Help! Me And My Husband Are Turning E-couple

This internet sure have its disadvantages o! I remember when me and my husband were dating (before internet cafes boom in naija). He used to talk to me, hold my hands, stay with me while I cook and we share jokes and have a good laff. Things are completely different and it's seriously giving me concern. My hubby is so much addicted to his computer (with internet access at work and sometimes connected at home (if multilinks network is good)) that he hardly wants to sit down and talk with me. Sometimes, if i have any issue that i need to raise, I chat with him because he is always logged onto his messenger. I asked him an honest question whether what we r becoming is e-couple or are we for real? please my dear nairalanders, how can I resolve this, what can I do? I honestly have tried a lot of talks, conversations and discussions. HELP!!!

It shd be My husband and I abi? ok, I correct my english

Three things:

1. Pray that NEPA lives up to their name so there's is no electricity by the time he gets home at night.

2. Sabotage the generator so it does not work until YOU want it to.

3. Run his laptop battery down while he's eating so it aont be available for him to use later on.


He'll get the message. Goodluck.

YOUR HUSBAND OR YOUR BOYFRIEND?

if he is your husband, then I assume you live in the same house and sleep on the same bed. Make his head turn with ur , em , em , em

if he is your boyfriend, since he has a good job, get him to the altar sharp! sharp!!

I'm talking from experience.

Nagging only makes hanging out with you less attractive. You need to tempt him. Be a woman!

kokoye:

Three things:

1. Pray that NEPA lives up to their name so there's is no electricity by the time he gets home at night.

2. Sabotage the generator so it does not work until YOU want it to.

3. Run his laptop battery down while he's eating so it aont be available for him to use later on.

He'll get the message. Goodluck.

The only message that will send is "I'm a wicked witch and you should never have married me".

U are probably have issues you are yet to resolve that is why he turned to the internet as an alternative option.I think you should talk to him.

shegirl71:

U are probably have issues you are yet to resolve that is why he turned to the internet as an alternative option.I think you should talk to him.

i agree with u shegirl.
@poste
U really need to sit him down and hav a heart to heart talk prob in the early wakin hours.all the best dear.

Red Alert! Go for war in lraq and share your experience when you come back, Honestly speaking, you need to break the computer and burn the multilinks cable and the phone , Internet is really romancing with your hubby and before you say MY LORD IS MY GUIDE, you must have found your so-called in England or Austin remarrying , Bet me , internet is bad for spouses cuz of eCheating , l ve been on the INTERNET FOR GOOD 7 YEARS AND I KNOW WHAT SAYING TO YOU , DONT SLEEP AND LET ONLINE ROCK YOUR HOME ,

Red Alert!

Go for war in lraq and share your experience when you come back.Honestly  speaking, you  need  to break  the computer and  burn the multilinks cable  and  the phone , Internet is really  romancing  with your  hubby and   before you say MY LORD IS  MY GUIDE, you must  have found your  so-called hubby  in  England or  Austin remarrying , Bet  me ,  internet is  bad  for spouses cuz  of eCheating , l  ve  been on  the INTERNET  FOR GOOD 7 YEARS AND  I KNOW WHAT  SAYING TO YOU , DONT SLEEP AND  LET  ONLINE ROCK YOUR  HOME ,

Seun:

Nagging only makes hanging out with you less attractive. You need to tempt him. Be a woman!

Spot on Seun . . .My thoughts precisely . . . .TURN on the CHARM . . .WOMAN VS MACHINE . . .some liquid seduction will definitely change his mind.

@emiemin

this is really an intriguing read. two qs
1. i'd like to ask is are you living in the same house.
2. what kind of work is ur hubby into as in is he an online bizman.

The way unmarried peeps with little experience with relationships ,give advice to married people can be disturbing at times.

Just my 2 cents !!

E-couple?!

chei, the thing wey "E-" go turn this world to, i no know!!

Hmmm. . . . i kinda know what you mean and i suggest you talk to him. let him know how u feel

congoshine:

The way unmarried peeps with little experience with relationships ,give advice to married people can be disturbing at times.

Just my 2 cents !!

I'm with you . . . . [s]Plus the ones wey dey claim marriage sef.[/s]

Hes probably flirting online! Or some other nonsense

I think you should mention it to him and how it upsets you.

Men are difficult at the end of the day he will do what he wants no matter what you say. You need to bind your time. As soon as you tell him you are not happy just wait.
Ignore him even if he trys to make conversation ask him not to waste his time and jump on his laptop time is going. He will be gobsmacked and then claim you are talking nonsense but secretly he will know he has upset you.

congoshine:

The way unmarried peeps with little experience with relationships ,give advice to married people can be disturbing at times.

Just my 2 cents !!

ROTFLMFAO,This is funny

Lol i am not married and i ain't planning on doing so anytime soon but it is either the woman is not doing her bit to keep the man interested or he is simply playing an extra-marital match on the internet.I would advice the woman to make her feelings known to the man Communication is vital

Thank you peeps for all your suggestions.
@Seun
I dey try my best but it seems my best isn't enuff. i'll continue trying sha
@biolabee
yes, we live together and he is an IT person
@tope2000, shegirl 71
I have tried severally to communicate my displeasure to him but to no avail.
@kokoye
i can't do those things you advised, i'm not such a person. I believe in communication and understanding
@webman
that's why i brought the matter here o. i don't know what else to do

Maybe i shd provide more info.
we have a baby girl and i have 2 relatives staying with me presently plus the housekeeper. i am thinking of letting go the relatives and see how this could affect us

I don't think this has anything to do with your relatives. What if you let them go and he withdraws further away from you? That way you haven't solved your problem and your relatives would loathe you.

I have a question though: What exactly does he do online? Business or leisure? You need to be sure of this before you know what to do.

congoshine:

The way unmarried peeps with little experience with relationships ,give advice to married people can be disturbing at times.

Just my 2 cents !!

Exactly,

Nautillus:

Spot on Seun . . .My thoughts precisely . . . .TURN on the CHARM . . .WOMAN VS MACHINE . . .some liquid seduction will definitely change his mind.

Perfect Idea

spikedcylinder:

I don't think this has anything to do with your relatives. What if you let them go and he withdraws further away from you? That way you haven't solved your problem and your relatives would loathe you.

I have a question though: What exactly does he do online? Business or leisure? You need to be sure of this before you know what to do.

well, he's an IT person involved in a lot of web applications, websites mgt etc. Although he chats a lot, play online games etc. that's d most i've seen him do on his system.

Whats wrong in chatting with him or playin these online games together?

Gamine:

Whats wrong in chatting with him or playin these online games together?

That's why i asked whether we are tending towards E-couple ness i.e. chatting about serious issues instead of spending time to talk about it and grow our intimacy. As per the games, i sometimes do with him but after spending some few hours doing that, i get tired.

Another question I have is; do you work full time? I mean, is this time spent by your husband on the computer the only time you both can spare to share together?

good you know something is iffy about this. if there is one medicine i would like to give nigerians it is one that would make us leave young couples alone without crowding their houses and relationships.
we now have phones so dont need to be in peoples lives as before. let alone go and stay

having got that out of my mind, i would recommend you ask yourself how you 2 of your people got there. was he happy about this? is he happy now? put yourself in his position i.e having 2 of your in-laws with you at home

JJYOU:

if there is one medicine i would like to give nigerians it is one that would make us leave young couples alone without crowding their houses and relationships.
we now have phones so don't need to be in peoples lives as before. let alone go and stay

You nailed it!!!!!!!!

@Emiemi

I see where you are coming from.

But Your Husband cannot stop being a PC person,

its best to go with his flow o.

I feel you are worrying too much about it.

Maybe Your relatives have a part to play, send em away or something

And the way you are presenting it, its like your husband dosnt move from that computer

it conjures up this image in my mind

@spikedcylinder
yes 9-5.
@gamine
the image is not too far from reality. What bothers me is that since he's an IT person and all he does at work is computer, why come home and still EVEN put on the computer. If it's not premiership matches on dstv then definitely it will be laptop. No time to spare for me or the kid.
Per the relatives issue, i made the mistake of taking them in too early in my life and now I have to say no more. i want to see if it will help matters ( I actually do think it will).

Ok then.

Sorry about your situation but I think you need to talk to him. He might not know you feel this way. Also, find ways to lure him away from the damned machine but make sure your child is asleep o.