If you read my diaries and you have any advise or comments, please leave it here.
The diary is https://www.nairaland.com/1505750/lost-love
Thanks.

11 Views. No comment?

Really deep things you wrote there. Would take my time to read and comment more later. But me thinks you shouldn't let yourself dwell so much on the past.

Reading your diary, I experienced several emotions, pain, anger, sorrow and pity. From your diary I presume you're a writer in "the real world" I hope this is not some fictional tale because it cut deep to me.

I am mad and angry with you...
I feel so mad with you for not just denying yourself happiness, due to pride but thinking that sharing it on a diary will help ease the pain.

I feel so mad with you for putting a young man through the torture of falling in love with you and leaving him in the rain, because of pride, ignorance and indecisive ness even when you feel something for him.

I feel so mad with you for losing such a man that many ladies would kill for.

I feel so mad with you because, I have once been in the shoes of your dearest love... and know how it feels for a lady to toy with my emotions, taking my love for granted due to her love for drama and indeciveness. Moreover the sad thing is when people like us move on, it will take zeus to turn back our gaze.

Meaning there are two things envolved. Its either you keep whining and feeling all mushy on your diary or man up and try to fix this. If you choose to do the later you would really need to pull a stunt that will convince him beyond reasonable doubt you love him, forget culture this time because you'll need to do most of the wooing. If not kaput off he goes and trust me he would have a blissfilled life without you in the equation.

Finally...I pray that this your drama ends well.
#Mathew briggs the fire wishes you peace.

Matthew Briggs,
At 3.17am?
I appreciate you bro. You have the right to be mad at me. I thought it was a fictional story too. At that hour, hope you said a word of prayer for me. I pray that "Zeus turns back his gaze" to me. What stunts are you talking about? Talk of being naive.
I pray it ends well too.

Hope you won't stop reading. See you on the other side.

Yeah at 3:17 am. I usually work late into the night when faced with a bunch of projects with very tight deadlines.

In a bid to cool off on the Internet for a while, I stumbled on your diary.

Your issue doesn't need prayers, it needs action.

By stunts I mean you might have to do those things he did trying to woo you initially. It's time you return the favour.

No promises for now but i pray that your stroy have a happy ending.

@dearest, i'm partially in support of what BRIGSS said, it is painful and very much disheartening to push away someone that love you or you refusing to reciprocating his love, go through Briggs's diary and read for yourself how it felt like from the man point of view.

personally, almost all what is written in Mathew's diary un reciprocated love is what I have pass through in still in the process of overcoming, I just felt he was writing about me.

coming back to you situation, you have to

Firstly define what you want.
Secondly, is the young man still free?

Thirdly, do you think he still have a thing for you?

if the above are answered correctly, then you will no the next steps. but most importantly you have to define what you want.

Thanks.

I have nothing else to add aside what has been said.
If he is still single, WOman up and tell him what you feel for him. There is no harn in trying sweets.
I wish you goodluck.

I think one of the best birthday gifts you can give him is a link to your diary. To make it romantic and impactful, print it out and wrap it as a gift. If you pull this stunt, it will definetly leave a mark.

"At least, even if I lost my chances, I want to leave you with a sweet memory of returned love."
A line from the last entry in your diary that summarise my above suggestion.
If it works glory be to God, if it doesn't at least you tried. This stunt will give you and him closure.


It's so sad he's moved on so much, to the extent of having a fiancee, the painful truth might be he's so happy with her. Moreover my prayer for him is that he gets to settle with the person ordained by God for him, be it you or her.

Hey dearie, went through your diary and I must say it's touching.

However, life is too short to keep regretting your actions. From your diary, I could deduce dt d guy now has another woman in his life. To me, i'll say you've lost him already but since some pple think you might still have a chance, well, maybe! I'm trying to see things from the perspective of the other lady and it's nothing else but wickedness to her. You lost your chance with him and even if you win his heart back now, what is he supposed to tell his fiance? Just for one second, i want you to put yourself in the babe's shoes and see things from her perspective. However, there's a tiny-winy chance dt he's nt even happy with the other babe, anywayz and still available. So, instead of all these epistles you're writing up and down and the stress you're putting yourself through, just tell him in a sentence that you're sorry for all you did and if der's still a chance for you in his heart, you'll like a second chance. If he's still available and has an iota of maturity, he'll let you know. If he is available, grab him nd don't ever mess up again.


If he's nt available, TIME TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! Don't stress yourself unnecesarily about it again! You need to forgive yourself and move on! One of the ways by which I deal with mistakes in my life is by reflecting on my INTENT! I've done things in my life that i'm not proud of (actions), but i've never done anything to anyone out of bad intents! Might not be the best of actions but i did it cos that was how best I thought I could act at the moment! And that's the point! You made a mistake, agreed! but you did it cos dt was what you thought you should do at the moment. I'm sure your intentions was not to hurt him, you were only tryna protect yourself! Now, tell me when that became a crime! You were scared, probably a lil less matured than you are now and you did what you thought was best for you. Stop beating yourself up over that! Let him move on with his life and move on with yours too. FORGIVE YOURSELF, that's the most important thing. When he gets a lil more matured (if he isn't yet), he'll find a way to forgive you too. There're enough wonderful guys out der than to kill urself on top one dt is gone already! Stop crying and blaming urself, enough is enough!


If he tries to play silly games with you, decide on what you want-if u know u can take crap from him (as a way of punishing urself for what u did)-FINE! If ur ego is a lil on d big side nd u can't over-deflate it (talking to him at all is enough deflation), refer to the paragraph before this one.

alutacontinua: just tell him in a sentence that you're sorry for all you did and if der's still a chance for you in his heart, you'll like a second chance. If he's still available and has an iota of maturity, he'll let you know. If he is available, grab him nd don't ever mess up again.

Very well balanced reply @Aluta. Moreover on a side note @bolded A sentence that says "you are sorry and all..." may not cut it. Maybe I am speaking from my perspective, if I was him.

Actions I believe they say speaks louder than words. A wound as deep as 6 years and a fiancee in the equation... would take more than a sentence to heal... I think one key lesson among many, you should take home from this your experience is NEVER LET EGO GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS.

alutacontinua: To me, i'll say you've lost him already but since some pple think you might still have a chance, well, maybe! I'm trying to see things from the perspective of the other lady and it's nothing else but wickedness to her

Secondly I think you'll be doing the lady a favour (his fiancee). Their is nothing so sad and wicked than getting married to man who is still in love with another woman. I therefore say bleep her, your actions if taken are in her best interest. You both deserve to get closure.

Most importantly... learn from this experience... Try to win him back if you can but never forget to Move on if it is necessary.

As per he and his fiancee, note where I said there's a chance he's happy with the oda babe. Which wld mean he has cut his losses with this babe and moved on! Heck, der's no point messing up with their relationship, IMO!


If however, der's a chance dt he's nt happy in his present relationship, then, op might have a chance!


About making it to be more than a sentence, i didn't mean literally one sentence with a full-stop. I just meant she shldn't over-sweat it, even when it's obvious the guy is just catching fun and toiling with her emotions! Hence, my last paragraph!

^^^ True talk. Thanks for throwing more light.

Thanks guys. Dearestsewa didn't plan to write ds wkend bt nw..? Well, see you on the other side. Thanks so much.

Hi Sewa.

Um, don't know what to say about your diary. Really I don't even though I know I'll say something.

I think, first of all, that emotional confusion is a terrible thing for anybody, not least for a man. The reason I fight so hard for any relationship I'm in is because I never want to look back. That wouldn't be fair to any new person I might be with. I have always gone into my relationships with my eyes closed to every alternative including the past. It's saner that way.

When I began reading your diary I was almost convinced it was my ex writing but then little things showed that it couldn't be her. But, mehn, I don't envy your ex right now. If he ever saw that diary, I'd hate to be in his head then.

I think I've finally got something to say. They're two pieces of advice:

1. You seem to be very much into Christianity. Well, these are some things to learn from Christ regarding this issue:
- "they may marry whomever they will but he must be an Israelite". That means that your destiny is not going to be destroyed if you marry somebody other than your ex so long as you do marry a believer.
- "forgetting the things which are behind, I press on". The past sometimes is the safest place to be - it's the place you know, you understand the past. But the Lord will not have it. He says, "you have dwelt in this mountain too long." You must be brave and take on the new dawn.
- "the sufferings of this present time are nothing to compare with the glories that shall be revealed in us." The future is a far more beautiful place to people of faith. If you'll let go where you've been and walk with Father today, you'll come to the City not made with hands.

2. There's another woman in the picture right now. What are you doing to her that you would like done to you? As long as "Evol" knows he has an open door to escape through, how hard will he fight for her? If he's with someone else, he's trying to make new memories. New memories are meant to cover over old ones. He's chosen to go. You should let him.

You made mistakes. Live with it. Allow yourself to heal. Grieve, sis. Let the coffin down back into the ground. Cry and tear your hair if need be, but let it go. Don't complicate your life unnecessarily. This should be your learning period. Pull all the lessons you can out of what was and put them all into what is to get what God has prepared in tomorrow.

CAVEAT: I know that I haven't given easy advice. My ex and I broke up so many times that it seemed to be our peculiar way of keeping a relationship so I know all about the familiarity and longing that keeps pulling you back to the one you've loved. But the time comes when it is make-or-break. After that choice has been made, you either dig in or you let go. Or else, you ruin each other's life.

I'm really sorry, dear. But if it's gonna be you and Evol, it won't be now and it'll probably require starting again from scratch. That means that you'll first lose everything you're feeling today and forget him and him you before meeting again. As it is right now, it's way too messy. At least, I think so.

Sewa dear, letting go won't be a walk in the park. You'll want to hold on harder than you know you can. Here's wishing you God's Grace to aid you.

Shalom, sis.

Dearestsewa,

I see your diary as a way of closure. Its a good thing you got it off your chest, unadulterated. It takes a lot of gut and courage to pen all that down.

The best thing at this point in time is to let go and place all you feel in the hands of the almighty. If evol, is truly yours and the both of you are meant to be, it will def happen, no matter how long it takes. If not, someone better will come along, for the good book says that my plans for you are good and not evil.

Cheers and I wish you all the best.

#hugs.

Sewa! I am happy for you, i am happy that the curtain has been drawn, the closure is in effect, i thank God for giving you the strength to take a decision, my prayers is that this decision will never come back to hurt you , never, instead it shall lead you to a wonderful future beyond your dreams.

However, just a friendly advice, this is not the right time to rush into and relationship of close your heart to relationship(i guess you understand my point) it is the right time for you to evaluate yourself, define what you want and want to achieve in both the short and long run, i see God helping you out.

Remember if you are ready to go into another relationship, you must not allow the thought and spirit of comparism, yes, you must not comparism anyone you chose to go out with to the former, if such happen, the new relationship will be dead on arrival.
Dear, i wish you well , and i also wish you well in the apptitude test you will be attending on friday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hi Sewa

Happy birthday o.

Here's your present: that diary wasn't folly at all. I know you might feel embarrassed when you consider what you were trying to achieve, but trying to walk and stumbling and wobbling while at it is not folly to any child. It's just part of growing up, you know, the learning process.

You'll need lots of strength now. You should probably meet new people and get out more. In other words, reconfigure your mental and emotional space to comprise less of him.

Take care, dear.

Thanks bros. Time to do new stuffs. Ok. Two on hand. A new blog on learning languages and a new thread on same. Plus a free jewellry training I've been hoping to hold. Thanks bros. Dearestsewa appreciates your advice.

Shalom sis

My dear, going through your diary, its more like you have been going through my mind and joting down the things you see, we went or lemme say we are going through the same ordeal, infact just slight difference, whenever I go through your diary, I see myself. I miss more than anything in the world, I stalk him on social networks too, everything is the same with you. I am just to proud to pick up the phone to call him, I really hope time heals this pain because that's what everybody z saying.

Everytime my phone rings, I jump to see if he is the caller, I just couldn't help but wonder why he didn't fight back for our relationship, I might have been stupid enough to break up my relationship of four years and frdship of many years, but he could have fought back, given me time to reflect on my mistake and then come back, why didn't he do that, yes! I know he has done that many times when I stupidly broke up with him for one stupid reason or the other, he always came back for me! I think he has had enough but I wish he would just come back one more time, just one more time!

Ashley2389: Everytime my phone rings, I jump to see if he is the caller, I just couldn't help but wonder why he didn't fight back for our relationship, I might have been stupid enough to break up my relationship of four years and frdship of many years, but he could have fought back, given me time to reflect on my mistake and then come back, why didn't he do that, yes! I know he has done that many times when I stupidly broke up with him for one stupid reason or the other, he always came back for me! I think he has had enough but I wish he would just come back one more time, just one more time!

This situation described my state of mind when I broke up with my boyfie. I wondered why he couldn't fight for us; for my stupidity and naivety

Ashley2389: Everytime my phone rings, I jump to see if he is the caller, I just couldn't help but wonder why he didn't fight back for our relationship, I might have been stupid enough to break up my relationship of four years and frdship of many years, but he could have fought back, given me time to reflect on my mistake and then come back, why didn't he do that, yes! I know he has done that many times when I stupidly broke up with him for one stupid reason or the other, he always came back for me! I think he has had enough but I wish he would just come back one more time, just one more time!

Pick up the damn phone and call him. Chai!!! Why are my sisters lyk dis sef? When u mess up (lyk u just admitted), you clean it. Cleaning it in this situation entails picking up the phone and telling him how sorry you are and how much you miss him, if he's still available and willing, you'll park well this time around. I keep telling ladies to stop frustrating guys and wait for them to come and apologize. It's all a matter of treating people the way you want to be treated. Pit yourself in his shoes for one second and imagine how u would feel. Call him, he's fought enough for you and doesn't av the strength to do it again, as a matter of fact, he has given up! Now, be the strong one-fight for him! Picking up a fone and apologizing to the man you love is not a sign of weakness, it's that of strength! We all make mistakes but trust me, you really wanna make this right!




If u eventually get to talk to him and der's no hope for u guys again (u av yo be sensitive enough to notice that), time to move on! But you rily don't wanna go thru lyf thinking you didn't try!



GOODLUCK!

@Ashley and @Sapphiredamsel

Una well done o! There are guys who think women are the spawn of the devil cos of that kind of stuff you pulled. Thank God for other women's sake that other guys who went through that kind of stuff refused to see all women in that light.

A man will walk away if you take him for granted. Just keep that in mind. I agree with alutacontinua. Call him o if you want him back. He's not your puppy that will roll on the floor and sit and beg whenever you say so. If you don't treat men like men, you'll end up without a man.

@Alu5

alutacontinua:

Pick up the damn phone and call him. Chai!!! Why are my sisters lyk dis sef? When u mess up (lyk u just admitted), you clean it. Cleaning it in this situation entails picking up the phone and telling him how sorry you are and how much you miss him, if he's still available and willing, you'll park well this time around. I keep telling ladies to stop frustrating guys and wait for them to come and apologize. It's all a matter of treating people the way you want to be treated. Pit yourself in his shoes for one second and imagine how u would feel. Call him, he's fought enough for you and doesn't av the strength to do it again, as a matter of fact, he has given up! Now, be the strong one-fight for him! Picking up a fone and apologizing to the man you love is not a sign of weakness, it's that of strength! We all make mistakes but trust me, you really wanna make this right!




If u eventually get to talk to him and der's no hope for u guys again (u av yo be sensitive enough to notice that), time to move on! But you rily don't wanna go thru lyf thinking you didn't try!



GOODLUCK!

This is a WOMAN talking.

alutacontinua:

Pick up the damn phone and call him. Chai!!! Why are my sisters lyk dis sef? When u mess up (lyk u just admitted), you clean it. Cleaning it in this situation entails picking up the phone and telling him how sorry you are and how much you miss him, if he's still available and willing, you'll park well this time around. I keep telling ladies to stop frustrating guys and wait for them to come and apologize. It's all a matter of treating people the way you want to be treated. Pit yourself in his shoes for one second and imagine how u would feel. Call him, he's fought enough for you and doesn't av the strength to do it again, as a matter of fact, he has given up! Now, be the strong one-fight for him! Picking up a fone and apologizing to the man you love is not a sign of weakness, it's that of strength! We all make mistakes but trust me, you really wanna make this right!




If u eventually get to talk to him and der's no hope for u guys again (u av yo be sensitive enough to notice that), time to move on! But you rily don't wanna go thru lyf thinking you didn't try!



GOODLUCK!

Alutacontinua, God de bless you wella o!

Na small pikin de worry ya sista dem.

Ihedinobi:
Alutacontinua, God de bless you wella o!

Na small pikin de worry ya sista dem.

I understand you well, but the problem I have is my ego, besides I think if I should call him and apologise, he ll think I am weak, he ll believe he can do anything, and I ll go nowhere, he ll take me for granted. I also won't be able to stand it, if he should say no to my apology, if he loves me as much as he claimed, how come he was able to do without me for a whole month! I think its over for real, it looks like a dream sometimes, I bleeped up again and this time I left a permanent scar

Ashley2389: I understand you well, but the problem I have is my ego, besides I think if I should call him and apologise, he ll think I am weak, he ll believe he can do anything, and I ll go nowhere, he ll take me for granted . I also won't be able to stand it, if he should say no to my apology, if he loves me as much as he claimed, how come he was able to do without me for a whole month! I think its over for real, it looks like a dream sometimes, I bleeped up again and this time I left a permanent scar

I have learnt, that one way to live a fulfilling life is letting go off one's fears, never letting them define you. Never let what people think of you affect how you feel about yourself... Contrary to what you think the word "am sorry" is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Infact people respect me because of this trait... I say sorry not because I want the other person to feel good or pity me. but because it gives me peace and closure. It reminds me of the fact that am human, and prone to making mistakes.

Moreover the hard truth is that he can go on for a life time without you. You are not the only good fish in the sea. It's therefore up to you to decide if he's worth the stress.

Ashley2389: I understand you well, but the problem I have is my ego, besides I think if I should call him and apologise, he ll think I am weak, he ll believe he can do anything, and I ll go nowhere, he ll take me for granted. I also won't be able to stand it, if he should say no to my apology, if he loves me as much as he claimed, how come he was able to do without me for a whole month! I think its over for real, it looks like a dream sometimes, I bleeped up again and this time I left a permanent scar

Did u even read my post at all?
Turn it around, he cld also be thinking if u loved him for real, how were you able yo go for a whole month without him. Heck, what makes you think the guy doesn't need to feel loved also! All dose things abt feeling weak and what not, it's just your ego telling u trash! If you call him nd he over-hypes it, then it's his maturity in question, not urs!

Get ova yourself already and do the right thing! You can only claim to love someone when you're not afraid to show them the strongest and weakest sides of your being!

If making a call is too difficult for u to do, compose your thoughts in a text and close ya eyes while u press 'send'. U'll see the way you'll feel after that! The truth is you both can do without each other, so, as Matthew said, he cld go a lifetime without you and you without him but the difference wld always be dt he'll know he did his best while you'll always carry d guilt with you!









NOTE: if dis is some teenage relationship thingy, pls, kindly discard all my posts above and go with this one: 'face your books'!

@Ashley, admiting your mistake is never a sign of weakness but that of maturity, Ego is not needed in every situation, do the right thing sister.


@Alutacontinua.... Wonderful advice.