I am almost in my last 20s, I met this guy who is in is mid 30s. I have known him about 3 months and he calls me all the time but seldomly call him, even sometimes I don't pick his call. The guy is tall and not bad looking at all and has a good job, he stopped calling for awhile, then I called after a week to know how he was doing, then he told me I am unfair cos I don't care about his feelings for me. I was confused because we ve gone for a casual date once and he has never made his intentions known although he has tried so many times for us to meet again but I gave him one excuse to the other.
The thing is am struggling within me cos I really want to give him an opportunity for a relationship and I don't want to be tagged as being 'choosy' but the natural desire for him is not there at all.
Another thing is am trying to make him "just a friend" for now but he said he wants a closer relationship.
If I say yes to him, and all things remain the same and I met someone I have feelings for, what am I going to do then? ( I don't want to have a record of breaking a guy's heart intentionally) and
If I say no to him, he would definitely insist I give him a chance(he is very persistent) and I can't tell him how I truly feels about him
I have been trying to avoid giving him an answer but soon I know I wouldn't be able to avoid it
Please I need some good suggestions on what I should do.

NB; I don't ask or collect things from him except when he sends credit to my phone

You're not just into him

Just tell him exactly how it is. Truth hurts but he'll appreciate your honesty and with time you'll be happy you didn't lie to him.

word

onome710: Just tell him exactly how it is. Truth hurts but he'll appreciate your honesty and with time you'll be happy you didn't lie to him.

when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

mencade5: when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

Perfect .....E.O.D

okay

If u don't want him pls move on and don't contact him anymore. How can u just stay and be planning to "friendzone" a full grown man? That's evil.
Abeg keep off!

mencade5: when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

Who's this guy?? U shall live long. Any other action outside this shows OP is confused. What u don't want u reject immediately. No 2 ways about it. Abi nor b so?

Coldfaya:

Who's this guy?? U shall live long. Any other action outside this shows OP is confused. What u don't want u reject immediately. No 2 ways about it. Abi nor b so?

my brother na sooo. God bless you. Many naija ladies thinks they are smart. Well done sir

RoyalRoy:

Perfect .....E.O.D

boss well done

I'm still trying to understand the chemical reactions that makes a girl fall for a guy. Something I don't think is much present in a guy.

You are over 25, you meet a guy, nice looking with a job and is caring, you say you have no feelings (but you are collecting gifts and recharge cards from him) , then a jerk would come around with sweet talks and you would be drooling to it, after a month of sex, he is tired and moving on to the next victim while you cry "all men are the same".
.
Are we seriously discussing this?

One word for op. Pls dnt marry or date any1 out of pity!!!!!

mencade5: when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

1 Billion likes!

davno: If u don't want him pls move on and don't contact him anymore. How can u just stay and be planning to "friendzone" a full grown man? That's evil.
Abeg keep off!

Another 1 Billion likes

So you noticed too she was setting him up for Friend-zone? Ɨƚa..Ɨƚa..Ɨƚa.. Women! SMH.

The guy sends airtime to you yet you don't deem it fit to call him? that's wicked!

There's a time in a woman's life to play hard to get and to do shakara to a man. There's also a time to be serious in a relationship and the era of shakaraism should stop. Please give him a chance. Who knows if you might be his missing rib.

mencade5: when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

You've said it all. Op, just try and follow what this dude said.

I feel you should not blank him yet sometimes affection builds slowly, go on dates with him get to know him and how you feel when you are with him. Maintain the friendship status so you do not mislead him after all said and done if you still cannot see him as your husband walk away but first open your heart and get to know him.

Next date, babe, give both yourselves a chance him to know you and you to know him.

Dating this guy is a 50/50 thing. But i will advise you give it a try before you rule him out.
My first relationship started more like this, i reluctantly gave it a try and it turned out successful.
Feelings grow though i must warn you that it doesnt work the same way for all. My frnd reluctantly went into hers but it didnt work. I feel it has a lot to do with how lively the person is. And you can't know all this without getting closer.

MizMyColi: Its not advisable to coerce yourself into liking someone. Don't be scared of the ticking biological clock.....all things being equal you'll meet your man soon enough #Word

Are u serious?
Not be scared of ticking biological clock and depreciating market value at 25?
Can you recommend this advice for yourself?

mencade5: when next you meet him tell him no you dobt want him.
If he insists you too insist and say no to him.
If he is adamant you too be adamant and still tell him no.

As for that credit, once he text it to you, please text it back to him that you dont want. If it is credit transfer, transfer it back to him.

As long as you dont like then dont collect anything from him, not this''he sometimes sends credit to me''.

Do this so that you wont waste his time. Afterall you ladies dont like it when men waste your time.

He has tried offering gift or send money but I do refuse, the last time he sent me credit, I told him I didn't want it,he said he was going to feel bad if I reject it that it's goodwill.
I am a woman with a big heart and a conscience, I don't take advantage of anybody especially the good ones.

I am almost in my last 20s,

When a lady specifies her age (sort of) when talking about such issue, then more oft, it means she's becoming subconsciously worried. Also, if she were 25, or 26 even, it'd be "mid 20s"___ don't you think?

laplace12:
Are u serious?
Not be scared of ticking biological clock and depreciating market value at 25?
Can you recommend this advice for yourself?

Coldfaya:

Who's this guy?? U shall live long. Any other action outside this shows OP is confused. What u don't want u reject immediately. No 2 ways about it. Abi nor b so?

Ofcourse I am confused that's why I am here. Reject immediately? Yeah, but that is like judging a book by it's cover that why some say I should give him a chance.

There was one time he called and said why I am prosponing anytime he wants us to see, he said he dreamt I met another guy recently and got engaged. He said he hopes it doesn't happen in reality cos he would feel bad cos he met me first and I didn't give him a chance.

As I said if I say no, just as some say here; I dey do shakara when my biological clock is ticking but I don't want to be with him out of convenience or pity-Never.
And if I give him a try as some Nlers suggested and it all turns out good, he is my missing rib -Perfect but WHAT IF
The what-if that scares me too cos I will feel awful if I hurt him at that point

Thanks @ll for your contributions so far
Chai, it's so hard to decide

If your true wish is not to be with him, just tell him no and move on to other things. What's all the fuss about?

ITbomb: I'm still trying to understand the chemical reactions that makes a girl fall for a guy. Something I don't think is much present in a guy.

You are over 25, you meet a guy, nice looking with a job and is caring, you say you have no feelings (but you are collecting gifts and recharge cards from him) , then a jerk would come around with sweet talks and you would be drooling to it, after a month of sex, he is tired and moving on to the next victim while you cry "all men are the same".
.
Are we seriously discussing this?

you said it my broda.

Enheeeen,so u're mugu me since all dis while....Return all my credit card i sent 2 u kia kiaaaa

[quote author=babystathopoulos]I am almost in my last 20s, I met this guy who is in is mid 30s. I have known him about 3 months and he calls me all the time but seldomly call him, even sometimes I don't pick his call. The guy is tall and not bad looking at all and has a good job, he stopped calling for awhile, then I called after a week to know how he was doing, then he told me I am unfair cos I don't care about his feelings for me. I was confused because we ve gone for a casual date once and he has never made his intentions known although he has tried so many times for us to meet again but I gave him one excuse to the other.
The thing is am struggling within me cos I really want to give him an opportunity for a relationship and I don't want to be tagged as being 'choosy' but the natural desire for him is not there at all.
Another thing is am trying to make him "just a friend" for now but he said he wants a closer relationship.
If I say yes to him, and all things remain the same and I met someone I have feelings for, what am I going to do then? ( I don't want to have a record of breaking a guy's heart intentionally) and
If I say no to him, he would definitely insist I give him a chance(he is very persistent) and I can't tell him how I truly feels about him
I have been trying to avoid giving him an answer but soon I know I wouldn't be able to avoid it
Please I need some good suggestions on what I should do.

NB; I don't ask or collect things from him except when he sends credit to my phone[/quote guys don't like to b friend zoned especially wen they have feelings. If there is no feeling pls take a bow

Them dey do you from village

ERTHAENIGMA: Them dey do you from village

very funny is it bad for her to express herself

babystathopoulos:
He has tried offering gift or send money but I do refuse, the last time he sent me credit, I told him I didn't want it,he said he was going to feel bad if I reject it that it's goodwill.
I am a woman with a big heart and a conscience, I don't take advantage of anybody especially the good ones.

you are a woman with a big heart abi?

soon you will be walking around with a big broken heart, black n blue eyes and a gap tooth smile.

better follow mencade5 s advice

heatmeup: very funny is it bad for her to express herself

the fact that she carry the guy matter come nl shows she feels something for him. She's in a state of denial