat up and even remembers to put it back down for his lady. Some guys would say he’s soft, others say he’s a pushover. But women say he is a considerate, humble and diligent man. He is the pee-ing man’s role model. He aims and hits his target. He only makes up less than 20 percent of the world’s population and most of his type were raised by decent parents, have great toilet etiquette, and write crazy blogs and wear bow ties… just like me, the OP.
http://www.thecrazynigerian.com/2012/02/25/the-truth-about-men-and-toilet-seats/

Front Page Material.

Hahaha, I don spoil market for the FTC battalion... Chei, otula mgbeke tinz.

donigspain: Front page material.
Hahaha, I don spoil market for the FTC battalion... Chei, otula mgbeke tinz.

na everything dey make Fp Use ur head!!

Nice write up op,,,,bt na bush tins na e sure pass,,,and na e dey sweet pass

men's toilet /women's toilet.


urinals for men when mixed.

matter solved. case closed.

I've always wondered why people debate this issue. The answer is neither "up" or "down", the answer is "covered".

How can you leave the toilet bowl uncovered

My ex use 2 urinate everywher on d toilet seat, one day I was so angry nd I askd y he said it cz he always use 2 close his eyes while urinating.stil dnt undstnd uptil nw

zeb04: My ex use 2 urinate everywher on d toilet seat, one day I was so angry nd I askd y he said it cz he always use 2 close his eyes while urinating.stil dnt undstnd uptil nw

The feeling of relief we guys get from urinating especially those highly pressurized types is greater than ôrgasm. That explains while we close our eyes while urinating.

Lol oh I c bt u ve 2 make sure ur stuff is facin d rite place b4 u close ur eye. Tnks tho, been lost a long tym

Ok..
Call it wat u want

But are ladies born to be lazy?

Now, a gentleman is supposed to raise the seat, urinate and place it back for the lady

What exactly then is the lady supposed to do?

To just enter, pull down their pants and release the water works! Abi?

AbegiiIii!!!!! i dey vex sef!

Make we all work jur!!
No be gender equal whateva?

I hope most men get to read this!


In other news, I learnt a new word.


"PISS-TOOL"

some guys can pee anywhr; beside a parked car, in front of someone's house, in gutters(makin dem stink d more). The one dat is very annoying is a guy urinating in his own compound, chai! Wetin do ur house toilet

Nawa o.....cnt even read d post....seems itz nt legible enough......after takin 1 bottle of vodka and 3 wraps...£nd time dy wory me

@Op, shey na you be that 'Pa Ajirebi' wey dey use kerosene funnel pee for d first pix so?

Erm, maybe the females should be 'ladies' and lift the toilet sit up for men when they are done

U r rite! Some pple just piss on d roadside/gutter wit dia JOHN BULL... Am a gentle boy sha

Whats this one again na?!

Whats this one again na?!

I hate guys who do not lift the seat before peeing.

A very close friend of mine never lifts it for pee, but always remembrs to lift it for poo cos he doesnt like sitting on it, imagine! I had to summon caurage and tell him i dont like it in my house cos i have to wipe his pee every time.

For me, i always lift but for beer palour nd public toilets i use my shoe to lift the seat or else i aim the best i can.

@ op whr will u classify dos ladies dat peeeeEe's lyk men

naptu2: I've always wondered why people debate this issue. The answer is neither "up" or "down", the answer is "covered".

How can you leave the toilet bowl uncovered

If i walk in and see the toilet seat closed I usually turn around and consider my options cos that seems to be the coded sign that "something" has refused to go away! Who bothers to close a toilet seat? Didnt you just read that just the toilet seat weighs over a tonne how much more the whole cover!

soothing Relief!

wesley80:
If i walk in and see the toilet seat closed I usually turn around and consider my options cos that seems to be the coded sign that "something" has refused to go away! Who bothers to close a toilet seat? Didnt you just read that just the toilet seat weighs over a tonne how much more the whole cover!

Yuck!

A lot of guys have a non-challant attitude to observing protocols in the convenience room.so annoying.

call it whatever u like...men don't even like to Urinate in the toilet but at the wall

One more set...those dat dnt flush after usin..Crazy!

Wizee: na everything dey make Fp Use ur head!!

I guess na you suppose use your head now. E don reach FRONT PAGE.

This forum don tire me self.wetin concern u wit were man for dey piss nd poo
Abeg make una dey bring beta tinz cum front page
Anyhow i like i go position my blokus to piss weda na gentleman,proud man abi na lazy man