My ex girl friend from Uni fished me out on facebook and we got re-connected on BB, phone and all that. I discovered she got married last year to a guy she met 4 months prior and I made her know I was really happy 4 her.

Recently however she has been constantly chatting with me on BB day and night,talking about regreting why she left me then, saying all sorts of stuff like she regrets her marriage to her hubby, claims she's the one fending 4 him and keeping the house with her job and little business as he's been unemployed since b4 the wedding. She also started begging for money and giving crazy signals that she's still in love with me, talking dirty stuff like she would want to have secret meet ups with me and is determined to secretly carry my baby!

At a point I started limiting my contacts with her, though I sent her money to help support her home for the time being without her hubbys knowledge.

Lately I started thinking what if I could employ her hubby in my company cos am in need of an officer 4 a generic role which he could easily fit in. I told her about this and she got excited but when she kept on with the dirty talks and the disrespect for her hubby 4 needing my help, I started to think maybe I spoke too soon. I really don't want to mess up the guys ego or do anything to spoil their home. So am thinking not to offer him the job, or should I?

Pls Matured pro-family oriented replies only

Thanks

i will suggest u employ him ,to save him from embarassment.
#my opinion#
let me wait for more comments

Please in the name of whatever God you pray to,call him and give him the job.But also let him know about what you both had back then but you really love to help out as she chose him.Make him appear ok and please tell him he can be on it till he gets something else.
I guess it is about the friendship right,pls keep respecting her home but dnt also make him feel she asked you.Relate with him man to man,he'll feel ok trust me and since you have some sense of reason this will help keep you incheck that she is taken

Please keep away from such an ex and her family. This lady will get you in trouble. Her husband is a man, let him find solution to his problems. I dont think things will go down well if he eventually finds out about the history between you two given wifeys tendencies. You can recommend him for a job in someone else's company, but not yours. Before she found you, they were surviving. So when you leave they will either survive or part ways. That shouldnt be your business or problem.

Giving the man the job is not the solution to the problem because the wife is already talking dirty with you despite her being in her matrimonial home. Imagine her saying she can carry your baby secretly. I will advice you ignore your EX and her family completely because i foresee danger on the long run.

In d name of any Deity u serve I beg u not to call up problems upon your head because soon na for your head they go finally take settle their family matter; DO NOT EMPLOY D HUBBY, ALSO PLEASE LIMIT oR DELETE All contacts wit that woman, tell her she is married dt she shld leave u alone and settle her internal affairs internally,she n her hubby will survive without your help.

Y U should not Do a Good deed?
1. It'll surely backfire, D man like all men especially d jobless ones have Egos taller than MTN masts, he will perceive it as smthing else(maybe u doing his wife a favour after she has done u a favour in turn also) his wife's Ex wants to employ him?? Actually I fink u shld put urself in d Man's shoe for a better understanding of this. people don't just believe others want to do a good deed just like that, with no ulterior motives
2. this might simply be d woman's womanly ways of trying to get closer to u and rekindling whatever she still feels, u know visiting her husband more often at wrk, and coming at those office parties pple are meant to come to wit their spouse(this will definitely give her easier access to u)
3. U would just give a woman who already detests her husband more things to use in her verbal Arsenal like reminding him that he is where he is today becos of the goodwill of her Ex during their next quarell, ofcourse d hubby will take it out on you, even if nuffin is happening, he wouldn't hesitate to spread D word around d office. Dt u re banging his wife, or take out his frustrations on d quality of work he produces
4. Even if none of these happens, from experience such goodwills never end well they always turn out bad.

If you have another friend who can hire him u can beg d friend and do it discreetly do not let d woman or d hubby know you are behind it. If not please help some other jobless Man God will still send them their own helper, its not just you.

itsmelex: Please in the name of whatever God you pray to,call him and give him the job.But also let him know about what you both had back then but you really love to help out as she chose him.Make him appear ok and please tell him he can be on it till he gets something else.
I guess it is about the friendship right,pls keep respecting her home but dnt also make him feel she asked you.Relate with him man to man,he'll feel ok trust me and since you have some sense of reason this will help keep you incheck that she is taken

Honestly speaking I had initially made up my mind about offering him the job even with some extra perks I wouldn't normally add, however I am worried about what might happen if they like get into a disagreement or quarel in future and the tendency for the wife being how she is to remind the guy of how she got him fixed up or comparing him to me her ex, who's now their benefactor. Am a man and know it could b very painful to hear that from your wife.

Save d poor guy this ur stupid drama with his wife by not employing him.
What more can u two not do to humiliate him?
Ezigbo mmadu.
I can c ur benevolent spirit is something to be admired greatly.

Ok, thanks for replies so far but another question here is if I decide not to employ the hubby do I still have to sustain the financial help I secretly provide to aid her business or cut off all those as well? She has really tried sustaining the business but their needs as a family seem to be cripling it. Besides I can't sustain this for long as I need to account for my incoming and outgoing funds too. Hence the thought of employing him as a money generating resource rather than the liability of dashing them free funds just seemed sensible.

As advised, the best shot you have at helping him is if you can fix in a different company from yours.

Meanwhile, do all you can to cut off communication with the lady. She may become desperate one day to do what is not pleasant. By that time, you would have gone far with her and it will be a story that touch.

Flee from every APPEARANCE of EVIL...

Are you their father Must you feed and clothe a grown man and his family? Let them find solutions to their problem and keep away if you dont have alternatives other than giving handouts and job in your company. Let their family help them. They said they were mature enough to get married, let them be mature enough to solve their own problems. I suggest you stay out of their business, and tell the woman you have helped as much as you can. As her family problems are becoming a burden on you as well.

bellong: As advised, the best shot you have at helping him is if you can fix in a different company from yours.

Meanwhile, do all you can to cut off communication with the lady. She may become desperate one day to do what is not pleasant. By that time, you would have gone far with her and it will be a story that touch.

Flee from every APPEARANCE of EVIL...

Hahaha I see what you mean, but I can asure you am not that kind of guy. Though your advice is true and precious so ill take it to heart too. Thanks

swiftycool:

Hahaha I see what you mean, but I can asure you am not that kind of guy. Though your advice is true and precious so ill take it to heart too. Thanks

It's not written on the face oh swiftycool so don't do like that and kwaja another man's wife. The points made so far are enough for you to take a decision.

There is no way the man will b comfortable with this arrangement knowing u used to b his wife's ex, am sure u know guys are more jealous.. If u insist on doing the family dis favour, let the husband know what u had wit the lady, and once he is employed become standoffish wit the lady...men and pride I doubt the man will wanna take up d job doe..

Bootylicious: There is no way the man will b comfortable with this arrangement knowing u used to b his wife's ex, am sure u know guys are more jealous.. If u insist on doing the family dis favour, let the husband know what u had wit the lady, and once he is employed become standoffish wit the lady...men and pride I doubt the man will wanna take up d job doe..

Men and pride you say lol! Just curious,@Bootylicious; would you be willing as a lady to take a job working under a lady who was your hubby's ex especially if u needed one so desperately?

Offer him the damn job if he is qualified and cut out the rest of the JUNK!
STOP ALL CONTACT WITH THE UNSERIOUS LADY! She has no class and sounds like a damn LOSER!

Keep your wife out of all this yama yama abegggi!

She sounds like a "commoner"!
You BOTH must have had quite a lot in common! What in da world attracted you to such a 'thing'?
Please upgrade your taste in women!
Thanks!

@baby_123 you have a very reasonable point but don't spoil it by being aggressive in your assertions devoid of human face.

@OP, please stay away from that woman and her husband. You have a good intentions towards helping your ex which I must commend. However, the circumstance on ground makes it a very dangerous part to walk. Irrespective of your noble intentions, the man will harbour a great animosity for you and there is no saying what he can do. Employing him will be like dinning with the enemy.

The best way to help out is to recommend and probably persuade a friend to employ him. Then give the wife the details and ask that she compels her hubby to go to the company to apply and submit his CV. This way, you will stay out of harm's way.

A man's wife is his pride and anything that touches that pride stands on a dangerous ground.

My 1 kobo.

swiftycool:
Lately I started thinking what if I could employ her hubby in my company cos am in need of an officer 4 a generic role which he could easily fit in. I told her about this and she got excited but when she kept on with the dirty talks and the disrespect for her hubby 4 needing my help, I started to think maybe I spoke too soon. I really don't want to mess up the guys ego or do anything to spoil their home. So am thinking not to offer him the job, or should I?

Thanks

The best way to know the right decision is to put yourself in the husband's shoes. So you will just call the guy and say "hi, I am your wife's ex and she says you are jobless. I need an officer, will you come join my company?". If you were the husband, what will you say?

So after that, you and the wife will continue your "dirty talk". Bro, the first thing you need to do is stop the dirty talk with another man's wife. Forget your story that she is the one that talks dirty. If you wouldn't allow it, she wouldn't continue talking dirty. She continues all your dirty chit chats cos she knows you kinda enjoy it. You don't have any business employing her husband, your immediate task is to stop any form of communication with her. Employing her husband may give you a "feel good" factor but don't worry about them. And yes, you are already spoiling their home.

Sorry if I sound harsh!

@ OP sorry I may have to sound blunt. I think you want to sleep with your married ex. How can you continue to allow a married woman to be talking dirty to you? When did you decide to employ the husband before or after the dirty talk and the promise of carrying your baby? Some men are very wicked and heartless. Do you think every condition is permanent? May the almighty help that man to get a job and divorce that woman, she is not worthy to be a wife. As far as I am concerned, she is already cheating. It all starts from the mind and you aided and are aiding it. get out of here with your hipocritical help and may your wife talk dirty to another man and promise to carry another man's baby secretly. Lets see whether you will accept a job from such a man. You are not trying to be good, you are just trying to justify your wanting and possibly sleeping with another man's wife. I wish you are close so i could land you a well deserved punch in the face!

In my own opinion like folks have said above

Cut off from her and delete her contact

Don't employ the hubby because you are endangering not only your self but their marriage

Its a good intention but a wrong move

Find someone else to employ at your coy to avoid troubles

Do not provide financial assistance secretly because if the hubby finds out, he's not going to take it likely with you. Put yourself in his shoes an ex providing for your wife...

That's devastating bro... U would think something is definately going on with them

Op employ the guy so u don't have to keep dashing them money but if the lady keeps on with the dirty talk sack him and stop all pay dash, because it means she still won't respect him employed or not

itsmelex: Please in the name of whatever God you pray to,call him and give him the job.But also let him know about what you both had back then but you really love to help out as she chose him.Make him appear ok and please tell him he can be on it till he gets something else.
I guess it is about the friendship right,pls keep respecting her home but dnt also make him feel she asked you.Relate with him man to man,he'll feel ok trust me and since you have some sense of reason this will help keep you incheck that she is taken

The highlighted will be a big mistake cos ome men can´t handle that. Give him the job but u don´t have to go to details on how u got to know his wife. U can just say u guys briefly dated and it ended well and u are not seeking a rematch and that u just want to help his family, pls say nothing more...
Also please keep a very big distance from that lady cos she will put u in trouble. U can employ the husband but stay away from that lady.

dinachi: @ OP sorry I may have to sound blunt. I think you want to sleep with your married ex. How can you continue to allow a married woman to be talking dirty to you? When did you decide to employ the husband before or after the dirty talk and the promise of carrying your baby? Some men are very wicked and heartless. Do you think every condition is permanent? May the almighty help that man to get a job and divorce that woman, she is not worthy to be a wife. As far as I am concerned, she is already cheating. It all starts from the mind and you aided and are aiding it. get out of here with your hipocritical help and may your wife talk dirty to another man and promise to carry another man's baby secretly. Lets see whether you will accept a job from such a man. You are not trying to be good, you are just trying to justify your wanting and possibly sleeping with another man's wife. I wish you are close so i could land you a well deserved punch in the face!

I expected some pervert to come up with this stupid assumption and gladly you didn't dissapoint! For your information if you are the kind of person who lends out a helping hand only for what he can get, then sorry am NOT like you, I do it out of the blessings I've received and to make it multiply!

At the momment I am way above in exposure, class and level of my ex and NO I am not interested in sleeping with her nor did I encourage her dirty talks, most of which I asume were expensive jokes which I frowned at in the chats!
I even discussed with my woman about this before I brought it to NL and she agreed I employed him as she believed her tactics were due to desperation, however I came here because I am sure to meet people with some experience who can give a better advice not silly insults.

So dinachi or whatever you call yourself keep your insult, curses and silly responses to yourself and if you desperately need to show your agbero punching skills I suggest u go to a motor park where ur ilk abound.

Thanks everyone else for your valuable advice its much appreciated.

dinachi: @ OP sorry I may have to sound blunt. I think you want to sleep with your married ex. How can you continue to allow a married woman to be talking dirty to you? When did you decide to employ the husband before or after the dirty talk and the promise of carrying your baby? Some men are very wicked and heartless. Do you think every condition is permanent? May the almighty help that man to get a job and divorce that woman, she is not worthy to be a wife. As far as I am concerned, she is already cheating. It all starts from the mind and you aided and are aiding it. get out of here with your hipocritical help and may your wife talk dirty to another man and promise to carry another man's baby secretly. Lets see whether you will accept a job from such a man. You are not trying to be good, you are just trying to justify your wanting and possibly sleeping with another man's wife. I wish you are close so i could land you a well deserved punch in the face!

My sentiments exactly.

@OP, why can't you just mind your damn business? Must you involve the poor man in your shenanigans with the wife?

@OP, if you're going to offer the man the job, then do so purely on merit and capabilities. Do it only because he is the best qualified applicant for the job and no other reason.

As per your ex, she sounds radical so you might need to adopt a radical approach to keep her at bay. Let her know that as a responsible married man who holds his marriage sacred, you aren't interested and that one more of such texts from her - you'll get your wife to speak to her husband about it.

Trust me, that should help the message sink in (hopefully it won't get to that but would be enough to make her backoff).

swiftycool:

I expected some pervert to come up with this stupid assumption and gladly you didn't dissapoint! For your information if you are the kind of person who lends out a helping hand only for what he can get, then sorry am NOT like you, I do it out of the blessings I've received and to make it multiply!

At the momment I am way above in exposure, class and level of my ex and NO I am not interested in sleeping with her nor did I encourage her dirty talks, most of which I asume were expensive jokes which I frowned at in the chats!
I even discussed with my woman about this before I brought it to NL and she agreed I employed him as she believed her tactics were due to desperation, however I came here because I am sure to meet people with some experience who can give a better advice not silly insults.

So dinachi or whatever you call yourself keep your insult, curses and silly responses to yourself and if you desperately need to show your agbero punching skills I suggest u go to a motor park where ur ilk abound.

Thanks everyone else for your valuable advice its much appreciated.

Now you see lame explanations.......
I will not justify foolery. Just as I will not take that kind of Bull crap from any ex married or unmarried so also I will expect my fellow man to hold his head high and protect another man's family. You permit your ex to disrespect her husband, you permit her to talk dirty to you, you permit her to fantasize about having your baby secretly.YOU ARE A VERY WICKED FELLOW! My hand is still waiting to find you jaw. Men like you seduce married women away from their husbands with cash gifts. WHY ARE YOU GIVING HER MONEY SECRETLY? WHY? WHY? WHY? Where did you people meet and hand over the cash, in a hotel room perhaps? Don't let me catch you! YOU ARE GIVING A MARRIED WOMAN CASH GIFTS SECRETLY AS A PRELUDE TO HAVING HER BABY FOR YOU ABI. You are thick!

What if she lied about her hubby's jobless state. I have seen it happen before, my friend called up her ex claiming that her hubby abandoned her with pregnancy and left the country ,the ex was sending her money for upkeep while she lives happily with her hubby.i had to tactfully cut her off from my life.listen to what Baby123 said,they ll survive, with or without you.

baby_123: Please keep away from such an ex and her family. This lady will get you in trouble. Her husband is a man, let him find solution to his problems. I dont think things will go down well if he eventually finds out about the history between you two given wifeys tendencies. You can recommend him for a job in someone else's company, but not yours. Before she found you, they were surviving. So when you leave they will either survive or part ways. That shouldnt be your business or problem.

You got it spot on.

@op, delete her from both bbm and Facebook as well as all form of communications. It's obvious she still have funny feelings for you. As per offering her husband a job. Answer this question ; will you comfortably accept a job offer from your wife's ex, and how will you feel when you find out that your wife still chats dirty with the so called ex who happens to be your employer?

Note: You can never be just friend with someone you once have genuine feelings for. Turn your wheels ASAP!

I won't either

swiftycool:

Men and pride you say lol! Just curious,@Bootylicious; would you be willing as a lady to take a job working under a lady who was your hubby's ex especially if u needed one so desperately?

dinachi:

Now you see lame explanations.......
I will not justify foolery. Just as I will not take that kind of Bull crap from any ex married or unmarried so also I will expect my fellow man to hold his head high and protect another man's family. You permit your ex to disrespect her husband, you permit her to talk dirty to you, you permit her to fantasize about having your baby secretly.YOU ARE A VERY WICKED FELLOW! My hand is still waiting to find you jaw. Men like you seduce married women away from their husbands with cash gifts. WHY ARE YOU GIVING HER MONEY SECRETLY? WHY? WHY? WHY? Where did you people meet and hand over the cash, in a hotel room perhaps? Don't let me catch you! YOU ARE GIVING A MARRIED WOMAN CASH GIFTS SECRETLY AS A PRELUDE TO HAVING HER BABY FOR YOU ABI. You are thick!

OP: In all honesty, i understand why Dinachi is angry with you. Please u are playing with fire. Imagine for a second the husband sees your conversations with his wife. Would he think you are innocent? What if he hires assassins to ride okada to your car and shoot you? It is too risky. A scorned, jobless man can massage his ego by doing something drastic to you and your family.

Atimes wahala go sit e own jeje, we go go look for am. Cut off from her and her family.