Lovely update....

CHAPTER 7

As I already suspected, Eze was not happy with the idea. He tried to talk me out of it once more but this time around he knew I was determined. So he did what most reasonable people might do when faced with such a between the devil and the deep blue sea conundrum in order not to shoot himself in the foot—he started avoiding me.

I was sorry for putting him in a difficult spot but then that was exactly what I wanted. He knew that as a friend, in a way, he was under the unwritten obligation to help me out. But that’s exactly where the problem lies. We both knew how this went. If he tells me outright that he was not going to help me, he knew he was going to risk losing not just a great friend but a trustworthy and loyal friend plus all those perks that came with it.

But then, if he agrees that he was going to, at least, talk to his father on my behalf; he knew that with my current determined state of mind, I would never ever let him be until I get a positive result because I will be constantly reminding him of it. I guess he wasn’t ready for that type of stress.

At first I didn’t notice he was avoiding me but as time went on, it became obvious that was exactly what the guy was doing. He seemed so busy and always in haste. He rarely stayed in his house. He was always about to leave his house whenever I visited. There was always this someone he wanted to go and see or this appointment he has with someone. He never called and even reaching him on the phone became almost impossible. Of course, he never came to my place again!

Being the type of person I am, who loves his independence and freedom more than anything else in the world, I didn’t feel like wasting anytime in dwelling on what that could mean to me, assuming I might need his help, most especially when I start running out of cash. Well, when I reach that bridge, I shall cross it. Of course, I’ve always had this belief that something will always turn up.

In fact, I was lucky and so happy that cash wasn’t going to be a problem for me at least for some time to come because when I was returning from Lagos, my uncle gave me thirty-five thousand naira. I wanted to refuse but at the same time, a better part of me reminded me of how much I needed the cash badly.

But even as I protested, my uncle added another five thousand naira to it making it a total of forty thousand and told me the extra five was for my transport fare. He told me to manage that and remain steadfast in prayers and to never give up because one of these days the good Lord will answer my prayers and reward me with that job.

I came so close to tears. I expressed my gratitude profusely and thanked him so much but he told me not to mention it because according to him, there was no way on earth he could forget how good my late mum, his sister, was to him and how she helped him survive during his own university days.

One thing I have also learnt as a survivor is how to easily adapt to any situation plus how to be very frugal in my spending, most especially, when it comes to differentiating wants from needs.

So I didn’t worry about Eze avoiding me. I simply stayed in my house, finding other ways to entertain myself. I also took it as an opportunity to immerse myself into learning another computer programming language called Visual C#. Someone had earlier told me it was a very graphical thus easy programming language to learn so I decided it won’t be such a bad idea to learn how to accomplish programming tasks with simpler languages so as to become more efficient.

It was during this period of hiatus from Eze that I remembered Uche my childhood friend and I decided to check up on him to see how he was doing. I wanted to invite him over to my place because I needed his company. I knew he would jump immediately at that offer. He liked me so much.

Uche is normally the person I will always call if I needed someone to talk to. We were really that close. Maybe it’s because we have been such a long childhood friends, maybe it’s because he can be so emotional sometimes which makes him so childish and funny too, or maybe it’s because I feel he perfectly understands me but deep within me I knew that one thing I liked about Uche is that he is a trusted friend you can always count on.

He’s just like a typical brother. He knows how to pester you like a brother knowing that you simply cannot do away with him. Well, I just can’t do away with him because he also happens to be an expert in telling all sorts of stories and I love listening to his often exaggerated stories and gossips.

He will always want to know what is going on in your life. He knows how to scatter your room after you have taken the pains to arrange everything and keep things in order. I guess he does all that simply because he already knew he can rile me anyhow and I won’t do anything to him, save my occasional reprimanding outbursts which he always finds so amusing. That’s why I said he is a typical brother.

But I still liked him in a way although I hated his exasperating habit of always going through my drawers and lockers anytime he visits me as if he is snooping on me. But then, he has a heart of gold. He is that type of person who does things for you without necessarily expecting anything back. He will eat in your house and expect you to do the same when you come over to his house.

Uche is also very loyal. He will follow you to anywhere you want him to escort you to so far as you are ready to buy for him something delicious like suya, a very tasty delicacy made from barbecued beef which is sometimes spiced up with a fine mixture of powdered groundnut, ginger, pepper and often garnished with onions and cabbage to complete the experience; just to make it up for his time.

He also happens to be a very good listener and he could come up with some very nice ideas too, every once in a while. One other thing I liked about the guy, he just seems to know one or two things about almost everyone so he normally feeds me the juicy tidbits of the latest happenings in town. I don’t know how or where he gets his stories from but he is really good at it.

Uche is a year older than me but sometimes he just acts as if I am his senior but still I so much like the manner in which he, just like Eze, listens to my candid advice. No doubt, I knew he so much believed in me.

He is a Chemistry teacher in a private secondary school located in Ogui which was a little far from Coal Camp where I stayed but he always found time to visit me anytime I invited him, which I suppose you should have guessed by now, is not that often because to tell you the truth, although he happens to be my closest friend, I don’t really enjoy his visitations that much which is why I always have to call him first before he can visit.

Of course, I preferred Eze’s company because Eze was fun assured. One main reason why Uche’s company never interested me that much was simply because Uche is what women will call a nice guy.

to be continued...

Good work bro!!! i think you're a womanizer just like moi [color=#990000][/color], I'm really impressed ...kudos, keep em coming cos we are waiting

Edcharles: Good work bro!!! i think you're a womanizer just like moi [color=#990000][/color], I'm really impressed ...kudos, keep em coming cos we are waiting

Bia Oga Ed, nwoke m kpachapukwa anya gi dia!!! Who are you calling a womanizer?

But wait o! So you are a womanizer? Ahaa...you can now see why I told you to stop watching Two and A Half Men, huh?

Well, if you are a womanizer, that's your own business. As for me, even God and all His Angels in heaven know that I'm not and can never be a womanizer!

By the way, if you need a cure for your womanizing habit then I suggest you start going to Adoration immediately for deliverance or better still you bath with salt water every day for seven days for proper cleansing.

Anuofia.

Hehehehehe....

And Lord knows, I have no time for such guys. If you give them the chance, someone like Uche will quickly find a way to indoctrinate or prick your conscience and make you feel so bad when it comes to issues concerning girls from the way he will keep preaching moral virtues of chastity and upholding the tradition of one man one wife. He never fails to remind me that those girls we are toying with their hearts are actually someone’s sister or daughter. Oh crap! Are they not!

He was always the first to criticize and condemn me whenever any of my relationship with any recent catch ends abruptly. I can no longer recount the number of times he has told me that it is only God that will save both Eze and I from the numerous heartbreaks we have caused so many women which we are, according to him, surely going to pay dearly for one day.

I will normally laugh whenever he made such karmic assertions but sometimes I find myself wondering what if he was right—and there was going to be some sort of punishment after all and from there, I will start contemplating the nature of the punishment and what it is going to be like—that is, assuming there was ever going to be any form of punishment in the first place.

But the truth was that I didn’t actually like the way he gives me the guilt-trip by making it sound as if Eze and I were serial heartbreakers which I always tried to convince myself that I wasn’t because I don’t like the way it sounds whenever he says it.

I was also completely tired of the way he was always complaining to me that he could no longer understand why girls seem to run after Eze and me even though we will still break their hearts in the end while neglecting good, serious and God-fearing guys like him.

I also never liked listening to his complaints on how women were rejecting and treating him bad just because he wants to treat them with respect and shower them with love. From the way he sounded at times, sometimes I just prayed he was not becoming jealous.

I will always quickly try to counter by reminding him that maybe his problem is that he is too God-fearing and he will do himself a lot of favor if he starts following my lead. I will also try to educate him that most women tend to freak out from such type of intense love and too much attention he often gives them.

“But Chux, you know I can’t change myself. I have and will always be like this. I can never maltreat a woman no matter what she does to me.” That came from Uche. He always calls me Chux, which is a kind of short nickname for my Igbo name Chukwuma.

“Wait Uchman, so you think we maltreat women?” I like calling him by that nickname Uchman, or Uchmanny, or simply Uch. “For your information, we only give these women what they want, which is fun and adventure, but we cannot always continue giving it to only one of them. We have so many fishes in the pipeline waiting to be served so it’s actually a turn by turn affair, you know…?”

“You fool! I don’t blame you at all!” he complained. “It’s just that I can’t understand what they see in you stupid guys that makes them to keep on coming back to you useless guys even when it is so obvious that you guys seem not to care for them at all. I wonder why they can’t just see it that you guys only want to use and dump them. You guys are very heartless. I know it is Eze that is corrupting you or is it the other way round…?”

“Uchman, there you have your answers already! Maybe you should stop worrying about them or who is corrupting who and start worrying about you and focusing on how to become like us so that you will start enjoying whatever you think we are enjoying, okay…?”

“But Chux, you know I can’t change myself! You guys are smooth operators. I am not and you know I will always be like this. No matter what, I can never maltreat a woman. All I want is a girl that I can share a very deep connection with.”

There he goes again! Must he use that maltreat word?!

And so from there, we will always argue back and forth only to end up with me trying to convince him that we are not maltreating any girl and our discussion will normally break up with me leaving when Uche starts complaining to me that main reason why he needed his own girl was just because it had been a very long time since he last had sex…

Today as Uche entered my room, he was looking so lively and jovial. I could easily see that from the way his eyes were glistening. Soon, we exchanged pleasantries and I offered him a seat.

It was a mere formality. There has never been a day he actually accepted the seat. The next moment he had thrown himself on top of my bed rumpling my crisp bedspread immediately and knocking my pillows off the bed onto the floor in the process. I couldn’t do anything to him because like I told you before, he’s my brother-friend.

“Chux my man, what has been happening to you? What have you been up to? This one you remembered me today, what do you want me to do for you or should I say, what do you want to do for me?”

I told him that I just wanted to see him because it has been long. Actually I saw him three weeks ago when I called him to inform him that I had just returned from Lagos and he later visited to see if I brought some present or something edible for him.

So when I told him that I just wanted to hear the latest grapevine from him, he made a face at me, and then he suddenly giggled and told me that, as usual, I was at the right place at the right time but he told me it was also going to cost me, as usual. As usual.

From the mischievous glint in his eyes, I knew immediately what he was referring to. I quickly stepped outside to see if any of my neighbor’s kids were around so that I could send them on an errand to buy some bottles of Guinness Stout, Uche’s favorite beer, and Star, my own favorite brand plus some suya from those Hausa guys who normally prepare it.

My neighbor’s kids, those little imps, they normally accept running such errands for me with all eagerness and no qualms. I knew that the only reason why they still ran such errands for me, much against their mother’s will, was just because I always told them to keep the change afterwards.

When I came back to my apartment, as I already knew he would, he was already going through my drawers and from the way the door of my wardrobe stood ajar, I knew he must have finished with that one too.

Shit! I just don’t know why he keeps doing that neither can I say I know what he was looking for or actually hoping to find. Since the last time he accidentally stumbled upon my ebony p0rn0 which I had carelessly stashed in that wardrobe which he then subsequently borrowed without my permission, and which of course he never returned, I’ve made sure I now had a new place to stash my collection.

to be continued...

D̶̲̥̅̊ɪ̣̝̇§˚˚° is interesting.....captivating and so so creative too....i like your style of writing too.


For the above mentioned reasons,i'm sticking to D̶̲̥̅̊ɪ̣̝̇§°˚˚˚° thread like bread and bama.


I don't know why some people read A̶̲̥̅ good story and then disappear afterwards without taking just one minute to write A̶̲̥̅ comment....

Following u bumper to bumper

Wow!

@Flakkydagirl, so na bread and bama dem do you? Chai, why my own come be banana and groundnut na?!

@ anasbeaut, abeg I no dey for bumpa2bumpa. Why not try Wande Coal?

All the same, thanks y'all for your kind wordz of encouragement. I really appreciate.

Okay, let's continue...

Soon the drinks arrived and we settled down to do justice to the appetizer before us. I opened the small Stout for him with an opener. Then I also opened the Star for myself.

As we sipped the beer and munched on the suya, he slowly filled me in with the latest happenings I had missed from that time I went to Lagos. He first started by telling me the latest happenings in his school and about a female teacher whom he was having slight quibbles with just because she suspected he had an eye for another female teacher instead of her. I shook my head in wonderment and congratulated him for becoming such a hot cake over a short period of time and pleaded with him to hand over to me his magic wand with immediate effect. We both laughed heartily over that, from the sudden feigned serious note in my voice.

He then proceeded to tell me about one of his loud-mouthed friends who wanted to surprise the whole neighborhood by buying a very expensive Honda Accord 2007 model from Cotonou only for him to later get the rudest shock of his life when he got the news that the car has been impounded by the Customs officials at the border as the vehicle was being smuggled into Nigeria from Benin.

According to Uche, what really made the whole situation so sad was that those guys who were supposed to help him get the car, after making so many promises, actually duped him by collecting almost twice the amount for that car and still tried to smuggle the car into the country rather than paying the normal import duty.

He told me that if anyone got surprised in the end, it was the guy because his secret was blown open by the antics of those fraudulent and greedy guys and everyone later heard, from the grapevine of course, that he actually wanted to buy either an End of Discussion or Discussion Continues or Evil Spirit which are the Nigerian slang for Honda Accord 2003 model, 2004-6 model and 2007 to latest models respectively.

Uche also told me that no one expressed sympathy for the guy because he even confessed that many people have earlier warned him not to deal with those guys because they were known fraudsters but he never listened and now he had to pay the price for being so adamant.

He then told me about an old man living in his neighborhood who collapsed and died soon afterwards while waiting in a queue when pensioners were invited for verification. Then he told me about a female secondary school student who was raped to death by a classmate she trusted very well. The said classmate went as far as inviting four more boys to join in the fun. He said all those boys are now at large.

Then he told me about another lady of nineteen years who died while having an abortion because the boy who got her pregnant refused to accept responsibility for that very pregnancy. According to Uche, the boy who was actually twenty-one years of age told anyone who cared to listen that he was too young to become a father and he also claimed that he was not the only one doing the girl.

Uche’s story usually borders so much negativity but I can’t say I blame him for that after all negative news and scandals make the headlines these days!

He further told me about a lady who finally got married against all odds when most people had concluded she was nothing but a certified old cargo. Wonders shall never end, he concluded.

Uche, he is such a very good storyteller. There is a way in which he will be narrating his stories non-stop with very vivid descriptions and you will become so convinced that he witnessed the whole event live. I have always nursed this feeling that I will definitely need him any day I will want to write a bestseller because he has already proved himself a very good asset, over and over, in this regard.

He also told me about his neighbor’s friend who finally travelled abroad after being deported so many times and also about some ten guys who were recently deported from Libya when they tried to enter into Spain from there. From there, he launched straight into the miraculous story of another man whose wife finally conceived after fifteen years of marriage.

He then told me the latest happening at the government house and how the governor was being commended because he had awarded a mouth watering road construction project to one local construction company instead of a foreign firm. Sh1tt! Oh man, who knows, that could have been my contract.

With time, his discussion gradually settled to women and I listened to his narration about his progress with one of the beddable girls in his neighborhood he has been secretly admiring for the past seven months whom he claimed was bent on giving him a very tough time. I was expecting him to give me the juicy details on how he had finally scored with her and how good the girl was in bed only for him to tell me that he had finally succeeded in getting her hostel room number from her.

“And so? What are you waiting for?” I queried him. “Look, Uchman, one thing you should know, if you keep on delaying, another fast guy will come and take away your prize so it’s better for you to act now and quit playing this game of fantasy you are so much attuned to now!”
“So what do you want me to do?” Uche asked earnestly, clearly interested in my opinion.

“What I want you to do? Of course, I want you to go to her hostel, tell her you want to take her to somewhere she will like. Don’t even tell her you love her because chances are she already knows that and my guess is that so many guys must have said a similar thing to her. More action; less words please! Your own is to prove it to her that you are an action man. You want to Bleep her, right…?”

“Well… not really…”

“Wait, you mean you don’t want to Bleep her?!” I flared.

“Of course, I do. It’s just that I don’t like the way you put it—”

“Forget how I put it! Just take her to a very good joint and give a very special treatment. You know Enugu is now filled with so many nice joints, huh? Good. Take her to one of them. And make sure both of you are really having fun. Don’t ever pressurize her but make sure you say those things that will let her get the feeling that you are always ready to have an encore with her. Then later take her to your place and tell her there’s something else you also want her to see. Then watch out and tell me later who will be the first to climb into the bed…” I concluded.

“Chukso my man! You are a bad guy! That’s why I like you so much!” he praised me. “Guy, you just know how to make these things look so easy but you and I know that I can’t do anything like that… at least, not the way you just described it. You know it doesn’t happen that fast.
Besides, I like to take my things slow…?”

I shook my head at him in disappointment.

“Does that mean you need my help? Because I’m ready to go there with you right away? You know I’m always ready to render you that type of service as brothers concerned?” I cut in.

That seemed to jar him because he suddenly went on the offensive and said, “Hey, I don’t want you anywhere near that girl! That girl is mine and mine alone! Do you hear me? So stay away, please?!”

Hmm. I was momentarily taken aback. I saw the fire brimming from his eyes and I knew he was dead serious. That’s the problem with these guys. Always too possessive because they have such a terrible scarce mentality. And always never wanting to share…

to be continued...

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Anyway, I knew I had to diffuse the whole tension so I made a face at him as I tried to do what I normally do in such situations which to quickly identify the funny side of the whole thing.

I have been there too so it’s like me watching a caricature of myself. I just pictured Uch hanging around this girl like a humble servant with his head full of pride, desperately waiting to do her bidding, professing his undying love for her and telling her that he loved her from the very first moment he saw her.

I then pictured Uch misreading the girl’s smile as an invitation to get more chummy or touchy-feely. I could see the girl gently pushing him away because she doesn’t want to be rude to him and telling him that he should go slowly because she wants them to be just friends.

I further imagined Uch sensing the impending rejection and subsequently trying to over please her only to end up getting on her nerves even more until the poor girl can no longer take it and she finally lands him a very dirty slap before hissing and walking away and telling him in a very harsh tone not to ever contact her again in his life and that made me to start laughing.

That seemed to work because he soon joined me in the laughter after some hesitation. If only he knew why I was laughing… Uchmanny my friend, you really do have a lot to learn!

“Guy, I was only trying to help, you know…? But since you can handle it, go ahead, handle it then!” I said in a mock defeated tone.

“Chux, I know you really wanted to help but thanks and no thanks. The way I see it, if you really want to help, you should be talking about linking me up with any of those fine fine girls, like those ones you are always rolling with and bringing to Eze and not to talk of going with me to see this my new and special girl because from experience, I know what can happen next.”

I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Guy, don’t blame me ‘cause I have seen it happen before severally. One guy takes a friend to see his girl, next thing you know the girl becomes confused on whom she really wants to go out with between the two guys. It is often worse if this second guy happens to be a very cunning and sweet mouthed fellow who knows how to say those things that girls like and want to hear…,” he mouthed off.

I knew what part of his problem was. With him, it has always been a clear case of insecurity.

As I shook my head in pity for him, I said, “Anyway if that is the case, then you should be glad because you still have some favorable options left for you. At least you can start from your school. How about that plump teacher? The one you used to tell me about? I know for sure she will quit troubling you immediately you give in to her advances and from what I’m imagining, she sounds more like a cheerful giver or am I wrong…?”

“Shut up there, you fool! I’m sure you know that’s not what I want!” he rebuffed. “I don’t want her. What am I going to be doing with her? Have you ever seen her laps? Jesus! God forbid! All I want is a good and sweet young girl who will love me for me and not one fat lady whose sole agenda is to latch onto a husband.”

He got me there with that statement and sent me reeling with laughter.

“Aha! You see?! So you too, you are just like us because you only want sex, in a way, huh? Don’t deny it, don’t deny it…” I made a face at him as I playfully accused him. “Because if that is what you want, then I will advise you instead of wasting all your energy lusting after and fantasying about the girl that only gave you just her hostel room number, I mean, not even her phone number, you should just hit the street and get yourself as many hookers as you want. Luckily for you, Enugu now has that in surplus too. We can march straightway to Eight Hours right now… you know the girls there, they are all there waiting to service you and the good thing is that their prices are very low!” I winked as I said that to him.

“Oh Chux, how can you say that? You know that’s not what I want! I don’t want such girls. I want a girl who actually wants me and not the one that is with me because I bought a bottle of Star and pepper soup for her. It’s just that it’s been a long time since I last had sex… and you should know that I just want to feel it with someone special and not just with any random prostitute like you are suggesting…?”

That’s it! I knew he would say just that! And when he does, I knew I’m done. This conversation must come to an end now unless I want to end up having a whining baby in my hands repeating to me things we’ve already gone through before, sermonizing on the reasons why prostitutes are such a very bad choice and why one should be very careful not to contract any venereal disease. As if I don’t know that too… well, I told you he could be so childish sometimes.

At such times, whenever we came to that point, what I normally do to end the conversation and save myself from his long and often boring sermon is to leave his presence but today I decided to do a different thing.

I stood up and moved to my 21-inch Panasonic Color TV set. I pulled out my PS2 game box console and started making the necessary connections. If there was anything else on earth that Uche liked besides balancing chemical equations, or telling you the latest gist, or talking about the different girls he is always secretly admiring, and of course not forgetting stealing my porn; it’s playing soccer on PlayStation.

He can stay up all night playing all by himself and jerking his head and twisting his body this way or that way and occasionally kicking out his legs in the air as he tries to control the movement of the virtual ball on the screen until his fingers become sore and that was also one of the main reasons why I don’t like him to be visiting me frequently.

But today, I needed to distract him. So we started playing. I wasn’t much of a player and he was clearly better at it than me and he loved demonstrating that to me anytime we played.

Soon he became lost in the intricacies of the game and he soon forgot everything about women and concentrated on how to beat me silly. I believed he was really having so much fun in doing that. My own fun came from watching him jerking his head or twisting his body this way or that way as he played.

But I was wrong. He was still thinking about girls because he suddenly paused, looked over at me and casually said, “Chux, so how about that girl? The one you were telling me about the other time? The one you said you met inside a bus on your way to Lagos?”

Then it suddenly hit me. Somehow, I had completely forgotten about the girl Ifeoma. I remembered her accusing tone when she told me that I would do just that by collecting her number without bothering to ever call her again.

I had mentioned a little thing about her to Uche and I could recall telling him that I will later give him the full details of what happened between us at a much appropriate time and now the curiosity in him was obviously eating him up and making him to remind me to fulfill my promise in case I have already forgotten.

Ifeoma! How could I have forgotten her so soon? I guess it’s because I had so many things on my mind.

The memories of her rekindled and flooded my senses once more. I recalled her sweet smile, her fresh smell and our nice discussion. I pictured her laughing to my jokes. I pictured her eyes that seemed to probe into mine anytime we looked at each other as if we knew we were telepathically communicating with each other. I could recollect the tantalizing images of the swell of her bre.asts under that tight black dress she wore. I could also picture her round hips and her cute ass jiggling as I walked behind her while also feasting my eyes on her pretty well shaped legs.

I felt some warm stirrings in my trousers immediately. Obviously someone was waking up from slumber too—down there! I also remembered her voice and the way she fervently prayed for a stranger like me and told me that I was going to nail that very job sooner than later.

Ah, Ifeoma! Such a sweet girl!

to be continued...

I decided to put the blame of not bothering to contact her again on the fact that I wasn’t successful with that job interview or else I knew she would have been the first person I would be calling to tell her that her prayers for me had come true!

But then again, I recalled that when I tried to call her the morning before the interview to ask her to wish me luck, she didn’t respond so I just concluded that she is just one of those campus girls who give out their numbers, sometimes fake numbers, but with no intention of calling or responding when called. Anyway, who has that kind of time to pursue a stranger you met in a bus? So in a way, I had subconsciously dismissed her and moved on.

I also knew that the fact that I was no longer seeing Eze that often also contributed to her completely slipping out of my mind because there was no way on earth I will be with Eze and we won’t be discussing girls. I think the Visual C# which I thought would be a walk in the park but actually turned out to be a lot more cumbersome and complicated than I had anticipated which was why I started devoting more time towards mastering it properly also contributed too.

But I knew those were no real excuse for me to have forgotten a girl who actually clicked with me, just like that. Thank God she gave me her number! I’m going to call her—again, and I’m going to do that right now! I suddenly became so excited.

Then I stopped. What if I call her and she doesn’t answer again, what am I going to do next? Will that be a sign that all is still well? Is she sick, or dead, or something? No, no, nothing is wrong! I found myself rejecting this thought almost immediately.

B[i]ut what if she answers and tells me it’s a wrong number[/i]? Or tells me to go to hell for not calling her since? How will I go about apologizing to her? Will she try to understand that I am not this neglectful or has the damage been done already? Okay, what if her boyfriend or husband answers? Damn it!

What was happening to me? What is exactly wrong with me? Why am I suddenly feeling so excited—and worried about this girl all of a sudden—again?

Uche was keenly watching me as I racked my brain. I guess he must have seen as my face lit up and he must be warming up to hear the juiciest of the raunchiest details of what transpired between the girl and I because that was usually how it went whenever I fill him in with those stimulating details that I know he—actually, we both—enjoyed so much.

As I looked into his eyes and saw the eagerness in there, I was sorry I will be disappointing him this time around.

So I said, “Uch my man, will you believe me if I told you that I have not even called this girl, Ifeoma, since that time I came back from Lagos?”

I saw the look of disappointment on his face but it quickly disappeared and was immediately replaced by another dark look, which I have always recognized as the first stage of his stringent accusation. I saw the hateful look jump into his eyes and beclouded his face. He looked at me fiercely for a moment then in a resigned manner, he shook his head in a show of shame or disappointment or both for me.

When he finally opened his mouth, the bitterness and vexation in his voice was so obvious. He said to me, “You know what; I’m not even surprised you said that. In fact, I knew it was exactly what you were going to say. But Chux, why are you like this? You and Eze… why are you guys always like this, treating girls so badly? Of course, how couldn’t you have forgotten everything about her when all you know how to do is to jump from one girl to another every blessed day! You guys only specialize in giving a girl hope, making her fall in love and then you suddenly pull away just like that, I don’t know… like it’s some sort of sport to you guys or something…

“Well, like I’ve always said, I don’t blame you guys though. It’s not your fault! I blame the girls for giving you shallow guys the chance to toy with their hearts, their emotions and their bodies. If what you hinted me earlier on about this girl then was true and judging from the way you described the girl seem to have fallen for you, I can bet that the poor girl has been waiting for you to call her but she must have gotten wiser and decided to move on rather than waiting on a heel like you…”

Uche was beginning to prick my conscience once more but given the happy state of mind I was in because of the sudden influx of warm thoughts about Ifeoma I was experiencing, I couldn’t care less. I didn’t even want to tell him that I once tried to contact her she didn’t reply because I already knew he was going to chastise me by telling me to stop making such a lame excuse.

“Okay, okay, okay… I will see what I will do but, my God, the way you make it sound as if I’m a monster or something! By the way, I can’t even recall ever telling you I was already in love with her but all the same I’m still going to call her right now. Are you now satisfied?”

“My friend, please just leave me alone! Go ahead and call her if you want to call her and stop disturbing me please,” he hissed and tried to go back to his soccer. I grimaced. I said it, didn’t I? This Uchman, he knows how to act hysterically crazy sometimes.

I brought out my phone and scrolled through the phonebook for Ifeoma’s number, saw it and with a thumping heart, I started dialing it. I was afraid Uche might hear my heartbeat so I moved a little bit further away from where he was. What was I going to say to her—or to her boyfriend? I was so thrilled with the expectation of hearing her voice again—after that last time in the bus.

I could hear the ringing tone at the other end. She picked up the call on the third ring.

“I told you, didn’t I? I told you, you will never call!” she accused me immediately. I had a feeling she had been waiting for my call and that made me a little giddy but I was not even listening to what she was saying. The sound of her soft voice was so soothing to my soul.

I started to apologize immediately. “Ify please forgive me. Believe me; a lot of things came up. How can you say I forgot you? You know that’s not possible. Are you back from Lagos?”

I knew that most women find it so thrilling when you genuinely tell them that you can never forget them, most especially when you say it with a very gentle, low but highly charged erotic voice almost as if you are moaning. And I was also using her pet name too. I knew that also has an alluring effect too because most women love to be petted.

But I guess she still had to act the tough and arrogant feminine role so she said in a raspy voice, “Yes, Vince, I am back. I came back nine days ago. Now that you’ve finally decided to call, I wonder what you want from me now? Please be fast and get straight to the point because I don’t have all the time.”

I smiled inwardly because I knew I was already forgiven, from the way she sounded. I also knew there was no point in answering that question she posed because she was not even expecting me to give her any answer.

So I said, “Ify, please forgive me. I will make it up to you. I will explain everything to you when we see. You don’t know how much I am dying to see you again.” I cooed.

“Oh Vince, don’t give me that crap! How do you expect me to believe that? You are dying to see me and yet you didn’t find it in your busy schedule to call me or even send me a text message…?”

Wow! She just called me Vince again. Why do I always like the way my name sounds when she calls me Vince!

“Like I said, I’m very sorry and I promise to make it up to you. I didn’t know you were back already.”

“How will you know when it is obvious you have completely forgotten about me? Don’t even bother to explain because I think I already have an idea what must have kept you so busy that you cannot even—”

I knew where she would be going with that line of argument and I wasn’t ready for that. Time to change the topic. Time to take the war to her.

So I quickly cut in.

to be continued...

Pls more , I D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣γ̲̣ follow u like twitter

Nyc 2 hear frm ify again...more please

Chai!

@Ice4jez: Okay na, no wahala. I don book your face like facebook.

@balispecial: Hmm, you and dis Ify sef...

Okay na, una well done o! Here's more...

“I don’t know what you are talking about but all the same why didn’t you call me since then at least to know how the interview went or how I was doing?”

“Vince, is that what you are saying? You mean to tell me you don’t know that it is in a man’s place to call?”

“But if you recall, I did call you but you didn’t answer? Or didn’t you see my missed call…?”

“So what? I was busy. Why didn’t you call again?” she retorted.

“I don’t know why girls give out their numbers and yet they won’t answer if you call them.”

“That’s not my point! I mean why didn’t you feel like calling me again?”

It crossed my mind to tell her that I don’t have that kind of time, but I didn’t, rather I said, “But have you forgotten the saying that if Mohammed does not go to the mountain, the mountain goes to Mohammed, huh?”

“I don’t care. All I know is that it’s a man’s duty to call first!”

“Wait, Ify, so you mean to tell me that you wouldn’t have called me if I didn’t call you?”

“Yes!” she reaffirmed.

“Even if you were already missing me this much, as we can see…?” I teased her.

“Who is missing you?” she snorted.

“Never mind… girls, hmm…” I chuckled.

She suddenly started to giggle. I knew the fight was over. I was so happy.

“Vince, you eh…? I can’t call you no matter what. Think about it, what if I call you and your wife answers, how will you explain that to her?” she queried. Again, I knew where she was going with that question but I pretended I didn’t hear it.

“So when are we going to see?” I asked her.

“What do you think? It depends on you because I’m free anytime you feel like you want to see me.”

“Okay, how about this evening, let’s say by 7p.m., will it be possible for us to see by then?”

“No. No way!” she rebuffed.

I smiled to myself. I knew that was going to be her answer. She had told me earlier on that she does not fancy moving about in the evenings since, according to her, it was not safe for a girl to be doing something like that.

“Why? I thought you just said you have all the time in the world?”

“I thought I told you that I don’t like staying outdoors at night?”

“Okay, okay. What about tomorrow morning, let’s say, as from ten in the morning, will it be okay for you or maybe you don’t like staying outdoors around that time too?” I asked her with a humorous note in my voice.

“You idiot! I didn’t say so. I will start coming by ten. I hope your place is not that difficult to locate?”

A thought suddenly jumped into my head. Actually when I told her that I wanted to see her that evening, I didn’t know what I was thinking except that I wanted to buy some time to prepare for her visitation but now that she was asking after my place, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

“No, it is not difficult at all. Just enter a taxi. Tell the driver you are going to New Layout. It is not that difficult to locate. Once you reach the junction there, flash or call me and I’ll come to pick you immediately, okay?”

She said it was okay. As I wanted to drop the call I said, “Ify I hope I’m forgiven?”

“We shall see,” she answered.

“Okay… bye! As from ten, then?”

“Yes. I will be there! Bye.” Then she dropped the phone.

As I put the phone down, I looked at Uche. A very happy expression was written all over his face.

“So you have settled it with her?” he asked, eagerly. I told him I have.

“Hmm… that’s good. But you are a bad guy. You didn’t even tell me it had gotten to that stage where you are calling her by that name… Ify?”
“Must I tell you everything?” I quickly countered.

“I know but as your pal you shouldn’t be hiding things from me. For example, I don’t even know why you told her that you stayed at New Layout? I hope it’s not what I’m thinking?”

I told him it was exactly what he was thinking. I told him I have decided to use Eze’s place as my home because I needed to impress her.

“You know I can’t bring her to this jam-packed compound full of prying neighbors? I need to take her to somewhere serene and secluded where we can relax very well.”

“Hmm… did you just say relax?” he said, lewdly.

“You have a very dirty mind. That’s your problem!” I fired back at him.

I knew Eze was still avoiding me but I also knew he would quickly jump to the idea of allowing me to use his self-con like I have done so many times in the past, most especially when a girl is involved. I knew he would definitely like to also use that opportunity to try to make up with me. Who knows, he might also become motivated to go and talk to his father concerning my fate. Calling him on the phone was out of the question. I knew I had to go over to his place to inform him of my intention.

I looked at Uche and told him it was time for him to go because I have a very busy schedule tomorrow, which I told him I am aware he’s already aware of, and I have to start making plans for right it now. He wanted to protest but as he could see from the seriousness on my face, I have had enough of him for the day. It was now time for him to go.

He told me that at least I should wait for him to finish his game. I said no. He told me I should wait for him to drain his final bottle of Gulder and also eat the whole onions and cabbage in the suya. I knew he was only interested in stalling me just to enjoy the anguish he will certainly cause for me because he already knew I can get so impatient at times. I expressed my irritation and told him that he should get up so that we could leave at once because I am supposed to be heading straight to Eze’s place right away.

After a little persuasion that ended with me agreeing to buy for him some more suya on our way out, I succeeded in getting him ready to leave. When he was finally ready to leave, I walked with him to the door. We exited, and then I closed and locked the door. Then I saw him off by escorting to the place where he can enter any tricycle heading for Abakpa Phase II where he stays.

Afterwards, I entered another tricycle that was heading towards New Layout. I am going to see Eze and I am going to ask him a favor. This time around he had better not refuse my offer.

to be continued...

Weldon bro

CHAPTER 8

Eze did not refuse. He willingly handed over his keys to me. I guess he was completely tired of playing his silly hide and seek game. I also had a feeling he has really missed me so much and I knew he was trying to placate me but I didn’t want to make him feel like he has done something bad to me so I downplayed all his attempts towards making it seem as if we were settling a beef.

He didn’t even ask me anything about the girl. Maybe it was out of respect for me, or maybe it was because of our little tiff but I was very surprised that, for the very first time in a long while, quite unlike him, he was not interested in knowing if I was going to be sharing the booty with him later. Or maybe, in the manner of a patient dog, he was just bidding time. Whatever!

He just rolled his eyes at me and told me to make sure I had a good time with her. I told him I will. He asked me if I would need his car too. I told him I wouldn’t. He was acting so humble and that made me to become even more cautious with him. The thing with Eze is, he can really surprise you at times!

He left and I swung into action. Eze lived rough and his place was always scattered with so many things out of place. He lived in a two bedroom self-contain apartment with a moderately spacious living room. I quickly set out to arrange the whole place. I wanted to make it look so neat and impressive for Ifeoma whenever she arrives.

When I was through with setting the place in order and wiping away all the dust, and I was satisfied the whole place was looking spic and span enough, I went into the bathroom and took a shower. Then I quietly slid into one of his cozy sofa in the living room and switched on the flat screen to see if there was anything on the TV that would catch my attention.

I am not the TV type. I only watched the news just to stay updated. Eze is an ardent football fanatic so he was always subscribing to DSTV so that he will never miss any football game. I was glad for that because that will give me something extra to entertain Ifeoma with when the time comes. I knew most Nigerian girls liked watching Africa Magic.

The news was not interesting. What could be interesting about some people blowing themselves up with bombs somewhere in the Middle East? Gosh! War, war, war and more wars! The news is all about wars these days. I switched channel to see if I could find any other thing more interesting. I couldn’t find anything.

I knew where my mind was and it was not on what was happening on the TV screen. Finally, I decided to stick to one program on National Geographic channel that was showing something on how animals protect their young ones from predators. It would have helped only that I have watched that very program before so it didn’t help.

As I watched absent-mindedly, I waited for Ifeoma’s call. It was almost eleven and she hasn’t called. Was there any problem? I was beginning to get a little bit worried but I knew that my anxiety was more of the fact that this was going to be my first meeting with her rather than anything else. It crossed my mind to call her but I knew, from experience, the importance of not allowing a girl to see you as being desperate in a relationship, most especially, a budding relationship so I knew I had to do something to calm myself down, somehow.

The TV added to my boredom so I had to start from there. I used the remote control to switch it to standby before moving to the desk where Eze’s 17-inch Sony Vaio E Series lappy was to see if there was any game I could play on it.

Since I was the one who installed most of the games on his machine for him and I can even swear I make use of the laptop more than him, I already had an idea of what I was going to find there but at least, it was far better than listening to the gruesome tales of woes and calamities and watching war stories being played out live on Al Jazeera.

I decided to play Road Rash. It is an old game but I love it so much. One thing I always enjoyed about the game is that part where you have to virtually whip or kick other virtual racers you meet along the road. Soon I became lost in the game but I kept on running into obstacles, missing the target, and being overtaken by the other virtual bikers. Of course, I knew it was because I was not concentrating.

Then my phone rang. I quickly checked the caller ID. It was her!

I quickly abandoned the computer without even shutting it down or at least putting it into hibernation. I hastily locked the door behind me and rushed outside to go and meet her. I didn’t want to keep her waiting. I knew why I was so excited. I am addicted to novelty so much and this first real meeting with her was really pumping my adrenaline.

I soon reached the junction where I told her to wait for me. There were some other people standing there so I watched from afar to see if I could pick her out. When I saw her, I became glad and my heart started to beat so fast with excitement.

I quietly approached her from the back so that she would not know I was coming. Wow! She was a sight to behold. And she knew how to dress. She also knew how to look relaxed and confident. When I was close enough, I brought out a one hundred naira note, pushed it to her face and said to her in a foreign voice, “Excuse me aunty, but can you help me with this change, please? Someone gave it to me inside a bus…”

She looked up and when she saw it was me, she became gleeful.

“Vincent! Vince, will you ever stop playing?” she teased me as we hugged. Her happiness on seeing me was so obvious. I was happy too for seeing her, once again since that last time.

“Ify, it will happen the very day you learn how to stop keeping a guy waiting,” I replied. “Now come let’s get out of here before this hot sun melts you down completely.”

I took her left hand and led her away from the bus stop. On our way back to the house, we exchanged some more pleasantries. I praised her for looking so ravishing. She smiled and thanked me. She also apologized for keeping me waiting.

“Did I make you wait? Oh Vince, I am so so sorry… but you should have known that women take more time when it comes to dressing and preparations…”

“Never mind, it’s nothing serious! I’m only joking. It’s just that next time you should remember to tell me that you are going to take a lot of time so that I will just come and have the full pleasure of watching you dress up for the Miss World Beauty Pageant,” I teased her.

That made her smile. I noticed her smile really enhanced her beauty. Obviously, she was pleased to see me and I was equally pleased to see her too. Soon we reached Eze’s house and we entered the living room.

“This is my abode,” I announced.

to be continued...

“Hmm… nice place you’ve got here,” she said as her eyes travelled around the whole living room. I wanted to see if she was as impressed as I wanted her to be. I so much wanted to see her eyes to know how she really felt but I couldn’t because they were well hidden behind the dark goggles she was putting on either for the sake of fashion or just to protect her eyes from the sun or both. So, I decided to take the missed opportunity to really take a closer look at her.

She was really looking magnificent in the white short-sleeve blouse that had some red and blue flowery pattern design and a tight three-quarter sky blue jeans that showed off her elegant figure. Her stylish hairstyle made a very bold statement. I caught my breath as my trailing eyes rested briefly on her chest before quickly moving downwards to continue my survey. Her nice and smooth legs were also a delight to behold.

She watched me as I examined her with a confident smile dancing on her full red lips. I guess she was so pleased with the look in my eyes which must have told her that I liked what I saw because that was exactly what she asked me when I was finally through with the survey.

“Like what you see…?” she asked as she removed the goggles.

“Umm… I don’t know for sure. Madam, if you don’t mind, can you please kindly turn around so that I can still check everywhere just to be absolutely sure?”

She first gave me a quizzical look, and then like a coquette, she slowly turned around so that I could see that part too. Gracious me! Her shapely behind was nicely packaged in the jeans and as my roving eyes travelled down, I quickly noticed her sexy, non-muscular and very smooth calves. My oh my!

“Yes, I knew it! It’s okay. Ify, you and I know you’ve got it!” I exclaimed. She turned around to face me once again.

“You bad boy! Aren’t you going to offer me a seat or do you want me to keep standing so that you will keep on watching?”

“Yes.”

“Yes… what?”

“Yes, I’d preferred to keep watching and you keep standing, if you don’t mind but you can have a seat if you like,” I said with a feigned raspy tone and she started to laugh. “Okay, come with me, give me your hands and come and sit down here.”

I took her outstretched hands in mine and gave them a gentle squeeze before I maneuvered her to one of the comfortable settees in the living room, the one that was directly facing the flat screen and as she settled herself into a more comfortable position, I switched the set back on from standby. The way I planned it, she was going to be duly entertained and the telly was going to help me in doing that for her.

I also apologized to her once more for not calling her since the last time we saw. She told me that was in the past that she had already forgiven me. I wanted to explain myself to her by telling her that she escaped my memory but like I hinted earlier, I already knew from experience that women don’t like it if you tell them you were not thinking about them, most especially after you have shown some initial interest and gotten some positive reaction from them, so I let that one ride and just kept quiet.

“So what am I going to offer you? Food, drink, snacks… you name it because I have everything…” I proudly announced. Eze’s fridge was always stocked so I knew what I was saying.

“I will like to eat some real food first because I am feeling so famished right now but my only fear is that I already know you cannot cook.”

“Hmm. What do you mean by you already know that I cannot cook? So you really think I cannot cook, huh? Hmm… for your information, I can cook very well. I can cook things like… em… em… em…”

“Beans…? Because that’s just about the only thing I know most of you guys can only come up with. The rest is just pure concoction.” There was a mocking note in her tone.

“Actually, I was going to say Indomie…”

She burst into laughter and I soon joined her. The truth was that apart from the indomie noodles I mentioned, I barely knew how to cook. If not for those restaurants littered everywhere you turn to in the streets of Enugu, I wonder how I would have survived when it comes to feeding. Sometimes, I really envied Uche for his wonderful culinary skills.

It was always a shame for me to admit it, even to myself, that the main reason for my inability to cook was nothing but pure laziness and then of course, impatience too. I liked preparing indomie noodles because of its simplicity and the short time it takes to prepare it. But I think I must also confess that when it comes to eating, it is entirely a different ball game altogether for me because I certainly knew how to take my time in savoring any good food.

“Funnily enough, I already had indomie this morning so I don’t think I can eat that again.”

“I’s okay, there’s no problem because you are in the right place and there are so many options here and you will eat and eat and eat until you can eat no more,” I boasted. “I am going to prepare plantain with fried eggs, hope you haven’t taken that too this morning?” I chose fried plantain because it was another simple and easy to prepare meal—although it took a much longer time to prepare than indomie.

She laughed and told me that she hadn’t. As I handed over the remote control for the decoder to her, I told her I will be busy in the kitchen but she can amuse herself by freely changing the channels to whatever suits her.

“Okay… chef. Please make it look good, okay?”

“Trust me! In the meantime, make yourself comfortable, okay? Now let me get you something to drink…? Good, what will you like to drink?”

She told me she will take any soft drink I had and I went and brought for her Yoghurt from the refrigerator. As I served her the drink with a tumbler, I said, “Sorry, I don’t have your favorite Pepsi but I guess this will do. Make sure you enjoy yourself, okay? I will be back in a jiffy?”

She smiled. “Okay… chef. Just make it look good.”

And with that, I dashed off into Eze’s small but well-equipped kitchen to prepare the meal. Twenty minutes later, I was back with the meal. I placed the plate of food on the table then I went around the table and joined her in the settee. I also brought a bottle of chilled drinking water.
“Madam, the food is ready,” I announced.

“I can see for myself,” she said but her eyes were glued to the telly. I looked up to see what she watching. She was watching one fashion program on E!

“You don’t want to watch Africa Magic?” I asked her. She told me she did but she had already watched the movie they were currently showing. I told her it was time to eat and she reached forward to take the fork and the plate of food off the table. I did likewise. She said a short prayer over the meal and we started eating.

As we ate, I watched her. Once again, I noticed she was a slow eater. As she ate, she also watched the telly and we made some small discussion on so many things. We talked about the terrible situation of things in the country with regards to the high level of crime, corruption, unemployment and high level of insecurity in the country.

I filled her in with all the details of how my interview went and how I decided to come back to Enugu after waiting for so long to get a favorable result from Julius Berger only to later receive the news from my uncle that some other person who was better qualified had picked the job. She consoled me and told me once more never to lose any hope because she could feel that my quest is about to end.

“Have strong faith because your miracle is on the way!” she told me.

Soon, we were through with the meals and she thanked me before she jokingly told me that I tried when I asked her how the meal was. The sarcasm was there in her voice. I faked a grimace and told her that she should just wait until I prepare my famous indomie noodles with eggs for her and then she will know that I can do better than trying. She told me that she was already looking forward to that.

to be continued...

Your choice of words is gud, the story is fascinating. Thumbs up.

Really nice story, I juz have to comment

I didn't read all but the few lines I glanced through were epic. Cool story

@getafe, quintybabee and coolzeal: Thanks guys. I really appreciate...

It was so obvious we were so eager to continue with our lively discussion. We were no longer paying attention to the TV. We talked about places we have been to across Nigeria. I got the idea she has really travelled far and wide for she had so many awesome stories to tell me about those places she had been to.

Later, we talked about her academics and she related to me the current challenges that so many Nigerian undergraduates in higher institutions were facing with regard to the rising cost of school fees coupled with the equally rising cost of maintenance, the lack of sound equipment for adequate practical training, the rising wave of lack of seriousness plus examination malpractice among the students, the so many instances of broad daylight extortion of students by their lecturers through the sale of handouts or other extraneous charges levied on the student, the ineffectiveness of Student Unionism in schools plus the incessant sex for grade assault on some female students by some male lecturers on campuses.

I like that she was a very good conversationalist. I also liked that it was so easy talking to her. She was also a good listener and I liked that too. She told me about her nice friends at Emene, some at Achara Layout, and some other ones at GRA who she said she normally stayed with whenever she came to Enugu from Nsukka during the weekends, public holidays or when the schools are on break or whenever the lecturers were on strike. I noticed she didn’t say much about her family except that she was the second of the four girls her mother gave birth to.

I told her about my friends but I didn’t give her much details. I believe the right time for all that will surely come. Right now, we were still getting to know each other. But when I told her that I was my mother’s only son, she became elated at first and jokingly called me a mama’s boy and said that explains why I couldn’t cook only for her to later express her pity for me when she told me that it must have been so terribly lonely for me growing up as an only child. I told her that it wasn’t all that lonely because my father married two other wives and my stepmothers had a total of eight children between them.

We also talked about our favorite books, music and movies. I told her I liked rap music and Eminem is my favorite rapper. She told me she enjoyed blues most especially blues from Celine Dion. I told her my favorite movie is 24 while my favorite book is Think And Grow Rich.

I told her that I really enjoyed the fearlessness and bravery exhibited by that Jack Bauer character but I didn’t tell her that the book has been my favorite since that very day I bought it at that life changing seminar. In fact, I didn’t even tell her anything about that seminar. Time for that will surely come, I told myself.

She told me she liked reading thrillers.

“Like the ones from Sidney Sheldon, huh?” I inferred. She told me I was correct.

“Have you finished reading that one?”

“Almost.”

We talked about so many things save for the one very thing I was dying to know only that I just didn’t feel it was okay or right to ask, at least for now. Of course, I was dying to know if she was dating anyone but as she didn’t mention anything about that or even made any reference to it, I didn’t ask her neither did I tell her that I was not actually dating anyone. Maybe she was waiting for me to ask her first, or even tell her about mine, who knows…?

Time flew by but neither of us noticed. Obviously, there was a strong connection going on between us.

But at a point when I started noticing that awkward silence was beginning to set in, I moved to the DVD and slotted in the disc so that we could watch a movie. The movie was Desperate Housewives Season 4. She had mentioned she stopped watching at Season 2 and she didn’t want to start from the middle but I managed to convince her that I will fill her in so she finally agreed to watch it with me.

The movie took up most of our time. As the movie rolled and the plot unfolded, I tried to explain certain things she didn’t understand. We were seated so close on the settee and I didn’t even notice when she cuddled up next to me but when I finally did, I started feeling quite uncomfortable. I knew I had to play the perfect gentlemen by composing myself and focusing on watching the movie playing out before us rather than giving in to that tempting little voice that was gradually whispering things to me.

I also prayed that my voice will not give me away on how nervous I was feeling inside right now and that she wouldn’t notice the burgeoning growth that was occurring in my nether region right inside my trousers.

At long last, after spending close to about four good hours with me, she finally told me it was time for her to go because the friend she was staying with at Emene will start missing her. I complained and told her that I didn’t want her to go because I was going to miss her badly unless she was ready to divide herself into two so that I could keep one larger part and her friend could keep the rest.

She smirked before reaching into her handbag and brought out her small compact mirror and her other makeup gadgets and then she started to apply some make up. She applied some powder to her face. Then she applied the lipstick. It didn’t take her so much time for her to restore the magic back and look magnificent once more. The wonderful things make-ups do for women. As she made to stand up, I also stood up. Then she took me by surprise with her next action. She suddenly reached forward and planted a very light kiss on my lips.

“That is for you to remember me,” she explained.

“Hmm… if that’s the case, then I think you should do it to me for like… let me see… hundred more times!” I begged.

“You see your life? C’mon will you shut up there, you greedy fool!” she teased me. “That one is enough for you, Vince. It should be enough to hold you until we see again.”

“Okay, if you say so madam. So when are we going to see again?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s for you to decide. Remember, we are on holidays and I am always free but I don’t want to disrupt any of your busy schedules that can make you to easily forget some things like, you know, making a simple phone call to some random people you just met…”

“Ha! But I thought you said you’ve forgiven me?”

“Vince, believe me, I have. That kiss was just to help you remember not to forget me again, okay? Now come and see me off!”

“Yes, Madam Ifeoma Onuora! Let’s get going!”

Hand in hand, we marched outside. I escorted her to that junction where she will get a bus to Emene. Some other people were also standing at the junction waiting for the bus that will take them to their various destinations. I saw a bus heading towards our direction and I started to flag it down.

Ifeoma suddenly turned towards me.

“Vince…?”

“Yes?”

“Vince, there’s something I want to ask you…” she hesitated. “And I want you to tell me the truth.”

to be continued...

Vince, I want u to tell me d truth are u d owner of d apartment? hope I guess right?

aprilwise: Vince, I want u to tell me d truth are u d owner of d apartment? hope I guess right?

I dont think she will say that even if she suspect it isnt his#my opinion tho#

That sent my mind reeling and my heart skipped some beats because of the way she said it. Here it comes! What on earth is she going to ask me now? I braced myself in readiness for whatever she was going to ask.

“Vince?”

“Yesss?”

“Was that really your house?”

That really jarred and equally floored me at the same time because I wasn’t expecting that. I quickly waved at the bus driver who had already slowed down when I signaled him to stop to continue on his way. The driver cursed under his breath and sped past but I was not thinking about the expletives and the names he called me.

How on earth was she able to pick out that fact? Actually, I was even thinking she was specifically going to ask me something like if I had a girlfriend or who and where she was or something of that nature. I couldn’t recall ever mentioning anything about Eze owning the house to her.
She was watching me closely and she said she wanted me to tell her the truth so I switched my quick mind into action.

I flashed my disarming smile at her. It was the same boyish smile that has always helped me to lie or talk my way out of so many difficult and tight spots in the past when my lies or half-truths seem so true or acceptable.

But I knew I had to tread very carefully. It also crossed my mind that maybe she was not actually sure and she was only pulling my legs with the hope of catching me in a lie. I knew women like to do that sort of thing a lot. I call it setting traps.

Most women don’t like it when you lie to them. They may not tell you this but a woman will quickly form a very negative opinion of you once her mind is made up that you are nothing but a cheap liar and hence not trustworthy. Now, I don’t need to tell you that women are also good fault finders, do I?

“Of course, you have just been to one of my houses. Maybe I should have told you I shared it with my very good friend,” I told her glibly.

I didn’t actually find that statement to be odd because I really took good care of that place so often but then, if the truth must be told, Eze’s house is Eze’s but I didn’t flinch as I gave her that answer because I already knew that one of the safest ways to tell a smooth lie is to always say something that is close to the truth but not actually the whole truth.

“Really?”

Was that supposed to be a question? I didn’t know exactly but I knew I didn’t want to give her a straight answer and one of the cleverest ways of avoiding doing such a thing is by posing your own questions immediately.

“Ify wait a minute, what gave you the impression the house is not really mine as in mine…?” I asked her.

“Nothing actually. It’s just that there’s something, there’s a way I felt about that place. There’s this thing, I don’t know how to put it but there’s… something about you does not fit into that house.”

“Hmm. I don’t believe you. Of course, you know I am unemployed which means I cannot afford such a place?”

“No, not that…” She shook her head for emphasis.

“Hmm… really? What else again, if I may ask?” I asked her. My quick mind was already zinging, as usual.

What was she talking about? Was she already suspecting that I might be a yahoo boy involved in one fraudulent scam or another like some unemployed but bubbling and happening young guys popularly known in Nigeria as yahoo-yahoo boys who are notorious for engaging in internet dating scams and advanced fee fraud aka 419, 24-7, as a means of livelihood? I hope not, seriously.

I knew I had to relax her mind so I said, “I’m beginning to suspect you. You must either be a prophetess or a witch. Actually I have another place where I stay. It is located at Coal Camp. But I won’t lie to you, I’m still wondering about what that thing, this very thing you mentioned, actually is…”

“Vincent my dear, don’t worry your head. I will only tell you that very thing if and when you take me to this your other house, agreed?” she pleaded. I considered that for awhile. This girl was fast gaining my admiration. I like girls that are very observant and also very outspoken because it speaks so much about them and their personality.

I was dying to know the tell tale signs that I must have carelessly left hanging around that must have given me away, apart from the obvious fact that there was no way I could actually afford that house—and still claim to be unemployed.

Curiosity, they say, kills the monkey. I was dying to know how she knew so I said to her, “Ify, please if you will just tell me right now what you mean by that statement, I promise to give you Memories of Midnight which is the sequel to that one you were reading back then.” Oh yes! Let me play on her own curiosity too…

She looked at me closely for some few seconds and I thought she was going to budge but she surprised me yet again.

“I said it! You are really a salesman, aren’t you?” she asked me with her eyebrows raised. “Anyway, you know what mister salesman? Today is not your lucky day! Sorry, but nothing for you! Take me to this your other house first and I will tell you everything you want to know.”

As she said that, she started flagging down another bus that was heading towards our direction. She was now laughing at my confused state of mind and she was obviously enjoying herself.

The bus stopped. “Vince, think about it and give me a call later, okay? Good bye,” she said as she climbed into the bus. She waved me a good bye as the bus left and I equally waved her back, weakly though.

I stood there watching as the bus gradually disappeared from my sight.

“Sure, I definitely will,” I said to myself.

I was feeling somehow. It was a hodgepodge of two strong but contrasting emotions and I couldn’t remember the last time any girl made me feel that way. It was a very thrilling and wonderful feeling for me because I was feeling so elated and yet so deflated at the same time.

It was also confusing which, I guess, was what even made it so exciting for me!

to be continued...

Ify my kind of girl

CHAPTER 9

I invited her to my one-room apartment at Coal Camp four days later. I have tried to figure out on my own how she was able to detect that I wasn’t the owner of Eze’s place, apart from the obvious. I have put myself in her position. I have ransacked my brain as I tried to recall everything I have ever told her that might have led her into making that salient observation but I didn’t find anything at all.

It really hurt my pride, though in a positive sense, to find out that I was not actually as smart and all-knowing as I have always convinced myself that I was. Maybe, it was finally time for me to start accepting the fact that women are really way more far ahead of men when it came to intuitive perception and reasoning.

I told myself I won’t even call to invite her unless I could come up with at least ten telltale signs that gave me away. Four days later, after so much ado and racking of my brain, I gave up. It was a shame that I couldn’t even come up with any other reason save that she just made a chancy but lucky guess.

But deep within me, somehow, I knew she didn’t. I knew she saw something because I could recollect her facial expression when she was asking me to tell her the truth and I knew she would have also discovered instantly if I were lying.

So I finally swallowed my pride and called her. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was also worried by the fact that she might be thinking I am an internet scammer, and I was urging for the opportunity to correct that negative impression about me, if any.

She sounded so elated on the phone. She asked me when I would like us to see again. I told her eleven in the morning that same day will be okay. She asked me by way of mocking if I was still interested in knowing the answers I was seeking. I told her I wasn’t since I had already figured it out on my own. A big lie!

I told her that I just wanted her to be with me and that I also want to give her the Memories of Midnight. She laughed and called me a liar. I laughed and called her a wicked witch. She told me she was going to punish me for calling her that. I told her I wouldn’t mind as long as it involves her kissing me a thousand times because the last kiss she gave me has long since dried up.

She chuckled and told me not to worry that she is already making arrangements for that. I told her she should not keep me waiting. She said she won’t. I gave her the directions on how to locate my place because Coal Camp is a very suburban area in Enugu. She said she would call me if she lost her way. We said goodbye and I cut the call.

And then I started feeling the excitement of seeing her once again.

She didn’t keep me waiting this time around. At exactly 10:47a.m., my phone rang. It was her. She told me she was at the junction where I told her to stop but told me that I should come to pick her.

When I asked her why, she quickly told me that she didn’t even want to try to locate my place because she was not conversant with the Coal Camp terrain and she knew she would get lost immediately. I teased her by calling her a daddy’s girl. She laughed and told me she accepted it in good faith as long as I will come and pick her immediately. I told her to wait for me at Police College for I was coming there right away. She mimicked my voice and told me that I shouldn’t keep her waiting. We both laughed.

She spotted me first. She waved at me. I quickly came over to the place where she was standing. Once more, I appreciated the fact that she had a good dress sense. She was wearing an olive green T-shirt which tightly hugged her feminine shape very well.

I quickly noticed she was not wearing a lot of makeup which I liked. Her lipsticks were just about the right amount, just like her perfume. I took one quick but lustful look at those glorious mounds on her chest as I drank in the lovely swell of her full bre.asts that accentuated her sexi ness. I silently prayed she didn’t notice me gasp. Her black sandals showed off her beautiful toes.

I gently hugged her, taking the full weight of her heavy breasts on my broad chest, before taking her right hand in my left and started to lead the way. I complimented her on her braided hair which I told her was very stylish and eye-catching and made her look so pretty. She smiled coyly as she expressed her gratitude.

As we walked towards my place, I tried to describe the place to her by pointing out some monuments with which she would be able to easily locate my place next time she visits.

When we finally reached my place, I took her through a detour before we reached my one-room apartment. When she asked me if I always entered the compound from the backyard, I told her it is for security reasons so that I can escape immediately with the true believers whenever the Rapture finally happens.

She smirked and then punched me on my left upper arm. I cried out in pain and told her I didn’t know she could hit so hard. She told me that was for being naughty and joking with heavenly things and also for calling her a witch on the phone.

When we came to my door, I gently opened my doors but I didn’t make way for her enter immediately. I hesitated as if there was something inside I didn’t want her to see. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she vexingly ordered me to get out of her way unless I want her to push me inside. Then I slowly turned and faced her. She was watching me closely, a little bit perplexed.

I told her that there was something very important I wanted to tell her first. Trust me, I knew how to act and the serious deadpan expression on my face made her a little bit uneasy from the look on her face. I allowed a few seconds to pass without saying anything then I said to her in a very low sad voice, “Ify, you have to forgive me but I lied when I told you that I had Memories of Midnight. It was just a ruse. Actually, like I told you earlier, I only just want to be with you, that’s why I told you I had it in the first place…”

She shook her head in amazement and bewilderment. I liked the look in her eyes and the smile that danced on her lips—and her wonderful dimples too, as she smiled at me.

“Vince, you are really something else. So you think I don’t know you don’t have it? Of course, I knew you only want to be with me just like I know you know I also want to be with you which is why I am here. Now get out of my way, you fool!”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said as I finally stepped out of the way for her to enter. I quickly followed her in.

to be continued...

More update plz

balispecial: More update plz

Oga, no wahala. Just hang in there, okay? More will surely come...

You have a very good sense of humor