shizzleStar:
ok, the age difference is wide but way better than the op's. Its a bit okay as long as he is young at heart.

Did you say 1yr+? still a toddler....nawao! did he just divorce the wife? and for how long were they married? hope you don't find my curiosity offensive?, you may choose not to answer thou

amokeme:
they were never married. He gave up on love after a bad brk up with his ex of 8yrs.. out of impatience he decided to just have a child and 4get abt love. so whn he met his baby's mum, he told her he just wanted a child and he ll buy her a car, she accepted. Thats the story

shizzleStar:
oh i see, in other words they had an agreement and both were true to it and kept their part...good.

So has he made up his mind to love again? If he is asking you to marry him and you really like him, you can consider since he seem to be a straightforward and sincere person, the age difference can be overlooked. 13years gap is big but isnt the most ridiculous of age differences, what matters most is your happiness and as long as a strong bond exists between you two, then its settled.

Baring objections from your folks amongst other considerations, you may consider him, its upto you......you have a choice to make

amokeme:
we started dating in may, honestly he really loves me so much, and my mum likes him too(thats a plus) sometimes I just wish the child/baby mama ish is not In the picture. Tho I dont have any problem with the child(she stays with me most times whn am back from sch) but the mum, the text msges she sends to him are disturbing

shizzleStar:
Interesting to hear he loves you so much and your mum also appreciates him, you really should have no problem with the child cos she is his daughter and maybe very soon, ceteris paribus you will be her [i]step[/i]mum too...lol.

What are the contents of the text? does she threaten him? does she curse him? is she trying to make life unbearable for him or you? what? i really want to know what her problem is as to why she sends him 'disturbing' text messages. He has not wronged her in any way (judging from what you said at least).

Did you ask your man why she keeps sending him those 'disturbing' messages and what was his response?

Yomieluv:
You know what you want to do,you just want us to give you a good reason to do it.

Safe journey.

amokeme:
she is in love with him... she is been trying all she can to make him feel same way, there was dis day she told him 'whn timi(not real name) grows up am going to tell her I loved you with all my heart buh you never felt same way' can you imagine that?

And he is saying he wants to get married to me next year(asin he is really begging, he told my mum abt it, and she told him its upto me) I told him am not ready for that one now if he can wait for 4year, then we can start talking about that. I am really scared, I feel am too young to entangle myself in this kind of situation. I dont want to marry him and the daughter will hate me or thinks am the reason her dad didn't marry her mum

shizzleStar:
He seem to have a good heart so its understandable thats she is in love with him.........he is under no obligation to love her or marry her. When he met her they had an agreement to which both parties kept their own part of the bargain, that was the deal, so he does not have to love her. As a matter of fay he has nothing to fear, when the child grows up and asks her dad why he didn't marry her mum, let him tell her exactly what transpired and the agreement they had. She has absolutely no reason to hold him to ransom. This is the problem withe 'most' women, they are so selfish, ingrates and hypocrites. She claims she loves him, why did she collect the gift of a car in exchange for a child? why didn't she have the baby for him unconditionally. She is a liar! she only loves his money and benevolence.


Like i said earlier, the bulk is on your table. It is so unfair of you to ask him to wait for 4years, that's selfish. How old are you? He is ready and willing to marry you and has your mums approval, you need to make a decision and asking him to wait for 4years is unacceptable and no sensible man will do that, what is the guarantee that you will not ditch him...so waiting for you is a no..no.

As for the child, you owe her no explanation for marrying her father. You neither snatched him from her mother nor forced him to marry you, that being the case, you are immune from upbraid or culpability.

amokeme:
thank you so much for really taking your time to reply, God bless you
and abt me telling him to wait for 4yrs, am just 21 in 300l, so do you understand the reason I said 4years now?.

watching closely..........

amokeme:
thank you so much for really taking your time to reply, God bless you
and abt me telling him to wait for 4yrs, am just 21 in 300l, so do you understand the reason I said 4years now?.

shizzleStar:
Welcome!

Yes now i understand, you are quite young....that means he is 34. You need some maturity before you fully delve into marriage, that's acceptable. The onus is still on you to make a decision, explain this to him in a nice way. In 4years time....you, 25...him, 38. If he decides to wait (which i doubt), fine...and if he doesn't, wish him well and you both move on.

Seems he is so much into you thou...you want 4yrs time and he wants 1(next) year...why not reach a compromise? 2years...thats after you must have graduated and gone for NYSC, that's fair enough isn't it? Give him this alternative and see how he takes it.

God luck!

amokeme:
he is 33. 2yrs is too short anyways, we ll talk abt it again. Thanks so much, I really appreciate

amokeme:
they were never married. He gave up on love after a bad brk up with his ex of 8yrs.. out of impatience he decided to just have a child and 4get abt love. so whn he met his baby's mum, he told her he just wanted a child and he ll buy her a car, she accepted. Thats the story

babygirlfl:


Is this what he told you? Are you sure that's what definitely happened? I ask because there is something about this story that does not sound right.