"Hahahaha! Wetin you go find for that place na" yahaya and sunday inquired as they were busy laughing at me.. "I wan go see my friend wey be warder na" I replied. "Aaah, you wan go c warder?! You no know say dem go think say u wan escape?" Yahaya said. "And if dem c u dey talk to warder anyhow dem lock una 2 for single cell...dem go think say wether he wan help u escape" Sunday added. "How I go take escape for this kain maximum security with high fences like dis? Abi dem think say I be michael scofield?" I said angrily and they all laughed. We decided to take a stroll, while we were strolling I saw another dude that I know from the hood again. Iman. I was so surprised. Iman is a son of a warder but his a thug life nigga. He runs with the baddest boys on the street. I asked him why he was here he said he did a deal at his work place and the thing was unsuccessful. I asked him how much deal, he said it's 70k and I was disappointed. How could you risk going to prison for jst 70k! I wondered. He said he has been on awaiting trial for 4 months I just pitied him. I found out that my own situation is even good. At a point I feel that it's good I was here, maybe God wants me to come and experience how life is going in here but I also prayed for God not let me enter this miserable place ever again in my life.

Iman has been a very bad boy! He knows every nooks and crannies of the yard. He knows d rules. The dos and don'ts. "Skul come make we go show u Sir K cell." Iman said. "Who be sir k na" I asked anxiously . "U no knw sir k again? Dat guy wey dey sell igboh for road side." He explained. "So u mean say baba k dey for yard? Na wa o, na full house dey here be dat oh!." I said as we walk down to to area where the main convicts were been locked down. We walked pass a mosque where I saw some chinese prisoners. I also saw one iranian guy around. I concluded he was the iranian dude who was caught trying to smuggle some weapons into the country. I also ask and they told me he was arrested recently in connection with weapon deals. The whole story thing happened last year's Ramadan (fasting period). I think it should be around september or so I can't remember right now. We went straight down where there's a whole lot of convicts. They're putting on their normal blue uniform. Many of them are doing one business or the other inside. Some sell provisions, some do shoe-shinning/repairing, some nail cuting, others are dry cleaning etc. We reached the end of the block where I saw a guy making stoves using cans. I stopped and watched as he busy doing his tins. I even prize the stoves I forgot their prizes but the biggest one is around #1500 or plus. We also saw some VIP cells that are well furnished. If you have the money you can pay to serve you terms in one of the luxury cell rooms in federal palace hotel.

We later saw sir k he shouted when he saw me. "Ah! Fine boy, wetin carry come here? werey, abi u come buy state beans?" He said jokingly. "U dey mad, na u go come buy state beans. U wey be say u don collect jersey" I fired at him. "Wa abi oloshi ne ye, ofe ki won fun e ni igbe je ni?" (Meaning: "u are a bastard, I wil tel bois to feed u on poo". He said wit a sudden frown on his face. "Guy cool down no be play I follow u play.. Omo how far I dey even hungry sef." I complained and codedly changed d subject. Just when I said I'm hungry "gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun" the bell keeps ringing. That means everybody must go back into the cell. The break is for only one hour twenty minutes. "Make una quick gather money buy indomie make I go cook am for una inside my cell. I go bring am come giv una for inside una cell." Iman suggested. "How u wan tek comot for cell after dem don lock cell?" I asked scepticaly. "Dem dis one get out for here oh, e be like u no knw as e dey go" AA lectured me. "Ok oya na make we contribute, I get 2 H" I dropped 200 naira out of my 500 naira, I'm left with a balance of 300 naira wit me. Everyone contributed and we all handed the money to Iman and left before a warder will come a chase us wit a koboko.

Ok dis ur story is funny yet interesting revealing.

Na real boarding house you go

experimentist: "Hahahaha! Wetin you go find for that place na" yahaya and sunday inquired as they were busy laughing at me.. "I wan go see my friend wey be warder na" I replied. "Aaah, you wan go c warder?! You no know say dem go think say u wan escape?" Yahaya said. "And if dem c u dey talk to warder anyhow dem lock una 2 for single cell...dem go think say wether he wan help u escape" Sunday added. "How I go take escape for this kain maximum security with high fences like dis? Abi dem think say I be michael scofield?" I said angrily and they all laughed. We decided to take a stroll, while we were strolling I saw another dude that I know from the hood again. Iman. I was so surprised. Iman is a son of a warder but his a thug life nigga. He runs with the baddest boys on the street. I asked him why he was here he said he did a deal at his work place and the thing was unsuccessful. I asked him how much deal, he said it's 70k and I was disappointed. How could you risk going to prison for jst 70k! I wondered. He said he has been on awaiting trial for 4 months I just pitied him. I found out that my own situation is even good. At a point I feel that it's good I was here, maybe God wants me to come and experience how life is going in here but I also prayed for God not let me enter this miserable place ever again in my life.

Iman has been a very bad boy! He knows every nooks and crannies of the yard. He knows d rules. The dos and don'ts. "Skul come make we go show u Sir K cell." Iman said. "Who be sir k na" I asked anxiously . "U no knw sir k again? Dat guy wey dey sell igboh for road side." He explained. "So u mean say baba k dey for yard? Na wa o, na full house dey here be dat oh!." I said as we walk down to to area where the main convicts were been locked down. We walked pass a mosque where I saw some chinese prisoners. I also saw one iranian guy around. I concluded he was the iranian dude who was caught trying to smuggle some weapons into the country. I also ask and they told me he was arrested recently in connection with weapon deals. The whole story thing happened last year's Ramadan (fasting period). I think it should be around september or so I can't remember right now. We went straight down where there's a whole lot of convicts. They're putting on their normal blue uniform. Many of them are doing one business or the other inside. Some sell provisions, some do shoe-shinning/repairing, some nail cuting, others are dry cleaning etc. We reached the end of the block where I saw a guy making stoves using cans. I stopped and watched as he busy doing his tins. I even prize the stoves I forgot their prizes but the biggest one is around #1500 or plus. We also saw some VIP cells that are well furnished. If you have the money you can pay to serve you terms in one of the luxury cell rooms in federal palace hotel.

We later saw sir k he shouted when he saw me. "Ah! Fine boy, wetin carry come here? werey, abi u come buy state beans?" He said jokingly. "U dey mad, na u go come buy state beans. U wey be say u don collect jersey" I fired at him. "Wa abi oloshi ne ye, ofe ki won fun e ni igbe je ni?" (Meaning: "u are a bastard, I wil tel bois to feed u on poo". He said wit a sudden frown on his face. "Guy cool down no be play I follow u play.. Omo how far I dey even hungry sef." I complained and codedly changed d subject. Just when I said I'm hungry "gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun" the bell keeps ringing. That means everybody must go back into the cell. The break is for only one hour twenty minutes. "Make una quick gather money buy indomie make I go cook am for una inside my cell. I go bring am come giv una for inside una cell." Iman suggested. "How u wan tek comot for cell after dem don lock cell?" I asked scepticaly. "Dem dis one get out for here oh, e be like u no knw as e dey go" AA lectured me. "Ok oya na make we contribute, I get 2 H" I dropped 200 naira out of my 500 naira, I'm left with a balance of 300 naira wit me. Everyone contributed and we all handed the money to Iman and left before a warder will come a chase us wit a koboko.

OMG! Your narration is just too explicit.. And If you don't mind I could sponsor the book. You can contact me via the nairaland email channel.

All the best.

experimentist: "Hahahaha! Wetin you go find for that place na" yahaya and sunday inquired as they were busy laughing at me.. "I wan go see my friend wey be warder na" I replied. "Aaah, you wan go c warder?! You no know say dem go think say u wan escape?" Yahaya said. "And if dem c u dey talk to warder anyhow dem lock una 2 for single cell...dem go think say wether he wan help u escape" Sunday added. "How I go take escape for this kain maximum security with high fences like dis? Abi dem think say I be michael scofield?" I said angrily and they all laughed. We decided to take a stroll, while we were strolling I saw another dude that I know from the hood again. Iman. I was so surprised. Iman is a son of a warder but his a thug life nigga. He runs with the baddest boys on the street. I asked him why he was here he said he did a deal at his work place and the thing was unsuccessful. I asked him how much deal, he said it's 70k and I was disappointed. How could you risk going to prison for jst 70k! I wondered. He said he has been on awaiting trial for 4 months I just pitied him. I found out that my own situation is even good. At a point I feel that it's good I was here, maybe God wants me to come and experience how life is going in here but I also prayed for God not let me enter this miserable place ever again in my life.

Iman has been a very bad boy! He knows every nooks and crannies of the yard. He knows d rules. The dos and don'ts. "Skul come make we go show u Sir K cell." Iman said. "Who be sir k na" I asked anxiously . "U no knw sir k again? Dat guy wey dey sell igboh for road side." He explained. "So u mean say baba k dey for yard? Na wa o, na full house dey here be dat oh!." I said as we walk down to to area where the main convicts were been locked down. We walked pass a mosque where I saw some chinese prisoners. I also saw one iranian guy around. I concluded he was the iranian dude who was caught trying to smuggle some weapons into the country. I also ask and they told me he was arrested recently in connection with weapon deals. The whole story thing happened last year's Ramadan (fasting period). I think it should be around september or so I can't remember right now. We went straight down where there's a whole lot of convicts. They're putting on their normal blue uniform. Many of them are doing one business or the other inside. Some sell provisions, some do shoe-shinning/repairing, some nail cuting, others are dry cleaning etc. We reached the end of the block where I saw a guy making stoves using cans. I stopped and watched as he busy doing his tins. I even prize the stoves I forgot their prizes but the biggest one is around #1500 or plus. We also saw some VIP cells that are well furnished. If you have the money you can pay to serve you terms in one of the luxury cell rooms in federal palace hotel.

We later saw sir k he shouted when he saw me. "Ah! Fine boy, wetin carry come here? werey, abi u come buy state beans?" He said jokingly. "U dey mad, na u go come buy state beans. U wey be say u don collect jersey" I fired at him. "Wa abi oloshi ne ye, ofe ki won fun e ni igbe je ni?" (Meaning: "u are a bastard, I wil tel bois to feed u on poo". He said wit a sudden frown on his face. "Guy cool down no be play I follow u play.. Omo how far I dey even hungry sef." I complained and codedly changed d subject. Just when I said I'm hungry "gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun, gbagaun" the bell keeps ringing. That means everybody must go back into the cell. The break is for only one hour twenty minutes. "Make una quick gather money buy indomie make I go cook am for una inside my cell. I go bring am come giv una for inside una cell." Iman suggested. "How u wan tek comot for cell after dem don lock cell?" I asked scepticaly. "Dem dis one get out for here oh, e be like u no knw as e dey go" AA lectured me. "Ok oya na make we contribute, I get 2 H" I dropped 200 naira out of my 500 naira, I'm left with a balance of 300 naira wit me. Everyone contributed and we all handed the money to Iman and left before a warder will come a chase us wit a koboko.

OMG! Your narration is just too explicit.. And If you don't mind I could sponsor the book. You can contact me via the nairaland email channel.

All the best.

No tell me say the tori do finish o lol

Gud morning ladies and ghettomen. Hope yall sleep tyt. Update coming up by 10 am. Have a fruitful day

Come oo,is smoking weed d type of crime dat takes u to prison? Maximum security prison at dat? Shey our law officers don arrest murderers,pedofiles nd their likes finish? Na wa,by d way @op no work for u today,dis story must finish, I don vex

Kingtim: No tell me say the tori do finish o lol

O boy tori stil boku oh. I can't even end it today because I have a job outside here but I will typing anytime I'm less busy. I must finish d tori anyhow. After my release d tori go end..

Justeenaleo: Come oo,is smoking weed d type of crime dat takes u to prison? Maximum security prison at dat? Shey our law officers don arrest murderers,pedofiles nd their likes finish? Na wa,by d way @op no work for u today,dis story must finish, I don vex

D tin tire me o, my sister. Our police and judicial system na yauyau.. Abeg make u no vexx oh, I go update small but d tori too long to finish today. Abi u wan mek dem sack me for work?

I will like to know you!! Brother

tunde1200: I will like to know you!! Brother

u r welcome broda. I reside in lagos n u? Pls come wit a high grade we coming.

I never could have imagined that any nigerian prison yard is as bad as the O.P has narrated plus i saw a picture of nigerian prison cell someone pasted on one other thread, was like, WHAT!!!. I thought what is seen on nollywood prison movies is what is obtainable where u find max of 3 or 4 inmates in a clean cell. Guess its time someone did a documentary titled"state of nigerian prison". Thanks O.P. For the expoze

@op you no dey here word. You know whether the guy na under cover policeman, you go just start round two
You be hood guy nor with the number of associate you met there.

A lot of things is wrong with this country we still got a long way to go.

experimentist: u r welcome broda. I reside in lagos n u? Pls come wit a high grade we coming.

Ok you can inbox me details of contact thriugh
Lafab1200@gmail.com

Tmany: @op you no dey here word. You know whether the guy na under cover policeman, you go just start round two
You be hood guy nor with the number of associate you met there.

A lot of things is wrong with this country we still got a long way to go.

In tony montana's voice. *Bleep no! I ain't going back to jail, I've been there*

Make i give una tip of what op is saying


so people get mouth to talk say op is lying. Smh

chinedumo: Make i give una tip of what op is saying

Yeeeee! Where u get dis pics from! That is exactly what I'm talking about!

As we were all walking back to our ward, I sighted chuchuchu. Chuchuchu is one of the special inmates in ikoyi prison. Thou there's no big boy in jail, one can get whatever he wants as long as money talks. They said "money talks, bullshitts walk out" lol. Chuchuchu is one of the big boys in the yard. Outside prison I've known him as someone that always dress clean. He use to be my junior in secondary school. He was in jss3 wen I was in ss2. After school he started working for one alhaji who is changing currencies in VI since then he's been stacking papers. As I saw him I hailed him and proceed to move on cos there's thid warder chasing and flogging inamtes wit a koboko forcing dem to their various cells. As I was about to run I was halted by chuchuchu's voice. "Ina zaka je ne? Ka saya a nan, ba wa ze ta ba ka inna nan." (Where are u goin? Stay here, nobody will touch as long u r wit me." He commanded. " Shuu see dis boy wey I dey flog for school anyhw nahin dey mek control for inside prison." I said in my mind. We stood there and discussed for a long time. He told me how got here. What he did. He ran away with alhaji's money in different currencies worth millions. He ran to abroad [country name witheld] to a nearby country and bought properties there. He told me he have a house abroad and that he collect rent payments from the residentials. I was left surprised. He looked at his watch and said "oya make we dey go, make I escort u go ur sell. If I no follow u now dem fit change am for u oh." "Ok, abeg make we go" I agreed and we walked toward my ward. He took me to my ward and down to my cell without any interrogation, come c as dem dey hail d small guy for prison. "Dis boy get mouth for dis jail oh" I tot to myself. We got to my cell and we stopped at the entrance as chuchuchu and my cell president started to themselves. He told the guy to make sure nothing happens to me. All my cell mates were surprised seeing me coming back late and with one the prison's big boys. "I don become small chairman be dat oh" I tot. Just then I saw Iman coming towards my cell with a plate in his hand. He had prepared the indomie and wants to pass it to me, he entered our cell freely and handed over the plate to me. My cell mates were again surprised. "Guy u sabi people for dis prison oh, u sure say u go go house if dem release so" a guy said jokingly. "You dey mad, na u no go go house if dem release u, u wey be say u don get stove and bed, u be residential here already" I replied d guy back and everybody laughed. I saw from the peep hole that chuchuchu and iman were already on their way out of the ward as I open my plate of indomie and started munching it like a hungry lion that I was then.

Noises and commotions was coming from every angle of the cell as usual. I couldnt believe I was winning and dining with all these criminals in one room. Although many inmates are being jailed wrongly just like me, a lot of dem na confam criminals. I made many friends just in my first day, I was in a very good relationship with the DPO, a Hausa guy. Main looking at his face you go know say dis one don kill person before. Na God know wether he dey even chop human beings. The guy just like me just like dat. "Abi e fork my yansh?" I tot. He asked me if I av any cigarette wit me I said no. "Tj, give me cigar there" he brought out a 50 naira and handed over to the guy who is selling cigarette. "Oya take oga DPO" tj handed him 4 sticks of benson and hedges. Cigarette is sold for 20 naira per stick, 2 for 30 naira, and 3 for 50 naira. But as a senior officer, d DPO was given 4 cigarette and he handed 2 over to me while he retain the rest 2. I robbed mind with many him and he told me that himself and his gangs are the ones terrorising and robbing/controlling badagry express way. They owned that zone. He aslo told me that he needs a certain amount to secure his release. I was shocked to learned that deadly arm robbers can use money to pay warders and judges to secure their release out of prison. What a country! He als explained told how they rob using okadas. How they will rob aboki guys that change currency at a .________________/\_
< / '—_______——____|]
/_==0;;;;;;;;___.:/
), —.(_(__) /
// (..) ), ——"
//___// point. He said after his release, he will need to rob and make some couple of millions before he could retire and turn a new leaf. I open my like mumu! So even inside prison these dey pray to comot go rob people again! We don die! As wey dey naso we burn cigar, me wey no dey baz before(I use to cigarette before I quit for more than3yrs) don come turn chief bazists. 300 naira wey remain for my hand I comot 50 naira give DPO make e arrange more baz for us b'cos na 4 hin go collect but if na me dem gi mi 3. Imagine an ordinary alejo dey send DPO msg for jente. (na God oh) he collected more baz and we continue smoking and talking while the rest inmates are doing they own things. One guy who said he's from mushin neighbourhood (I forgot what they used to call him) also clinched wit me. He told me I should worry that he have boys in mushin, that he can connect me wit them if I want any weapon they'll provide I just said no wahala.

It's 5pm and time for fasting breaking is approaching. Everyone was busy trying to prepare their meals. Everyone has his own stove, food stuffs etc. Family members use to visit and give some of them food supply. Those that don't have anybody outside world will have to hustle, make money and buy whatever they need to survive. They all busy preparing food with a very small but mighty stove. You'll be surprised at the amount of food a little peak milk tinned sized stove will cook with a very little kerosene. Guys will prepare stew and rice, some will prepare beans while some even prepare egusi soup and then make eba to swallow. Garri is the most common food in the yard. Boys no dey lack garri at all no wonder the prize of garri is very high in the market. It's high time Nairaland garri activists protest about the prize of garri. (Na joke o). As everyone is cooking, the room now turns to an oven. Imagine out 87 men make like 50 on stoves dey cook. No be small tin. As time goes by just before 6pm, food provided by NASFAT (one muslim organisations I forgot the full meaning of nasfat) will be shared round by the 'OC food' to everyone for fasting breaking. A times they bring rice, a times eba, semo etc.. They also share fried small-small fish. You go c where boys dey buy/sell fishes. They buy and sell 20naira for one fish. Then later on the main prison food go land. That one na rubbish food aswear.. They can just bring only garri and white rice that looks like tuwo and without stew or anything to eat it with. Na u knw wetin u go take do sauce, nothin concern dem. as the time for prayer approaches the whole cell room will be swept and and mat spreat all activities stopped till after prayers.

chinedumo: Make i give una tip of what op is saying

Blood of God!! Lord save our soul!!

Woow

What a life story

experimentist:

Yeeeee! Where u get dis pics from! That is exactly what I'm talking about!

op no use me play. Lol

Some people get moral to smuggle camera for prison

ogeoflyf:
Blood of God!! Lord save our soul!!

Woow

nne no fear.

Things beta for females in prison

chinedumo:

op no use me play. Lol

Some people get moral to smuggle camera for prison

bro, it's like u na warder abi?

Chaii...ah dun laff tire...cnt bliv am jx reading dis today...buh





nr tel me say na der e end o...update ASAP

experimentist: bro, it's like u na warder abi?

u no know that if prisoner plan am together them fit snap pix tell d outside world wetin dem dey see.

op no vex o.

But u don start prison charity NGO?

chinedumo:

nne no fear.

Things beta for females in prison

how you take know.?
BTW y are you telling me , I tell you say I one visit.. (•_•)

hmmmmn,am jst speechless....dnt knw when tears gushed out of my naked eyes and full a 50ltr of jerican....this indeed a sorrowful experience..

Nice write up

ogeoflyf:
how you take know.?
BTW y are you telling me , I tell you say I one visit.. (•_•)

wetin i mean be say u no fit suffer like guys dey suffer.
Woman no dey plenti like dat for prison.


But i hear say female wardens dey collect money from big men to sleep with female inmates.
Nne i know u b big woman
Nne try visit. Na human beings like you o. Even if it is to go and say sorry. U have tried.

jesus said 'when i was in prison you visited me'

@OP,morrrrrrre!

I've been to Ikoyi prisons on prison ministration. I could never have guessed that things were this bad inside.

chinedumo:

u no know that if prisoner plan am together them fit snap pix tell d outside world wetin dem dey see.

op no vex o.

But u don start prison charity NGO?

bro na true. When I dey there sef I reason something like dis. Abeg u get their latrine pix? Dat place is sooooooooo disgusting and irritating. Some people no go fit survive for dat kain place oh.