speedyboi: I will be back tomorrow

prof800: @tony yayo
-It was good of you to have made those observations.
-I understand you quite well.
We are all learning to become better.
-But, Let's first take our mind off niaja producers and concentrate on international competitions and festivals.
---
So let's take it down bits by bits so that other people can also learn.
---
-:First any short has the potential of becoming a feature. And there are many box office movies out there that were originally conceived as shorts.
---
-:The screenplay above has no resemblance to a stageplay.
-:Also, what sholay has written is a spec script not a shooting script.
-:And you must have learnt from screenwriting101 that a spec script should never contain elements of the shooting script. Just so they can be differentiated.
---
-:The people who said "Show. Don't Tell" didn't mean it was all about writing 'we see' or 'SHOTS'.
-:Showing a story in a screenplay is all about THE CHOICE OF WORDS.
-What this means is that instead of writing "A Dirty Room" in your action line for example, you should write words like "an empty can of beer on the floor, scrumpled papers etc"; words that with give the reader a general picture of the scenery (A Dirty, unkempt room). This is what 'Showing' means. Whoever told you otherwise should be questioned.
---
-:When writing spec scripts, it is conventional to avoid adding elements of shooting scripts like Camera angles, Shots, Cuts or editing notes. The spec script is the one that is mostly submitted to festivals&competitions and it is sometimes called a 'virgin.'
-:If SHOTS are to be inserted in spec scripts, it has to be important and totally unavoidable. e.g; Shots like John's POV, C/U, INSERT, etc can sometimes be unavoidable. Also "DISSOLVE TO" can be used with subtlety to 'show' time transitions or time lapses. Like sholay could have used in "11mnths after". But a spec script cannot be axed for not using 'shots' in competitions/festivals. NEVER!
---
tony yayo, I've seen your work and I know you're very talented.
Don't worry we shall all get better.

spade: Hmmmm... Not bad, Sholay.

Megaflex: Nyc one Sholay

lanlokunomolara: guy,u ar too much... continue representin prof sholay

4C2215131: Classic Nollywood script. Nice effort though.

sholay2011: @SOM!!...I see you oh

"What should scare you isn't evil itself; but rather, the fact that the closest person to you may be capable of doing it"

sexytabhi: This quote summeried the whole story,so on point.

this touched me and I almost forgot that it wasn't real,getting all emotional for mary.

lynx200: Nice one Sholay. Just keep on practicing your writing craft and you will get better. The story is good though it could be better.

k10: I think the mother part is confusing could have been better for Mary and the mother not to be in good terms than not knowing she was her mother-in-law

Tayeni: thank you! Although I enjoyed reading it but I couldn't place a finger on what was wrong wt it until I read ur comment.......Mary not knwing madam Q was her mother unlaw is a hard sell......its not believable to me. They've lived in d same estate 4 atleast 4years and must hv had mutual friends or neighbors.......I'm not literary, I'm just a consumer yet I spotted that loophole.

ekwurekwu: I love this, though predictable. The ending was fanstatic! Kudos!

kayswag100: Nice one guy.

safe for a few grammatical errors I can't all point out, you are sound. Your use of English appears impressive.

... but don't you think putting your work here leaves it open to plagiarists? I have an experience with that sort of thing. ...

sholay2011:
I appreciate your feedback bro. Thanks.