********************** The INBOX *********************

I'm sorry to bother you but this will be long. This is the past 5 years of my life i'm trying so hard not to remember. I'm not new to life experiences, i've heard and seen a lot of relationship troubles.

I've counselled many ladies like me but why i fell for this still remains a misery. Please don't blame me, i'm in pain already. I've asked myself so many questions i still can't answer, i've tried to forgive and move on but i couldn't.

If for just once, i've decided to listen to my dark side. Pls, don't bother how suspicious this account may look, it's the same account i used in finding out the whole truth from the unlucky lady.

I met this guy august 2008 at the wedding of my boss and after about 6 months of trying to be difficult, i decided to date him. Before then, I've had my share of men's headache and loving him at first wasn't so easy for me that i'd to ignore him for that long. heaven knows how much i loved him. It was all over him that he loved me too, we just couldn't hide it.

We both enjoy the moments and i gave my all to keep us together. I lost my decisions to him, i tried not to wrong him, he was my total desire for a man, and how would i want to lose him? Our first year took a lot out of me. I could remember how badly i missed him when his company sent him to Kenya. He came back and it was like he never left.

That was the night i lost my virginity to him. He knew i wasn't ready for it and he also supported my decision but somehow, we couldn't control our affection though i'm not regreting in any way. I was only overpowered by my emotions, naive and inexperience. Even in the pain, i felt good because it was him i never knew one could get pregnant so fast or maybe my timing was wrong.

Few weeks later, the signs were obvious to me. I told him but to my surprise, his mood changed, he couldn't continue with his meal before he started making me see reasons why keeping the baby would affect our plans. One of the reasons was how irresponsible his father would think he is and could stop his plan of going to the U.K for his masters.

I couldn't say no since i've always wanted the best for him. He gave me 20k which i refused. In one of the sad moment of my life, i called a friend and told her, she contacted someone to help us and finally we got a doctor somewhere in (location withheld) to do the abortion. I did it but for a week, i couldn't go to work. I wasn't alright until after a month. I almost lost my job, i couldn't explain what went wrong but the good part is that i was fine again. We were doing well all along despite the distance.

In 2010 he came back shortly from the U.K and since i was holding on for that long, i've missed him so much. That night saying no to him was not in my head and we had it and many times. It was the best ever and we were cool. He was about going back when i discovered i wasn't myself. I had to call my doctor, made an appointed and i got to know i was pregnant again.

It was a mixed feeling but i called him up immediately and told him. He sounded ok before letting me know that we're not ready for it. Truly, i wasn't ready due to official reasons at work. I thought about it and had to flush it. After his masters, he came to nigeria, introduced me to his parents and we got along so well.

Though he said he wasn't going to work for his former company, he went on to set up his. Everything was cool until i started noticing certain changes in him. He wouldn't pick me from the office as usual, he was more busy that we hadly have time to talk. I thought i was asking too much so i didn't complain. I was with him on a weekend when his phone rang, he was in the bathroom then. I picked the phone to give him since i don't pick his calls.

The caller id was kinda strange, like a combination of some letters. He spoke with the person, my instinct told me it was a lady and when he gave me the phone back, i searched his phone for any sms from that number. I was able to get an email which i put through facebook and that confirmed my doubts. The bastard was engaged to another lady. He was smart not have accepted so as not to be visible on his profile. I was lost, i wanted to die right there.

I quickly opened another account and i made friend with the lady. We were so close and we talked more, within 3weeks we were like best of friends. I asked about my man and she opened up so much that my body became weak. I got to know they would be getting married from her. I never asked for a life like this. Why are men so evil? To make it worse, i was pregnant for him again. I couldn't hold it, i confronted him, my chris was right before me looking like an idiot.

I only wish i had a gun, it would have ended right there. I knew there wasn't hope of a father for the baby, i never wanted to be single mom so i ran to his parents but his mother’s reception was so cold that i suspected something was wrong. I went back home. I cried my eyes out, nothing could be more painful in the world than my feelings.

I told myself i was going to face it, i left my parents out of this mess. I badge into his house the next morning around 7am, told him i was carrying his child and that i was going to abort it. He was just looking at me and later starting apologizing. I was so mad that i had to throw his home stool at him, he was so quick to dodge it. I wish i had killed him.

I went back to his mother and she shouted at me, she said her son will never marry me. My head flew off but i never talked back, i was calm to ask her reason. I got to realise that he had told his mother about the abortions and how it was only me that took the decision. In my life i have never been this terrible knowing how well he convinced his mom to hating me. Now i have aborted the thing, it doesn't make any sense keeping it.

I'm only asking you for advice if there is a better way to end this because i already have his wedding date later this month and sincerely i had contracted his death. Please keep this to yourself as i'm only seeking a better ending but not pleading for his death. I know i look so wasted and useless right now but he’s never going to enjoy any moment of his life, that i promise.

************************* ENDS ************************

There's no way i would have kept this barbaric life experience and at the same time allow someone's death. I saw urgency in her story; i saw a lady who could take any decision regardless of the damage. I've spoken with her on phone and she seem alright. I made her realize how there's no better ending that she seeks in the death of the young man. What i don't know is if she has truly changed her mind. I still don't have any details but this might be a warning to someone out there that's why i couldn't hide the name. I usually don't do this! It's without permission, at least, not when a life is at stake. Please advice her and that could save a life! I will make sure i refer her to this post to read your comments.

SOURCE https://www.facebook.com/SingleDatingEngagedMarried

Original Blog http://www.coachdexplorer.com/2013/12/e-mails-after-aborting-3-times-for-him.html

What happened to her knowledge of birth control? What was she thinking?

Hmmm

Hmmm. This is indeed a sad experience for a faithful woman(I guess).

The deed has been done but taking his life is like putting her family and her life at risk. Life goes on. Its not that she cant have babies again. YES! Its not as easy as I say it but thats the best option

shit happens.... its normal 4 her to want to kill him...... but to what end?? and she will regret it if she does.
if it don't kill you, it makes you stronger..... tho thats easy to say.

since abortion is involved, I can't really say anything.
3
murdered case

1st time....
2nd time...
3rd time....

She no get sense?

Hmmmm!!! ....rily sad...ma one cent, jst leave him, wot will kill him is nt far from him n d pson dat will deal with him is watching him closely ....sinz he feels he cn lie, there r worst ways to tarnish a psonz image....put urself togeda....

Kinni big-deal?

I don't really have much 2 say,cus u've actually help him achieve his motives by committing abortions....U jst have 2 let go,anytin u do from now on will definitely Hurt u more....I'll Advice u let God judge.....

I couldn't read the mass of unedited text, but based on the title alone. . .

She did NOT commit those alleged abortions for him, she did it out of her own freewill. She wasn't forced at gun point to commit an abortion, the blame rests squarely with her alone. She is a matured adult responsible for her own decisions, the worst kind of people are those who commit evil acts and shift the responsibility to someone else.

She deserves no pity whatsoever.

She is psychologically and emotionally disturbed,no doubt. But killing him won't solve the equation. She has committed 3 abortions already and is thinking of killing another person? It shouldn't be so. I know how she feel. It's painful to be treated this way. She just have to let go and move on.

A beg na which day be Christmas I wan buy something for my gf

Hmmmm.....this really is a pathetic case. I hope she finds peace within herself soon. But for the main time she should try hard to put the past behind her, let the guy be, God of course is a rewarder of ever man, according to their deeds, both good and evil. She really needs to pick the pieces of her life together now. And most especially, she needs God to grant her internal peace to keep her going in life. God indeed can get rid of that ''useless'' feeling she has abut herself and make her that special woman once again.

@ claremont...pls, dnt be a fool.Read in between d lines.Merry xmas to u

na true tory be dis?

Too bad, it is only God dat can console her! But sincerely I do say sumthing, pregnancy is a choice. Science has tried, if u 4got 2 use a condom, postinor is dere, all dese abortn nonsense irritates me cos I don't see d need 4 it.

Nywys, as 4 d guy, he has just seen d most turbulent part of his life. I have a neighbour who put a girl thru dis, 2wks after his wedd, he lost his job, till 2moro he keeps running 4rm pillar 2 post. He has been duped several times&wen he travelled he was deported. He runs 4rm church 2 church yet no avail. He is a shadow of himself, d irony of it is he has 2kids&d wife has no job.

Men pls be careful!

Men Tho...

A chill just went thru my veins.

Before I comment, let me first address claremont.

@Claremont, you may feel you have spoken wisely but let it be known to you that the world moves around in circle. Nobody likes to be used or fooled, except you want to tell me that you have never been fooled before. I also pray it does not happen to your sister or daughter.

It is surprising that you guys do not see the genuinty of this woman's love, something that is REALLY hard to find in the world today.

Pathetically, people do not see the need to feel any concerned and take a feather of wisdom from it. This is a monster staring us in the face; this is how they are born. A supposely loving, caring, understanding, compassionate being can become a monster within a split of seconds; we are all born devils since the days that Adam and Eve were tempted, we just learn to manage the devil within us. So, don't think you have monopoly over evil.

The evil that men do live with them on planet earth and not after.I will give 2 instances:

As kid less than 10 years-old (the brain of child is like a camera) I can still remember vividly what an uncle did. This dude came from the US and started dating a lady. She really loved him and it was written all over her such that on my little sister's birthday, she bathed a birthday card with kisses for my sister and she treated her like her daughter.

She took in for him 3 good times and it was in this case I knew that some people were their own abortionist. When she told him she is pregnant, he would look for the slightest provocative medium to beat her until she lost the child. Eventually, he didn't marry her and they went their seperate ways.

Several years later when he decided to get married, could he? He married first and then came problems with the woman in question and he divorced her with one kid in the middle in the US.

He came to Nigeria after some years to get married. The marriage was pretty nice and flamboyant. He took the new wife to the US and then came another problem as he later found out that she had lied to him about not having any child. She also caused other problems that saw her being deported and almost had my uncle go through same but for the sake of being a Naija bred nigga, he knew what to do and fled to Canada. He is there now.

He is in Canada now and I learned that he got married last year. The case isn't different from a 46 year old marrying 22-25 year old.

My own elder brother had a beautiful girlfriend that loved him to pieces but he didn't value it. He is paying the price today.

Truth be told, we can ONLY have one person that will love like mad... How we manage it when we find such people is left to us. You may get someone that loves you BUT it wouldn't be like the one who crazily loved you.

The universe is governed by laws and when you break such laws, you face the grave consequences.

I wouldn't blame the woman in the OP for feeling like that... It's is normal, very normal. Her case could only be explained to be finding a way to make the dude feel as much pains as she is feeling. I know that feeling because I have been there and felt same at one time.

But the beauty of it all is that life has a way of dealing with such people. In my case, I used to call her, smile etc. But you know what? She has tasted dicks and got cheated on too.

She visited me at school 2 years ago and on 2 occassions. She saw in my eyes the burning furnace of anger. She knew if I had my way, I would retaliate but something was holding me back and that was GOD himself.

One day(a few months ago, precisely) she told me she was scared of me. I asked her why and she said she has a feeling that I could harm her at anytime. Truth be told, she was right. Who would have thought the same person who called and smiled and laughed could still have such buried in his heart after 3 years?

She just begged and I had no reason not to forgive her because I am not God. Though she had begged in the past, I just had to finally let go.

That's why I said this is a monster staring us in the eyes and we shouldn't wave it off as something ordinary. This is mostly the reason why we read on news media or newspaper cases of acid bathing etc. Do not think that person you are dealing with can not harm you just because he or she being caring and you erroneously assume they are dumb and find the worthy of being fooled.


I will blame the woman for not deciding the direction of the relationship before hand. She should have ASK the dude what his plans were and ladies shouldn't wait for him to say it; be bold enough to ask what plans does your suppose boyfriend have for you. Is it to marry or just boyfriend ish? This is essential and paramount especially when you are already out of school and working.

Above all, she should find a place in her heart to forgive him. I know it is NOT easy, I know it is HARD to forgive, but she has to let go so she could see clearly into the future. The good thing is that she is wiser now.

claremont: I couldn't read the mass of unedited text, but based on the title alone. . .

She did NOT commit those alleged abortions for him, she did it out of her own freewill. She wasn't forced at gun point to commit an abortion, the blame rests squarely with her alone. She is a matured adult responsible for her own decisions, the worst kind of people are those who commit evil acts and shift the responsibility to someone else.

She deserves no pity whatsoever.

she's just desperate.

prettyjo: @ claremont...pls, dnt be a fool.Read in between d lines.Merry xmas to u

@prettyjo......don't make a mess of urself please. Just sit ur flat behind and think for a minute.Her testimony reveals that she wasn't ready for the baby and wanted an abortion.And one thing ladies fail τ̲̅ȍ understand is that once a guy asks ‎u τ̲̅ȍ go for an abortion......he will never marry you.So even if ‎u read between d lines and abort(which I will never support)then break up with him for good.

















But our peanut brain ladies will always go back cos they are soooooo desperate for a man τ̲̅ȍ call hubby.

fyneboi79: @prettyjo......don't make a mess of urself please. Just sit ur flat behind and think for a minute.Her testimony reveals that she wasn't ready for the baby and wanted an abortion.And one thing ladies fail τ̲̅ȍ understand is that once a guy asks ‎u τ̲̅ȍ go for an abortion......he will never marry you.So even if ‎u read between d lines and abort(which I will never support)then break up with him for good.

















But our peanut brain ladies will always go back cos they are soooooo desperate for a man τ̲̅ȍ call hubby.

how is she being desperate? Did you read the OP at all?

claremont: I couldn't read the mass of unedited text, but based on the title alone. . .

She did NOT commit those alleged abortions for him, she did it out of her own freewill. She wasn't forced at gun point to commit an abortion, the blame rests squarely with her alone. She is a matured adult responsible for her own decisions, the worst kind of people are those who commit evil acts and shift the responsibility to someone else.

She deserves no pity whatsoever.

can't you read. Keep blaming the grl. As if,if you saw her you would open that your dirty mouth to say that nonsense to her. In her pain, you may be the one she would kill.

Anger makes us do what we didnt bergain for. Maybe if it was me, i would scatter that marriage. He cant have peace in his life o. Do you know what it means to commit your self to some one? Both of them made the abortion agreement. So why blame her alone.
Scatering that marriage would save the next grl from the fool that calls himself a man,because he is likely to do same to his wife to be and many more grls.

Bt in all, leave it for God

wtf is the girl yapping about? she murdered 3 innocent beings; terminated 3 destinies, yet she expect to go scot free and have a happy fulfilled life? she deserves more than she's gotten.

Now I see that men are WICKED! To all those talking trash about about the woman, put your sister and future daughter in that picture and tell me how you feel.

Stop being selfish for once!

Why are you all blaming only the girl for the abortion? Both agreed to abort the babies and they should also face the consequences.

This is why issues like Acid baths and murders happen. How can you use a woman like that and toss her away only to marry someone else? Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned. Trust me, if the lady kills the guy, she will willingly and happily go to prison and serve what ever sentence she has to. If you have no honourable intentions for a woman, leave her the hell alone.

As usual they are at it again.well i dont feel sorry for either of the 2 parties because with in a matter of time,their judgement will come.apparently the girls own is first,its for certain judgement will be visited on the man.

When ladies refuse to be wise and continue to be bed warmers,thats what keeps happening to them.the women that think getting preggy or aborting for him will make him marry you out of sympathy are on a loooonnngg thing.

I wont even be suprised if the lady he marries is a virgin and he is encouraging her to keep her virginity by abstaining from s3x with her while using you as a booty call or to kill konji

anyway yorubas don talk am.omo tio ba gbon loma para e.issshhh

even my 11 year old neiece knows that s3x,getting pregnant for a man or aborting for him doesnt make him love you more it only reduces your value.

Next please,i am tired of all this stories.who nor know say na men's usual behaviour be that..

If you give them the opportunity to take advantage of you,they will not only take advantage of you,they will also abuse you join.when the bible says GUARD YOUR HEART WITH ALL DELIGENCE,I AM SURE HE WAS REFFERING TO SOME GROUPS OF WOMEN.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Those who abort because of "love lust" are the same as terrorists who kill in the name of their god.