I've been married for 7 months now to my college sweet heart. I love her with all I've got and I have no doubt that she loves me too. Even with d love, I get her angry atimes for reasons I cannot help. Some examples of the things that annoy her include: 1. Ignoring her while watching football. 2. Playing video games instead of helping out in d house. 3. Not arranging my clothes immediately I take them off. 4. Coming before her during the act (pls this happens once in a while). Etc

With all my crimes, it always surprises me dt she forgives instantly when I do one particular thing.

We both have very busy schedules, leave d house early and return home at an average of 7pm on week days. Most often she leaves before me and I return home before her. Our bedroom is always like a war zone when we're leaving for work. It is my duty to scatter d room even more because am most often the last person to leave d house. I try to help her arrange d room every evening after work. She is a very sweet and caring wife. In fact she pampers me like am her baby (we r age mates).

Regardless of how I apologise for my crimes, there are days she'd give me so much attitude dt I feel like running away from my own house. I might even make out time to visit her office during d day and trust me, she'd give attitude.

On one of her "attitude" days, I returned home before her as usual and just felt like arranging d room. I was not happy dt she was angry with me and I was not in d mood for d tv or even d computer. I just arranged d room to my satisfaction and laid down on d room couch.

I heard when she came into d house and I remained where I was. I was determined to ignore her. As she stepped into d room and it was neatly arranged, she shouted "awwwww!!! My baby! U arranged d room!!!" She was so happy and instantly I knew I was forgiven.

It happened one more time and I knew dt is her key. These days, whenever I commit a crime I don't bother apologising for long. I just go home and arrange d room and she has not failed to give me dt happy response. It amazes me and my question is, why does my arranging d room evoke such tenderness from her?

I understand her perfectly. Your wife is the kind of person who loves a nice and cosy atmosphere in her home and tidiness helps create it. She also knows that you are different, not putting so much emphasis on tidiness so she appreciates it A LOT when you take your time to do something that is important to her but not you.

@OP
i think you are not looking at this issue the right way...... instead of finding ways to be forgiven, wouldnt it be simpler to just avoid doing the "crimes"?

Why ask question when you have the key that unlocks her heart?

Your arrangement of the room shows to her that you are concerned about her not only in words but in action. The reduction of the chores for her is enough to forgive you easily considering that you are always comfortable watching TV or playing games without minding domestic chores.

@Op......Someone that loves you even when she is angry forgives easily. You are lucky to have such a wife. Some will nag and nag until you run out of your own house, but if I were you I will try and stop doing those things she hates. You are an adult and knows what is good and what is bad.

op.... stop those acts. She might come home one day like that frustrated and thr won't be any forgiveness!

Show her much more of the love that she's showing you. No amount of arrangements can replace the love,

moreover, the first year of a marriage is always difficult. keep bearing.
You're blessed!

adebayo201:
moreover,[b] the first year of a marriage is always difficult. [/b]keep bearing.
You're blessed!

Is this a universal law? I always hear this but don't believe this falsehood.

bellong:

Is this a universal law? I always hear this but don't believe this falsehood.

I thought i was the only one that noticed that. People go into marriage with this conditioning and not fix things,make extra effort and be happy believing it is according to the golden rule of marriage that "the first year or first few years is always hard". Says who? Based on what stats?


If you don't enjoy marriage at the early stages when do you want to? When the teeth start falling off ?

onegig: I thought i was the only one that noticed that. People go into marriage with this conditioning and not fix things,make extra effort and be happy believing it is according to the golden rule of marriage that "the first year and few years is always hard". Says who? Based on what stats?


If you don't enjoy marriage at the early stage when do you want to? When the teeth are falling off already?

Misconceptions and falsehood perpetrated as the truth over the years are part of the reasons why a lot of union experience turmoils and difficulties. The first few years and beyond can be without any difficulties and this is not downplaying minor agreements in the path of adjusting to each other.

^^you are right!

the 1st years should be the best years, not the way around, lol!

chai can't believe that issue like this can cause someone to give attitude and cause problem in marriage? Those of us that are disorganize and arrange our cloths whenever we are in the mood, what are we going to do?

priest2u: chai can't believe that issue like this can cause someone to give attitude and cause problem in marriage? Those of us that are disorganize and arrange our cloths whenever we are in the mood, what are we going to do?

My dear, it is an issue o and it can be very frustrating,please learn to be more organised before you marry because your wife might feel very bad especially if she is the organised type.

There is nothing as soothing as coming back from work after a hectic day and meeting a fresh and clean room....Heavenly.

parismarc:

My dear, it is an issue o and it can be very frustrating,please learn to be more organised before you marry because your wife might feel very bad especially if she is the organised type.

There is nothing as soothing as coming back from work after a hectic day and meeting a fresh and clean room....Heavenly

@bolded is the point!
thunder faya any man that tries to make me miss that feeling
I always can't wait to get back to my room

You are a husband now you will need to stop up more, when babies come she will need more help.

Please dont let her complain, by your testimony she is a great wife, keep helping her reduce the burden and not feel taken for granted.

Some men take loads of things lightly. I remember when my Mother In Law came to see us and my husband was doing some of these things, one day when I went to the kitchen I heard her asking him why he is acting like that, and his response was "My Wife is not complaining" and his Mother said "Dont let her complain, dont wait for the day that she will open her mouth and complain, you know its wrong, I didnt raise you like that"

Since then I noticed the change and I have not had a reason to complain.

Please keep doing things to ensure that the smile and joy stay on her face more times than the frowns

aisha2: You are a husband now you will need to stop up more, when babies come she will need more help.

Please dont let her complain, by your testimony she is a great wife, keep helping her reduce the burden and not feel taken for granted.

Some men take loads of things lightly. I remember when my Mother In Law came to see us and my husband was doing some of these things, one day when I went to the kitchen I heard her asking him why he is acting like that, and his response was "My Wife is not complaining" and his Mother said "Dont let her complain, dont wait for the day that she will open her mouth and complain, you know its wrong, I didnt raise you like that"

Since then I noticed the change and I have not had a reason to complain.

Please keep doing things to ensure that the smile and joy stay on her face more times than the frowns

I promise to keep trying. I have this feeling dt u spoke from ur heart.

Marriage is indeed sweet when both partners give selflessly.