@chilli

I dont see any need to lie..

na wa ...trouble finder

Ok o

pickabeau1: i dont understand the focus on the birthdays part but some people dont believe in celebrating it..

The woman may have made a sacrifice for her family as many did..

Now to show his appreciation to his wife, he is making it up..

I dont see why you have to snicker at the gesture from the man

na wa

sacrifice for two trips abroad? Are you kidding me Well it's the life she chose.

Chillisauce:

If you like try your luck, and you may leave the house toothless .

Don't go practicing some things you read in nairaland.

Your own drug may never work.....

i can't drug a person.

ireneidiva:
sacrifice for two trips abroad? Are you kidding me Well it's the life she chose.

Keep the statement in context
Sacrifice for raising her family......

Modesayo: My mom was a staff of Total plc but as a lady in her 20's,I av learnt a lot from her as a person,a mother&a wife..this is a woman that was earning cool money from her oil company job&she had time spending most of d money on us(children)just to make sure we were okay..When the war came,that family members had to settle,she gave up&resigned but she ventured into something else dat was at least paying..even at dat age,we(children)talked to her just for her to stay&dont let d family be torn apart...&am happy she did..Today she has gone abroad twice,all expenses paid by my daddy,celebrated her 50th birthday in an elaborate way that no one could ever imagine&dis is a man(daddy)that never allowed our mom to celebrate ANY birthday.....Marriage has a lot of sacrifices interwined in it.ts love,hurt,care,cries,sacrifices...d only issue IS IT REALLY WORTH IT FOR all the efforts you have put into it....only d woman can answer that?

@pickabeau,:Nobody is saying sacrifices are wrong. But the impression we all got is that she was forced to do them in order to save her marriage, she didn't do it willingly. If she decided to compromise, that would av been a different thing. She was forced. she only stayed cus in the marriage cus of the pleas of her children.

I'd say that woman deserves a medal. Not everybody can give up their happiness for life.

Gold45:

@pickabeau,:Nobody is saying sacrifices are wrong. But the impression we all got is that she was forced to do them in order to save her marriage, she didn't do it willingly. If she decided to compromise, that would av been a different thing. She was forced. she only stayed cus in the marriage cus of the pleas of her children.

I'd say that woman deserves a medal. Not everybody can give up their happiness for life.

As you have rightly noted, you made reference to an impression - mindset

All i saw from the post is a woman who made huge career and possibly financial sacrifices though venturing into a business which may o may not have been lucrative to be available to raise her family
The husband threw a large celebration for her and allowed some trips and suddenly the ladies of NL express contempt

You dont know more than that and neither do I but I was irked by the contempt being expressed.. dazall

The most important people in the woman's life appreciate her sacrifice - why are you people angry over her decisions


@i still gbadun your actions to deal with that abusive lout

pickabeau1:

As you have rightly noted, you made reference to an impression - mindset

All i saw from the post is a woman who made huge career and possibly financial sacrifices though venturing into a business which may o may not have been lucrative to be available to raise her family
The husband threw a large celebration for her and allowed some trips and suddenly the ladies of NL express contempt

You dont know more than that and neither do I but I was irked by the contempt being expressed.. dazall

The most important people in the woman's life appreciate her sacrifice - why are you people angry over her decisions


@i still gbadun your actions to deal with that abusive lout

Pickabeau1,

Stop playing the devil's advocate

We all judge posts based on the tone and what we read.

I did not want to do want Gold45 did but I figured that if the kids are old enough to tell their mother is stay for her marriage then they are old enough to be in Secondary School/ take care of themselves

Please, let's call a spade a spade

@bukatyne...

ok ... u guys should also calm down when u hear women make sacrifices for their families especially when it is by mutual consent
If it is forced, by all means carry your placard

pickabeau1: @bukatyne...

ok ... u guys should also calm down when u hear women make sacrifices for their families especially when it is by mutual consent
If it is forced, by all means carry your placard

Biko, what placard am I carrying?

All we are saying is for the wives to be and upcoming ladies

What do you want to tell a woman of over 50? According to the story, the man doesn't physically abuse so what is the deal?

I just like us to call a spade a spade and stop giving the opinion that women are bound to suffer in marriages; it scares the upcoming ones.

A male poster opened a thread on his wife's non-chalant attitude to their marriage and his feelings and we all gave good advice. I am 100% sure that if it was a female poster, 90% of the advice will be 'pray and fast,' 'love him more', 'be more submissive', 'beg him', 'you don't know what marriage means' etc.

Let us be sincere, that's all I ask

BB, I saw ur post on ur trip to Dubai.
I no c the pikshure.
Where e dey naw?

hmm.. and pray tell what was the good advise.. divorce?

you dont know the placard?..

Good you know the woman is over 50 and has made her choices. Does not mean her choices are still not relevant

Women should not suffer or endure marriages,,, it is after all a partnership where strenths are made better and weaknesses worked upon
How can 2 walk together except they be agreed

Sincerity has never been lacking rather its the seeming one-size-fits-all advice from certain posters that is worrying

All cases are different

ish

pickabeau1: hmm.. and pray tell what was the good advise.. divorce?

you dont know the placard?..

Good you know the woman is over 50 and has made her choices. Does not mean her choices are still not relevant

Women should not suffer or endure marriages,,, it is after all a partnership where strenths are made better and weaknesses worked upon
How can 2 walk together except they be agreed

Sincerity has never been lacking rather its the seeming one-size-fits-all advice from certain posters that is worrying

All cases are different

ish

Who mentioned divorce on this thread or to this woman in particular?

bukatyne:

Who mentioned divorce on this thread or to this woman in particular?

i was asking for the good advice you spoke about

The D word seems to be a panacea around these parts hehehe

@OP, I completely agree with you, except the bold part below



I'm not sure submission is the right word to use in the context above.



Submission according to the English dictionary means;
sub·mis·sion - /səbˈmiSHən/
Noun:
1. The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a
superior force or to the will or authority of another
person
2. An act of surrendering to a hold by one's opponent

The bible (permit me to quote it) also states;
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.

When it comes to our relationship with GOD, we submit to HIM, yet we still have a say.
Matthew 7:7 - Ask, and it shall be given you;...
Proverbs 10:24 -...but the desire of the righteous shall be granted.

Our total submission to GOD can never harm us rather by HIM, we are replenished!
1 Timothy 4:8 ...but godliness is profitable unto all things...
By relativity, this is applicable to the marriage institution.

This brings me to Heitler's solution of communication. If we want GOD to do something for us, we communicate to HIM through prayer & get answers. So can you get something from your husband without proper communicate? Communication is about the only way to get what we need.



Note that there is also a wrong way to communicate with GOD and by relativity a wrong way to communicate with one's husband.
James 4:3 - Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume [it] upon your lusts.

thanks for this wonderful illustration, especially in the biblical aspect. I've not been able to understand fully the bible's aspect of submission. I do believe in submitting to the husband as the head, but I find it confusing when some men expect their wives to become a full housewife simply because they can afford it, without actually considering the fact that the wife would like to practice what she learnt at school, and apart from the money, there is always this joy of self-worthiness and accomplishment when you add value to the society through what you do.