Arranged marriages are very tough to deal with and you have to stand up to you, your parents and give out your rights. You DON'T have to get an arranged marriage but the only reason why you are getting an arranged marriage is because you want to respect your family.

Don't just respect your family, respect you instincts and yourself. Don't let anyone take over you. You have a brain.

Lots of children that are only about 12-16 years old have to go through an arranged marriage. It is ver tough and hard to go through. You have rights and you only marry for love. Remember, love is only the true thing in life. It keeps you living.

Marry someone YOU love. Don't let anyone else get in the way. That is just my opinion. What do you think about an arranged marriage?? How would you feel if this happened to you and you had to make the decision to stand up to your rights our just bare with it?? What would your deicision be to you and your family?

No I don't believe in arranged marriages I think it's wrong but the stories aren't all bad though they currently have a lower divorce rate than non arranged marriages but that may be due to the often simple and obedient nature of the people that are happy to enter these alliances, it does work well for many Asians but I think the more educated and the more so called enlightened you get the harder it becomes, but forcing mere children into such marriages I think is a horrible. There's nothing better to love and be loved no matter how you meet your spouse.

NO! Who the hell is qualified to tell you who to spend the rest of your life with?
Or if you're ready?
Or if they're ready?

Huh you are saying it as if it that easy, well sorry sister there are many young ladies and men out there who are forced to be married or something like that but the question is are you going to fall the victim? or will you prevent it,

As for the topic it is not good to allow forced married because it take two to tangle along before they can become one, Is not just want we think , to come with someone you dont know, different mentality, behaviour and so no, to become one! huh, it is not just easy my friends so let just take our time and see to our best that we choose for ourself and no one to dectate for us,

Have Fun,

Arranged marriage ?? not for me. i reject it. i'm not iyawo sara.

people should maybe have some life experience sometimes before they run their mouths sometimes. Listen i worked with a girl, who became a close friend she was from the Gambia and she had arranged marriage, very well educated, pretty, intelligent,but when the time came to get married she followed her tradition, though living in the Uk. she knew from time that there was a man already chosen by her dad,cousins and uncles like they do over there. When first introduced he seemed alrite to her back then. However you know when you leave what you are used to and see other fresh looking brothers ,you soon forget? anyway its what happened.She met and started dating a guy in London and fell head over heels, so she said and all. Anyway , she went to Gambia on holiday and came back months later married. She hated his guts to start with and she told me she could not stand him. She used to torment this man telling him she did not love him, and  loved someone else (she was a virgin though). she said she used to think he was dumb , cause she was a real bitch to him but, he always used to just smile and say she would love him one day. She would refuse to lie in same bed as him, this carried on until , after a while she called me up and said she had never beeen so happy , he treated her well, and she said to me not to be shocked but , she was falling for him. 3yrs on they are still going good according to her.

Is arrranged marriage right?  , why not? , not just from one friend's tale but from things i have read also. Sometimes the choices we make in this day and age can be so so wrong. It may take another's eyes to see what might better suit one. It works for alot of people.

There are exceptions i know. We can't allow abuse of young girls, or even forced marriages, that i am not for. It is practised nearly every where in the world, more so in some continents. PPL DONT CONFUSE 'FORCED AND ARRANGED MARRIAGES'.

There are pros and cons , but to answer whether it is right or wrong will be, unfair. For some it works , i can appreciate the idea behind it totally. If you were to ask ''will i do it''? I'll say No, my character will not allow for it. I asked My friend why she didnt just go with the London boy she said  no i can't. i agreed to this before i left Gambia and it is my tradition. Now what can you say to that? 



P.s  Uche 1
My openning statement was not an attack on you by the way

It's wrong men. Totally wrong. No one can choose my husband for me because I'm the one that's going to live with him for the rest of my life, not the 'choosers/arrangers'. This is a major decision that should be down to personal choice.

We need to definie the term "arranged marriage". Can a mother no longer [b]suggest [/b]a suitor to her daughter?

Arranged marriage is wrong when you are arranged with an ajepako G uy/girl whose got all her family depending on her or depending on the intended g uy/girl, its not bad when arranged with a royal home or bill gates first daughter or son where u have to live on a million dollar

What is arranged marriage? And what is forced marriage?

Before you go for or against arranged marriage ask your self what is it all about? I am not the author of this "arranged marriage" but if I should be allowed to give my own definition of "arranged marriage" I will say it is a marriage that came to be as a result of another person who acts as a middle man. A marriage where someone brought the couple together and talk to them to marry each other. If I am correct in this then where do you belong? Will you go against it or for it.

If we should be sincere to ourself especially the girls. They do not agree to go out with any man at the first time of meeting, it require alot of sending of cards, flowers, gifts and (thank God for GSM) making of calls. Most of the time, it will require the girls best friend talking to her, just for two of you to be friends.

If it require someone to intervene between a girl and a boy to become freind, what is wrong if someone arrange a meeting between people that want to marry. The arrangement by that person is to create a platform for the people to meet. And personally I do not see anything wrong in that. The arrangement or bringing together of two people to get marraige does not mean that they must marry. It is only if they love each other and probably agree to that.

Who will tell me that he or she have not seen someone and admire the person and even gone to the extent of telling someone to bring you and that person together. What is the difference between someone introducing you to a handsome guy who admires you and want to marry you and the so called arranged marriage.

If you are talking of someone forcing a man or woman to marry someone, then that is a different issue. May be we may call that a forced marriage. Which I do not like at all.

saintchux:

What is arranged marriage? And what is forced marriage?

Before you go for or against arranged marriage ask your self what is it all about? I am not the author of this "arranged marriage" but if I should be allowed to give my own definition of "arranged marriage" I will say it is a marriage that came to be as a result of another person who acts as a middle man. A marriage where someone brought the couple together and talk to them to marry each other. If I am correct in this then where do you belong? Will you go against it or for it.

If we should be sincere to ourself especially the girls. They do not agree to go out with any man at the first time of meeting, it require alot of sending of cards, flowers, gifts and (thank God for GSM) making of calls. Most of the time, it will require the girls best friend talking to her, just for two of you to be friends.

If it require someone to intervene between a girl and a boy to become freind, what is wrong if someone arrange a meeting between people that want to marry. The arrangement by that person is to create a platform for the people to meet. And personally I do not see anything wrong in that. The arrangement or bringing together of two people to get marraige does not mean that they must marry. It is only if they love each other and probably agree to that.

Who will tell me that he or she have not seen someone and admire the person and even gone to the extent of telling someone to bring you and that person together. What is the difference between someone introducing you to a handsome guy who admires you and want to marry you and the so called arranged marriage.

If you are talking of someone forcing a man or woman to marry someone, then that is a different issue. May be we may call that a forced marriage. Which I do not like at all.

I disagree. Introducing people to each other does not qualify for "arranged marriage", this is because the 'introducer'/middleman might not have a marriage motive for introducing the two to each other and does not do more than introduction. "Arrange" in the English context means a pre-planned, organised scheme. That is, the person introduces you to the bachelor/spinster and then goes ahead to persuade you and make plans and schemes to make you marry the person. This is wrong and it is akin to forced marriage.

I as a person didn't support the idea, but if we view it from this angle "the rate of divorce is far higher in western world where you are free to choose your partner than in a place like Indian where there marriages are arranged. I have an Indian female freind, when she came to Nigeria,we talked a lot about this marriage and she told me that" love start and grows as you stay with your partner" i.e the love may not be there initially, though she reasoned with all my counter argument about this, she told me that "apart from the culture stuff of arraged marriage that they (indians) are still faithful and loyal to there spouse than the western world.

Oh well, thank goodness those arranged marriages aern't in my family. Go and get an education and live your own life.

Nope, not right

Arrangee marriages work sometimes, esp if the kids involved cant make up thier own minds,

nope respect got nothing to do with my papa or mama choosing who i marry,abi na them go stay wit am? no way!but thanks i got very loving and understanding parents that can't think of doing such a thing.

ARRANGED MARRIAGES have been going on for centuries, even the english royal family do it. nothing wrong with it, i think there is nothing wrong with it at all, the only thing i dont like is if, it is forced, you can arrange a marriage but forcing someone to go through with it is a no no. i have seen one girl very happy with her marriage arranged atcually 2 girls one is Indian and the other Gambian. they happily married. Anyone can arrange a marriage and sometimes maybe an unbiased mind will do a better job that the person involved. It all boils down to the two ppl, its up to you to make it work

hmmmmmmmm arrange marriage, nobody will ever live my life for me, i plan it the way i want it. ta lo fe fe omo oko

hmmmmmmmm arrange marriage, nobody will ever live my life for me, i plan it the way i want it. ta lo fe fe omo oko

Hell no.

coming from the north there are alot of arranged marriages.
My cousin had an arranged marriage, all he had to do was place an order as i like to put it.

he said he wnated his wife to be tall slim, have a big ass, and have very long hair, preferably fulani.

And that was what he go, a beautiful fulani girl that now has three beautiful kids for him and is living the fabulous life of a KEPT woman.

Never, i cant have arrangee marriage

na wa oh

:-x

@ Topic,

Lets all ask ourself. The name might be old but how is "arranged marriage" different from your friend hooking you up with someone else? I wouldnt kick against it if its my culture because the decision was made by someone else with a clear mind.

You meet someone, you like some feature about that person (eyes, butt, tits, height, etc etc) those things will instantly override your judgement/sanity and there is possibility of throwing caution into the wind. Things happens very quickly, 3 months down the road, girl is pregnant, guy is nowhere to be found and to make matter worse girl found out guy is married with 2 other children outside the wedlock. Now what?

However, if its arranged, its usually by people with your interest at heart, they can judge the 2 people and see if they'll match and go for it. Thats why divorce rate is low. whenever there is a problem, the family steps in. Everybody gets back in line because the family is involved. Rather than go to a therapist and pay $200/hr and talk to someone who knows nothin about u.

You go to dating site and they have something like xteristics match. Well thats what people who arranged marriage will do before they match people. Arranged marriage usually do a better job is not matching people of divergent xter (introvert vs extrovert etc). So when you kick against arrange marriage, but you're more than willing to let your friend set you up when he was drunk at a party or go to dating site and trying to sort out through the maze yourself.

And you call that smart?

if its works out , yea

if its doesnt, no


aftermath counts,

yes a mother can , but that doesn't mean we should have to marry

a guy who submits to an arranged marriage in the 21st century is more of a womans wrapper gbam!

It depends on if the paries involved dont mind it some guys abroad these days send messages to mama to look for a good girl and contact her family on his behalf and if the chic doesnt mind she will accept to be his bride in some arranged marriages the couple are given time to meet and know each other but one cant realy count on that though. The only problem I have is with forced marriages where parents just look for a man and insist on their daughter marrying a total stranger she feels nothing for and she definately doesnt want to marry and vice versa.

Arrangee wedding is not wrong as long as one is not forced into it and the people involved know what they are getting into needs patience and lots of patience to get used to one another's faults.

Unfortunately arranged marriage is here to stay, parents will always choose for their son/daughter. I think its so wrong. We should be able to make our own choice good or bad.

I'm in between they aren't for me and they can work out just fine for some people but I'm not big on anyone getting married under 21.

Sometimes they work, other times, they dont.

Different strokes for different folks.