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The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches - Religion - Nairaland

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The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 4:27pm On Dec 21, 2013
As I type this right now I am literally boiling with Anger. Imagine! I and my partner went to see the pastor today regarding our marriage plans and we met his absence. I decided to check the church office and behold I met his wife. The following conversation ensued between us

Me- Goodafternoon ma

Pastor's wife- Goodafternoon

Me- Ma, please is pastor around? He asked me and my fiance to see him today

Pastor's wife- which pastor?

Me- pastor abcd(i mentioned his name)

Pastor's wife- turned back stirred at me and shook her head then she said " I would have thought you were referring to someone else, how can you call my husband pastor abcd(his name) this is highly disrespectful. Bla Bla Bla Bla she went on and on about her displeasure.

Me- I am sorry ma, I summoned my fiance and we left.

Is it wrong for one to refer to his pastor as pastor abcd(his name) For christ sakes where in the bible was it written that we need to address our pastors as mummy and daddy?

By the way, the man in question would not have minded if I addressed him as pastor abcd o but his wife tongue lashed me even in his absence never to call him that again except daddy.

12 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by tpia5: 4:33pm On Dec 21, 2013
find another church to attend if you are annoyed.

and stop generalizing, thanks.

how old is the pastor in question? In some cultures [eg yoruba], you are expected to show respect if people are 30+ years your senior.

In any case, address people the way they want to be addressed.

33 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Adeoba10(m): 4:45pm On Dec 21, 2013
Nxt time, jux say ''Is daddy wa around?''

2 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 4:50pm On Dec 21, 2013
Tpia@ This woman who invited you here? I see you all over people"s threads on Nairaland making noise and constituting a nuisance all the time. That thing you are spewing out of your mouth is unsolicited right here, go find some other thread to derail.

While you are at it, stay clear my path.

191 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by fijiano202(m): 4:51pm On Dec 21, 2013
Am disappointed in you,i would have expected you to ask if pastor abcd has change his name to Pastor Daddy,i can call any pastor any name i like or want it may be Mr,Daddy or pastor abcd,i will never call a pastor wife mummy,i always refer to them as pastor wife but if she insulted me the way she insulted you i would honestly call her by her full name without any respect included

59 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by fijiano202(m): 4:56pm On Dec 21, 2013
tpia@:
find another church to attend if you are annoyed.
and stop generalizing, thanks.
how old is the pastor in question? In some cultures [eg yoruba], you are expected to show respect if people are 30+ years your senior.
In any case, address people the way they want to be addressed.
you are even female- when you start having problems with your fiance/husband, it is these same pastors you'll call to come and put mouth, not remembering how you abused them before.
madam thats kinda harsh,she was just pouring out her heart,you dont have to give that kinda advice or are u jealous she went with her fiancee? God will provide ur own soon

169 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 5:09pm On Dec 21, 2013
fijiano202: Am disappointed in you,i would have expected you to ask if pastor abcd has change his name to Pastor Daddy,i can call any pastor any name i like or want it may be Mr,Daddy or pastor abcd,i will never call a pastor wife mummy,i always refer to them as pastor wife but if she insulted me the way she insulted you i would honestly call her by her full name without any respect included

I asked myself the same question after I left. In all honesty I could not say much to her out of respect but @least it is expected that people of God should humble themselves so the Lord will lift them up.

An elderly woman that was present there actually reminded the pastor"s wife that our former pastor that just left is usually addressed that way so the congregation are used to saying pastor abc but madam insisted it was still wrong. I had no choice than to tender a "reserved" apology

4 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 5:21pm On Dec 21, 2013
Calling them "Daddy and Mummy" is not an obligation,its just a sign of respect,but the way she (your pastor's wife) addressed the issue was wrong...ThankGod it has been stopped in my church..Cos pride was "killing" some of them..

5 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by cbrass(m): 5:26pm On Dec 21, 2013
From my own part its not even mandatory to call your pastors any special name but courtesy demands that you give honour to whom honor is due.

Assuming the pastor was your own father and you wish to see him what will you say??

But if the pastor was around your age and he still insists you call him dad...then something is wrong with him
However since it was his wife that complained and not him, its no issue at all cos that's how many of you ladies behave- you act and talk without deep thought

11 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 6:01pm On Dec 21, 2013
Nigerians and their way of worshipping Pastors. Chai! Una too get wahala. So calling somebody Daddy or mummy will take u to the kingdom of God ba? oooh. Emancipate yourselves from Man made fanatical slavery!!!! so there are not other ways to show respect other than this daddy mummy thing?? @Op Abeg do whatever suits u. If u aint comfortable with it, dnt force it. sad sad sad No wonder men of God these days walk around like politicians. SMH.

46 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Emmyk(m): 6:15pm On Dec 21, 2013
Adeoba10: Nxt time, jux say ''Is daddy wa around?''
cheesycheesy . I hope the woman will not scatter her husband's ministry.

5 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Woged2005(f): 6:17pm On Dec 21, 2013
It's Ok to respect people. However, respect is earned and not forced on people. My Rev Fr once said "if someone have to remind you he is a Christian, he's probably not, because Christianity is seen in your style of living. Like a lamp, you cannot light it and put it under the table. It shows people the way to life"

At no point in life should someone give up power over him/herself to someone else be it a Governor, pastor, or bishop. You can only have respect for the position they occupy. Over the years human beings have shown they are untrustworthy, selfish and unreliable. Most couple who allowed pastors to meddle in their marriage are divorced today. Start now to avoid that. The next thing they tell you you must 'Obey your Daddy and Mummy'. He is not your 'Daddy', he is your pastor. Period!

38 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by tpia5: 6:22pm On Dec 21, 2013
specialguest: Tpia@ This woman who invited you here? I see you all over people"s threads on Nairaland making noise and constituting a nuisance all the time. That thing you are spewing out of your mouth is unsolicited right here, go find some other thread to derail.

While you are at it, stay clear my path.

Madam, save your issues and nasty character for your so-called fiance, thanks.

I just went through your posts and discovered you have a witch nature, good for you.

Your thread is nothing more than the usual satanic attacks on christians and christianity, like I said, if you are not happy with your pastor or his wife, find somewhere else t go or sit your cranky behind at home, na by force? Just thank seun for giving you a mouth.

12 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by tpia5: 6:27pm On Dec 21, 2013
specialguest: As I type this right now I am literally boiling with Anger.

Save your anger for your future hubby dear, he's the one who will be in your vicinity.

Oshi pelu iranu.

4 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 6:52pm On Dec 21, 2013
tpia@:


Madam, save your issues and nasty character for your so-called fiance, thanks.

I just went through your posts and discovered you have a witch nature, good for you.

Your thread is nothing more than the usual satanic attacks on christians and christianity, like I said, if you are not happy with your pastor or his wife, find somewhere else t go or sit your cranky behind at home, na by force? Just thank seun for giving you a mouth.

Thsseeeeeew! Look who is talking? Stop stalking me I don't relate well with spam bots.

I wonder who allows this woman troll everywhere with her useless rants.

Market woman must you always find faults in people"s threads? Or you think you own a big fat dirty mouth that can churn out dozens of abuse per second. I don't want you pissing on my threads anymore go find your play mates else where.

I pray for the Grace not to respond to your crap anymore.

129 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by tpia5: 6:53pm On Dec 21, 2013
tpia@:


Save your anger for your future hubby dear, he's the one who will be in your vicinity.

Oshi pelu iranu.
Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 7:10pm On Dec 21, 2013
Woged2005: It's Ok to respect people. However, respect is earned and not forced on people. My Rev Fr once said "if someone have to remind you he is a Christian, he's probably not, because Christianity is seen in your style of living. Like a lamp, you cannot light it and put it under the table. It shows people the way to life"

At no point in life should someone give up power over him/herself to someone else be it a Governor, pastor, or bishop. You can only have respect for the position they occupy. Over the years human beings have shown they are untrustworthy, selfish and unreliable. Most couple who allowed pastors to meddle in their marriage are divorced today. Start now to avoid that. The next thing they tell you you must 'Obey your Daddy and Mummy'. He is not your 'Daddy', he is your pastor. Period!

Thank you woged2005, sophierocks, cybrass, emmyk, titiluvly and fijiano202 for you well articulated opinion on this matter and offcourse adeoba10 for making me laugh.

Like I always say, we Africans like to take things to the extreme. I doubt if this mummy daddy thing in some of our churches exist in other continents. Respect must be given to those in higher authority as you rightly said but the manner of presentation should be at an individual"s discretion.

8 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Mamacita007(f): 7:27pm On Dec 21, 2013
Looooool maybe you looked so beautiful so she wanna protect her husband. if i were u, i will stay there & see that pastor daddy g.o. let her go & die if she wants to looool

2 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by specialguest(f): 7:53pm On Dec 21, 2013
Mamacita007: Looooool maybe you looked so beautiful so she wanna protect her husband. if i were u, i will stay there & see that pastor daddy g.o. let her go & die if she wants to looool

cheesy great sense of humour! Hahahaha thank God tomorrow is Sunday, we will see again. I just hope she is not a nairalander o, before I will hear sermon about girls of these days grin

2 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Winneygirl(f): 9:00pm On Dec 21, 2013
specialguest: As I type this right now I am literally boiling with Anger. Imagine! I and my partner went to see the pastor today regarding our marriage plans and we met his absence.
If I were U, I'd leave the message with 'his absence.'

20 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by nenergy(m): 9:41pm On Dec 21, 2013
The saviour of the world was called a mere 'teacher'. That pastor's, sorry daddy's wife is not saved yet. They scream Jesus' name without adding title, yet they heap titles on themselves. Only God can judge them!

30 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by soulglo: 9:47pm On Dec 21, 2013
Adeoba10: Nxt time, jux say ''Is daddy wa around?''

Daddy who? For what? The idea of calling another man "daddy" besides the man who fathered and made the sacrifices he made for me is beyond what I can imagine. Especially when they feel they can impose it on you. I even it find disrespectful to my father. Who the hell is he to want to be called "daddy" by someone who just happens to go to the church he pastors. If someone over time forms a bond with this man and sees him as a father figure then he or she can choose on their own to refer to the person as daddy. The humility part of the scriptures just fly over these so called Christian's head. Typical Nigerian mentality. Lets just give people rewards that they did not earn. People are not appointing themselves as daddies and mommies to other people LOL. Ridiculous.

13 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by cynhamscakes(f): 9:56pm On Dec 21, 2013
The Pastor's wife has no right to instruct you to call her husband daddy. So because someone is older than you, that automatically gives them the daddy title?

Anyway to each their own.

6 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by EfemenaXY: 10:00pm On Dec 21, 2013
soul_glo:

Daddy who? For what? The idea of calling another man "daddy" besides the man who fathered and made the sacrifices he made for me is beyond what I can imagine. Especially when they feel they can impose it on you. I even it find disrespectful to my father. Who the hell is he to want to be called "daddy" by someone who just happens to go to the church he pastors. If someone over time forms a bond with this man and sees him as a father figure then he or she can choose on their own to refer to the person as daddy. The humility part of the scriptures just fly over these so called Christian's head. Typical Nigerian mentality. Lets just give people rewards that they did not earn. People are not appointing themselves as daddies and mommies to other people LOL. Ridiculous.

You deserve a e hi-5 for this! Couldn't have put it any better. kiss kiss

In summary, it's all about forced servitude and making gullible weak people cower before them. I will never call such people mummy or daddy.

What arrant nonesense!

17 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 10:05pm On Dec 21, 2013
Unnecessary Familiarity undecided in the house of God.
Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by ketoprofen(m): 10:42pm On Dec 21, 2013
tpia@:
find another church to attend if you are annoyed.

and stop generalizing, thanks.

how old is the pastor in question? In some cultures [eg yoruba], you are expected to show respect if people are 30+ years your senior.

In any case, address people the way they want to be addressed.

you are even female- when you start having problems with your fiance/husband, it is these same pastors you'll call to come and put mouth, not remembering how you abused them before.

so in Yoruba culture, saying pastor abcd is not enuf?
@op, the pastors wife goofed.
Y can't they follow the lives of Paul, who preached this same gospel without strings aytached.?

1 Like

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 10:51pm On Dec 21, 2013
tpia@:
find another church to attend if you are annoyed.

and stop generalizing, thanks.

how old is the pastor in question? In some cultures [eg yoruba], you are expected to show respect if people are 30+ years your senior.

In any case, address people the way they want to be addressed.

you are even female- when you start having problems with your fiance/husband, it is these same pastors you'll call to come and put mouth, not remembering how you abused them before.
for goodness sakes what is all this.what if shes not a regular member of that church and she doesnt know how things run there and by the way what is wrong in calling someone pastor bayo,pastor ade etc.the op's reaction was the best.all this unncecessary cultures people bring to church is annoying and by the way is that how a pastors wife is supposed to behave.even if she wants to correct her,must she lash out at her.whats wrong in saying sister seyi,in this place,we call our pastor daddy shina or daddy kola,we dont call him pastor.that is soo rude of a pastors wife.

Forget whatever happens after marriage,the pastors wife is supposed to be friendly and hospitable to her husbands church members,those are the characteristics of a pastors wife in the first place.


Though i dont know the church she went,but in all the churches i have attended,the pastors wifes i have come across are always very sweet,welcoming,friendly and respectful.they dont carry arrogance around.thats thrash na.smh

13 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 10:56pm On Dec 21, 2013
ketoprofen:

so in Yoruba culture, saying pastor abcd is not enuf?
@op, the pastors wife goofed.
Y can't they follow the lives of Paul, who preached this same gospel without strings aytached.?
abi o.they call pastors wife mother in israel.she is usually a model to women and young ladies in that church.her responsibilities are beyond being a wife to her husband.she is supposed to be a mother,friend,sister,encourager,teacher and counsellor in love to women and ladies.she is supposed to teach love,grace and humility through her conduct because whether she knows it or not,the women in her church are seeing her as a model.i dont understand what is it withsome nigerians that when they see some power,they expect others to be kissing their a's-es.smh

2 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 10:58pm On Dec 21, 2013
Efemena_xy:

You deserve a e hi-5 for this! Couldn't have put it any better. kiss kiss

In summary, it's all about forced servitude and making gullible weak people cower before them. I will never call such people mummy or daddy.

What arrant nonesense!

abi.you can imagine.thats how some so called pastors wives will use their behaviour to chase away genuine christians from church and christianity.mshewwww.pastors wife my foot

1 Like

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by bluuu: 11:19pm On Dec 21, 2013
we dont call God daddy God or call Jesus brother Jesus yet,he is never angry at us.so y call mortals/God's instrument daddy.daddy ko big daddy ni

3 Likes

Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 11:24pm On Dec 21, 2013
soul_glo:

Daddy who? For what? The idea of calling another man "daddy" besides the man who fathered and made the sacrifices he made for me is beyond what I can imagine. Especially when they feel they can impose it on you. I even it find disrespectful to my father. Who the hell is he to want to be called "daddy" by someone who just happens to go to the church he pastors. If someone over time forms a bond with this man and sees him as a father figure then he or she can choose on their own to refer to the person as daddy. The humility part of the scriptures just fly over these so called Christian's head. Typical Nigerian mentality. Lets just give people rewards that they did not earn. People are not appointing themselves as daddies and mommies to other people LOL. Ridiculous.
Soul glow don fex! cheesy
I think this mindset extends to other pple also, not just pastors
One elderly man that came to my house to work was asking me about my daddy.
Lol!
I was like how did he knew my dad.
Asked which daddy and he said my husband.
Was I shocked, yes.
To some pple, its normal while to some its just weird. Church or no church.
Any one u r comfy with, carry go! kiss
Re: The 'Daddy-Mummy Syndrome' In Nigerian Churches by Nobody: 11:34pm On Dec 21, 2013
Efemena_xy:

You deserve a e hi-5 for this! Couldn't have put it any better. kiss kiss

In summary, it's all about forced servitude and making gullible weak people cower before them. I will never call such people mummy or daddy.
What arrant nonesense!
Oh, everybody de fex here o!
Efe, even u? tongue
Be still my pple.
Anger is from the devil tongue kiss

2 Likes

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