Yeah! It's about time. Nairaland’s Singles and Married e-Summit Season 2 going live. This year’s Singles and Married e-Summit features personalities that has paid their dues on this forum and worthy of recognition on this platform. They probably don’t make noise but wisdom saddles their postings. By popular request, I’m presenting again, one of the speakers of the 1st Edition:

MEET THE SPEAKERS

MRBROWNJAY is a late 30s laid back French/Nigerian guy, who has lived all of his adult life in the entertainment business (DJ), traveling the world and meeting people from different background and cultures. MBJ is not the conventional speaker as his views may sometimes "be out there" to many, but he will always bring a valid point to support his point. He has turned down MANY marriage request (lol), not because of fear like most would think, but because of the understanding and RESPECT he has for the institution of marriage, as well as himself.

Many would ask how an unmarried guy could ever give anyone advices on marriage.... and the answer is very simple: it takes way more than being married to UNDERSTAND the mechanics of marriage. He's on the FOCUS: Choosing a Life Partner


and introducing

VIVIANC
Vivianc a very fun, passionate lady, full of life. A go getter, free thinker and a Babe In Total Control of Herself. She is very single btw, infact, she describes herself as sassy, single and satisfied. You may ask, "What does a single girl know about "Towards a complete relationship?" My answer is, "Everything." You see, a complete relationship has to begin with yourself, first! She believes she can talk to someone out there. She believes someone can learn from her experiences, her mistakes, her losses, her gains, the lessons and knowledge she learned/gained through it all. Her philosophy about relationship? Love yourself first, then love a man when he has proved to you beyond all reasonable doubt that he is worth it. Watch out as she would be taking on the topic FOCUS: Towards a Complete Relationship.

SAGAMITE
Sagamite supposed real names are Kamoru Kasali Morufudeen Alao-Akala popularly known as ‘Omo Iya elewa shisan’ in Agege. A.k.a Saga Saga, Sagacity, Professional Ashawo, Omo Baba Eleko, Baby Father, Fuku faka fuku faka lovemachine. From somewhere in Sagamu where he believes he's a God! Professionally, he's into advising senior executives on how to drive their business to be profitable and as the ladies man on the romance section that specializes on giving advices strictly to men in regards relationship, he has proved himself via his content to be on the list of speakers for this edition. He's to take on the FOCUS: The Men's Guide for a Lasting Relationship.

You can't afford to miss this! It's going live at 7pm. Expect something unusual, it does gonna be a combat of knowledge extremist. I’m looking forward to lives that would be empowered via these good contents. Stay glued to this thread . . . it’s the Nairaland's Singles and Married e-Summit Season 2. . .Don’t Miss This!

Will be back later
Meanwhile, Celebrate with me

OK, if u don't knw me, i knw myself!

This is SLiDE waxie, aka KINGwax™ da badass! The champ who derives his uniqueness from his oddness!

Father of two (a male and a female, different lovely mothers), forever single (never searching), still pumping! Who cares?

Loves beauty, a curse etched on by being a taurus!

Love sex, dislike virgins
Love decency..odd? Yep!

i'm a building technologist, architect, a potential farmer, poet, writer and a nice gamer! (Anybody wanna try me on FiFA 14?)


What else? i think i'm out..

Dnt fuckin hide my post!

LOL. . Ok noted bro! LOL

introducing a many yrs guest but recent member.gidjah; tall dark skinned hausa born n trained all d way.Though a decent of da west but sold out all d way to d born to rule dynasty.tslk less unless its pretty important.a mathematician computer statiscian by training, mech engr production n enterprenure by design.permit me to sign up!!

Alright, microphone check!

Present.

Present.

Alright people, here we go! It's the Nairaland's Singles and Married e-Summit holding right here. . .all audience get seated as we add value to lives. That's right!

The beauty of this Season is that we've got speakers that will be delivering content base on personal experiences. . .and what better way to learn than from people that has beared the scars and enjoyed the gains. . .it promises to be a loaded evening. . .you sure gonna be adding to your knowledge!

On the Menu, we've got interesting topics!

* Towards a Complete Relationship

* Choosing a Life Partner

and

The Men's Guide for a Lasting Relationship.

Lets see what focus we would be able to run tonight.

The 1st Speaker this evening, taking on the topic. . . Towards a Complete Relationship is no other but Vivianc. Please do read along as she make her postings. . .thanks!

Nice 

I hate to wait!

Towards a complete relationship.
Many of us have asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives, ;"how do I achieve a complete relationship?" "How do I make this relationship work?"
I'm really glad we are discussing this today, you know share ideas and learn something new, as we all know learning is a continous process.

Like I said in my profile, a complete relationship begins first and foremost with youself, yes you! You can't achieve a complete (whole) relationship without being yourself! The most important thing you are bringing on board a relationship is YOU! You can't recieve what you offer yourself, you can't be respected if you can't respect yourself. People treat you the way you treat yourself! A great song writer said, ;"Learning to love yourself is the greatest of all," and we all now know that a relationship doesn't make us complete, we make a relationship complete.
How then do we make ourselves complete?
A wise woman says, ;"In life, half the battle has to do with the lens we choose to see ourselves through." I totally agree! How about you? How do you see yourself? Like a prize? Worthy? Remember we don't need to be perfect (faultless), we only need to be complete (whole). We are not here to blab the usual "You have to be a great cook and offer the best s..ex, wear the most sexy lingeries, etc. Ofcourse we all have realised that good food and s..ex don't keep a relationship, neither do they make it complete. If they do, most of us would be living happily ever after, moi inclusive

There ways we can make ourselves complete:
1. By being happy all by ourselves. Being comfortable in our own skin. We don't need a man to validate our worth.
2. Set achievable goals and work towards them. Do we yawn to make ourselfs better for our own benefit? Aquire knowledge even when we think we don't need it? Do we have vision/mission? Do we have other interest we pursue other then men? Create time to enjoy ourself wether we have men in our lives or not? These days you hardly hear ladies say, "Oh I can't wait to pursue my dreams." "Oh I can't wait to aquire those skills, get that certification, take that dance class, go to that business school, etc." our only agendum these days is "get married," and the only things we are now building are our wardrobe, buy tons of make up and look fab, buy all sorts of flabby relationship books to help us polish our men chasing skills. Infact, most of us can be sumed up in one statment, ;"pretty and a hot body." And at the end of the day we end up running after frogs, cos when we are desperate cockroaches and squirrel will begin to look so good to us, and then we settle for less and miss out on true happiness. Its now bye bye happy and fulfilled life and welcome to a miserable one. God forbid!
3. Who defines you? You or the society? How many times have you stood for youselves? Or are you just a push over that let people's opinion matter? How many time have you stood up and tell someone that puts you down cos you still maybe single, say, "Hey, a i lead a happy and fulfilled life. If I get married my life would be great, if I don't my life would be great too?" yea, the media and society make us believe once a woman reaches 30yrs and above, she would start "shrinking." so you set yourself on a fertility clock and your time starts ticking- tick tock. Huge LIE!!! In fact, any of us that believes this nonsense should slap herself!!! There are researches that show that once a woman takes good care of herself, we can be sexy and fertile whether in her 20s, 30s, 40s..... We are like wine sisters, we get better with time.

4. Do you try too hard to convince people you are nice? Pls stop!!! Don't be nice! Be you! So you are allergic to bullshit, and so what? You try to convince a man,"I'm a good girl, my hubbies are going to the ophanage and feeding the poor, i can make you a 5 course meal everyday, I can never lie in a relationship, i have never had s..ex before, i have only had 2 lovers all my life....bla bla bla." For real? Are you crazy? Heave will not fall if you stand on your feet and tell someone, "Who i am is more than enough, if it is not enough for you, pls i'd be glad to help you pack!"

5. Miss low self esteem! Do you see yourself as not good enough? Not pretty enough? Not smart enough? When your relationship fails, its all your fault? Why? Because a jerk somewhere told you so? Do you still ask a man, "Do I look fat in this dress?" you can't even appreciate a common compliment without say, "how can you say I look great when my hair is this messy? I have no make up, etc." When a man touches you stomach you say "Honey don't worry, i'm working so hard to have a flat tummy?" or "sorry, my cooking is usually better than this?" Do you still ask a man, " Do you really love me or am I just a piss of azz?" Do you still apologise for doing what makes feel better, for chasing for dreams? Think about this sister, think.
6. The miss pity me. Do you tell a man the story of your life on a first date? How all the men you have dated are jerks? How your family hates you and are no good? How you have been have countless trips to the fertility clinic? Etc? Pls, its hightime we zipped it!

7. Act like a prize! A prize worth dying for? Working hard for? Or do you try to over compensate? Chase guys? Do you still wear all your s..ex appeal on your sleeve? Give it all to a man who hasn't earned it? Do you sacrifice too much for a man who has given you nothings? Neglected your own needs? Are you the "too nice" girl who takes care of everybody and no one is taking care of her? Do you still find yourself being stupidly humble and all that nonsense? Etc. Its time to stop!!! Remember, nothing good comes easy, including you!

8. What is your attitude towards life? Do you wear your emotion on your sleeve? Complain all the time? Whine? Expect happiness from others or the world? Nothing is as unattractive as someone with a crappy attitude towards life.

9. The "Queen of England." Lol, this queen of England doesn't earn a dime but she has enormously stupid high taste! She goes out on a date with someone and orders the most expensive item of the menu ("after all she is worth it", yet, she can't afford her own cup of coffee o. She is a student from a humble background, yet she wear 50k worth of Brazilian and Jamaican hair, Uses 3 Iphone 5, carries around LV purse but has only 100 in it. How do you explain this? Or she earn a 5 or 6 digits salary but spends 3 times her salary. Stays in a tastefully furnished 2 bedroom flat (beyond her salary) were chanel's dresses, drives a good car but can't afford to fuel it, she can't foot her small small bills o. She is owing almost everybody, etc. And wait for it, she thinks cos she offer a man some few minutes of raw and undiluted passion, she is now entitled to the man's money, eh? Who would like to achieve a complete relationship with a lady like this? Well, I guess only fools wh would love to be sent to their early graves.

*Exhales* I could go on and on but i'd like to stop here.

Sisters is never too late to pick up ourselves, dust ourselves and regain total control of our lives. Don't let this post make you feel stupid, hell no! Every woman at some point has been this stupid, including me. In fact, I used to be guilty of most of these things before I realized myself and since I did, my relationships with people; friends, family and yes, the opposite s..ex have improved a whole lot.

If you can't build yourself (whole), you can't build a relationship, and a complete relationship will ALWAYS be a MIRAGE to you.

One might ask, how do all these help me achieve and sustain a quality complete relationship?
We would see how these affect our relationship in the next post.

Be Right Back!

Please pardon the "lateness" of any speaker. This is a voluntary assignment as no one is under any obligation. Thanks for understanding!

Thanks Vivian, you still have the floor land

WELCOME BACK!
.............CONTINUATION...........
The big question is how do all these affect our relationship?

First of all let me tell you a little about what I have learned about men.
Men are hunters who love challenges, in fact so many threads on Romance section here would confirm this. We have seen countless threads opened by guys to brag about their sexual prowess and they get pats on the back by their follow hunters (men), they are "conquerors." No man (unless very few) sees a woman and fall instantly in love with her, nah, all they wanna do is "hit it," simple! Yes! They say to themselves, "She carry front, she carry back, she too package, I need to hit that no matter what it takes." They are beings who are scared as hell to commit to just a woman for the rest of their lives! Loosing their freedom is their worst nightmare.
They act like rebelicious teenager when you smother them with unnecessary attention.......... Oh and yes, they would love you to lick their azzes, and when you don't do all these, the chase is freaking on! Did I mention they hate losing? Awww, their egos can't take that. In fact, if it is legal, men would have the head of every woman they have conquered and hang them on their gates!!! (MJB would agree with me on this. *Ok,,, just kidding o*).
They love to be appreciated, praised, they would struggle to be your proirity. They love to feel special, especially when they finally conquered any woman who eluded them for a long time, lol.
And oh, women and "emotional" while are "logical." (Story). Your opinion? "Emotional, theirs? "Objective!" And don't forget, strong women with strong jawline and single bones scare the hell outta them. ok, let me shut up.
Having known a little about men, let's now analysis how not building yourself would ruin your relationship:

1. Quality men appreciate women who don't need them to be happy. Women who are comfortable in their own skin. That gives them mental challenge.

2. Quality men are scared of women who are dependent on them (Not entirely financially.) You see, when you as a woman doesn't a life of your own, no interest, no vision, no friends, etc. The men around you will bolt! Reason? If you are not busy building your life, you would be busy chasing them. You would wanna spend your entire time with them and occupy his space, he now has to report to you how he spends his entire time, you get so upset when he hangs out with the guys. He feels trapped in a cage and the next thing? He runs for his dear life!

3. Men are scared of commitment and they are scared of women who wants it so bad too. When you give a man the slightest idea that your biological clock is ticking therefore you want a serious relationship, he will raise walls to guard himself from a terrorist (you.) Everything you do becomes suspicious, any little act of kindness from you becomes a desperate move. "oh, she thinks cooking for me would make me marry her? After wasting her time she would leave." But when you appear as if you don't want a serious relationship with him, in fact don't even introduce him as a boyfriend, make statements like "Awww, you are a really fun guy." Meaning you are just having fun with him, don't make ur territory in his house, don't ask him about his ex (es). Do your own thing, you are just having fun. What would he do? He would lower his guard and fall in love with you without knowing it. And when he does? He would want to be exclusive with you, and commitment follows. Remember, no man can bear the thought of sharing his woman.

4. Quality men run away from women who can't stand and defend themselves. They don't value push overs and women who tolerate their craps. They find women who obey their every command boring, neither do they value women with no opinion. Its boring for them when they know they can treat you like trash and get away with it. You are killing the fun for them. They love it when you put them in their places, they like women who keep them a little bit on their toes, they love being around feisty women, feisty o, not abbrasive.

5. Quality men run away from women who tries so hard to convince them they are nice. They classify them as frauds. Do you blame them? They also take advantage of the nice girls cos they would filled you the nice girl with a lot of bullshit cos they know it would fly, you would swallow the bullshit hook, line and sinker. For instance, a guy would meet a nice girl who is very gullible and would tell her " I love you, what I feel for you is different, i have never felt this for anyone before. In fact, I see you as my wife, so its not about sex....bla bla bla bullshit." And the nice girl would go, "I have only been with 2 lovers, so I hate playing game, pls don't break my heart." Before you know it, the hunter would invite the girl over to his house, say "Come, i'm not interest in s..ex, I just want us to be together, I see you as my wife already." The nice girl says to herself, "I have found the prince," and runs to her, maybe sits on the couch. The hunter says, "No na, come and lay on the bed with me, I won't do anything, I just want to cuddle," before you know it, "why don't you remove your jean and bra, feel free, I already see you as my wife," and after 10 mins, "Eh, let me remove my boxers, I feel so hot here, I want to be free with you, you are already my wife," before you know it, " pls, let me just put 'it' inside, I won't make love to you, I won't even thrust, i just want to know how it feels in there, i love you so much," and before the nice girl could say "jack" her legs are in the air already. After the humping session she would realise herself and try to do damage control, "I have never done this before with a guy I just met." And after the humping session, the hunter moves on to another "challenge." The show is freaking over! .

6. Nobody finds a woman with low self esteem attractive. Not even me!

7. No quality man would want to hear to story of your life on the first date, or ever. Neither do they wanna hear how many men have been "down there." Hell no! Most men want to be "virgins," they are delusional that way. They would wanna brag about how many things they have hit, but if you as a woman tries to brag? You are a ho. Another thing, telling a man that all your exes are jerks would make him lose respect for you. He would say to himself,"I can't believe you will stoop so low, what are you? A fool? If a man can't treat you that way and get away with it, that means I can do anything I want."

8. When you act like a prize, men would believe they are getting a good "deal." This is not about playing hard to get, its about telling a man with your actions, "hey Mr., If you want me, you are gonna work for it, earn it, invest alot of your time in it. I won't drop my life and run after you simply because you promised me a ring. I need to know if you are going my direction before I hop into this car with you." Its about not letting a man eat his cake and have it. If you chase a man, jump through hoops for him, wear your all s..ex appeal on your sleeve? He would sleep with you and move on, or sleep with and put you on a reserve list, or classify you as booty call. Remember, nothing good comes easy, including you! I have heard this expression before, "If the sex is easy, it is not that good." Have you?

9. No man want a woman who would send him to his early grave, or wreck him financially. Men are scared of not meeting the needs of his family, they are so scared of what will happen if they fail to meet your high taste needs? "would she still be here with me, or would she follow next available man that drives a Range Rover sport?" Men want a woman who can face this roller coaster ride called "life." Not to fulfill some fairy tale fantasies of a woman.

10. No man feels happy around a woman with the wrong attitude towards life. No man wants a woman who is never appreciative of little things, who always have emotional outburst, nags, yells, etc. No man wants a woman who is pesimistic, and who always puts off the fire in him.

The truth of the matter is, there are lots of ways not making ourselves whole (complete) can affect our relationships, negatively.

BRB

Haba! This is too long na..
Make it into an e-book jur!

Mo bad gan.....be right bak 2 fill dis space


Modified
Vivian c- uv gat words,and dey are so interestin and makes sense....dis shld help our gurls surely

well said viv

D-Explorer:
When i said wisdom saddles their postings, that wasn't a lie! I took my time to read and i'm enjoying this. . .infact, adding!

More Vivian, more!

Pls hang on. BTW, you said Sagamite was going first, what happened.

Would post shortly.

Meanwhile, welcome everyone.

...ok...watching

vivianc:

Pls hang on. BTW, you said Sagamite was going first, what happened.

Would post shortly.

Meanwhile, welcome everyone.

Still contacting him. . .he was so ready to go. . .had to change the time for everyone to be fully set. You're hitting this land sis Good to have you fill in

@vivianc lenghty but Definitely worth reading... especially the 2nd entry .