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Advice Needed.. - Family - Nairaland

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Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 2:31pm On Aug 17, 2014
Good afternoon and happy sunday to everyone here.

I have this friend who will be participating in the Gulder Ultimate Search but her parents are not in support of this especially her Dad who happens to be a force Man..

She is this type that has passion for GUS but due to her father Strictness, she dont go out except she is going to school or church..
She talked with her mum about her passion but her father seems not to care about it..

What should she do?
Should she succumb to the desire of her father or achieve that dream of being a part of the Gulder ultimate search?
Re: Advice Needed.. by zayhal(f): 2:35pm On Aug 17, 2014
How old is she?

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Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 2:46pm On Aug 17, 2014
zayhal: How old is she?
She is 22 and she is in her final year in the University
Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 2:59pm On Aug 17, 2014
Parents are not suppose to control their children but guide them in the right way.

She should beg her mum to make her dad see reason. If he still doesnt all i can say is "follow your heart/dreams".
Re: Advice Needed.. by zayhal(f): 2:59pm On Aug 17, 2014
It's better she finds all means to convince her father. If he refuses, then she should drop the idea. At times, parents/older people see what children do not see. And in the long run, she'll realise that her father's decision is best for her. Pleasing/obeying him now is more improtant than GUS. When she's out of school and more independent then she can do all she likes.
Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 3:02pm On Aug 17, 2014
- where does she lives?
- who feeds and clothes her?
- who pays for her schooling and expenses?

if the above three is funded by her father, then she needs to sit down and find the way to explain to her father why exactly she will need to stop going to Uni for GUS.....and he should accept before she remotely thinks of going to screening.
Re: Advice Needed.. by RoyalRoy(m): 3:04pm On Aug 17, 2014
For a force man to refuse his daughter such a chance at having a good experience of what he has passed through in the line of duty, then he needs to be taken seriously. They should ask him what his reasons are exactly.

Is the girl an SS genotype?

Will the GUS run during her school calendar year?

Has the girl been exposed to rigorous lifestyle before I.e sleeping on mats on floors and bathing in the open? Can she swim very well? Will she survive the rigours of climbing trees and Mountains?

All these are good enough reasons the dad might have. But not until they ask specifically then we can only assume.

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Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 3:11pm On Aug 17, 2014
She should go abeg. Force man is only trying to protect his little butterfly. Children need to ja ra won from their parents, a good opportunity has presented itself. She should seize it.
Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 3:29pm On Aug 17, 2014
^^^^bro, what if she goes to screening and is let off within first steps........ where will she go from there? back to the stubborn military man/father who will tell her "i warned you not to go"?
Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 3:30pm On Aug 17, 2014
zayhal: It's better she finds all means to convince her father. If he refuses, then she should drop the idea. At times, parents/older people see what children do not see. And in the long run, she'll realise that her father's decision is best for her. Pleasing/obeying him now is more improtant than GUS. When she's out of school and more independent then she can do all she likes.
Thanks
Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 3:31pm On Aug 17, 2014
MRbrownJAY: - where does she lives?
- who feeds and clothes her?
- who pays for her schooling and expenses?

if the above three is funded by her father, then she needs to sit down and find the way to explain to her father why exactly she will need to stop going to Uni for GUS.....and he should accept before she remotely thinks of going to screening.
Her father is responsible for all that
Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 3:34pm On Aug 17, 2014
MRbrownJAY: ^^^^bro, what if she goes to screening and is let off within first steps........ where will she go from there? back to the stubborn military man/father who will tell her "i warned you not to go"?
I understand your point sir..
I told her same thing..If her father doesnt approve her going,then she should not participate.


Her father is the type that hardly allows any of his children go out aside school,church or market,they are indoors 24/7.
Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 3:42pm On Aug 17, 2014
Odunharry:
Her father is responsible for all that

then she best make peace with that man before she leaves........ if i am the said father and i strictly forbids her to go, and she ultimately goes, then she is on OHO after Gulder.

here is what i would tell her: "this GUS bullcrap is going to be here again next year, and the one after that, so when you finally get your education i will personally take you to the screening MYSELF, but right now you need to focus on your Uni and EDUCATION.....the fun part comes later and you need to set your priorities straight. if you want to be famous, then rest assured you will be when you become homeless and live on the street because you dropped out of school (and disobey your parents) just for this Gulder BS."

Odunharry:
I understand your point sir..
I told her same thing..If her father doesnt approve her going,then she should not participate.
Her father is the type that hardly allows any of his children go out aside school,church or market,they are indoors 24/7.

then she needs to get her independence FIRST, then join all the reality shows she desires, but until then........she must stand by the rules of her father.
Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 3:45pm On Aug 17, 2014
MRbrownJAY:

then she best make peace with that man before she leaves........ if i am the said father and i strictly forbids her to go, and she ultimately goes, then she is on OHO after Gulder.

here is what i would tell her: "this GUS bullcrap is going to be here again next year, and the one after that, so when you finally get your education i will personally take you to the screening MYSELF, but right now you need to focus on your Uni and EDUCATION.....the fun part comes later and you need to set your priorities straight. if you want to be famous, then rest assured you will be when you become homeless and live on the street because you dropped out of school (and disobey your parents) just for this Gulder BS."



then she needs to get her independence FIRST, then join all the reality show she desires, but until then........she must stand by the rules of her father.
Thanks Boss
Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 4:00pm On Aug 17, 2014
MRbrownJAY: ^^^^bro, what if she goes to screening and is let off within first steps........ where will she go from there? back to the stubborn military man/father who will tell her "i warned you not to go"?
The fear of failure should not deter her from pursuing her dreams. Daddy not supporting is injurious enough in itself. Going and failing would be better than not going and her ruing what could have been. Moreover, what if she makes it to second place in the show proper. MBJ, you're getting old, don't be so scared of your little ones. They'll grow up eventually. tongue

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Re: Advice Needed.. by Nobody: 4:14pm On Aug 17, 2014
^^^nah man, i am all for the littles ones to fly away eventually, but i want them to be FULLY prepared (to the best of my abilities, and theirs) when they do. now, this child is in her final yr in Uni, and she wants to put that "focus" aside so she can go and participate in some reality TV nonsense (that will bring her NOTHING valuable for the future ahead of her)?

failure is part of everybody's life and they will eventually realise that, but it is all about the priorities in life. at that particular time in this lady's life, her final yr in Uni is what is important, nothing else matters!

btw: what if she even wins that show....then what? is she set for life? will she have a tool/trade/knowledge that will make her pay her rent, feed herself and provide for her daily needs (let alone eventually taking care of my old aasss lol)? any child who looks at reality tv as something that will get them through LIFE is deluded, and need to be slapped back to reality!
Re: Advice Needed.. by Edykul(f): 4:52pm On Aug 17, 2014
She should obey her father since she is still under nd depends on him 4 everytin.
Re: Advice Needed.. by lalasticlala(m): 2:48pm On Sep 28, 2014
zayhal: It's better she finds all means to convince her father. If he refuses, then she should drop the idea. At times, parents/older people see what children do not see. And in the long run, she'll realise that her father's decision is best for her. Pleasing/obeying him now is more improtant than GUS. When she's out of school and more independent then she can do all she likes.
Re: Advice Needed.. by Odunharry(m): 3:01pm On Sep 28, 2014
tanx all

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