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Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? - Family - Nairaland

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Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 5:43pm On Sep 18, 2013
Please I need an answer ASAP. My cousin is getting married soon, and this has been bothering her seriously. She happens to be Igbo, but with a mother from Kwara state(yoruba).

The children are very close to their mother who despite being married to an Igbo man, despises the Igbos(especially Umu village). Unfortunately, they(my cousins) were all born and brought up in the North, and they understand yoruba only, depise Igbos too, and have never being to the village.

Now my cousin is getting married(to a yoruba man) and wants her wedding(white and traditional) here in Abuja, but the dad insists that they must do the traditional marriage in the village or no traditional marriage at all.

I've asked friends around and they said it depends on the village, tradition and her position in the family(1st or 2nd daughter), and luckily for her, she happens to be the second(the 1st daughter who married a yoruba man too, also had same issue, but only did an introduction in form of Traditional marriage and a court marriage here in Abuja).

Although I'm an Ada, grew up in Abuja, but have no problem doing mine in the village if that be the case(maybe because I schooled in the East).


But Please I would like to know, is it COMPULSORY for an Igbo lady to do her traditional marriage in the village?

1 Like

Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by bellong: 5:48pm On Sep 18, 2013
I don't think the painted scenario is about being an Igbo but about what the father wants. The father of the bride has the final say in a union, he represents divine authority (My opinion). If he wants it in the village, so be it except you guys can persuade him to shift ground for you.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 5:55pm On Sep 18, 2013
But I've never seen an Igbo lady doing hers anywhere else other than the village, unlike other ladies(from other tribes) I know who did theirs at their family base(wherever it is). I heard that's how the Igbo's do theirs.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by psucc(m): 5:59pm On Sep 18, 2013
I will personally refuse any lad whose parents would want the canopy set in a strange land.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by kreamidiva(f): 6:04pm On Sep 18, 2013
I attended someone's trad wedding in Festac while she's from Arochukwu. Well,its compulsory according to ibo tradition to at least pay the dowry and other traditional things in the village.unless as bellong said,u can convince the father to shift ground for you.
Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 7:18pm On Sep 18, 2013
If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by blank(f): 7:36pm On Sep 18, 2013
I am Igbo and did my trad in my father's house in Abuja. I was the first of his kids to marry but that was no issue.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 8:19pm On Sep 18, 2013
yellowpawpaw: If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.

Biko, what is fake about Abuja marriage abeg? I got married in Abuja should I go and redo it in a village?

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 8:44pm On Sep 18, 2013
yellowpawpaw: If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.

Such a myopic view! Like seriously? What is wrong in one having her trad wedding in her father's base? Be it Abuja, USA or London. Does that have anything to do with the sustainability of that marriage? And yes! Some people hate their roots for some reasons best known to them. How does that make them bad husbands/wives? I know you are just ranting cos they mentioned Ibo.

OP, if your friend's father insists that the wedding must be in the Village, there is really nothing your friend can do. Let her just keep all her hatred for now, do her wedding and then go back to hating the villa again.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by jmoore(m): 9:10pm On Sep 18, 2013
She should obey her papa. Is she afraid of witches in the village? You only do the traditional wedding once.
Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 9:25pm On Sep 18, 2013
debrief08:

Biko, what is fake about Abuja marriage abeg? I got married in Abuja should I go and redo it in a village?
I did my marriage in Abj too.
I answered that way based on what I saw up there which I'm not ready to go into now. That post, there is a lot in it.
(Abuja marriage is a general term I use when underground work is not done properly b4 one ventures into marriage)

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 9:56pm On Sep 18, 2013
It's not compulsory ! My traditional marriage was done online sef! No time for kidnap victim. cheesy...

Wired the money for umunna and umunne dem...

Any umunna wey no like am, fvck off!

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Ngokafor(f): 10:23pm On Sep 18, 2013
I guess it's not compulsory for some,but it is for my family,so i'll definately have my Traditional marriage in the village.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by pickabeau1: 10:44pm On Sep 18, 2013
yellowpawpaw: If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.

U have a point

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Princesszoe: 11:05pm On Sep 18, 2013
There is nothing wrong in hosting a traditional wedding in ones father's house in the city. The depising thing is what baffles me even. How can someone from igbo come up to say that she hates igbos? The mother is from yoruba, married to igbo but hate igbos. I guess the woman cojeled her children into this hatred which is bad and their father may have insisted on going to village for the ceremony as a result of their hatred towards their tribe of which has been a big blow to him. If they are refusing to go to the village due to security purposes, let their father adapt but if is just for nonsensical reasons, they should be the one to adapt.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 11:11pm On Sep 18, 2013
Good for her. There's a better way to go about it without ranting about despising your roots. No wonder the man is insistent that they do it in the village.
I won't do mine in the village though.

1 Like

Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by vivianc(f): 12:45am On Sep 19, 2013
Ama m nke mga ekwu kita oputa okwu grin grin Most igbos wey dey do their trad for mba (outside) no get strong kinsmen relationship, or them no even dey in good terms with their kinsmen.

According to our culture, no be only the parents get the daughter.

So if you father no get umunna, it would be easier for you to do your trad na mba.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Stunner1(f): 1:35am On Sep 19, 2013
@vivianc u have spoken well nwannem

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Ngokafor(f): 8:07am On Sep 19, 2013
yellowpawpaw: If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.

I concur my sis...very silly girl angry

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 11:42am On Sep 19, 2013
Phiozy:

I believe the father of the bride caused all this wahala in the first place, by thinking that 'Ala bu otu' and not bothering to bring his children home to acclamatize. Now marriage bells have started and he is insisting on trad in the village.
God forbid it, if that man dies his chilrdren may consider burying him in the cemetery instead of bringing his corpse to the village.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 11:46am On Sep 19, 2013
Chillisauce: It's not compulsory ! My traditional marriage was done online sef! No time for kidnap victim. cheesy...

Wired the money for umunna and umunne dem...

Any umunna wey no like am, fvck off!
I was the one that liked your post. No wahala.
When burial time come, (am not wishing you evil ohh) make you waybill the corpse ohh.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 11:49am On Sep 19, 2013
yellowpawpaw: If I were the guy, I will back off. Love will not make me to marry a gal that hates her root. That's how we will give birth to children that will equaly hate mine eventually.
Mcheeew to Abuja marriage. So fake.
No mind them.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 11:52am On Sep 19, 2013
eagle,eye:

I was the one that liked your post. No wahala.
When burial time come, (am not wishing you evil ohh) make you waybill the corpse ohh.
Nwanne, will use DHL to email the darned corpse. Hahaha very funny

1 Like

Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 11:53am On Sep 19, 2013
stillwater:

I won't do mine in the village though.
Are you Igbo? If yes,
did your Father/mother commit 'Aru' in your village?
If No. Then wetin dey pursue you from villa?

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 11:57am On Sep 19, 2013
eagle,eye:

I was the one that liked your post. No wahala.
When burial time come, (am not wishing you evil ohh) make you waybill the corpse ohh.

My burial will be in my darling husbands place. Fresh flowers will be changed for me every week.

The flowers no dey die....Naija no go see my dead body sef, unless dey kidnap me, kill , bury.

Even that.....my darlllling husband and kids will send French troops to destroy any village wey hide my body...insurance wey cover me no be small.

Like I said, no time for umunna

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 12:01pm On Sep 19, 2013
Chillisauce:

My burial will be in my darling husbands place. Fresh flowers will be changed for me every week.

The flowers no dey die....Naija no go see my dead body sef, unless dey kidnap me, kill , bury.

Even that.....my darlllling husband and kids will send French troops to destroy any village wey hide my body...insurance wey cover me no be small.

Like I said, no time for umunna
I am not referring to you per se. But the people who are allowed you to rubbish their tradition...... your Father,brothers, uncles etc. The males in your family who collected bride price and drank wine claiming that their daughter has been married off.
Of course your place is with your husband.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Chrisbenogor(m): 12:05pm On Sep 19, 2013
The issue is above your "pay-grade" as a cousin, you have zero say in it. [
Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 12:08pm On Sep 19, 2013
eagle,eye:

I am not referring to you per se. But the people who are allowed you to rubbish their tradition...... your Father,brothers, uncles etc. The males in your family who collected bride price and drank wine claiming that their daughter has been married off.
Of course you place is with your husband.

Our tradition states I be with my husband. To love and cherish cheesy grin....

I can do the traditional any where I want. In my dictionary, safety first! Am very uncomfortable with security men with guns posing as a body guards for such occasion, the main thing is the church wedding.

Tradition ko, tradition ni....
As long as my present famile came for my wedding..I couldn't careless about fvck tradition. tongue
Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 12:14pm On Sep 19, 2013
Chilli Chilli you don kolo!

Even me wey be Yoruba still went to my grandfather's compound in the village to pay my respect for my trado. Lets not rubbish our heritage oh. Nigerian women change oooooo tongue grin

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 12:18pm On Sep 19, 2013
Chillisauce:

Our tradition states I be with my husband. To love and cherish cheesy grin....

I can do the traditional any where I want. In my dictionary, safety first! Am very uncomfortable with security men with guns posing as a body guards for such occasion, the main thing is the church wedding.

Tradition ko, tradition ni....
As long as my present famile came for my wedding..I couldn't careless about fvck tradition. tongue



[quote author=stillwater]


Are Igbo? If yes, which village allows traditional marriage in a foreign land?
Did your Father/mother commit 'Aru' in your village?
If No. Then what the fvck makes the male folks in your family accept bride price in a foreing land?
Is your husband Igbo?
If Yes, is he aware of customs and traditions of the Igbos?
Are sure that your family is not ousted from your villa? (am sorry if that sounds offensive)
*But forget civilisation and modernization, customs and traditions is still respected in Igbo Land. That you people did the absurd does not make it the way of the Igbo people.

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Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by eagleeye2: 12:19pm On Sep 19, 2013
jidegirl12: Chilli Chilli you don kolo!

Even me wey be Yoruba still went to my grandfather's compound in the village to pay my respect for my trado. Lets not rubbish our heritage oh. Nigerian women change oooooo tongue grin
Re: Traditional Marriage In The Village, Is It Compulsory? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 19, 2013
Igbos value their traditions as other tribes do. Umunna and umuada who happens to be your relations are supposed to be there. Is not about me and my immediate family and circle of friends, there is this close ties Igbos have with their relations that they keep on trying to reinforce irrespective of whereever they live. problem arises when you view people in the village as witches and city people as saints.
Personally, I will always acknowledge my far and distant relations cos they contributed in making me what I am today.
There is no law that says it is suppose to be in the village but let's not forget our roots.

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