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Men And Toilet Etiquette - Family - Nairaland

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Men And Toilet Etiquette by donigspain(m): 10:31pm On Sep 14, 2013

Picture this: He is about to erupt like a volcano. He’s been running around all day and he’s not yet had a chance to empty his swollen bladder. He finally makes it to the toilet and just barely manages to undo his jeans zip whilst stomping his feet like he’s been treading barefoot on hot coal. At this point his eyes are already firmly rolled to the back of his head as he positions himself to take aim into the toilet bowl below. He has already made up his mind to take a stand because in HIS mind he’s a sharp shooter. So he brandishes his ‘piss tool’, he aims, he shoots and to his surprise he misses… but the toilet seat gets it. This is a common phenomenon that has baffled women for centuries; not the fact that men miss but that they choose not to lift the toilet seat up. Now, I’m going to attempt approaching this sensitive topic as objectively as possible. There are 4 types of men that use the toilet:
a) The Lazy man:

This breed of man makes up close to 80 percent of the world’s population. They consist of those who are ready to take a piss just about anywhere in public. They urinate directly on the DO NOT URINATE HERE signs, at least in Nigeria. The toilet seat, in their eyes, is a 50 pound weight that requires brute strength in lifting. These amateur artists will turn any white canvas into a bed of yellow poker dots. And if you expect them to clean up after themselves then please revert to the type of man (in bold) being analyzed in point ‘a’.
b) The Proud man:

This type of man may not necessarily have anything to be proud of but certainly feels too big to bend over and touch a toilet seat, let alone lift it. He has more ‘important things’ to worry about. He thinks it’s someone else’s job to clean his mess up (it’s beneath him). He is often ready to criticize those that violate toilet seats and this makes him a Pharisee. He is usually the last person you would ever suspect of committing such atrocities. As far as he is concerned even his s*** doesn’t stink, but that’s another story so let’s stick with the subject.
c) The Inconsiderate man:

Commonly associated with men who are in relationships and are yet to be married. They seem to forget quite easily that there is another person living with them or who comes to visit them frequently. These men tend to be stuck in their ways and believe their partners should quit complaining and just adapt. If ‘she’ says to him ‘Lift before you pee’ then ‘his’ response would probably be ‘Wipe before you sit’. Men in this situation would agree that the toilet seat becomes one of the trivial issues that could ignite an argument, especially if some making up was in order the previous night.
d) The Gentleman:

All the ladies love this type of man. No matter how pressed he is he always manages to lift the toilet seat up and even remembers to put it back down for his lady. Some guys would say he’s soft, others say he’s a pushover. But women say he is a considerate, humble and diligent man. He is the pee-ing man’s role model. He aims and hits his target. He only makes up less than 20 percent of the world’s population and most of his type were raised by decent parents, have great toilet etiquette, and write crazy blogs and wear bow ties… just like me, the OP.gringringrin
http://www.thecrazynigerian.com/2012/02/25/the-truth-about-men-and-toilet-seats/

5 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by donigspain(m): 10:37pm On Sep 14, 2013
Front Page Material.

Hahaha, I don spoil market for the FTC battalion... Chei, otula mgbeke tinz.gringrin

3 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Nobody: 10:47pm On Sep 14, 2013
donigspain: Front page material.
Hahaha, I don spoil market for the FTC battalion... Chei, otula mgbeke tinz.gringrin
na everything dey make Fp Use ur head!!

2 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by obami007(m): 11:59pm On Sep 14, 2013
Nice write up op,,,,bt na bush tins na e sure pass,,,and na e dey sweet pass

6 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by deols(f): 11:51am On Sep 15, 2013
men's toilet /women's toilet.


urinals for men when mixed.

matter solved. case closed.
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by naptu2: 12:03pm On Sep 15, 2013
I've always wondered why people debate this issue. The answer is neither "up" or "down", the answer is "covered".

How can you leave the toilet bowl uncovered

2 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by zeb04(f): 12:53pm On Sep 15, 2013
My ex use 2 urinate everywher on d toilet seat, one day I was so angry nd I askd y he said it cz he always use 2 close his eyes while urinating.stil dnt undstnd uptil nw

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by donigspain(m): 1:31pm On Sep 15, 2013
zeb04: My ex use 2 urinate everywher on d toilet seat, one day I was so angry nd I askd y he said it cz he always use 2 close his eyes while urinating.stil dnt undstnd uptil nw
The feeling of relief we guys get from urinating especially those highly pressurized types is greater than ôrgasm. That explains while we close our eyes while urinating.

10 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by zeb04(f): 2:04pm On Sep 15, 2013
Lol oh I c bt u ve 2 make sure ur stuff is facin d rite place b4 u close ur eye. Tnks tho, been lost a long tym

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by SLIDEwaxie(m): 10:23pm On Sep 15, 2013
Ok..
Call it wat u want undecided

But are ladies born to be lazy?

Now, a gentleman is supposed to raise the seat, urinate and place it back for the lady undecided

What exactly then is the lady supposed to do?

To just enter, pull down their pants and release the water works! Abi?

AbegiiIii!!!!! undecided i dey vex sef!

Make we all work jur!!
No be gender equal whateva? undecided

8 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by RoyalRoy(m): 6:04am On Sep 16, 2013
I hope most men get to read this!


In other news, I learnt a new word.


"PISS-TOOL"


grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Nobody: 2:59pm On Sep 16, 2013
some guys can pee anywhr; beside a parked car, in front of someone's house, in gutters(makin dem stink d more). The one dat is very annoying is a guy urinating in his own compound, chai! Wetin do ur house toilet
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by resdan(m): 3:01pm On Sep 16, 2013
Nawa o.....cnt even read d post....seems itz nt legible enough......after takin 1 bottle of vodka and 3 wraps...£nd time dy wory me
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by ghettodreamz(m): 3:01pm On Sep 16, 2013
@Op, shey na you be that 'Pa Ajirebi' wey dey use kerosene funnel pee for d first pix so? gringringrin

2 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by proudlysports: 3:02pm On Sep 16, 2013
Erm, maybe the females should be 'ladies' and lift the toilet sit up for men when they are done tongue

4 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Akposy(m): 3:02pm On Sep 16, 2013
U r rite! Some pple just piss on d roadside/gutter wit dia JOHN BULL... Am a gentle boy sha
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Okijajuju1(m): 3:08pm On Sep 16, 2013
Whats this one again na?! angry




2 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Okijajuju1(m): 3:08pm On Sep 16, 2013
Whats this one again na?!
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by HezronLorraine(m): 3:09pm On Sep 16, 2013
You all need to see my bathroom.Its Pristine,Clean and healthy
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by adanny01(m): 3:10pm On Sep 16, 2013
I hate guys who do not lift the seat before peeing.

A very close friend of mine never lifts it for pee, but always remembrs to lift it for poo cos he doesnt like sitting on it, imagine! I had to summon caurage and tell him i dont like it in my house cos i have to wipe his pee every time.

For me, i always lift but for beer palour nd public toilets i use my shoe to lift the seat or else i aim the best i can.

3 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by psychologist(m): 3:11pm On Sep 16, 2013
@ op whr will u classify dos ladies dat peeeeEe's lyk men

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by wesley80(m): 3:11pm On Sep 16, 2013
naptu2: I've always wondered why people debate this issue. The answer is neither "up" or "down", the answer is "covered".

How can you leave the toilet bowl uncovered

If i walk in and see the toilet seat closed I usually turn around and consider my options cos that seems to be the coded sign that "something" has refused to go away! Who bothers to close a toilet seat? Didnt you just read that just the toilet seat weighs over a tonne how much more the whole cover!

8 Likes

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by sagytariusTM1: 3:14pm On Sep 16, 2013
soothing Relief!
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by naptu2: 3:15pm On Sep 16, 2013
wesley80:
If i walk in and see the toilet seat closed I usually turn around and consider my options cos that seems to be the coded sign that "something" has refused to go away! Who bothers to close a toilet seat? Didnt you just read that just the toilet seat weighs over a tonne how much more the whole cover!

Yuck!
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by HezronLorraine(m): 3:16pm On Sep 16, 2013
A lot of guys have a non-challant attitude to observing protocols in the convenience room.so annoying.
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Okijajuju1(m): 3:16pm On Sep 16, 2013
wesley80:
If i walk in and see the toilet seat closed I usually turn around and consider my options cos that seems to be the coded sign that "something" has refused to go away! Who bothers to close a toilet seat? Didnt you just read that just the toilet seat weighs over a tonne how much more the whole cover!

Chop knuckle my guy!!

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by moscobabs(m): 3:21pm On Sep 16, 2013
call it whatever u like...men don't even like to Urinate in the toilet but at the wall

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by afechosen(m): 3:23pm On Sep 16, 2013
One more set...those dat dnt flush after usin..Crazy!
Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by donigspain(m): 3:25pm On Sep 16, 2013
Wizee: na everything dey make Fp Use ur head!!
I guess na you suppose use your head now. E don reach FRONT PAGE.grin

1 Like

Re: Men And Toilet Etiquette by Gifted4all(m): 3:26pm On Sep 16, 2013
This forum don tire me self.wetin concern u wit were man for dey piss nd poo
Abeg make una dey bring beta tinz cum front page
Anyhow i like i go position my blokus to piss weda na gentleman,proud man abi na lazy man

1 Like

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