Guys, they say you ain't got game. They say you too laidback. They say you boring. They say you too bleh! Maybe they right. Maybe they wrong. We'll see.

Ok. I'm a Nice Guy with history. I been in relationships. Walked away from all but one (that's not necessarily anything to brag about, just another fact). Done also played the Game a li'l. Been told that I'm a nice guy, a good guy, a guy whose wife will be a real lucky girl and other nice First Aid stuff like that. And I hate being told that I'm too nice.

Y'all have suffered either rejection or breakup or somethin just cause you sensitive to your ladies' needs and all. Y'all feel awkward, maybe, approaching classy chics or girls y'all really like. I get it. Approaching girls I want ain't never been no problem for me really, but I been rejected maybe twice in my life and dumped once. Impressive CV, huh. Shitt, they say, happens.

So let's figure this ish out, shall we?


What's wrong with Being Nice?
Absolutely Nothing. But they do say that nice guys are boring and predictable. And they may have a point. Any guy with clear-cut life goals and priorities would be a tad bit predictable. And life goals and priorities can be pretty boring stuff. And Nice Guys are responsible dudes - life goals and priorities are their thing.

What else is wrong with Being Nice? Again Absolutely Nothing. But they say that a Nice Guy cares too much about his woman. Now that don't sound right. I mean, who be measurin anyway? But we'll see, no?


What To Do
Spice up your life, guys. Pick up hobbies. Let down your hair once in a while. Get out and do stuff. Push yourself a bit. It's a freaking killer of an economy we live in but do budget in some outdoor recreation and try to surprise yourself.

And don't do it to impress the ladies. Just have fun, men. Do something that helps you understand yourself better and stretch your limits. If you can't afford it yet, just keep it in view. Ain't nothing wrong with dreaming long as you wake your azz up to go make it happen. Ain't nobody got more right or reason to have some fun than a hard-working Nice Guy.

Your career. By all means, make sure you're enjoying your work or working toward a career you can enjoy.

What's The Point?
Well, manhood = confidence. Like yourself. Value yourself. When you go after a lady, it shouldn't be hard to see that you're bringing something meaningful to the table. Money ain't meaningful. Nor is crime or dangerous habits. They may be thrilling, but nothing about the last two is nice and the first one can be dyed in any color. If you like yourself, you'll be just fine whether someone else likes you or not. It'd be nice to be liked but human beings are really fickle, especialy the female species, so wanting them to like you is a study in frustration.

Caring Too Much
There's such a thing, guys. Your woman ain't no piece of furniture. Don't suffocate her.

Call the woman you love as often as needed to take care of her but allow her space to give back some o' that love. She may wanna. Provide for her however you need to but let her be an adult too and look after herself. You her man not her father. Don't crowd her and watch over her shoulder all the freakin time.

In fact, you won't need to worry so much about the above if you got a life o' your own to keep you busy. Your woman is like a way to be 100% in two places at the same time. So let her be. But you're a nice guy so check in on her and look after your baby.


Wooing and Courtship
Just keep it real, men. You feel her, tell her you do. Maybe bad poetry works. Different strokes... What I do know is that I give what I got. She don't like it I pack it up. If you in love, that's hard, I know. But come on, life always finds a way to surprise the open-minded. You get shot down, grieve if you want to but move the hell on. Don't stick around and turn into a bloody nuisance.

Oh I know, a persistent guy is sooooooo sexy, right? Chics dig him something fierce. Seriously? How long you go'n persist? Three years? Thirty? You gotta move on sometime. And if you don't move on, you easily become annoying. Self-respect. Let it go. Put a lid on it. Focus on other stuff. Maybe Cupid'll happen by and try another shot (personally I don't stick around for this for the sake of my sanity). Maybe someone else will happen by (that's more my thing). Keep an open mind.

But when you love, don't hold back! A Nice Guy always gives the hundred. That's his trademark. You can't, you ain't one. Always give it. If it's rejected, move on.


Cheers, guys.

Nice thread!!!

Tinkybabe: Hmmmm!Deep words for the wise guys
OP,good one from you to the men!
This would make no sense to the boys cause they are still "chopping and cleaning mouth"

They said that that is what you girls like na: guys who "chop and clean mouth".

oi front page things

For the love if everything in me, i want a "nice" guy...

No one is perfect but i want to be that girl my "nice" guy wants...his fantasy, his dream, his reality, his hope, his woman...all for him and him alone, till eternity. So help me God.

By the way, why is this thread dedicated to "nice guys like...?" Is it a gay kinda relationship? I'm actually confused.

Caracta: For the love if everything in me, i want a "nice" guy...

No one is perfect but i want to be that girl my "nice" guy wants...his fantasy, his dream, his reality, his hope, his woman...all for him and him alone, till eternity. So help me God.

By the way, why is this thread dedicated to "nice guys like...?" Is it a gay kinda relationship. I'm actually confused.

NL is on a Nice Guy/Jerk wave currently

It'll blow over soon.

Give me an assshole anytime. I love taming asssholes

uj_sizzle:
NL is on a Nice Guy/Jerk wave currently

It'll blow over soon.

Oh i see... I guess something must have led to this then.

It's a high time we had a debate in this section of NL sef.

Caracta: For the love if everything in me, i want a "nice" guy...

No one is perfect but i want to be that girl my "nice" guy wants...his fantasy, his dream, his reality, his hope, his woman...all for him and him alone, till eternity. So help me God.

By the way, why is this thread dedicated to "nice guys like...?" Is it a gay kinda relationship? I'm actually confused.

Gay? Heavens no! They're just two hurting nice guys I found around these parts. They and others like them and the lucky women that will eventually land them are why I made this thread.

Ishilove: Give me an assshole anytime. I love taming asssholes

Na true! How many you don tame?

Ihedinobi:

Gay? Heavens no! They're just two hurting nice guys I found around these parts. They and others like them and the lucky women that will eventually land them are why I made this thread.

Awww. Cute. Being nice doesn't make a guy the best man for a woman. It depends on how you handle emotional things and finding your perfect puzzle piece. We all aint the same.

Many people get heart broken because they keep looking elsewhere out of their emotional territory and tolerance.

And please being nice is different from acting slow and weak. Some men think they are being nice, but they are just weak. That sucks sometimes.

Caracta:

Awww. Cute. Being nice doesn't make a guy the best man for a woman. It depends on how you handle emotional things and finding your perfect puzzle piece. We all aint the same.

Many people get heart broken because they keep looking elsewhere out of their emotional territory and tolerance.

And please being nice is different from acting slow and weak. Some men think they are being nice, but they are just weak. That sucks sometimes.

Right. Already explained that here: https://www.nairaland.com/1484638/nice-guys-versus-assholes-jerks.

Different Stroke for different women. Some like their guys nice, some like jerks. I think over time I am gradually meter-morphing from a nice guy into what I call a nice jerk.. Reason been that certain traits of a jerk is quite useful in a relationship. Merging it with my default Niceness, it can help keep things interesting and unpredictable. Enabling one to Stay in control, keeping her on her toes, Making her never see you as weakling or puppet that's predictable or boring.

By default we know most Ladies like to end up marrying the nice guy because of the sense of security he provides, but prefer to date the jerks because of the sense of adventure he give them. Been a nice jerk you get to bring the best of both worlds to the table

#Team Nice Guy with an attitude .

#Mathew briggs no Send you. , Yes you that curvy creature, with a lip I can't wait to kiss.

This actually go me laughing my butt out. But I will comment in depth when my battery is strong enough to bear the assault. Between I like your style of writing Ihedinobi.

@M.Briggs, long as it's about getting the babes for you, you got yourself a bigass problem.

Let the babes be and do what they will. Just learn to enjoy being you is all. Keep evolving, becoming a better you and all other things shall be added unto you.

Ihedinobi: @M.Briggs, long as it's about getting the babes for you, you got yourself a bigass problem.

Let the babes be and do what they will. Just learn to enjoy being you is all. Keep evolving, becoming a better you and all other things shall be added unto you.

Far from it. I think for me It's about getting the One babe that rocks my world and making the ride worth her while, Most importantly It's also about like you said "evolving to be a better me" .

Matthew briggs 3.0. Loading... 100% completed.

^^ You can't be a "nice jerk" with her. She won't appreciate being manipulated and controlled (forget the nonsense some silly girls will say about how they like a man who takes no nonsense - meaning they like a guy who slaps them around, that's bs worthy of capital punishment). And you can't be a nice guy when you find her (assuming that you even can with Nice Jerk's eyes) after you've built yourself into a Nice Jerk.

Love ain't about control, low-to-no risk and safety, bro. It's about putting yourself out there to give someone else a good life regardless what it costs you.

@Ihedinobi, what exactly are you driving at?
That nice guys are the best for every woman?
That every man should turn out nice?
That being nice equates to a successful marriage?
That all men are/should be the same?
That being nice is the greatest quality of a husband material?

I really don't get your point.

^^^ Mehn abeg help ask am oh
@Ihedinobie. Been too nice is soooo boring. Like I posted earlier jerks have traits that are quite enviable, good ones I might add. But most importantly, balance my friend is very important.

@Caracta
@M. Briggs

The thread I linked back here is still active (I'll soon post on it again). I've explained all that stuff there. Feel free to check it out.

If there is a woman in this world who thinks a jerk is what's good for her, I won't argue with her. But if she's my daughter or a relative, she'd best never come around to complain about her husband's "jerkness".

It's a really crazy world today if we think that even bad things aren't so bad just cos "we ain't all the same, some people actually like that stuff". Treating a woman like a yo-yo, a toy you can turn on and off at will is wrong and not good for any woman. But then who the hell would waste their time making a law against suicide? What's the point?

Matthew briggs: ^^^ Mehn abeg help ask am oh
@Ihedinobie. Been too nice is soooo boring . Like I posted earlier jerks have traits that are quite enviable , good ones I might add. But most importantly, balance my friend is very important.

Show me how nice = boring, can you?

Erm, I'm a nice guy, and nice=boring.

Honest truth.

Especially if ur the kinda guy that thinks 'cost' when ur girl just wants to go out and have fun.








So lil advice: learn to be 'fun'.. Once in a while....

Oh i see. You are one of those people that want to shove your views down our throat. The i-am-so-right-let-everybody-else-go-to-hell syndrome.

Now that you have it all figured out, why did you open a thread again? All the men out there can't be like you. We have a right to choose. Whatever rocks your boat.

Goodluck to you and all the people this thread is dedicated to. What y'all need to know and understand is that, being nice doesn't make you a good man, being real does.

*unfollows thread*

Caracta:

Oh i see... I guess something must have led to this then.

It's a high time we had a debate in this section of NL sef.

I already asked about the debate on the complaints thread, and so far our mods have deemed it fit to ignore it.

Interesting. By the way, it's "Danhumprey",not "Danhumphrey".


Sometimes,you find it difficult to understand that we are different and that we have separate lives. You find it difficult to understand that our online attitude and behaviour is different from our offline(real life) behaviour.


I'm really not that nice in real life. The incident that spark off that my thread was because I was impatient. I didn't took time to get to know her well before toasting her,and when she rejected me,I thought she was being heartless,not knowing I was at fault.

aManFromMars: Erm, I'm a nice guy, and nice=boring.

Honest truth.

Especially if ur the kinda guy that thinks 'cost' when ur girl just wants to go out and have fun.



So lil advice: learn to be 'fun'.. Once in a while....

Actually, I find you attractive and you are far from boring........







You, as in your posts

Wu Zetian:

Actually, I find you attractive and you are far from boring........







You, as in your posts

Thanks.

ihedinobi is a Nice Jerk. He just doesn't realise it yet.

Matthew briggs: Different Stroke for different women. Some like their guys nice, some like jerks. I think over time I am gradually meter-morphing from a nice guy into what I call a nice jerk.. Reason been that certain traits of a jerk is quite useful in a relationship. Merging it with my default Niceness, it can help keep things interesting and unpredictable. Enabling one to Stay in control, keeping her on her toes, Making her never see you as weakling or puppet that's predictable or boring.

By default we know most Ladies like to end up marrying the nice guy because of the sense of security he provides, but prefer to date the jerks because of the sense of adventure he give them. Been a nice jerk you get to bring the best of both worlds to the table

What are these qualities and how are they combined.

WackyJ1: ihedinobi is a Nice Jerk. He just doesn't realise it yet.


What are these qualities and how are they combined.

Drive her to church. Leave before her.

If I have to be a jerk,a player, just to date(not marry) a gal,then I rather remain single. I just don't think I'm ready to date. I have my priorities. I was probably just playing around.