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Gender/family Issues And Islam - Islam for Muslims (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by ShehuAba(m): 5:30am On Jul 26, 2014
@sino Jazakumullah Khairan.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by sino(m): 8:39am On Jul 26, 2014
ShehuAba: @sino Jazakumullah Khairan.
Wa iyyakum bro.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by deols(f): 9:12am On Jul 26, 2014
Last warning to thebigurban2

This thread is for Muslim contributors only.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by usermane(m): 11:18am On Jul 28, 2014
Sissie:
but that monogamy is allowed, polygamy isn't compulsory, shes allowed to state it clearly. I know lots of muslim men who are not interested at all in polygyny, i have met more who are not interested in it than those who are

If that simple, i wonder why these issues persist. Monogamy, easier promised than kept. Many prospective monogamists end up in extramarital relations, serial monogamy or polygamy(muslims). The problem is that this polygamy isn't interpreted as detailed in the Book, it is overhyped, over justified and open doors for maneuvring and extorting submission from women.

QURAN 4:3, 127 specifically allow polygamy for the interest of destitute widows with kids(orphans). That is, as a bouyant man capable of maintaining justice with regards to wives and properties of orphans, you may marry a widow with kids to assist them. If you read the Book in its original language and literary context, this is what is mentioned of Polygamy. But as soon as you introduce Bukhari, Ibn Kathir or Hanbal, then you get the mainstream interpretation which encourage getting extra wife for petty reasons like boredom, aging of current wife or marital misunderstandings.

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Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by usermane(m): 11:31am On Jul 28, 2014
Sissie:

My post about alexandria the great is to explain how that times was different than ours, that is why i asked you what was the marriage age bracket over 5 centuries ago?

Either Aisha was 9 or 18 when she married the prophet, i do know one thing she was matured enough for marriage, if she wasn't the marriage won't have taken place and the kuffars of that time would have used it against him.

Even if we were to agree that humans matured that fast a few centuries ago, we are given all indication by this hadith that Aisha was a Child.

Please note the highlighted words below. And read the links i, as well as @onegig presented.


Sahih Bukhari
Narrated 'Aisha: I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my girl friends also used to play with me. When Allah's Apostle used to enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me.
(The playing with the dolls and similar images is forbidden, but it was allowed for 'Aisha at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of puberty) (Fateh-al-Bari page 143, Vol.13) Volume 8, Book 73, Number 151

Its two choices,
A. Believe the hadith and stick with the position that Muhammad married a kid OR
B. Reject the hadith as a fabrication and embrace the reality that Muhammad married a woman.
There is no middle course.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Nobody: 12:08pm On Jul 28, 2014
Sissie:

We don't take oaths, but its allowed to have a prenuptial agreement.

My bad, what I meant to say was vows. Like I......take you......... to be my lawfully wedded husband for better for worse till death us do part. That kind thing.

So like what are your wedding vows.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Sissie(f): 7:47pm On Jul 28, 2014
usermane:

If that simple, i wonder why these issues persist. Monogamy, easier promised than kept. Many prospective monogamists end up in extramarital relations, serial monogamy or polygamy(muslims). The problem is that this polygamy isn't interpreted as detailed in the Book, it is overhyped, over justified and open doors for maneuvring and extorting submission from women.

QURAN 4:3, 127 specifically allow polygamy for the interest of destitute widows with kids(orphans). That is, as a bouyant man capable of maintaining justice with regards to wives and properties of orphans, you may marry a widow with kids to assist them. If you read the Book in its original language and literary context, this is what is mentioned of Polygamy. But as soon as you introduce Bukhari, Ibn Kathir or Hanbal, then you get the mainstream interpretation which encourage getting extra wife for petty reasons like boredom, aging of current wife or marital misunderstandings.

I didnt say it was simple, it is what it is, these issues will always persist, even the simplest of issues persist sometimes.

like i have said earlier on, polygyny has its pros and cons. For whatever reason you give the fact still remains its allowed based on certain conditions.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Sissie(f): 7:55pm On Jul 28, 2014
andromida:

My bad, what I meant to say was vows. Like I......take you......... to be my lawfully wedded husband for better for worse till death us do part. That kind thing.

So like what are your wedding vows.

We do not take vows like that, but couples are allowed to take vows between themselves, we just dont do it openly and publicly.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by sino(m): 8:09pm On Jul 28, 2014
Sissie:

We do not take vows like that, but couples are allowed to take vows between themselves, we just dont do it openly and publicly.

Exactly, in addition, the most important vow is the one sanctioned in the Shariah, which is the trust from Allah placed on the man in regards to his wife, and the rights of the two parties which is always stated by the officiating Imam.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Nobody: 9:57am On Jul 30, 2014
sino:

Exactly, in addition, the most important vow is the one sanctioned in the Shariah, which is the trust from Allah placed on the man in regards to his wife, and the rights of the two parties which is always stated by the officiating Imam.

Yeah its this vow i'd like to know. The one sanctioned in the shariah and stated by the officiating Imam. Can you help out?
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Nobody: 11:11am On Jul 30, 2014
Sissie:

We do not take vows like that, but couples are allowed to take vows between themselves, we just dont do it openly and publicly.

Hmmm so the vows are private and no exchange of vows on the wedding day. Do you exchange rings?
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by PMB007: 9:41am On Jul 31, 2014
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Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by sino(m): 8:58pm On Aug 02, 2014
andromida:

Yeah its this vow i'd like to know. The one sanctioned in the shariah and stated by the officiating Imam. Can you help out?

The vow is the position of trust Allah has placed on both the man and the woman to carry out their responsibilities effectively as they become legally joined together, it is called Al- Amanah in Arabic (it is also used for other situations/relationships such as between parents and offspring, leaders and followers, employer and employee etc.), it is more emphasized on the man in marriage, cos he is meant to be the head of the family. This trust is obligatory, and each individual will be questioned in regards to how s/he fulfilled this trust. Marriage in Islam is a religious duty, a form of worship, whereby you are rewarded for the acts sanctioned therein, and can also be punished if found wanting of such actions...Automatically, as you both go into marriage, you have made and accepted this vow.

In regards to the rights of both husband and wife, stated during the wedding ceremony, and other issues, check out this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/1239870/rights-duties-husband-wife-islam

It should however be noted, that all these rights and responsibilities are expected to be carried out in the atmosphere of love, mercy and partnership as stated in the Holy Qur'an.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 10:04pm On Aug 02, 2014
Hello y'all , I'm not really new, I lost my old password and username thus I stopped posting on nairaland. Jst re-registered. Anyways as an ex-muslim woman I jat want to say that this thread is very informative nd mature. I hope its not destroyed by idiot trolls dat enjoy teasing you guyz.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 10:07pm On Aug 02, 2014
underscrew: Hello y'all , I'm not really new, I lost my old password and username thus I stopped posting on nairaland. Jst re-registered. Anyways as an ex-muslim woman I jat want to say that this thread is very informative nd mature. I hope its not destroyed by idiot trolls dat enjoy teasing you guyz.

So what makes you an ex and not a muslim.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by baba11(m): 10:23pm On Aug 02, 2014
tbaba1234:

So what makes you an ex and not a muslim.

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 10:28pm On Aug 02, 2014
so manyyyyyyy things. Its not a big deal tho. and I dont hate muslims nor even islam for the matter. I jst dont have religious beliefs.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 10:35pm On Aug 02, 2014
underscrew: so manyyyyyyy things. Its not a big deal tho. and I dont hate muslims nor even islam for the matter. I jst dont have religious beliefs.

And this is a good medium to address these many things.

We can also talk about why you should have religious beliefs.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 10:44pm On Aug 02, 2014
tbaba1234:

And this is a good medium to address these many things.

We can also talk about why you should have religious beliefs.
I understand, but this is not the place, this thread would be derailed. I'm enjoying this current convo and hope it continues.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 10:49pm On Aug 02, 2014
underscrew:
I understand, but this is not the place, this thread would be derailed. I'm enjoying this current convo and hope it continues.


I am sure, the guys won't mind. Besides all grounds have been covered here

If you want, i could give you my email and we could have that conversation.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by Nobody: 11:25pm On Aug 02, 2014
@Sino.

Thank you. I see better now.

1 Like

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 11:30pm On Aug 02, 2014
tbaba1234:

I am sure, the guys won't mind. Besides all grounds have been covered here

If you want, i could give you my email and we could have that conversation.
there is really no need. maybe some othet time :-)
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 11:38pm On Aug 02, 2014
underscrew:
there is really no need. maybe some othet time :-)

Hehe, do you like basketball?
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 8:52am On Aug 03, 2014
tbaba1234:

Hehe, do you like basketball?
Not at all, I find it quite boring.
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 12:57pm On Aug 03, 2014
underscrew:
Not at all, I find it quite boring.

What sport do you enjoy?
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 8:59pm On Aug 03, 2014
underscrew:
Not at all, I find it quite boring.

tbaba1234:
What sport do you enjoy?

*clears throat
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by underscrew(f): 4:10pm On Aug 04, 2014
tbaba1234:



*clears throat
football, lawntennis, sprint races, swimming, gymnastics etc
Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by tbaba1234: 6:45pm On Aug 04, 2014
underscrew:
football, lawntennis, sprint races, swimming, gymnastics etc

Ok, let talk about football.

I want you to imagine you wake up and in front of you are a bunch of guys running around kicking a ball. No goals, No lines, No rules!

What would you think? But is that your life? Surely every sport has its goal every game has its end, it has its objective it has its rules. How about life? How about our life? Isn’t there a goal to life? Isn’t there a purpose, an objective that we have to reach?

We think so! The Qur’an tell us that we exist in order to worship God and worshipping God means knowing God.

I created jinn and mankind only to worship Me: (Surah51:56)

Worship though is not some narrow small thing. It’s wide its vast, it encompasses everything that the human being does everything that you do, everything that you think, everything that you feel can be done thought, said, felt in a way that is either pleasing or displeasing to God.

The purpose of life is to try and do everything in a way that God loves and God is pleased with.

That is your goal!

7 Likes

Re: Gender/family Issues And Islam by baba11(m): 10:51pm On Aug 04, 2014
^^^....in a situation like this,it's highly necessary to understand such person to some extent before proceeding..firstly,why did he/she changed his/her ways,when he/she was practising,how and what's their level of their faith
?Are they the type that does my father is praying,then I must pray or rather they are being compulsed.. it's when one is very dear to such person and be able to extract some vital information either advertently or inadvertently that one could be able to proffer solutions..#justsaying


@underscrew: which's really urs from the aforementioned?? probably, your friends might have influence u or attitude of some Muslims...

U are free to share your thoughts... no one will castigate u in whatever forms


Go on we are listening........

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