This is from a book I've been writing. Please read it when u can and tell me what you think. Cheerio!


‘You’d better try harder you think you’re going keep me away from the games’ Said Jinx.

‘I had to try. You know they may not keep their word’ Replied Priest in a drunk voice.

‘Look at it this way, if I die you will be the only one who knows the location of the Esmeralda’

‘You know Jinx, on other days that might have been a consolation, not tonight. If you die there won’t be a worthy adversary on the high seas!’ The man began to sob ‘Ealia!’ He shouted.

Jinx watched as the shabbily woman came with a cask of wine ‘Oh! You know how to take care of me. My brother here wants to die! He’s going to the festival’

‘That is good my love. I could use some fine silk’ she said

‘Wretch!’ He yelled. ‘He’s going there to as a contender. Give me my wine and get out of here’

It never failed to amaze Jinx how his brother could cry in front of his crew and maintain their respect. It would have been impossible for a stranger to believe that the man weeping for his brother is actually Priest, so named by his father, one of the most feared pirates ever to walk the earth. Second only to his brother Jinx.

Perhaps now you can understand why it wasn’t a good idea for Jinx to show up at the Festival. It was too tempting for him not to attend. For long now, Jinx has been search for redemption, then one day he heard a story from the north. The sword has been uncovered, the legendary sword of Morgan, which carried the life of a phoenix . A lot of people will be drawn to the festival this year by the story of the sword. Jinx was one of them.

At the ripe age of thirty three, it wouldn’t have been a good time for Jinx to die or be jailed. His only protection at the games is that no one knows him. Though his name has crossed the high seas and strikes fear into the hearts of sailors none could give a true description of the loathed pirate.

Every description of Jinx had the authorities searching for a grotesque looking man with scars on his face and torso. Highway men when caught spin tales of how they have been in contact with Jinx and offering their help to track and capture him in hopes of salvaging their lives from the executioner. However, Jinx’ real description as I will tell you now is very different. He is a man of good height, about 6 foot six with the build of a man who works hard labour or a knight that rides often. He kept no beard in contrast to the description given of him. He had sandy blond hair which he kept oiled and combed even when at sea. His skin was good looking and unblemished. He is a handsome man that easily attract the attention of both sexes in a gathering.

Though he could be a violent man he has a gently demeanour and carried himself with such grace to make people think him of royal descent. Jinx looked every inch a man of nobility. His attire was made from the finest materials by the best tailors from many nations and he never wore clothes looted from a chase. His demeanour was that of a man born into luxury, which was not far from the truth. Their father called Silleon was a successful pirate, believed to be the best pirate ever to sail the seas. He could navigate the seas in the worse of weathers, could outrun the best ship any king had and catch up with the any vessel a merchant had I his fleet. So life was good and they lived in luxury. Silleon sired only two children namely Murdock known since child hood as Jinx and Hegen know to the world as Priest.

In order to make his children carryon with his legacy Silleon hired a tutor for them to teach them languages and other subjects taught to the children of people of affluence. If education made a man wise then his children would be the best pirates to tread the earth. From the start he realised that Priest had no aptitude for learning, at least not from a tutor.
He encouraged competition between the two children much to the detriment of their mother, who could not speak out in fear of a beating. Once he explained to her “if they’re going to be good pirates then there’s no need for trust between them. One can’t rely on the other it will make them weak.”

When he did give them each a ship to sail, another competition, Jinx found a worthy crew to fill his ship, but late I in the night Priest persuaded them to sail with him. They departed in the cover of darkness. It greatly amused the father that Priest could connive as such.

“Lesson number one Jinx, don’t trust anyone. Not even thy father.”

“It’s a lesson much deserved and learnt father” Saulon laughed at Jinx’ expense through out the day.

At dawn he woke up to find his own ship missing. Only a handful of his crew that would not go along with Jinx and all that he promised were left behind.

“Jero!” Yelled the sturdy man as he ran to the harbour. Finding the man he pulled him by the collar and punched him in the face. Then he saw something on the quay. He trotted there and found a jug containing the remainder of his best wine.

He picked up the jug, sipped the wine and smacked his lips. Then he laughed till he cried.
“Watch out world!” he yelled, standing on the quay. “I have unleashed monsters upon you!” he said gulping his precious wine.

You have to include an excerpt from the beginning of your book, since we don't know your characters.

A book can start from the beginning,the end or the middle.
That is why it is fiction
I'm sure that by the time one reads down,the full characters would have been developed
Good work dearie,but sounds more foreign

@Seun
its just something like a prologue.

SMC:

Like. . .Not

?

@ Ladebi, What is the question mark for?

well it seems a good job only that as someone rightly puts it, it sounds foreign. When you finish hire me to proof read it for you:chukoz76@yahoo.com.

Jinx,
I have read what you have posted.

I like the characters you are developing. But you need to do some research on sea piracy, the locale, the period, etc.

I don't want you to end up like Nollywood screenwriters who write about 19th century Igbo tribes, but you see the characters wearing wax prints recently made in Nigeria.
Or American actors speaking American English in Classical epics like Brad Pitt in Troy.

Your imagination is very good. And having a good imagination is the beginning of all great works.